[SlickyBoy]

I don't know where else to go with this and I didn't bring up my opinion of it to my good friend, but I'm pretty sure his daughter just married a very obvious queer.

No, the groom isn't rich or famous, but yes, they share common interests. Both are formally trained musicians. She's a saxophone & oboe player, he's a - ahem - organist. and choir director. They both live in NYC and work in the music industry, but at low paying academic and community-related gigs. They dated for about a year and got married a few months ago and moved into a nice place on the upper west side.

She's actually pretty attractive - 5'7, 25ish, half-Korean, half white but looks full asian. She''d be a 7+ but has such a nice non-asian rack it puts her into solid 8 territory. He, on the other hand, is about 30 and looks like a short version of Pee Wee Herman, except even gayer. She's actually a tad taller than him when she wears heels.

There's a short video of the wedding online, but since they are not public figures I won't post it here. Long story short, her body language when they kiss says everything, as does his. In a few other photos of them, he's always just a bit too dapper, a bit too well put together, and wearing threads no straight dude would wear, not even in NYC, not even in the music business. All of his friends in their pictures look at least metrosexual if not full on pole smoking gay, though nowadays it's increasingly hard to tell as urban guys are all so outwardly gender fluid. There were also a few fag hags in the wedding party photos too.

The only thing I'm thinking is because of two low paying music gigs it makes more sense for them to get married for economic reasons - but regular roommates should accomplish that. Alternatively, she really does think he's straight and unaware of his plan - to knock her up, wait till the baby pops out and then announce his preference for the skin flute in addition to his organ training and proceed to get divorced.

It's not unheard of for gay men to deceive women like this, but if that's the plan, he's not doing much to appear masculine and straight. In fact, this kind of marriage was more common in Hollywood decades ago even had a name - lavender marriage.

My friend, a retired Army officer, has to know what's up - but she's his only child and he's probably living in denial. I would love o be wrong about this but I don't think I am.

So WTF - why would a young, very attractive and talented woman who's probably got easier access to rich guys through her connections in the music business than the average "sex and the city" wannabe waste her potential marrying a gay guy?

[Belgrano]

How do you know she's not a lesbian?

[DarkTriad]

"They dated for about a year and got married a few months ago and moved into a nice place on the upper west side. "

I suspect he's a rich guy's/politician's boy toy and Richie Rich is investing in the full double beard blind.

[kosko]

First, I want to know how two low-paying classical musicians can afford to live in NYC?

Second, he is probably, at minimum, a bi

Third, even if this girl is mixed, she is still Asian at heart. Some Asian girls will date any caucasian dude - if dude can fill out 'Caucasian' in the census some Asian girls will be down. I have seen tons of zero game having dudes here in Toronto with Asian girls far above their lot, basically the same to me as zero game having black dudes who shack up with fat white girls - they all do it as its easy to do.

Fourth, as @Belgrano mentioned, maybe this is both sides playing a Con-Game on everyone? MAybe both Bride and Groom want to play games to keep up appearances with their family and claim they are straight.

[Foolsgo1d]

If I saw him and how he acted I'd be sure to know. The benefits of being surrounded by liberals, gays and lesbians in different locations is you hone your senses to them.

If your gut is telling you he is gay then its most likely right.

[tarquin]

The solution is to give me her phone number.

[SlickyBoy]

(09-20-2017 05:22 PM)kosko Wrote:  

First, I want to know how two low-paying classical musicians can afford to live in NYC?

Ditto - and their new place isn't exactly way up in Haarlem either.

Quote:

Second, he is probably, at minimum, a bi

Thinking the same thing. Except there is no "bisexual" - you either suck dick or you do not suck dick.

Quote:

Third, even if this girl is mixed, she is still Asian at heart. Some Asian girls will date any caucasian dude - if dude can fill out 'Caucasian' in the census some Asian girls will be down. I have seen tons of zero game having dudes here in Toronto with Asian girls far above their lot, basically the same to me as zero game having black dudes who shack up with fat white girls - they all do it as its easy to do.

Not sure about that - she was raised in the US not culturally Asian at all and as mentioned, not after money that I can tell. Unless he's got some family cash stashed away in a trust or whatever.

Quote:

Fourth, as @Belgrano mentioned, maybe this is both sides playing a Con-Game on everyone? MAybe both Bride and Groom want to play games to keep up appearances with their family and claim they are straight.

Could be, but i'd be very surprised if she's a hardcore lez beyond a few experiments in college.

[puckerman]

I fail to see how worrying about this benefits you. Even if you are right, you have little or nothing to gain by mentioning it to your friend or his daughter.

[kaotic]

(09-20-2017 06:47 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

I fail to see how worrying about this benefits you. Even if you are right, you have little or nothing to gain by mentioning it to your friend or his daughter.

Seconded, it doesn't affect your life, but you're letting it.

At this point it's out of your hands, might as well say fuck it and let them roll the dice on their marriage.


I wouldn't say shit to my buddy about it, only bad can come from it.

[SlickyBoy]

Understood, and no, I never planned to say shit. More of a societal observation - just wondering how common this is. Oh well.

[MMM]

Yep. No good deed goes unpunished. It's probably a double-beard situsituation.

[The Beast1]

No offense OP, but your reasoning for making this post seems off. I would have to be really bored to be analyzing a relationship to this level.

Why bother caring?

[SlickyBoy]

See the last paragraph of my post. I don't care about it per se, but like much of this board I am interested in cultural shifts taking place in the west and female behavior, generally. This was a wrinkle I hadn't seen before.

[The Stronger Sex]

It's crazy the amount of reasonably attractive broads you see with effeminate cucks. I suppose it's part of the emasculation of men, but most times you just know he must be at leat bi and there's no way she doesn't see it unless she's in denaial. But then again there are times when the guy actually cheats with a man and she acts as if she didn't see it coming. Broads just aren't too smart as a general rule.

I guess they see them as less threatening/more compliant/less likely to cheat.

[Off The Reservation]

I agree with thebeast1 it might not be worthy of such profound observation. However,

For a moment consider the possibility that he is not gay, not even a little. For this woman, there may be many reasons she chose him other than what you see as the natural order of SMV.

Examples may include - in no particular order,

- that she holds deeply seated values that seek to repudiate traditional values of monetary success, and actually likes this community stuff.
- that all men are just handbags to her and she likes this one in the music world.
- that he actually has game at some level outside observers do not, and won over a decent girl.
- that she finds masculinity in his music and performance and frame that outperforms all other measures of masculinity for her, and for her she would not consider another man.
- that he isnt gay at all but has a superior sense of style and manages to live a decent lifestyle on little.

I would give benefit of the doubt to the last three, knowing nothing personally and not many facts from your post.

Your "evidence" for his being gay is that he is too dapper and was nervous at his wedding. But what I read is that he has serious FRAME as a man and musician. Maybe there is something to learn here instead of throwing him under the bus.

[NightVale]

Like a few other guys said, sounds like she's a lesbian.
Half-Korean means she will be getting a lot of pressure to get married.
He's probably also sick of constantly been asked when he's getting married.
So like generations of gays and lesbians before them, they get married, pop out a sprog, then get divorced.
Parents get a grandchild.

[RawGod]

Half-Korean with big tits? This is a special case, I'll need to be PM'd the nudes before I can dispense my wisdom.

[TravelerKai]

How many guys on this forum, aside from Tuthmosis, are classically trained musicians besides myself?

I have lost count of how many guys I thought were gay growing up as a brass player, either around me as classmates or instructors/composers.

I guess what I am trying to tell you is that musicians are VERY weird people. Very quirky and very eclectic.

I had two directors that were married with wives, that loved wearing pink shirts. You never saw them do anything funny with other dudes and one in particular was very aggressive and masculine. He was definitely an alpha. The other one would literally dress like Modest Mussorgsky and even keep his hair messy like he did. Dude would always walk around talking out loud to himself and humming tunes. He was extremely good at composing too. I once had a cool black one that was so strange and intellectual, but had a strange temper. He was a Black Bobby Knight. He would toss his sheet music stand or snap his conductor stick if we made too many mistakes as a group. When we were not playing he was like your best friend.

Anyway, they could be gay but, when you wrote out what instruments they play and what they do for a living, I kinda mentally wrote off the rest of your evidences. Musicians are just weird people. Even people who play guitars are quirky and weird people!

Shit I cannot front either. I am weird as fuck too. You guys just don't have the heart to break it to me.

[The Beast1]

(09-21-2017 08:17 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

How many guys on this forum, aside from Tuthmosis, are classically trained musicians besides myself?

I have lost count of how many guys I thought were gay growing up as a brass player, either around me as classmates or instructors/composers.

I guess what I am trying to tell you is that musicians are VERY weird people. Very quirky and very eclectic.

Oh hey fellow orchadork.

Had a lot of kids think I was gay growing up, but that's what happens when you play a string instrument and participate in school activities in country towns.

Musicians are a weird bunch.

[heavy]

Thought there'd be a pic...photo analysis of body language

[Vill@in]

(09-21-2017 03:48 AM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

...cultural shifts taking place in the west and female behavior, generally. This was a wrinkle I hadn't seen before.

The cultural shift seems to be that men just are more effeminate in their appearance, so it's more accepting for fags to show their feminine side without hiding in the closet. I think it's more like they are having their cake (dressing like a queer) and eating it too (heterosexual marriage mirage).

Women have been marrying homosexual men (whether knowingly or unknowingly) since the beginning of marriage.

I was brought up believing that if it talks like a fag, walks like a fag, then it's a fag. But now? Who the fuck knows.

(Although if you dress like a faggot then I'm going to call you a faggot)

[ScrapperTL]

(09-21-2017 08:17 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

How many guys on this forum, aside from Tuthmosis, are classically trained musicians besides myself?

I have lost count of how many guys I thought were gay growing up as a brass player, either around me as classmates or instructors/composers.

I guess what I am trying to tell you is that musicians are VERY weird people. Very quirky and very eclectic.

I had two directors that were married with wives, that loved wearing pink shirts. You never saw them do anything funny with other dudes and one in particular was very aggressive and masculine. He was definitely an alpha. The other one would literally dress like Modest Mussorgsky and even keep his hair messy like he did. Dude would always walk around talking out loud to himself and humming tunes. He was extremely good at composing too. I once had a cool black one that was so strange and intellectual, but had a strange temper. He was a Black Bobby Knight. He would toss his sheet music stand or snap his conductor stick if we made too many mistakes as a group. When we were not playing he was like your best friend.

Anyway, they could be gay but, when you wrote out what instruments they play and what they do for a living, I kinda mentally wrote off the rest of your evidences. Musicians are just weird people. Even people who play guitars are quirky and weird people!

Shit I cannot front either. I am weird as fuck too. You guys just don't have the heart to break it to me.

This post is pure gold in both real world insight and entertainment.
In my youth I played and studied a bit of Classical Guitar and Chromatic Harmonica.
Also played Bass Guitar in a obscure hard rock band that did some light touring in the USA.
Met a lot of over the top personalities, quirky and weird are perfect words.
Atleast they are not boring though!

SlickBoy, you never know, this may be one of those "Game Recognized" moments.
Give the homey some props, for all you know he is motorboating those perfect South Korean Tits on a nightly basis.

[Jetset]

In my father's time and place, people would go to a wedding like this, sigh, and mumble "it's in God's hands" into their bourbon.

Translation: it ain't your problem.

[Sonoma]

On the flip side, I've met some guys presenting as straight but were really bisexual cucks.

Perhaps she's an Asian princess and enjoys lording over him, at least in the short term.

Maybe she enjoys his company, but is in an open marriage.

There's a lot of alternative options that people go for

[Guitarman]

How do you know he's not just a low T soyboy?

Few people are talking about this.