First thread for me here so I'll cut to the chase.
My sister(25) and my best friend(29) met and got into a relationship about 5 years ago. Three years later they got engaged.
They 've had their ups and downs, fights and all that, and I tried to help them resolve them.
I also tried to be as fair as I could, and many times I took his side against my sister when I thought he was right.
I tried to red pill him but I know how difficult it is when the other guy doesn't want to see things straight, so I didn't push it.
About a week ago we had a barbeque with some friends at my sister's place (actually our father's). Sister and my friend were bickering a little but I didn't pay much attention because it happened quite often. The more I watched however, the more I saw my friend becoming defensive and withdrawn.
We left together and took the train home.
He then told me that he couldn't take it any more, that their engagement was going south, mainly because of the decline in their sex life and because she didn't want to spend more time with him (he had been asking her to permanently move at his place but she only stayed there a couple of nights each week ).
I tried to give him some advice and help him see things from another perspective but he didn't listen much. I went home with a bad feeling but decided not to push things by asking/interfering more, after all they had gone through fights like this before.
So yesterday I'm calling my sister and hear the dreaded news of the break up.
About their characters:
The main problems with my sister are that
a) she shit-tested my friend relentlessly,
b) she sometimes didn't know when to keep her mouth shut and
c) didn't listen to my advice.
On the other hand, she can be very reasonable, certainly more than my friend, and she really loves the guy. She even tells me that she doesn't want him to spent money for her on presents etc. because of his tough financial situation. She is devastated by the turn of events.
I kept telling her that she should quit testing him like that, he proposed the engagement after all, and all she had to do was prove to him that she deserved to be his wife.
I could see that a big cause of their bickering was infrequent sex so I advised her accordingly (more sex). Apparently she didn't listen.
As for talking too much-too loud there's two or three times that she blatantly and publicly disrespected him (if I were in his shoes I'd break up with her but I haven't told him that). I gave her a talk about it but since my friend carried on with the relationship, I let it pass.
My friend is good guy, I see him almost like a brother, but as you have probably noticed he is fairly blue pilled.
During our talk at the train, he complained that my sister didn't go out enough with him (when she is there she prefers to stay in), didn't share his hobbies and that she wasn't there when he returned from work and he had no one to talk about some problems he has there. He also told me that he had arranged for things so that my sister could go live with him, eg. he sent his brother back at their parents' house, bought her a laptop, but she still didn't want to take the big step and instead she criticised the way he kept his place.
I tried to tell him that, even though we're talking about my sister, women in general and girlfriends in particular are not friends with men and that he should consider himself lucky that she gives him space for his hobbies. Most husbands/guys in LTRs I know, including my father, are the exact opposite, they have too little time of their own.
Sex always declines in quantity, the longer a relationship lasts.
As for the problems at work, he has other people to talk to, male friends (me included), his brothers, his father, colleagues etc., the last person he should look for a solution is a girl, even if it is his fiancee.
Apparently it was too much red pill for him to swallow, because since that time we haven't talked (although when I knew they had a fight I always withdrew a little until things cooled down).
I feel for the guy and I can see how he can be fed up with the shit testing (that's my sister's fault) but on the other hand he is complaining about things that happen in almost every long relationship (less sex,the woman criticizing etc) or he is plain wrong (woman as friend). In a way they are both responsible for this, my sister for pushing too hard and my friend for accepting too much.
There are more details of course but enough text wall, time for the questions :
Considering that I want to keep both relationships intact (even if separate) what would you do in my place, take sides in this or keep your distance until things cool off?
Do you have any experience in this kind of situation you can share, eg. what should I expect, is there anything I should avoid?
Thanks in advance.
My sister(25) and my best friend(29) met and got into a relationship about 5 years ago. Three years later they got engaged.
They 've had their ups and downs, fights and all that, and I tried to help them resolve them.
I also tried to be as fair as I could, and many times I took his side against my sister when I thought he was right.
I tried to red pill him but I know how difficult it is when the other guy doesn't want to see things straight, so I didn't push it.
About a week ago we had a barbeque with some friends at my sister's place (actually our father's). Sister and my friend were bickering a little but I didn't pay much attention because it happened quite often. The more I watched however, the more I saw my friend becoming defensive and withdrawn.
We left together and took the train home.
He then told me that he couldn't take it any more, that their engagement was going south, mainly because of the decline in their sex life and because she didn't want to spend more time with him (he had been asking her to permanently move at his place but she only stayed there a couple of nights each week ).
I tried to give him some advice and help him see things from another perspective but he didn't listen much. I went home with a bad feeling but decided not to push things by asking/interfering more, after all they had gone through fights like this before.
So yesterday I'm calling my sister and hear the dreaded news of the break up.
About their characters:
The main problems with my sister are that
a) she shit-tested my friend relentlessly,
b) she sometimes didn't know when to keep her mouth shut and
c) didn't listen to my advice.
On the other hand, she can be very reasonable, certainly more than my friend, and she really loves the guy. She even tells me that she doesn't want him to spent money for her on presents etc. because of his tough financial situation. She is devastated by the turn of events.
I kept telling her that she should quit testing him like that, he proposed the engagement after all, and all she had to do was prove to him that she deserved to be his wife.
I could see that a big cause of their bickering was infrequent sex so I advised her accordingly (more sex). Apparently she didn't listen.
As for talking too much-too loud there's two or three times that she blatantly and publicly disrespected him (if I were in his shoes I'd break up with her but I haven't told him that). I gave her a talk about it but since my friend carried on with the relationship, I let it pass.
My friend is good guy, I see him almost like a brother, but as you have probably noticed he is fairly blue pilled.
During our talk at the train, he complained that my sister didn't go out enough with him (when she is there she prefers to stay in), didn't share his hobbies and that she wasn't there when he returned from work and he had no one to talk about some problems he has there. He also told me that he had arranged for things so that my sister could go live with him, eg. he sent his brother back at their parents' house, bought her a laptop, but she still didn't want to take the big step and instead she criticised the way he kept his place.
I tried to tell him that, even though we're talking about my sister, women in general and girlfriends in particular are not friends with men and that he should consider himself lucky that she gives him space for his hobbies. Most husbands/guys in LTRs I know, including my father, are the exact opposite, they have too little time of their own.
Sex always declines in quantity, the longer a relationship lasts.
As for the problems at work, he has other people to talk to, male friends (me included), his brothers, his father, colleagues etc., the last person he should look for a solution is a girl, even if it is his fiancee.
Apparently it was too much red pill for him to swallow, because since that time we haven't talked (although when I knew they had a fight I always withdrew a little until things cooled down).
I feel for the guy and I can see how he can be fed up with the shit testing (that's my sister's fault) but on the other hand he is complaining about things that happen in almost every long relationship (less sex,the woman criticizing etc) or he is plain wrong (woman as friend). In a way they are both responsible for this, my sister for pushing too hard and my friend for accepting too much.
There are more details of course but enough text wall, time for the questions :
Considering that I want to keep both relationships intact (even if separate) what would you do in my place, take sides in this or keep your distance until things cool off?
Do you have any experience in this kind of situation you can share, eg. what should I expect, is there anything I should avoid?
Thanks in advance.
![[Image: angel.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/angel.gif)
that writes about LTRs and game for married men but on second thought I'll leave for later.
![[Image: biggrin.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
![[Image: evil.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/evil.gif)
![[Image: ?fname=http%3A%2F%2Fcfile8.uf.tistory.co...CA8D306F23]](https://i1.daumcdn.net/thumb//R750x0/?fname=http%3A%2F%2Fcfile8.uf.tistory.com%2Fimage%2F243A763453A6CA8D306F23)
![[Image: IQSK4Qy.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/IQSK4Qy.gif)
![[Image: ai.jpg?w=250&h=250]](https://rationalmale.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/ai.jpg?w=250&h=250)
