night, 2 number closes, an attempt at a brief comparative analysis
09-05-2011, 11:39 AM
Last evening I was on the train and I made an approach in order to warm up before meeting a friend at a bar in the Bowery. I approached with some question about directions, we got into talking about Latin America. Since she was only in the city for a few weeks in order to make some cash and split back to Buenos Aires, which produced a slight emotional reaction on my part, (which she noticed) due to the fact that my former lover is an Argentine. I quickly stifled the reaction and we talked about capoeira and samba, which she wants to try in order to stay in shape for her modeling gig and we talked tango as well which I want to try. But I revealed that my ex was Argentinean since she noticed my surprised reaction. She asked me how that went. I told her it was thrilling…and painful, and I told her that she already knew what I was talking about as she nodded. We exited the train and walked together before I caught my transfer. She wrote down her name and number for me and said something about connecting on Facebook. Which I’ve done. I added her as a friend and sent her a message telling her that it was a pleasure to meet her and I attached a link to the capoeira school I train with. My plan at the moment is to hold back for a moment, she if she replies on facebook before calling her and inviting her to go out and dance. Is that a solid plan?
The second number close happened at the bar where I met up with an alpha friend, B who I should probably note has no formal training in pick up. We were talking amongst ourselves, mostly about semi serious stuff, politics, tech, a bit of work since we we’re colleagues at the same agency before he opened a woman named J sitting next to him. As per usual he did most of the talking, I would enter in and briefly get her attention, however she would usually respond to B’s questions over mine. I would turn my attention away trying to look board, which wasn’t difficult to do every time this happened and then renter the conversation if she or he would make eye contact with me or say something that was interesting. B wasn’t in his usual mode or girl getting mood. He often DLV’d himself by telling her he had a drinking problem, telling her he was getting older and comfortable with the fact that his band would never be a huge success and talking about work a bit too much. I took advantage of when he left to smoke a cigarette, by pulling my bar stool closer to her and closing the physical and conversational gap between us. I tried to focus on establishing a meaningful connection with her fondness for gory-ass slasher movies, she was a nurse at a really private expensive hospital and talked about actual blood and gore. B came back over, reentered the convo and eventually conceded to me by moving to the other side of J and opening her bored/boring beta girlfriend who was glued to her mobile device. The night ended with them leaving to go dancing. I had challenged J to an impromptu break dancing competition earlier in the conversation, and I somehow parlayed that into exchanging numbers with her in order to possibly meet up if she found a good dance scene right in front of B, somewhat to his chagrin I might add but he was cool and I pointed out I’ve often conceded to him in the past. For some reason however I’m left with the suspicion that she may have given me her number in order or in part to irk him. I also made a joke about her changing the last digit in her number in order to try and trick me, but she called me right back and told me I should record her name in my phone as “J…I know her trick”. I don’t think the joke quite worked out the way I wanted it to in hindsight. At the time I also thought it would be a good move to go direct and text her right away, I thanked her for an unusually interesting conversation and politely told her to text me if she found somewhere to dance. She never got back to me, and B and I agreed she probably wouldn’t.
So my questions are…
What went right with my first close? Was Facbook friend requesting and messenging her a better idea than calling or texting?
What went wrong with the number close in the second scene? How could I have managed the interaction better?
Best,
Scud
The second number close happened at the bar where I met up with an alpha friend, B who I should probably note has no formal training in pick up. We were talking amongst ourselves, mostly about semi serious stuff, politics, tech, a bit of work since we we’re colleagues at the same agency before he opened a woman named J sitting next to him. As per usual he did most of the talking, I would enter in and briefly get her attention, however she would usually respond to B’s questions over mine. I would turn my attention away trying to look board, which wasn’t difficult to do every time this happened and then renter the conversation if she or he would make eye contact with me or say something that was interesting. B wasn’t in his usual mode or girl getting mood. He often DLV’d himself by telling her he had a drinking problem, telling her he was getting older and comfortable with the fact that his band would never be a huge success and talking about work a bit too much. I took advantage of when he left to smoke a cigarette, by pulling my bar stool closer to her and closing the physical and conversational gap between us. I tried to focus on establishing a meaningful connection with her fondness for gory-ass slasher movies, she was a nurse at a really private expensive hospital and talked about actual blood and gore. B came back over, reentered the convo and eventually conceded to me by moving to the other side of J and opening her bored/boring beta girlfriend who was glued to her mobile device. The night ended with them leaving to go dancing. I had challenged J to an impromptu break dancing competition earlier in the conversation, and I somehow parlayed that into exchanging numbers with her in order to possibly meet up if she found a good dance scene right in front of B, somewhat to his chagrin I might add but he was cool and I pointed out I’ve often conceded to him in the past. For some reason however I’m left with the suspicion that she may have given me her number in order or in part to irk him. I also made a joke about her changing the last digit in her number in order to try and trick me, but she called me right back and told me I should record her name in my phone as “J…I know her trick”. I don’t think the joke quite worked out the way I wanted it to in hindsight. At the time I also thought it would be a good move to go direct and text her right away, I thanked her for an unusually interesting conversation and politely told her to text me if she found somewhere to dance. She never got back to me, and B and I agreed she probably wouldn’t.
So my questions are…
What went right with my first close? Was Facbook friend requesting and messenging her a better idea than calling or texting?
What went wrong with the number close in the second scene? How could I have managed the interaction better?
Best,
Scud
