[Nick98]

I've searched for a thread describing this phrase, But didn't come across any.
Anyway guys I've been willing to approach lately but I come across this worrying thought , about the location where to pick , So I'm going to give you some locations and I want you to tell me wether to approach or not and for how long.
1-The uni I will be attending this year (freshman) , Am taking a placement test this week.
2-The most popular mall in my city (chance to come across someone I know 1/5) , 5 Floors And for How long (time) Should i keep approaching in each floor.
3-A street where I come across a target , each 20 mins. (been there lately, didn't approach)
4-A Small club I'm member in, the members are locked in forever , Sometimes i go to hit the gym. (For how long i should be approaching)
This is a situation which i want your thoughts in anyway ( not related to approaching)
My younger cousin(girl) got a couple of friends , 7's , 8's. one of the finest girls in town actually I don't come across those ones in my social circle. Should I push the ropes to meet these girls. Right now I've 0 game. And I'm afraid to fuck it up completly , Should I wait till i self improve myself (I need a lot of work) , And then push the ropes to meet these girls ? , or should i meet them anyway (Considering Im a BETA), These girls are her lifetime friends , So i know they'll always be there if i came to meet them later. It happened that i met them 1 year ago , Awful day for sure they complained about me being 'too quiet' , one of the girl was into me a 7.5 lots of lOl's but I didn't give her a smile atleast (fuckin awful day),Errr.
What do you guys think anyway ? , Any advice will be apperciated.

[General Stalin]

I wouldn't recommend trying to bang girls you work with, live with, or go to the gym with. Basically any place where you are stuck with the same people all the time and if something doesn't workout or gets sour/awkward then you will have to deal with seeing that person constantly regardless.

College - yes
Mall - yes
Street - yes
Club - yes (small club where you are a member? Not sure what you mean but if its a gym/place where you are always around the same girls then maybe not the best)
Cousin's female friends - yes

That said, if you are looking for a girlfriend and not just a girl to smash and dash on, then you can approach anywhere.

[Distant Light]

Don't "game" BE a social/fun dude...

Let WHO YOU ARE do the rest of work. Only competency is navigating logistics.

Reason being TRYING leads to formalities, expectations & society norms. People have assumptions to HOOKUP they gotta...
- Go on dates
- Try to Connect/Rapport
- Try to win her over aka "convince her"
- Not allowed to BE a certain way (because it goes against the norm

People knew me as the purely fun guy always going on adventures. All traditional BS are out the door with me. As a result, within different networks it was common & potentially possible to mess around with who ever, even if they were close friends

Lots of FREEDOM and no DOWNSIDES...

As you transcend the DOGMAS of society. So what's OK for YOU is vastly different to society norms. This is how in one social circle 12 of 14-15 girls I've atleast madeout with.

Everyone knew I was sexually active, I was just very vague as the details didn't matter to anyone but girls & I.

This lead to messing around with best friends (some who knew) and chicks bringing their friends for sake of them meeting/flirting with me.

To everyone I'm just a social person as it's true. My initial reasons for meeting people aren't ME TRYING TO FUCK.

Stems from potential curiousity, which unfolded into something potentially happening. Gave no promises as thinga were always subject to change, even if we'd concluded 100% "were fucking tn".

Beyond that the connections & shared experiences overall held alot of weight...

Because keep in mind "social circles" aren't even the bulk of how my sex life survived...It's merely a side effect & bonus...
- If I wanted to just show up and select a chick
- If I wanted to have a group shared experience without having to physically generate it
- If I wanted to increase odds of others getting laid (girls or guys...Have got both laid)

Social circles MAIN POINT aren't to just have sexual experiences...That's just a side effect of you being AWESOME.

Most people think of me as the social circlr "lifestyle" guy...If I didn't know how to "socialize" aka cold approach majority of my experiences would've never occured..

The beauty of "shitting where you eat" is that YOUR SHIT IS AWESOME...Imagine some 100k city where you are THAT GUY. Most people love you...

This spills over to girls, they're not retarded animals. Chicks are super observant...

In your case BE A SOCIAL GUY...

Don't apologize for being that way, you are inherently more free than everyone else stuck in their shitty social boxes.

Also COLD APPROACH is a good benchmark to see how people view you in general...
- Your friends
- Your girls
- Your family

Are all bias to you, you won't learn as much as interacting with someone COLD. However, views of strangers in general carried over to...
- Acquittances
- Social Circles
- Connectors

Is INSANE, because if strangers in general love you, all lives you touch will be positive for the most part. Only people who miss the boat are ones who are unaware or simply DO NOT MESH.

If strangers are crushing you hard...Then what's to fear "shittinf where you eat"? Scared of the world liking you?

My dumbass FUCKED UP because I started slowing down cold approach once things got overwhelming. Most men never know what feeling like a rag doll is like. 20 people in a club all vying for your attention for glorious interactions...Thia is prob how celebs feel with strangers who feel like they know them just becsuse they're fans of their works...

Being fascinatinf & being a celeb is similar effects YET different currencies. That actor is known for great films...That fascinating guy is known to influence people's social experoences.

One is more personal and valuable.

OP is a byproduct of not coming into your own with your consciousness. Instead you think YOU are an annoyance/pest who is doing something inherently BAD.

So what if you want to be social & fuck the worle shamelessly? You will have a better quality life than those stuck in their drama & shit. All they can do is spectate & judge from afar.

What is lost by some chick not wanting to align with you because she seen you meet 5-10 new people?

NOTHING...

She hung up in her own belief traps is LIMITED in life experience...While your life continues to become more enrichening.

It's insanity that this community isn't more FEARLESS nor realize their potential...

I can tell you right now past 3 years COMES NOWHERE NEAR the level of enjoyment, growth, experiences & lessons. And it's negatively effecting me via STRESS

We are generally interacting with people who have zero control of their social/sex life. Even the hottest chick is LIMITED I do not care if they have millions of IG followers, a full set of facebook friends, etc.

There life consists of dealing with men TRYING TO FUCK and people scheming them. It's an annoyance/distraction...

You the average man, no fame, living in THIS SOCIETY. Can be a low key BEACON for something greater which is what every chick strives to be aligned too.

A life of cool stats is just that...STATS...

Majority of the world live a BORING & CONSTRAINED LIFE...

Most will never experience the HIGH that fueled within 24/7 and the pure happiness of a life well lived without the drama.

Whether it's jobs, relationships, school, etc...Most people are just dealing with petty BS and dynamics all their lives until they're dead.

Rare someone is WOKE ENOUGH to think "I'm gonna change my life experiences and the platforms for growth".

Instead MOST hide in social boxes of school, work, social circles, etc. You never see how SAD & LAME it all is until you step back and look at the different life experiences.

[Nick98]

Thanks for the SOLID post , will try to break into everything you have said Soon.

[Nick98]

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

Don't "game" BE a social/fun dude...

Let WHO YOU ARE do the rest of work. Only competency is navigating logistics.

Believe me, I was there years ago. I was the most loved funny social guy in the place I was in. But sometimes being yourself doesn't work. You are talking from your own vision, And a big result came from being yourself , But thats not how all the people succeeded ,sometimes you have to put some rules and don't go with the flow.Your speech is more like an observation for who you are but not all the people are like you. And the social fun dudes you talk about that have the rights to do whatever they want get all the chicks are just the minority. Don't get me wrong, I believe in what you say anyway wining the people is the biggest boost you can give to yourself but not all the people will get the same result that you have got with women. It's just You and not everyone else, its the minority.

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

People knew me as the purely fun guy always going on adventures. All traditional BS are out the door with me. As a result, within different networks it was common & potentially possible to mess around with who ever, even if they were close friends

Lots of FREEDOM and no DOWNSIDES...

Again, It's you.

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

As you transcend the DOGMAS of society. So what's OK for YOU is vastly different to society norms. This is how in one social circle 12 of 14-15 girls I've atleast madeout with.

Everyone knew I was sexually active, I was just very vague as the details didn't matter to anyone but girls & I.

This lead to messing around with best friends (some who knew) and chicks bringing their friends for sake of them meeting/flirting with me.

To everyone I'm just a social person as it's true. My initial reasons for meeting people aren't ME TRYING TO FUCK.

You're a social person who've got good results, But i dont think that all the social people out there have got the same result like you.

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

Stems from potential curiousity, which unfolded into something potentially happening. Gave no promises as thinga were always subject to change, even if we'd concluded 100% "were fucking tn".

Beyond that the connections & shared experiences overall held alot of weight...

True, For someone like you who have been gifted a good position in life early on , that carried you through lots of things , motivated you to do more things and it became easier for you. Again, Not everyone has went through the same thing that you have gone through.

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

Social circles MAIN POINT aren't to just have sexual experiences...That's just a side effect of you being AWESOME.

Most people think of me as the social circlr "lifestyle" guy...If I didn't know how to "socialize" aka cold approach majority of my experiences would've never occured..

The beauty of "shitting where you eat" is that YOUR SHIT IS AWESOME...Imagine some 100k city where you are THAT GUY. Most people love you...

'Believe me , I was there but things changed" , All the people outside have passed through more experiences and by far way better than me. The only thing that they never do is cold approaching. And I believe since i am the only one who's gonna do that. That's going to be my weapon to become awesome in something else . Sill believe that socializing and experiences are some deadly weapons to carry you through life , But Im still working on that thing as its something Im 0 in since the begining. But I have to say I have to try everything approaching in normal and social circles (attending events, tryin to meet new ppl etc) But i still lack the motivation to do so.
This spills over to girls, they're not retarded animals. Chicks are super observant...

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

In your case BE A SOCIAL GUY...

This is something I put in my mind and Im glad you mentioned it.

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

Don't apologize for being that way, you are inherently more free than everyone else stuck in their shitty social boxes.

I've actually took 3 steps back , Became a loner(without losing my social circle completly) but become a different person than them, I want to connect with more people but I still needs a work on myseld and as I mentioned before I lack motivation a lot Im an inspired person by nature But the worst thing about me is executing , and working on myself .

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

Also COLD APPROACH is a good benchmark to see how people view you in general...
- Your friends
- Your girls
- Your family

Im sure it is.

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

Is INSANE, because if strangers in general love you, all lives you touch will be positive for the most part. Only people who miss the boat are ones who are unaware or simply DO NOT MESH.

If strangers are crushing you hard...Then what's to fear "shittinf where you eat"? Scared of the world liking you?

True

(07-31-2017 06:33 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

OP is a byproduct of not coming into your own with your consciousness. Instead you think YOU are an annoyance/pest who is doing something inherently BAD.

Don't understand this part.And don't know what Op stands for.

I agree with the rest of what you've said. Overall Great post. And im glad you posted Because those are my internal beliefs, And the thoughts that's been gettin me lately.
I like your current vision on how things going and your consciousness, Its like your are watching how things are going from above the and looking at the crowds downside.One should truly believe in your words. But again , that said but not everyone is going to get the same result. You've been known as the social fun guy. but not all the social people are known as that, Like i said the true guys with charisma are only a minority. Excellent post anyway. Sharing more advices is apperciated. Specially in a strong form like that.

[Nick98]

Deleted.

[rapaz12]

(07-31-2017 02:17 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

That said, if you are looking for a girlfriend and not just a girl to smash and dash on, then you can approach anywhere.

Wait. So you're saying it's ok to game at work if you're looking for something longer term?

[Mig Picante]

"4-A Small club I'm member in, the members are locked in forever , "
Don't approach women here while you describe yourself as the following "Right now I've 0 game. ... Should I wait till i self improve myself (I need a lot of work) "
The repercussions and long-term reputational damage that you could sustain far outweigh the short-term benefits.

Since you've described yourself as having little to no social experience, it's definitely an area for development as you're probably going to stuff up a lot at the start of your journey.The good news is that you seem to have a reasonable level of self-awareness!

I think you should practice meeting new people and approaching elsewhere to get some experience before meeting your cousins friends.
Don't try to game them, just be fun to be around and have a good time.

[General Stalin]

(08-01-2017 05:44 AM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

(07-31-2017 02:17 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

That said, if you are looking for a girlfriend and not just a girl to smash and dash on, then you can approach anywhere.

Wait. So you're saying it's ok to game at work if you're looking for something longer term?

Yes. In fact most older guys I've talked to met their wives at work. The trouble is in trying to casually hookup with girls you work with. If/when things go sour (one of you gets tired of banging the other one or there is a "what are we" convo) then things get weird and it's impossible to ghost/eject because you see each other everyday. Makes it difficult to just get on with life. In worse cases the girl can make your life a living hell.

[XXL]

If you are in crash and burn stage now then focus on just being social with people in general and network. This way you will probably not mess it up. By social I mean just open and flirty.

You should meet friends of that girl but NEVER EVER hit on any of them.

In more anonymous places you cam try some actual approaches but you better be cool and calm and play long term game. Do not hit on girls yet. You need to gain more basic social intuition and social skills.

I'd recommend just playing slow game. Boiling frog slowly kind of thing. Be social. Network. Attend parties. Get introduced. Then be the one introducing people to each other. Meet guys to hang out with. Build your social brand there. This way tou will get attention of girls for sure and tou will have so called social capital to "spend" on gaming them.

The last thing you want to do is to go too hard too fast and get a bad rep for being that guy.

[Distant Light]

Sorry for all the typos in initial post, was typing from cell phone...

Rebuttal Times...

@nick98 When I say "Be Yourself", I don't mean that pseudo BS people say of just "interacting" letting the chips fall where you may. This is because 99% of people DO NOT KNOW THEMSELVES. Unless you can pinpoint the past experiences that yielded...
- This WAY OF BEING I highly enjoy
- This WAY OF BEING provides more favorable experiences
- This WAY OF BEING has proven to be BETTER than "states of being" I had in the past
- This WAY OF BEING I personally explored

Game, is essentially self-discovery...

So when BEING YOURSELF, you're essentially BEING the way you most enjoy being, that was deemed most profitable based on past experiences & nudges/influences favorable experiences. (Continually being a certain way builds depth as you gain more experiences)

So for instance say a guy wants to "have fun within an interaction socially"...There corresponding EXPRESSION or "what they do" might be...
- Guy A might've discovered he loves storytelling
- Guy B might also love storytelling BUT enjoys specifically telling long exciting stories that he or friends experienced
- Guy C might hate talking so instead likes to ask questions and do MOCKERY Cold Reads
- Guy D might be naturally funny so he expresses his form of humor and disregards exploring any storytelling or cold reading
- Guy E might love risk & reward...So he's constantly challenging chicks and "making bets" all for the sake of fun

All different expressions SAME intention of having fun within an interaction...

Where community goes wrong is they read something from someone else who has an affinity for expressing 1 way AND thinks WHAT HE IS DOING is the important thing to learn. Really it's just an expression or reflection of their INTERNAL STATE which is the source. He might know HE enjoys expressing himself that way BUT doesn't mean YOU or someone else would enjoy expressing in such manner at that level.

Kind of like MUSIC and so called "dancefloor game", I never give advise to START DANCING because I know for me music hits me on what would seem to be a mystical level for others. I could not describe to you what I feel when enjoyable music hits me and I start acting like a "slave to the music". Byproduct is in the past experimenting upwards to 90%+ women would be down for fooling around, it's to the point that it's so consistent that I actually NO LONGER mess with women (even prior to gf) through dancing because it's not my intention to indulge in the music to fool around with women...Almost comes off as a distraction.

Nonetheless from a "game" perspective if I direct my focus, I'd ALWAYS be messing with women from dancing...

DISCLAIMER...I am by no means NATURAL, I explored ALOT and found the states of being that worked for me. However a mixture of social/sexual experiences mixed in with many years of exploring consciousness I started to look towards expanding my awareness and using social/sexual realms as the platform for experiences as it's FREE and UNDERRATED. (This universe is built purely for interaction, learning and growth) All in all, what you deem as "just me" is actually the me I self-discovered and grown into while on my own journey.

(To paint a picture...When I was in my teens I barely said a word as I thought fluff & wordy chatting was retarded. Someone should speak efficiently and clearly with nothing beyond that. So yes, no, don't care, ok...Were the common words. I remember ending of freshman year in HS 2 girls were SHOCKED that they finally heard me speak for the 1st time. Yep, it was THAT BAD!!!)

Reading along...
- The bulk of my massive change in perspective derives from 2011-2013...Honestly, I've regressed immensely due to being in monogamy and limiting both social/sexual experiences. I probably evolved immensely about every 4-6 months due to social outings. Contrast to past 2.5 years I've not invited a single new person out.

- Lack of motivation stems from not knowing what you want your lifestyle to be...2011 I had the intention of breaking into the high end scene for both music purposes (back when EDM was big) and above average women. This quickly was substituted by the level of fun "Shared" experiences and realizing I'm doing the world a service by BEING HOW I'M BEING...Chicks fly in, I'd take them out...New girls randomly met I'd take em out...Friend has friends in town, take them out...I was people's fast-track to GOODTIMES in a realm that they probably wouldn't have had access or awareness of had they not met me.

You = The Currency

As you grow, you'll become sort of a light that people gravitate towards because there is alot to learn from simply observing you. Remember most people are riddle with fear/ego so when they see someone fearless just being without fear of judgment you come off as the FOCAL POINT who is indifferent about so many "eyeballs" on you.

Again...The only DIFFERENCE is like a newbie golfer watching a pro golfer is the fact that newbie lacks competency and experience. HOWEVER, everyone has started at some point and had to grow so the "not possible" is just an excuse...go explore.

I remember way back on RSD guys were trying to call BS because I started to realize how easy "getting laid everyday"would be BUT majority of the world would not be interested in actually doing such a thing because of all the other BENEFITS of living an ideal lifestyle. However, things I didn't know (as I was exploring) that simply UNFOLDED...
- One week went home with 6 different girls, in 6 days within the week (Keep in mind, I live with parents so probability jumps sharply if have my own place)
- For about 1-2 months, due to how my lifestyle was...1 to 3 women EVERYDAY were hitting me up...Irony this was around the time I slowed down on cold approaching even more (This actually took over a year for me to STOP getting messages)
- Social Circles...Whether new girls who are just there, female friends bringing their friends to meet me or girls I knew who I brought out and fooled around with...The options and potential to have sex was ALWAYS IN MY FACE
- At my PEAK, I always tried my best NEVER TO BE ISOLATED because it always meant the possibility of fooling around with a chick. (I'd have times when I'd roll to club with 4-5 gals and walking to the table...Random chick will stop me, one in particular was unbuttoning my shirt and without thought I'm responding "haha...yooo I legit just walked in, give me a minute to take my friends to the table over there"
- 3somes & Orgies aren't this elusive thing...While back then was of no interest, I was sorta forced through a friend to HOST SEX PARTIES which was cut short. However, I was meeting lots of women for the sake of coming to the sex parties. If the stereotype is older unattractive slightly overweight women is the common demographic THEN it's far off in terms of POTENTIAL...One stunning chick in particular who used to date some musician celebrity was SO PUMPED that when she was with her fiancee friend she was telling him "hold on!!!" as she wanted to hear more about my ideas. Then I later ran into them drunk she's infront of her fiancee ABOUT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

In essence, I was living in a whole different perspective than the norm. All this was direct reflection of GROWING UP...

Even pre-2011 if you asked me about all of above, it wasn't in my awareness as I was still an RSD influenced "Junkie" and before then I was far from what people would call "attractive to women". If I never went down this road at all...I'd prob have some unattractive fat baby mother living some boring ass "waiting to die" lifestyle. Also I would've NEVER been a social person.

P.S...OP = Original Post/er...What I meant was anyone who is FEARFUL of their REP in a small venue, college, city, event etc...They're inherently assuming what they're doing is WRONG or NEGATIVE. Guys are scared of running into the same girls because they FEAR it will have negative effects. I remember in my RSD days doing daygame, I ran into a guy who TRAVELED TO TORONTO just to daygame as he feared daygaming in his own city. It's absurd looking back. Anyone who teaches "burning venues to the ground" and all of this gungho DONT GIVE A FUCK MENTALITY are generally coming from the wrong place. You can be a highly social person (Met about 60 people in the daytime in span of 3-4 hours) hitting mass volumes from a much better perspective, where you aren't essentially pestering or having negative effects on people...At the WORST, most new guys would be experiencing neutral experiences BUT PUA/Community sometimes teach some ridiculous shit leading to people saying/doing/acting in some fucked up ways as if that will help em grow. They might become more fearless BUT at the expense of purposely providing bad experiences...In short, a person who UNDERSTANDS HE HAS GOOD INTENTIONS focused on giving to others wouldn't ever worry about his REP as he knows everything he's doing is for good/others and not some self-indulgent "all about I" mentality. Community creates some weird reactions in terms of guys fixated on dick in puss so they can count another notch OR "in the moment" thinking about posting their report on their fav forum, local fb group, etc.

[JayD]

@DistantLight - Good to have you back brother. By the way what happened with your blog, wanted to read up a few articles from your earlier days.

Do you still prescribe to the 70 day going out challenge? I may start that soon, but it will be tough with other shit going on. Thanks for you posts man.

[dknightbro]

Am I hitting upon a "that guy" game?

It probably takes a certain criteria to pull this off, but I do RSD-style like approaches sometimes and get blatant "blowouts" but it doesn't really affect me and I'm opening the next set a few seconds later.

I do get glances and even when people start murmuring I DGAF. The thing is, I'm direct in my approaches. "You're cute and I'd like to get to know you better." I either can proceed from there or get high resistance / blown out.

I've gotten positive responses from cold approaches & negative responses from warm approaches that I don't even bother with screening anymore. Some of the girls with the nastiest expressions on their face + listening to headphones did a complete 180 when I opened. Whereas a girl who gave me extended eye contact threw me a face full of sarcasm when I opened.

I workout & look fit and go strong towards the edgy style so I give off a badboy vibe (no polo's). I feel congruent with this & I've opened girls with their bfs or even husbands, but I give them a nice compliment once I establish the relationship and then move on.

I think if you want to pull off "that guy" game you need to embrace the player / badboy vibe. That's just who you are. And you legit have to NGAF if people start calling you out. My inner game is strong enough I don't care about rejections from men + women alike. I can pump my mood up internally without relying on positive feedback from others.

Bear in mind I came to this point from a complete newbie who was insecure & shy around women. So you CAN change yourself, but it takes a lot of self-dev work. So you can play close circle game, but your inner game needs to be so strong you legit DGAF about the consequences. Then, things might even turn out in your favor.