[Nick98]

Not expecting so much help , but here is the thing that i like to share.
Right, So im at the first step of improving myself, mental state , standards , mindset, But i feel like my confidence will vanish at the slightest fail! here is the thing , met a girl (a friend of my cousin), she's a 3 or 4 , Got introduced to here (shook hands) Everything's fine , told to myself , this girl is in the bag , knowing here will be a very easy thing or if failed to escalate with communicating at least I know my mistake , so i will train on here, Perfect , Hint on a topic began asking here Questions about the topic ( made eye contact ) and she barely returns it , kept talking smoothly , asking here what did she do in x (Somethin we both in common in) I thought im doing perfect until i realised she barely looks at me , even tho i made sure i talk smoothly , made the conversation light , at a second i i thought im hurting my ego as she barely looks at me, now here is the thing, i stressed about it even tho i know i did nothing wrong, i feel there is a problem in my confidence..the slightest thing affect me and turn me to 0 at the moment im tryin to improve myself. Anyone has been there ?

[realologist]

Not every girl is going to like you and it can be for the weirdest reasons. Don't take it personally. Women are fickle. With women expect to fail and to fail a lot. Many men that are good at picking up women have it happen but brush it off like it's nothing. Because it is nothing. For every girl that turns you down there's another that wants to be a part of your life as long as you are a confident man.

[Nick98]

I feel like im on the edge , Any rejection will tear me apart, i got high hopes with this girl cuz she is a friend of my cousin , and wont throw shit tests at me , or be rude ,she wasn't, but i still felt i hurted my ego , again , something is wrong with me.

[fitness2569]

Word of advice don't waste your time on women that are below 5s. They know they look bad and if an attractive Man approaches them, they assume he is of low value or wants an easy bang. Aim for the moon, at worst you fall among the stars

[crispytaco]

You need to start giving zero fucks about rejections. I know.. It's easier to say than do. Well, then try an environment that is not going to expose you too much, like online. Try Tinder where you can next girls in matter of minutes. And always keep in mind what realologist said, not every girl will like you.

[dknightbro]

Yes I've been there.

Consider the fact that I pretty much started from 0.

Couldn't look a girl in her eyes. Too shy + socially anxious. Late bloomer.

What's the secret? Simple hard work.

Approach by approach.

Self-analysis so you can improve on the next approach. It sucks in the beginning, but I tell you you CAN get to a point where you simply DGAF about rejection.

I have so many options now that I even forget or let some slide since I don't want to put that much time into managing them all while keeping my eye on business.

One of the big positive side effects of cold approach is a boost in social skills. So it's worth continuing if you want to level up in something that will help in business.

That's why I'm still in the game. Cause even if I don't get the girl, I get social skills I can leverage in business and life overall.

[godzilla]

(07-01-2017 05:14 PM)Nick98 Wrote:  

Not expecting so much help , but here is the thing that i like to share.
Right, So im at the first step of improving myself, mental state , standards , mindset, But i feel like my confidence will vanish at the slightest fail! here is the thing , met a girl (a friend of my cousin), she's a 3 or 4 , Got introduced to here (shook hands) Everything's fine , told to myself , this girl is in the bag , knowing here will be a very easy thing or if failed to escalate with communicating at least I know my mistake , so i will train on here, Perfect , Hint on a topic began asking here Questions about the topic ( made eye contact ) and she barely returns it , kept talking smoothly , asking here what did she do in x (Somethin we both in common in) I thought im doing perfect until i realised she barely looks at me , even tho i made sure i talk smoothly , made the conversation light , at a second i i thought im hurting my ego as she barely looks at me, now here is the thing, i stressed about it even tho i know i did nothing wrong, i feel there is a problem in my confidence..the slightest thing affect me and turn me to 0 at the moment im tryin to improve myself. Anyone has been there ?

It easy to get down on yourself when you're faced with constant rejection. When someone of that you consider low value rejects it makes you feel worthless.

So first off, if you want something better, don't sell yourself short and try for a girl that is a 3 or 4.

Second, your successes or failures with women have no baring on the rest of your life. Even you fail a million times with girls, you should still go to gym, eat right, etc(improving) You can still do these things while failing at everything else.

[Remington]

You need to approach more. If your confidence is down after you get rejected by a swamp donkey, you need to become an approach machine.

You don't need to hit on every girl you see, but you can keep things light just by increasing the number of people you talk to every day. This can be both guys and girls.

When I had anxiety, I started saying "Hi" or "Good morning" to almost everyone I walked past when I was living in the city. If I was in the grocery store, I'd walk up to random people and ask questions about a food or if it goes good with something I want to cook.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Not every interaction needs to be about trying to bang or getting a number. Have fun speaking with different people and improving your social skills.

Your confidence will improve, you just need to make the effort to get yourself there.

[dima514]

Lots of good advice from these gentlemen. I'll add however that you shouldn't focus your life just on getting girls.. Focus on your health, career, hobbies.. getting girls will be a by product of your life's success.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

You have barely begun.
Go on NO-FAP - helps with social anxiety.
Learn Game from good sources - Roosh, Nick Krauser etc.
Start Lifting - will raise your testosterone.

Probably Nofap will have more reaction in you - surprising, but true - the younger you are the stronger will be the reaction.

Then approach, get better over time - be honest with yourself and not negative. Also - no need to become someone different. If you are the silent introverted one, then you will do better doing Daygame where you are instantly one on one with a girl. You will just become a stronger version of yourself - don't try to become the party animal in the Night club.