[Rhyme or Reason]

Table of Contents

Intro

Employment Paths

Types of Drinking Establishments

The Tools of the Trade

Tips



I've seen at least a few ROK articles talk about being a bartender is a great way to "insert yourself into an environment populated by horny peak fertility window r-selected females" or some such. Unless you're a hot chick, there is a ZERO percent chance that you will be hired as a bartender with no experience at a bar that you can make money at unless you are well connected.


The objective is to get a job at a legit establishment.


There is money to be made there and lots to learn and fun to be had.

If you're interested in becoming a bartender, your first step would be to delve into different types of alcohols and learn about cocktails on your own time. Become interested in liquors, beers, wines, and how to make cocktails. Use yourself as a guinea pig. The good news is, even if you suck, and fuck up your first 10 drinks, you still win.

I had an advantage when I become interested in doing this kind of work. Namely I'd already been an alcoholic. Or rather was a budding one at the time I started..


Paths to Gainful Employment

You can only booze it up under the pretenses of "an interest in spirits" for so long, right?

Getting an actual job behind a bar isn't as easy as you might think. Most people will go around and apply at bars, and when they tell the manager they have no experience, that's the end of the interview. Unless we're talking about some type of bikini bar shit which obviously doesn't apply here.

Barbacking

If you can't get a job as a bartender right off the bat, you can try to get a job as a barback. Even these jobs can be hard to get if you have zero service industry experience altogether. But if you have no experience, it's an easier job to get.

Bar backs are basically the bartenders support. They clean glasses, tap kegs, haul ice, restock stuff, ect. Occassionally they make drinks. This is how they learn to eventually bartend. It also is a job where you will learn to get used to the high stress atmosphere of a bar / restaurant, because that is a learning curve in and of itself.

Catering

Event bartending is another option. The barrier to entry for catering bartending is much lower than bartending at an actual establishment.

Getting a job with a catering company is easy as hell. They're desperate for people to work these events. The hourly pay varies, in my experience 20 an hour for one company and 14 for another, so nothing too great really. But you get the experience 'bartending'. The tips are also hit or miss. Some ethnicities don't tip. When you're behind a bar at a real establishment, this evens out over the course of the shift most of the time. So you're not as effected when you deal with one or two indians or foreigners who don't tip. But when you're working an indian wedding on the other hand...

This means you're going to be frustrated with some of the gigs you get (andcertain ethnic groups) but will get the experience bartending which will help you along the way.

You'll learn to profile people real fast this way. I don't just mean racially. I mean you find out what kind of people you're dealing with once they get a few drinks in them. Some are assholes. Others aren't.

The problem with catering work is that it's a double edged sword. If all you have is event bartending experience on your resume it's very hard to convince a real bar to hire you, because frankly most event bartenders suck terribly. When you're working some wedding somewhere you have limited booze and mixers to work with so you aren't going to be making more complex drinks that you will have to make under other circumstances. So while you do want to get the experience from catering you don't want to be strictly an "event" bartender. Making the transition from event bartender to brick and mortar bartender takes persistence and lots of pavement pounding. You also have to consider working events you are not dealing with cash and a POS system, you're just cranking out drinks one customer at a time. This is to your advantage when working an event where people tip well, but doesn't entirely prepare you for working behind a busy bar with people 5 deep.



Bartending School- Y/N?

I'll summarize; don't go.

Here's the thing; there could easily be a good bartending school model, where you actually do learn the art of bartending and the business, but I haven't seen one yet. They just teach you a bunch of recipes, which doesn't do you much good as recipes vary depending on the establishment.


Types of Drinking Establishments

Once you've got enough skills, confidence, and know how to land a job at a place where you can make some decent money, you have to decide what kind of a set up suits your personality best.

There's restaurant bars, nightclubs, neighborhood bars, golf courses, country clubs, hotels, private clubs, banquet bars, ect. Each of these will have it's own idiosyncrasies and parts about the job you may like or dislike. They also attract different types of people, and more importantly, different kinds of clientele. You want to end up at a place where your personality goes over well for the clientele.

Here's a tip, try to get a position where you don't have to deal with food. I can't stress that enough. You'll deal with way less BS this way, though it may be necessary to have restaurant experience depending on your location.



The Tools of the Trade

Shakers


Shakers are used to...you guessed it, shake cocktails. There's basically two rules to remember here. If it has citrus or milk, you shake it.

There's basically two types:

Boston Shakers



Cobbler Shakers




Cobbler shakers are shit and should never be used in any professional setting. They tend to leak, the cap gets stuck on, and they can hold less fluid than a Boston shaker set.

The boston (aka glass on tin) setup is the most reliable. They are what most professionals use. However there's a lot of different perspectives on glass on tin vs tin on tin. Personally I use glass on tin.

I like to build my drinks inside glass in front of my customers so they can see exactly what's going into the glass.

When you're shaking up a couple of margaritas with your Boston shaker you look cool. When you're shaking them up in a Cobbler shaker and the cap gets stuck on you look like an amateur.

These things matter.

Mixing Glass



This is used in conjunction with your Bar Spoon to stir drinks that aren't to be shaken. Most of the time, when a drink is composed of mostly spirits, you are going to stir it rather than shake it. For example, a Martini, a Negroni, or a Manhattan.

Bar Spoon



This is an extended spoon with a corkscrew function built into it. The technique with the bar spoon is to stir the ice through the drink inside the mixing glass. The idea is to move the ice around using the spoon as to chill the drink with as little dilution as possible.

James Bond may drink his Martini "shaken not stirred" but nobody else does.

Other uses for the bar spoon include making layered shots / floating liquor, such as in the B52 shot:




The technique is to turn the spoon upside down and to slowly raise it up as you pour on your next layer on top of the spoon. In the case of the B52; Kahlua, Bailey's, and Grand Marinier.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Hawthorne Strainer



Use this strainer with your Boston Shaker to strain after you shake a cocktail. it has springs so it can fit in the pint glass or whatever your shaking in.

Here's a trick: You can make whipped cream by hand if you have heavy whipping cream. Add some heavy whipping cream to the tin, remove the spring from the hawthrone strainer, throw it into the boston shaker and shake it up for about 7 seconds. This type of hand whipped cream is good for Irish Coffee, and other coffee drinks.


Julep Strainer



This is to be used only with the mixing glass to strain stirred drinks, like so:




Muddler



These are for muddling fruit. These days mostly used for mojitos, as depicted in the picture. Muddling fruit has pretty much fallen out of style at this point, and is uncommon for most drinks. The "Old fashioned" is such an example of a drink that at one point featured muddled fruit but does not any longer.

Here's a tip; when you're muddling mint leaves for mojitos, don't crush up the stalks of the mint leaves. They release a very bitter taste. Just smash up the leaves a bit.

--

Bonus: Make your own clear ice





The reason most ice has cloudyness to it is because of the trapped air and impurities that end up in most ice, such as mechanical-made ice like we get out of our freezers.

The impurities and the cloudy part of the ice always form as the last step of freezing.

You can easily make hand cut clear ice by using 'directional freezing'.

Just use a picnic cooler. Fill it with water, remove the top, and throw it into your freezer for about 30 hours. The water will freeze from the top down. That way, when you remove it, and tap the side of the cooler a few times, what will come out is pure clear ice with a water reservoir in the bottom. Just drain out the water and carve square ice cubes using a serrated knife and a hammer.

Having clear ice cubes looks great and goes well with drinks like the Old Fashioned.

---


Tips

Think of yourself as a subcontractor. A business within a business. Your tips are going to make up the vast majority of your income made by bartending, and if you are knowledgable, quick, and efficient, you will do quite well.

Anytime you want to start a brouhaha on the internet and get a grip of likes and 'upvotes', just talk about how "tipping is stupid". People on the internet love to talk shit about the idea of tipping as if it's a system that doesn't make sense, and serves no purpose whatsover.

It's a good thing for me those opinions seem to only exist on the internet and not in the real world, where real people tip me real money every day.

In the example I linked to above, the waitress behaved completely unprofessionally. That's her fault alone, and is not the fault of the system of tipping. It's also a function of the establishment she works at for forcing the communist-style sharing of tips. That is another reason to avoid working in a food service venue.

Think about this... why does someone reach into their pocket AFTER they've compeleted the transaction and hand you an additional sum of money, for you to keep? What motivates people to do that?

Your mechanical ability to pump out the booze and make drinks that taste good is obviously necessary to making decent tips.

But more important than that is your people skills. Let's call it Tip Game.

Your ability to transcend the mere transaction is what will make you money in tips.

Read the Customer

Some people want to sit down at the bar and be entertained by their bartender. Others want to be left alone. It's not rocket science, figure out if your customer is...

...in a social mood, or not.
... a stern, or gregarious fellow.
...a stone cold bitch, or a bubbly type.

And act in accordance with how your customer's personality comes off.

As a bartender, it is wise to have some knowledge of current events, and an interest in a wide variety of topics so you can more easily relate to your clientele. I've discussed many different things with my customers at different times and it's paid off for me to have a general interest in things.

Pay attention to detail


It can't be understated. Be mindful of your client's needs and they will take care of you. If a a group or individuals finishes their drinks, and is sitting there, don't wait until they ask you for another round. Be proactive.

Don't take for granted the fact that your clients are also paying very close attention to what you do. Most of the time, when you're pouring a drink, all eyes are on you.
Learn to get comfortable with being observed.

There are ways to capitalize on this "customer hyper awareness" to your advantage. When a customer walks up to the bar, give the bar top a quick wipe down and place a coaster or cocktail napkin in front of them. Chill some glasses in your downtime by filling them with ice and water. When someone orders a beer, dump out the ice and water (make sure they see this) and proceed to fill up their beer.

Find little ways to show the customer (almost on a sub conscience level, that you're going the extra mile and they will take care of you in turn.



---

The Social Aspect of Tipping

Don't chit chat or bullshit too much with your co-workers when within ear shot of your clients. They can hear you. Nobody likes feeling "excluded". Don't play favorites with your customers either. When people see the cool bartender cutting it up with someone, and they are not rewarded with the same level of attention, they don't like it.

Hey, they want attention from the cool bartender too!

So give it to them!

Making your clients feel cool or welcomed in a sincere way is a vital aspect to making a living on tips.

Shake people's hands, get to know their names, and what they drink. It's a great way to make someone feel important if you remember their name and that they like a double bombay saphire and tonic with extra lime wedges.

Basically, get to know your clients, treat them with respect, and give them what they want. Easy right? Most (bartenders) don't know this.


"Craft Cocktails"

As I'm sure you're aware, there is a trend in the bar industry known as craft cocktailing. It's similar to the 90's style frilly food trend. Sure it's great to use fresh ingredients and all, and to put effort into your drinks. But the money is not necessarily better. In fact, it is often worse. Not everyone cares to tip you more just because you scraped fresh nutmeg on top of their Brandy Alexander.

It's more about volume, which is necessary to making decent money in tips.

Besides, we've pretty much hit peak craft cocktail at this point. The trend will start to fade over time.

That's about all I have to say on the subject for now, I will add more pages to this data sheet as I learn more.

[SamuelBRoberts]

So if I get a job as a bartender, is it an easy path to getting laid with R-selected females during times of peak fertility, and helping me breed teen girl?

That's what I really want to know.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Here is the link I forgot to insert regarding the internet's attitude about tipping. I couldn't fit it into the second post.

[Rhyme or Reason]

I'll close it out with this. A chick co worker was asking me the other day about becoming a bartender. She said something along the lines of "I want to be a bartender, but like, I guess you have to be really into it".

I shrugged and said "isn't that everything?"

[debeguiled]

I learned to bartend when I was a host at a restaurant and kept pestering the manager until she let me learn on slow days.

After that I got a job at a service bar.

After that a normal bartending gig.

You are so right about bartending schools. I asked that first manager about them and she said she would never hire anyone dumb enough to go to a bartending school.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

[Rhyme or Reason]

(07-17-2017 04:50 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  

I learned to bartend when I was a host at a restaurant and kept pestering the manager until she let me learn on slow days.

After that I got a job at a service bar.

After that a normal bartending gig.

You are so right about bartending schools. I asked that first manager about them and she said she would never hire anyone dumb enough to go to a bartending school.

I neglected to mention this in the original post, but the problem with working your way up at an establishment (ie barbacking, ect) is that even if you're a valued asset, employers and managers tend to want to keep you in that role. Why would they take a great barback and turn him into a newbie bartender when they can just keep him where he is?

There's a learning curve when you first get behind a bar which makes you a potential liability to your employer. The key is to get behind a bar where your ignorance in starting out won't do much harm.

I was lucky; I didn't have to barback. I got a job through a friend as a Concession bartender at a local theatre, where people would come get drinks during the intermission. It was high volume but mostly just two ingredient drinks (vodka cran, gin and tonic, ect) so that's another type of job that can help you get your feet wet.

RE: Tips, and the original post...I am not meaning to single out Indians. I understand tipping is largely an American practice, and I don't get offended or pissed off when non-Americans choose not to tip.

When I customer signs the Credit card receipt I do not look at it in front of them. That's tacky. When people leave me cash tips I make sure to acknowledge that fact. I've never bitched at anyone for not tipping nor will I ever.

[debeguiled]

You're right. Each step was at a different restaurant.

[King of Monkeys]

Usually when I go to a bar, it's for karaoke so I stick with getting ice water. Do I end up on a bartender's personal shitlist if I do this? I even tipped some fat broad that was bartending a dollar after getting a water and she gave me the cold shoulder. Hell, she wasn't very friendly even when I came in and sat down.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(07-17-2017 11:58 PM)King of Monkeys Wrote:  

Usually when I go to a bar, it's for karaoke so I stick with getting ice water. Do I end up on a bartender's personal shitlist if I do this? I even tipped some fat broad that was bartending a dollar after getting a water and she gave me the cold shoulder. Hell, she wasn't very friendly even when I came in and sat down.

Personally if I poured a cup of water for someone and they gave me money for doing so I'd be grateful. Sounds more like the fat bitch has an attitude problem (who would've guessed?)

If it were me, you wouldn't end up on my "shitlist" for not drinking alcohol at my bar. However by not drinking you are neglecting the opportunity to establish a relationship with the bartender there and won't have the place "on lockdown". If you want to bring a chick there and impress her, get the bartender on your side.

[TheBMan]

I went to a bartending school in the DC area 15 years ago, learned how to make a bunch of drinks, and never got hired anywhere. It was a lot of info but had no value in getting you employment.

[Sonoma]

This is a really great post, +1 from me.

I started as an event bartender and worked my way up from there, and I think that's by far the easiest way in (especially since it's easy to put on a resume- you can work very part time, and it'll look like you have months of experience, when in reality you've only done like 40 hours). I've had friends barback for YEARS before bartenders (and they barbacked starting at 21, so it wasn't an age limitation)

I would definitely add the obvious, but perhaps understated- when seeking a job bartending, it's very likely you'll find your "in" with one of the other bartenders (so always be a good customer wherever you go). And related- once you get your job, mak sure you're a good employee to your fellow bartenders. It's not uncommon in the food service industry to see people's hours get cut back, and you want to make sure that it's not your hours getting cut, but if your co-workers don't feel like you pull weight, or are just a gossip/drama liability, it's unlikely you'll be there long. Service industry has some bad vices of people bitching all the time, and it's best to rise above that.

I've fucked up plenty of drinks and been fine, but the people who fuck over co-workers never last long

[Rhyme or Reason]

(07-18-2017 06:01 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

I would definitely add the obvious, but perhaps understated- when seeking a job bartending, it's very likely you'll find your "in" with one of the other bartenders

This is true in some cases, when you actually know the bartender as a friend and not just a client. If you drink at a specific bar, (and that is the only association you have with the establishment) in my experience you won't get hired there. They will tend not to want to bridge that professional gap. but if you're friends with a manager at a place, whom you actually know personally, then absolutely.

(07-18-2017 06:01 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

if your co-workers don't feel like you pull weight, or are just a gossip/drama liability, it's unlikely you'll be there long. Service industry has some bad vices of people bitching all the time, and it's best to rise above that.

I've fucked up plenty of drinks and been fine, but the people who fuck over co-workers never last long

Absolutely. You have to get along with your co workers and they have to be able to count on you.

What I didn't mention in the OP either (as I hope it's obvious to most practicing game) is that as a bartender the other staff members will naturally look up to you, you will find them asking you questions and trying to get to know you. It's part of the bartender mystique.

The bartender mystique could be it's own section of the original post, I just figured that was the reason a lot of young guys express interest in getting into the profession and therefore doesn't need to be commented on.

[General Stalin]

(07-18-2017 04:56 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

...

"on lockdown"

...

I'd like to hear from you and other experienced bartenders about the host's side of "being on lock."

As a bartender, do you really grant favors for people who come to your bar often and talk to you? What gets them on your good side? What kind of benefit do you give eachother?

[Rhyme or Reason]

(07-18-2017 06:38 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(07-18-2017 04:56 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

...

"on lockdown"

...

I'd like to hear from you and other experienced bartenders about the host's side of "being on lock."

As a bartender, do you really grant favors for people who come to your bar often and talk to you? What gets them on your good side? What kind of benefit do you give eachother?

I don't grant favors. I don't give away booze either. That's basically stealing which will get you canned right quick. The way I see it, are those "homies" that one would give free booze to going to help you find another gig after you just got shit-canned from your last job for stealing from your employer? That's not to say it doesn't happen though. Plenty of bartenders are give away artists because they want to be cool or popular with their clientele, or their clientele just consists of their friends. Both cases are unprofessional. There needs to be a professional distance, even with clients you do like.

As far as "on lock", it could be interpreted in various ways. I'm sure someone like Gmanifesto would say you don't have a place on lock unless you can walk in and do a line of blow off the chick bartender's tits.

In my world it just means I know your name, treat you like a friend, and talk you up to whatever chick you're with.

Quote:

What gets them on your good side?

Honestly, just being respectful and not wasting my time by asking a million questions about beer, or booze, and then walking away, and doing that 3 more times before ordering a fucking drink is all I ask. A good tip won't hurt either. Just being friendly and cordial will go a long way with most tenders. Some bartenders have massive ego's though.

That being said I should include that I don't work a nightclub. I work at a place that has a nightlife, but it's not a club environment.

[General Stalin]

So the benefit for the client, at least from your experience, is having a friendly face to talk to and a vetted dude(bartender) who can vouch for him.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(07-18-2017 07:03 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

So the benefit for the client, at least from your experience, is having a friendly face to talk to and a vetted dude(bartender) who can vouch for him.

Correct. It may not seem like much, but for whatever reason, social proofing from bartenders seems to have value (to women). Regarding vouching, I'll try to be subtle about it. I won't say "this guy is so cool! you should get under the bar and blow him right now!"

It's better if you're more subtle. Say, if he's a musician,

"So how's your album coming along?" to him, but where she can hear it. I'm not "talking the guy up" directly so much as teeing him up to look cool.

Regarding the "favors" thing, I want to reiterate that plenty of bartenders go much further than I would...typically because they actually have a "hook up" with the place where they can basically treat their workplace as a playground. Good for them; I have no issue with it, but it's not me, and I don't have the luxury of being someone's son, or nephew who's looking out for me.

[Rhyme or Reason]

I just had a pretty crazy couple of nights at work (friday and saturday). I made almost 1k in tips alone, tonight was one of the busiest shifts I've worked, for almost a 5 hour period straight I was constantly making drinks and juggling people. It can get stressful when there's 50 people in your face all either trying to scream drink orders at you or get your attention. I was already running off no sleep from the previous night due to dumb fuck room mates. And now its 3 am and I'm fucking beat.

I came up with a new shooter recipe featuring these ingredients:

.5 oz Stoli Vanilla
.5 oz White Creme de Cocao
.5 oz Chai Cream Liqueur

Shake n' strain



Thinking I should call it the IRT (because chai)


By the way, college bitches love shooters. Learn to make them.

[I DIDN'T KILL MY WIFE]

Wait... people go to bartending schools or "work their way up" to being a bartender? When I was a teenager I just some day decided to randomly walk up to bars in my city and asked them if they needed another bartender. Messed up my first drinks completely, but learned the work just by doing. There's nothing particularly magical about being a bartender, not sure why people pretend that it needs "education" like you're studying to be an engineer.

Although for the sake of scoring with women, we should all still uphold the mystery aura of the bartender

[Rhyme or Reason]

Yeah, don't go to a school, they are scams. Anyone can learn just by doing it's the getting someone to trust and hire you that can be difficult.

[Sidney Crosby]

^ Especially at clubs when it is just some slut with a soda gun and a watered down bottle.

I'm not saying some bartenders don't have skill but if it's just someone making a rum and coke it's not exactly a lost art.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

(09-03-2017 04:55 AM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

Thinking I should call it the IRT (because chai)

Quote:

By the way, college bitches love shooters. Learn to make them.

Get one to drink it from between your legs like she's blowing you.

[The Wire]

Whats the life expectancy career wise being a bartender? Sounds like a great gig at 25. Is this something people want to be doing at 40?

[Rhyme or Reason]

(09-04-2017 12:35 PM)The Wire Wrote:  

Whats the life expectancy career wise being a bartender? Sounds like a great gig at 25. Is this something people want to be doing at 40?

If you're physically still able to do the job, handle the stress / hours, and make good money, I don't see why not. Typically, a career bartender will end up in either management, open their own bar, or go into Liquor Sales, the latter being where i've seen most career bartenders end up.