[basinskidan]

So I spoke to this girl on a dating app for a bit, and then spoke to her on snapchat. A few days later we spoke again and she said she wanted to see me, so I arranged a time and a place for us to meet in the city.

We walked around and looked in some shops, split a pizza at an Italian restaurant, and sat and talked on a bench together for a bit. About halfway through the date, I said "let's hold hands", and while on the bench, we cuddled a bit and got physical. The date seemed to be going well. She complimented me on how handsome I am, and seemed to like me. I realised I had to get back to the train station to catch my train, so we walked to the train station. At this point she got quiet and at the train station I asked her if she was okay, and she said it was her """""anxiety""""".

Her phone had very low battery, and she needed it to find her way back to the bus stop so she could get home, so I bought her one of those cheap little batteries from a shop in the station.

She waited with me for a bit and nibbled on my hand playfully. My train was about fifteen minutes away, and she left. I said give me a hug and she gave me one of those shit reserved hugs where your chests aren't touching, so I told her to give me a real one. She kissed me on the cheek twice, and then left.

Once I get home, I see I have a message from her on Snapchat. Her message went something like this:

"Hey, I'll give you £10 for that charger you bought me if we meet again. I enjoyed it today, but although it may not have seemed like it, I don't like being treated like shit and didn't appreciate the comments about my spots and body fat. If you talk to everyone like that I can see why you don't have any friends."

All I said was that spots are a result of not drinking enough water, and the things I said about her weight were sarcastic, because she's clearly less fat than me. I made fun of my belly, and when I said I might go bald, she laughed and said bald men should be castrated.

I thought that what she said was retarded so I blocked her. What the fuck do I make out of this? Sorry for the long thread

[RatInTheWoods]

Isn't it scary how she can be all kissy and lovey during the date and then go full psycho the next day?

This is the type of chick who pins a rape case after she has next day sex regret....

Great that you got out of it for a $10 charger.

Keep looking.

[ProGambler]

Most Tinder girls are damaged trash. Forget it.

[Suits]

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

"Hey, I'll give you £10 for that charger you bought me if we meet again. I enjoyed it today, but although it may not have seemed like it, I don't like being treated like shit and didn't appreciate the comments about my spots and body fat. If you talk to everyone like that I can see why you don't have any friends."

[Kona]

Spots?? What did the spots look like?

This has me concerned because:

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

She waited with me for a bit and nibbled on my hand

I don't want you to get the spots. Go update your vaccinations asap.

Have you had measles? That hurts bad.

None the less, don't be discouraged. Women are stupid. Get back on the horse asap.

Aloha!

[LINUX]

Put down the game books and stop "negging" women you like.

Women are emotional creatures led by femininity and impulse and you're a man led by logic and reasoning. Play your part. Play your role. It doesn't matter what she said to you first.

And, one thing that men on the forums get wrong, is they feel the need to prove how smart they are and make the women feel inferior to them so they ramble and bullshit and bark random facts and instructions. What you really should be doing is making her feel like you are inferior and smarter but you're hiding it from her, as to make her not feel like a child in a man's world. You should not be aiming for the complement, "Yeah, you're right." You should be looking for something more along the lines of, "You know, you're really fucking smart, thank you for not making me feel dumb." And then you just nod your head and grab her hand and keeping walking and enjoying the date. This creates comfort and masculine/feminine tension.

Play your role as a masculine man not as a salesman.

You'll get it eventually. It's a learning process.

[Kangaroo]

Did you invite her back to yours? Could have said "lets go back to mine you can charge your phone there."

[Repo]

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

About halfway through the date, I said "let's hold hands", and while on the bench, we cuddled

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

She waited with me for a bit and nibbled on my hand playfully.

Strange girl, but really no more strange than your behavior.

[Synezthetic]

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

All I said was that spots are a result of not drinking enough water, and the things I said about her weight were sarcastic, because she's clearly less fat than me. I made fun of my belly, and when I said I might go bald, she laughed and said bald men should be castrated.

[Captain Gh]

Keep hanging around here and devour the Gaming thread to get better! Linux got it right since your Game is wayyy to mechanical at the moment. You're thinking of what you'll say next instead of just feeling it. Read up on how to create attraction. And please lay off the David D cocky funny. It can only carry you for so long until the chicks sees you as a mean A$$ole, and not a smooth one like Linux pointed out! It's probably dead... but try to salvage it anyway. Good batting practice!

[not_dead_yet]

In case it's not already clear. TL; DR - dial it back and next. She sounds a little kooky anyway.

[YoungBlade]

(08-22-2017 08:17 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Spots?? What did the spots look like?

This has me concerned because:

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

She waited with me for a bit and nibbled on my hand

I don't want you to get the spots. Go update your vaccinations asap.

Have you had measles? That hurts bad.

None the less, don't be discouraged. Women are stupid. Get back on the horse asap.

Aloha!

Spots = UK for pimples

[germanico]

How did you expected it to go?

This is a newb problem. Get more experience until you realize by yourself what you did wrong and why it doesnt matters at all. Then you will be able to say you gamed. This was not game.

[Mig Picante]

For your first real date it's fine. You made out with a chick, that's good. You had a good time, sounds like it was fun up until the train part even if it was a bit mechanical and you stood up for what you didn't like (getting shit hugs and shit messages).

It's a starting point and you can build from there.

Don't ask to hold hands in future. Just do it when you think it's right and learn to read. You'll use this over and over again.

[Sidney Crosby]

Next.

Pass go and don't collect 10£

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

She's retarded, but you really fanned the flames with what appears to be awkward attempts at negging.

That said, you did get a makeout so you should be happy. Not bad for a total beginner. Just move on to other girls and chalk this one up as a necessary learning loss.

[Turnus]

You asked her if you could hold her hand?

[basinskidan]

(08-24-2017 02:57 PM)Turnus Wrote:  

You asked her if you could hold her hand?

No, I just told her to hold my hand.

[christpuncher]

Negging about core physical features is dicey territory. Fatness, skin, eyes, smile, breasts... No good can come from suble digs or backhanded complements about these things. Especially for regular girls (5-7s), she will resent you bringing it up.

If you must neg, stick to lighter subjects like the colour of her pants, her dancing, her taste in drink/food, . The point is that it's not supposed to be true, and picking on genuine deficiencies isn't fun, flirty, creative or savvy. Even the most perfect 10/10 is worried about fatness and skin blemishes. Those two are essentially off limits.

[Beyond Borders]

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

About halfway through the date, I said "let's hold hands", and while on the bench, we cuddled a bit and got physical.

Side note. Don't say stuff like this - just hold her hand. Talking through it reveals your anxiety and signals to her that you were doubting what you already knew, which is that it had progressed to the stage of getting physical. That's a real turn-off for women.

Next time trust your own instinct and just take her hand. You'll get better at taking charge and leading the more dates you go on.

Quote:

She waited with me for a bit and nibbled on my hand playfully.

Nibbling on your hand? Sounds a bit like she wanted to get fucked. lol

Quote:

Once I get home, I see I have a message from her on Snapchat. Her message went something like this:

"Hey, I'll give you £10 for that charger you bought me if we meet again. I enjoyed it today, but although it may not have seemed like it, I don't like being treated like shit and didn't appreciate the comments about my spots and body fat. If you talk to everyone like that I can see why you don't have any friends."

You sort of threw us a haymaker here in your buildup. You didn't mention any of this in your date description.

Other than the disrespectful last sentence, though, this message isn't as bad as it looks. She's hinted that she's not against meeting again and even throws out paying you back for the charger as an excuse to see you.

Seems like she's leaving the door open, and my gut says that if you really want to nail this broad, it's still salvageable - blocking her may have been an overreaction unless you really just don't want to clean this mess up.

Also, what's with the part about "I can see why you don't have any friends."? Are you telling women that you don't have any friends??? Where did that come from?

It's a strange comment but it also suggests there was a lot more to this situation than you've laid out for us.

In any case, if you want to salvage this, respond to the rest but ignore that last personal jab. It's just her being emotional and vindictive and doesn't really mean much in the big scheme of things unless you acknowledge and blow it up.

I'd smooth things over a bit and then get playful about her paying you back for the charger. Tease her lightly about it as grounds for a second meetup, brush off the money when you meet and instead say she can repay you by buying the first round. Escalate from there like nothing ever happened.

Quote:

All I said was that spots are a result of not drinking enough water, and the things I said about her weight were sarcastic, because she's clearly less fat than me.

On what planet is a woman's weight fair grounds for "negging"?

Quote:

I thought that what she said was retarded so I blocked her. What the fuck do I make out of this? Sorry for the long thread

Why did you block her? Are you upset? It seems like her comment about no friends hit you because it was so personal, but again, why in the world did you tell her something like that in the first place?

If you really don't have any friends, that might be why you're stumbling across getting along with a girl who obviously started out liking you. Other than just getting out there, learning from the mistakes, and trying with the next one, I'd also suggest developing some friendships with other men to round out your social skills.

Even when women test you by insulting you first, sometimes no response is the best response - don't feel like you need to "win" every back and forth, especially early on. Being unfazed is sometimes as masculine as it gets.

If you can't come up with a clever way to tease them that doesn't outright insult them, at the very least avoid getting over-reactive and lashing out. It sounds like you guys got caught in a situation where you were trying to one up each other with disinterested insults.

Not exactly a sexy dynamic to fall into.

This girl sounds pretty young and immature, but to be fair, your behavior comes across that way too. If you don't have a ton of other options right now and she doesn't try to put you through the ringer too much on smoothing it over, might as well try to salvage the bang.

[basinskidan]

(08-28-2017 06:38 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(08-22-2017 06:12 PM)basinskidan Wrote:  

About halfway through the date, I said "let's hold hands", and while on the bench, we cuddled a bit and got physical.

Side note. Don't say stuff like this - just hold her hand. Talking through it reveals your anxiety and signals to her that you were doubting what you already knew, which is that it had progressed to the stage of getting physical. That's a real turn-off for women.

Next time trust your own instinct and just take her hand. You'll get better at taking charge and leading the more dates you go on.

Quote:

She waited with me for a bit and nibbled on my hand playfully.

Nibbling on your hand? Sounds a bit like she wanted to get fucked. lol

Quote:

Once I get home, I see I have a message from her on Snapchat. Her message went something like this:

"Hey, I'll give you £10 for that charger you bought me if we meet again. I enjoyed it today, but although it may not have seemed like it, I don't like being treated like shit and didn't appreciate the comments about my spots and body fat. If you talk to everyone like that I can see why you don't have any friends."

You sort of threw us a haymaker here in your buildup. You didn't mention any of this in your date description.

Other than the disrespectful last sentence, though, this message isn't as bad as it looks. She's hinted that she's not against meeting again and even throws out paying you back for the charger as an excuse to see you.

Seems like she's leaving the door open, and my gut says that if you really want to nail this broad, it's still salvageable - blocking her may have been an overreaction unless you really just don't want to clean this mess up.

Also, what's with the part about "I can see why you don't have any friends."? Are you telling women that you don't have any friends??? Where did that come from?

It's a strange comment but it also suggests there was a lot more to this situation than you've laid out for us.

In any case, if you want to salvage this, respond to the rest but ignore that last personal jab. It's just her being emotional and vindictive and doesn't really mean much in the big scheme of things unless you acknowledge and blow it up.

I'd smooth things over a bit and then get playful about her paying you back for the charger. Tease her lightly about it as grounds for a second meetup, brush off the money when you meet and instead say she can repay you by buying the first round. Escalate from there like nothing ever happened.

Quote:

All I said was that spots are a result of not drinking enough water, and the things I said about her weight were sarcastic, because she's clearly less fat than me.

On what planet is a woman's weight fair grounds for "negging"?

Quote:

I thought that what she said was retarded so I blocked her. What the fuck do I make out of this? Sorry for the long thread

Why did you block her? Are you upset? It seems like her comment about no friends hit you because it was so personal, but again, why in the world did you tell her something like that in the first place?

If you really don't have any friends, that might be why you're stumbling across getting along with a girl who obviously started out liking you. Other than just getting out there, learning from the mistakes, and trying with the next one, I'd also suggest developing some friendships with other men to round out your social skills.

Even when women test you by insulting you first, sometimes no response is the best response - don't feel like you need to "win" every back and forth, especially early on. Being unfazed is sometimes as masculine as it gets.

If you can't come up with a clever way to tease them that doesn't outright insult them, at the very least avoid getting over-reactive and lashing out. It sounds like you guys got caught in a situation where you were trying to one up each other with disinterested insults.

Not exactly a sexy dynamic to fall into.

This girl sounds pretty young and immature, but to be fair, your behavior comes across that way too. If you don't have a ton of other options right now and she doesn't try to put you through the ringer too much on smoothing it over, might as well try to salvage the bang.

Thanks for taking the time to write this - it's helpful.

She told me to tell her about my friends and my noob gut instinct was to just be honest, so I told her I don't have any. I'm meeting another girl next weekend, and I'll make it go better for sure.

[Jetset]

(08-29-2017 11:03 AM)basinskidan Wrote:  

She told me to tell her about my friends and my noob gut instinct was to just be honest, so I told her I don't have any.

The savageness of it all. I read this in the voice of Milhouse from The Simpsons.

You'll be OK. You learned something important.

[Sonoma]

I'd wait a day on any response.

She probably told a friend about the date, was insecure about the neg, and then her friend told her to tell you to fuck off.

It's hard to come back on that kind of text. I'd argue just leaving it be until she messages you again.

The fact that you're more overweight than she is, plus balding, isn't great for the chances though