Quote: (10-10-2017 11:01 AM)General Stalin Wrote:
Option 3: "Hi, what's your name?"
girl: "Hello I'm Stacy, what's your name?"
"I'm Treatmentgroup. I think you're pretty so I wanted to introduce myself and talk to you for a while. What kind of coffee is that" <-sit down next to her as you say the last sentence
Game on. You set the sexual attraction tone from the beginning no games, no indirect bs, no fluff.
Fail. Bad game. Maybe 10 years ago it would be bold-ish but that's all about it.
She has absolutely no reason without a reasonable context to divulge to you her name. Shows lack of social acuity from the get-go and sounds very mechanical. There's no game here at all, no flirting, just throwing a brick against a concrete wall to see what happens (guess what - the brick won't do more than a tiny dent if lucky). Then you try to smash it by qualifying yourself hard so she'd like you because you give her a very generic compliment? Next step changing the topic immediately to her coffee - what's the point? You're in a social space - maybe it's her regular place and the baristas and patrons sitting around know her well (even if she's sitting outside people look outside the window or someone may come in/out), she doesn't know if you're a passer-by or maybe a regular too. All this things matter to girls. It's not an anonymous street in a bit city. Majority of men have no idea how afraid women are... of other women's actions through
Female intrasexual competition such as, e.g., female derogation and slut-shaming.
It's a paramount that you can introduce yourself in such a way she'll feel comfortable there's little to no risk of her showing interest in you. It's much more than just being bold - you need to show that you can be discrete, offer consequence-free sex, won't stalk her, decrease her social value in front of others, gossip about her and, most importantly - you are safe (every girl will have a bit different understanding of that).
With heads-on, bold approach you may feel good about yourself but most likely either she'll rebuff your attempt she has a boyfriend or you'll extract the number and she won't reply. Women often barrage a man with questions, such as what do you study/what's your job, where do you live, etc. NOT because they are interested in these details per se (though they may) but to figure out to whom he may or may not be socially connected. If you can come across as both bold yet safe, discrete and socially calibrated she may decide to take the risk of fast, consequence-free sex.
My personal coffee-shop game experience is limited but what I do is I open contextually. Easiest way is when the girl is reading/working on something or (just about to finish and leave) so I just make an assumption. If it's in a queue, then try to figure out something about her appearance, and if that's too generic then about her looks (my default-generic is "Excuse me. Couldn't help but notice you look a little too wild to be British" - it is especially funny if the girl clearly doesn't look British). Then I free-wheel contextually, will probably figure our her logistics (is she waiting for someone if not, what's her plan for the day) then try to personalise about her as soon as possible, then throw a few things about me so she'd have a broad-strokes image whom she's dealing with. All of that will be punctured with me touching her (of course socially - we're in a public space and people are watching) a bit. Then I'll qualify her: "Hmm, you seem more interesting than expected." Close on a high note with some specific compliment relating to her but only then - at then end. Some girls are retarded and need to put it plainly in front of them they are being picked up. Then maybe time-bridge for the next meet up, and close her on whatsapp and on the spot message her my name. Perhaps a few more exchanges, then eject from the cafė. The template is London Daygame Model.
But to answer the question:
There was a cute blonde sitting on the sofa outside the cafe
1: Standing up - and asking her ''is that a good coffee/ice cream?''
That's your best bet to _start_ the conversation, but it depends - see below.
2: Sitting next to her - and then asking ''is that a good cofee/ice cream?''
If I had all the information I'm asking for below then probably I could give you a suggestion but I wouldn't recommend to sit next to her from the start because, simply, either someone maybe coming - a friend, her date, grandma (unless you can figure out from the situation she's by herself) and you may make it very awkward (not for you - for her). She doesn't know you at all, doesn't know if you sit down you'll stay there for long, doesn't know how socially smooth you are, and if you REALLY were, you WOULDN'T sit down next to her without any introduction - only and only if the vibe was good, she focused her attention on you after opening her and stopped doing whatever she was doing, then she'd approve of your polite request: "do you mind if I join you for a minute or two?" Only then it would be socially acceptable to sit down. Still wouldn't recommend it if you were passing-by. Different story if there was a sofa opposite - then sitting down would make sense from the get-go, preambled by a generic "do you mind my sitting here?" more as a matter-of-factly than a real question. Then open right then, or after some time, depending on the situation.
The suggested opener is weak - not a statement but a boring question (again, this might work if you're lucky, e.g., she's ovulating, single, horny and you're her type) many guys before you asked her (assuming she's an attractive gal).
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See, if there's garbage in, garbage out - you can't get a good, tailored answer without providing the right details. It's obvious to me that most advice posted is just a cookie-cutter stuff that wouldn't apply to a real-life scenario.
I'd like to have more details:
- what time of day?
- what exact time it was when you saw her (people meet in cafės at full or half hours - it it was, say 5:55pm, her cup full, there was a chance she was meeting someone at 6pm. If it was 5:40, she had her cup half-full then more likely she was by herself and you'd have more time)?
- whereabouts?
- quiet or a busy street?
- arrangement of the sofa(s)?
- were there other patrons or just herself?
- where you a customer or just passing?
- did it look she was just chilling or waiting for someone?
- how was she dressed, dull, generic or dolled-up, the colours, flat shoes of heels, how much skin was she showing, was there make-up, lipstick and nails done?
- was her coffee full, half-way, or empty?
- did she sit comfortably, looked-around and kept eye-contact with people, or just focused on something (e.g., her phone)?
- what did she her in front of her on the table?
All of that matters, some things more than others. Also, approaching a seated girl is an ambush approach - it's a bit harder for her to leave (unless she was just about to go anyway) so you need to show social acuity you won't hover over her for too long.
