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Deep melancholy after sex
#1

Deep melancholy after sex

Do any of you experience this? I think it may be sign that I need to get a long term girlfriend. Generally the 'uglier' the girl the worst the feeling gets.. getting way too picky, 7s don't really do it anymore.
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#2

Deep melancholy after sex

Every man who fucks a lot of women experiences this.

I pass up several women a week just to avoid waking up beside them.

But sometimes you get a girl that you enjoy waking up beside and that makes all the difference in the world , especially in beginning stage of the relationship / sex where you're too excited to sleep and you want to hold them during the night.

That feeling eventually fades; however, it's something that should be experienced by every man if possible. I usually meet a girl like this once a year. For some guys, they may meet one once every five years, others may never meet a girl like this at all.

If you're really banging 7s, I don't think banging an 8 or 9 will fix this problem , you're just going to have to find a girl you enjoy being around. And those are hard to find. But they are out there. Then the melancholy fades for a while until boredom kicks in.
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#3

Deep melancholy after sex

Quote: (10-18-2017 11:13 PM)Striking Wrote:  

Do any of you experience this? I think it may be sign that I need to get a long term girlfriend. Generally the 'uglier' the girl the worst the feeling gets.. getting way too picky, 7s don't really do it anymore.

Start challenging your self more, go after higher status women, change up your approach, start being more aggressive. Do different shit to get the thrill back. You probably found a honeypot where you have learned to pickup a certain level of girl with a certain kind of bait and after you've done it for a while it becomes less satisfying because its not fulfilling. I say don't get into a relationship, just take your game to the next level. Like do inconspicuous shit, Go to the library and if the librarian is attractive try to pick her up but try to get some pussy as soon as possible, escalate as quickly as you can. Idk how old you are, (I'm early-mid 20's) so picking up a cute 30-ish old librarian for me would seem like a thrilling challenge, because its different especially if I'm not getting satisfaction anymore with what I'm currently doing
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#4

Deep melancholy after sex

"Triste est omne animale post coitum, praeter mulierem gallumque"

Every animal is sad after coitus except the human female and the rooster
Galen (30-200 A.D.), in: Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, (1973), p. 19.

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Galen
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#5

Deep melancholy after sex

You don't need a girlfriend for that.

My solution is to have several long term girls that I have sex with, but that I also enjoy to hang out with. I genuinely like them, and I'd consider them my friends.

It's a sort of 'friends with benefits' where the friendship is quite strong, without desexualising the relationship. Almost everything you get from a girlfriend it still there: cooking, going to the cinema/gigs/events, talking, travelling. But you also get variety, and there is a freedom from commitment.

I'd say you should only get a 'long term girlfriend' if you think you might marry her.
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#6

Deep melancholy after sex

I usually meet a girl like this once a year. For some guys, they may meet one once every five years, others may never meet a girl like this at all.

What are some of the qualities these girls posses beside their beauty and what makes them unique from other girls? or is it like any normal women can be "the one" to different men at different times? Possibly, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder thing..
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#7

Deep melancholy after sex

Linux, that is pretty depressing..
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#8

Deep melancholy after sex

I went through a time after my divorce where I would fuck many girls with reckless abandon with no feelings. Now I get almost depressed, and ill, if I fuck a girl I am not attracted to or really want anything to do with. I actually wouldn't want to look them in the face afterwards.

On the flip side I have had a lot less sex, but they are mostly with women I want to wake up next to. However I have fight off getting hurt and one-ites.
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#9

Deep melancholy after sex

I get this pretty heavy and have always had it. Think Biggie Smalls "Suicidal Thoughts" ... I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes... Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies... That level of melancholy. The title of this thread includes the word "deep"... I think mine qualifies.


1. If the girl is under what I would consider "pretty" e.g. a 5, the melancholy is fueled by a feeling of disgust at myself, feelings of self-criticism e.g. "why couldn't you ejaculate in a hotter girl", "damn why did that 7 flake now I'm stuck with a 5" and if I meet guys later or am in a social gathering, I feel ashamed and for some reason (maybe because my desire is muted but still I feel I should get 7s instead of a 5) I feel like punching every girl I see in the face, especially the hotter ones so 6s and 7s. To the guys I just say "shiiiitttt....I just came in a 5" "what, rawdog" "yeah...totally exploded in her... fuuuuuuuuck..." "fuuuuckk" [Image: confused.gif]

2. If the girl is a girl I have put a lot of work in because she has "a great personality" or she's "really sweet, feminine and intelligent", the melancholy is fueled by a feeling of "fuck, she just did X Y Z in the sheets, what a freak, when I saw her I thought NAWALT... [cartman voice] 'noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.......' Sometimes girls who look the opposite of "sluts" and even had lives not slutty so far, these girls do the freakiest shit in bed or allow it, while the "sluts" can be quite "tame" compared to these chaste-looking feminine girls. I question why I put in so effort for this girl when it was just smoke and mirrors. What's the point of all this effort in pickup? Self-improvement. I look at her disheveled face, slightly ashamed often, and I think, "Maybe I should just quit chasing girls and play Elder Scrolls while eating candy and drinking Mountain Dew all day, at least I would be able to escape and not feel this."

I even have this with motivation if I jerk off. Before ejaculation: "yeah I'm definitely gonna travel to X and Y location." After ejaculation: "fuck that I'm staying home."

I did a lot of research on this online and could only find that Galen quote. But most men don't have this crash, they may feel a lot flatter but they don't descend into a dark abyss.

I couldn't find any real cure. I just play 90s hip hop after ejaculation that fits the mood so I don't feel like I'm alone or something along those lines.
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#10

Deep melancholy after sex

Regret or sadness after sex is a sign that you are not aligned with your values in your sexual hunts.

You should only hunt and bang women that give you a feeling of elation after sex.

Quality, not quantity.

This is especially true if you have lied, forced or manipulated her into sex - that regret is your soul out of focus with your values.

Thats the worse feeling in the world, and no pussy is worth that....
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#11

Deep melancholy after sex

I get that feeling often. I think it's the process of pulling/seducing a girl that causes the positive emotions, rather than achieving the goal in of itself. You get more excited with every step that gets her closer to your bedroom, and once you orgasm, all of your goal-oriented behavior for the entire night is basically eliminated instantly, and you're left wondering why you put so much time into sticking your dick into a wet hole. The only time I feel good after sex is if I actually like the girl enough to want to still spend time with her or if the sex itself was an orgasmic psychedelic mindfuck, which is rare.

People get confused about motivation and positive emotions, as far as I understand the dopaminergic reward systems in our brain make the pursuit of a goal pleasurable, not the actual achievement of a goal. That's why people who complete their PhD thesis can feel utterly depressed once they're done, because they're suddenly left with a feeling of "now what?" It's the same with eating a meal, you are super excited when you first start eating, but once you're done you might feel like shit because this dopamine-mediated pathway is now suddenly eliminated and your brain has to figure out what new goal oriented behavior to identify.
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#12

Deep melancholy after sex

Batman this is pretty much it. The dopamine crash from the immediate cessation of goal-oriented activity leaves one with a sense of pointlessness, and from pointlessness comes the age old questions of the meaning of life, why do all that to put my dick in a wet hole, and, er, let's just say "deep melancholy" as the OP put it...
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#13

Deep melancholy after sex

Quote: (10-18-2017 11:13 PM)Striking Wrote:  

Do any of you experience this? I think it may be sign that I need to get a long term girlfriend. Generally the 'uglier' the girl the worst the feeling gets.. getting way too picky, 7s don't really do it anymore.

Good comments here. I also get this in a bad way if the girl is not good standard. It's a dark feeling. Even when I watch substandard porn I get it. I guess at some point you just start to expect more of yourself..

Related thread.
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#14

Deep melancholy after sex

I can imagine this happening very easily in a scenario where you've gone from banging a top-shelf babe to porking a mediocre or poor quality girl after a break up or something. It's hard to downgrade without feeling a deep swell of regret about it.
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#15

Deep melancholy after sex

I have this right now. Its a five year anniversary this week of when I was stuck in my apartment during a hurricane with me ex. I was reminded of it today. In those 5 years, I found this forum, started gaming heavily, and subsequently have been with many women. When I think of all of the time, effort, distraction and money I wasted during those five years, I am starting to feel unfulfilled now. Sometimes I worry that it will be harder for me now to be in a relationship.

Even though I have been with some remarkable women, here 5 years later, I have not found one to stick with, long term. A few have lasted 6 months, one a year, but for the most part I will meet someone and discover we are incompatible, and lose desire to pursue. Even just for sex. Its like I dont even care, because I know I can find another one, in a short amount of time.

I think I want to take a total break until the new year. To reset myself, and come back to go after finding what I want.
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