[droughtmeat]

I'm a bridge burner too. During my cuck days I was in a LTR for about 4,5 years, then my ex-gf broke up with me. Anyway, a couple of months later she texted me on multiple occasions asking "hey how have you been doing?" or telling me stuff like "wow, I had crazy dreams about you last night".
However, I only responded with one liners like "yea, cool dream" or "I'm fine."

A friend's ex girlfriend even texted me about 6 years after their break up. I didn't recognize her at first and have no idea how she got my number. She insisted we meet, but I declined the offer. Probably was just looking for validation like most women in those cases.

[Glaucon]

I have several, now over-the-wall girls contacting me after years.

I was too nice back then...

[Jetset]

I'm not a big believer in bridge burning unless she's a true POS, so I get these, too.

Plates do come and go. Married, divorcing, or whatever, some of these can be put back into your rotation easily enough, or kept on maintenance for use when you're traveling. Make them earn any validation/attention just the same.

(06-21-2017 11:26 AM)debeguiled Wrote:  

Some women literally have no concept of time. If you are alive in her thoughts and feelings, you are with her in the eternal now. In some cases, this is no different from a second day text.

Seeing this made me cringe, because I had just posted in the 'what to text next' thread about a confusing response I got from a married woman I hadn't spoken to in years. I sent her a link about an art topic we had a mutual interest in, but I didn't really expect a response.

Sure enough, the reply came with this very familiar tone, like we talk constantly and there's been no break in continuity - even though it didn't seem like an invitation to restart. Caught me off guard to the point I thought I was imagining it. This would explain a few things about that particular situation.

[lunchmoney]

bumping this great thread...

Anyone deal with this recently? I had an ex text me last week with lame "What are you doing for the holidays" opener. I had not spoke to her in 3-4 years, and I knew the text meant she either had split from her hubby or was about to cheat on him.

[Caduceus]

(12-17-2018 06:20 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  

bumping this great thread...

Anyone deal with this recently? I had an ex text me last week with lame "What are you doing for the holidays" opener. I had not spoke to her in 3-4 years, and I knew the text meant she either had split from her hubby or was about to cheat on him.

Do a video call to check if she's still hot and bangable, then schedule meeting or block her based on appearance.
Don't let her trick you with old photos where she was younger or photos at favourable angles to hide her fat/wrinkles.
Always go for the video call.

[kaotic]

(12-17-2018 07:01 PM)Caduceus Wrote:  

(12-17-2018 06:20 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  

bumping this great thread...

Anyone deal with this recently? I had an ex text me last week with lame "What are you doing for the holidays" opener. I had not spoke to her in 3-4 years, and I knew the text meant she either had split from her hubby or was about to cheat on him.

Do a video call to check if she's still hot and bangable, then schedule meeting or block her based on appearance.
Don't let her trick you with old photos where she was younger or photos at favourable angles to hide her fat/wrinkles.
Always go for the video call.

Why?

Ex's are exes for a reason - why be like a dog eating his own throw up?

Move on, ignore the hoe, she wants validation, don't indulge her.

[Caduceus]

(12-17-2018 07:28 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Why?

Ex's are exes for a reason - why be like a dog eating his own throw up?

Move on, ignore the hoe, she wants validation, don't indulge her.

Some breakups are done for really stupid reasons (especially when you are really young) and other couples just grow slowly apart without much drama. Not saying you should bang every ex who's still hot, but some can be an exception. A smart guy will know the difference.

If you are the type of man who doesn't have 1 single ex you'd ever bang again years later (provided she's still hot), then I'd question your choice in women.

[Waqqle]

Is she a single mom now? This has happened to me twice so far and they had both become single moms.

[kaotic]

(12-17-2018 07:37 PM)Caduceus Wrote:  

If you are the type of man who doesn't have 1 single ex you'd ever bang again years later (provided she's still hot), then I'd question your choice in women.

Sure there's rare exceptions, but as per usual, you'll bang for nostalgia, which immediately wears off post sex since they're older, probably more boring, or have even more baggage. I'm speaking from experience, it's just not the same.

Not to mention lunchmoney said she is/was married.

Either way, you guys broke up for a reason, and that's how it should be left.

I'm the type of man not worried/interested about my ex's because I'm banging younger and hotter women than my ex to begin with.

That's the type of guy every man should be.

[Caduceus]

(12-17-2018 07:59 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

I'm the type of man not worried/interested about my ex's because I'm banging younger and hotter women than my ex to begin with.

One option doesn't have to exclude the other.

[GT777733]

(06-21-2017 07:17 AM)Noir Wrote:  



You started a thread and missed the forest for the trees.

Even if one of the 3 points you made, so succinctly, were true, what is the motive?

They want validation.

They want to know that if you digged them at 25, you still dig them at 40.

They proceed to rationalize this as still being at 25yo levels of hotness.

Even if younger.

This is just scratching the surface but it's the crux of it.

Women do this all the time, smartphones or not.

Facebook is shit because of this. You do well and they come out of the woodwork messaging you, thirsty for some of that value you're throwing around.

PSA to everyone, not just you (don't take this personally).

Do yourself a favor and don't answer.

Save yourself the headache, ballache and bullshit drama.

Even the road to their pussy is paved with landmines.

Listen to her shit, broke-ass life, relationship/marriage, how she hates her job and about her dumbass kids.

You gonna let a woman that's unhappy implicate you in some stupid love triangle, because she is selfish, wants to feel better and disregards the pollution of this in your life?

Remember how it ended?

Yeah, remember that and move on, don't make mistakes that you can avoid.

This is so incredibly accurate.

One of the biggest lessons a man has to learn in my opinion is learn the difference between how women communicate or act when they aren't messing you around/wasting your time, and when they are talking to you purely for their own agenda (ego, attention, validation, insecurities, boredom, ignorance etc.).

Like Noir said - for ex's - 9.9 times out of 10, ignore them and save stepping in the hugest pile of dog sh*t that you can't clean off your shoe.

One of the best things you can do with the latter type of woman I've found in a casual dating scenario if you are on a date with her or you have her back at your house and she turns out to be a tease who's just taken up all your time, is what I call 'pulling the rug'.

These women want to walk away knowing you want them. So, as soon as you find out she's a teaser or a time waster, literally mentally and emotionally turn off and say something along the lines of "Look, thanks for your time, but I've got to get going - see you later", and walk away immediately without waiting for her approval or reaction, or ask her to leave if she's at your house.
The look on their faces can be priceless - they go from being pursued to being rejected, and they sometimes turn into a desperate attention seeker again.
If she is the one who tells you she has to go, say "No worries, see you later" and start leaving the venue like nothing happened, or start showing her to your door.
It's almost a sick game with these women where they want you to show desperation for them, and when they don't get it, they will either discard you and go to another orbiter, or they get super pissed off or insecure because you aren't filling that emotional void of support for them.

Some very high functioning women can hide this type of behavior very well - so it can be a fine line sometimes. If you date one of these women, it can really mess you up mentally for a long time until you really figure out what happened, and why.

[BlackFriar]

I had this happen to me, recently. It was a girl I knew from 10+ years ago. I am 39. She is like 32 now. She became a bank manager. Makes like $90,000+. All she wanted was a shoulder to cry on. I block her on social media and blocked her number in my phone. I had to. Because I had it bad for this girl, when we re younger. All she does now is takes random trips. Has no friends and just sits at home and drinks wine by her self.

I seriously had to rethink what kind of image I am putting out about myself. When a girl you fucked in the past, who basically became a semi attractive hermit. Just wants you for attention...and not even just as a one night stand. Yeah...I got that bitch out of my life really quick.

[GT777733]

(12-17-2018 10:28 PM)BlackFriar Wrote:  

I had this happen to me, recently. It was a girl I knew from 10+ years ago. I am 39. She is like 32 now. She became a bank manager. Makes like $90,000+. All she wanted was a shoulder to cry on. I block her on social media and blocked her number in my phone. I had to. Because I had it bad for this girl, when we re younger. All she does now is takes random trips. Has no friends and just sits at home and drinks wine by her self.

I seriously had to rethink what kind of image I am putting out about myself. When a girl you fucked in the past, who basically became a semi attractive hermit. Just wants you for attention...and not even just as a one night stand. Yeah...I got that bitch out of my life really quick.

You did the right thing for sure.

I think that can be a big shock for guys transitioning from 'player' or 'pick up artist' to a more well rounded guy that wants more out of life.

You start seeing that well rounded girls are not in abundance, and that you've mostly been filling up your life with girls that you'd never date long term (even if they were attractive).

You start questioning your own value or lifestyle if that's all you've been attracting.

It is a good chance to level up, mature, understand society, understand yourself and understand women on a deeper level though, as opposed to just on an attraction and sexual dynamics level.

[Aenema]

This reminds me.. a girl who I dated for about 8 months on and off, pretty wild girl but cool... a couple months ago she texts me "when can i pick up the shrooms?" then maybe 30 seconds later "shit sorry my friend has the same name as you, but how are you?"

this thread got me thinking. could that have been intentional? she began to ask me questions about my life and such, including the disposition of a serious court case i was dealing with at the time. i chalked it up to a mistake since i have a super common name and it seemed like a genuine mistake/ not anything trying to incite jealous feelings in me... but i wonder. what do you all think?

between our times on and off she reached out to me to restart things: once- a phone call coming down off shrooms saying she missed me. two: sexy photos of her in lingerie. both times she was very direct and to the point, which had me believing it actually was an accident.

[Obermarschall]

I once had one contact me after, I think 4-5 years, on my e-mail. I just wrote back and said: Hi are you a fake? (I really forgot who it was)
Guess what, she answered back in full drama mode. Was fun to read it and made me laugh a bit. That's it. Always looking forward, not back.

[lunchmoney]

(12-17-2018 07:01 PM)Caduceus Wrote:  

(12-17-2018 06:20 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  

bumping this great thread...

Anyone deal with this recently? I had an ex text me last week with lame "What are you doing for the holidays" opener. I had not spoke to her in 3-4 years, and I knew the text meant she either had split from her hubby or was about to cheat on him.

Do a video call to check if she's still hot and bangable, then schedule meeting or block her based on appearance.
Don't let her trick you with old photos where she was younger or photos at favourable angles to hide her fat/wrinkles.
Always go for the video call.

I've done that in the past and was always reminded why they were..in the past.

[Thot Leader]

(06-21-2017 11:22 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

Literally has never happened to me. I'm a bridge burning motherfucker though.

Same here, though it has happened once or twice. If a woman from your past contacts you, she definitely wants something, and no "closure" isn't something women lie awake at night pining for.

I've had three women from my past reach out, only one of whom I'd banged.

girl 1) Tinder hookup, first night bang, dated for a couple of weeks, she went on vacation then came back and told me she'd met someone. She tried to string me along but I wasn't having it. Around four months later I saw her back on Tinder, we matched and she quickly apologized, saying she's made a mistake. I took her back but purely for the banging. Never took her seriously and when she realized it a couple of months later, she ended it. She later called me out of the blue wanting advice about the guy she was dating. I told her he sounded like a nice guy and she should give him a chance. She broke up with him and told me she wanted me back but only on a booty call basis. I agreed, then she ghosted me. This time I blocked her number and social media. Nothing but games and hot sex with that one.

girl 2) an attractive coworker I used to hang out with, e.g. drinks after work. One time she wound up back at my place but I didn't try anything, just wasn't feeling like crossing the line with a coworker. She left, seemingly disappointed. She became sort of catty afterwards and I cut her off (we were working in different departments by then so it wasn't hard). A couple years later she emailed me saying she'd become a (single) mom and really wanted to see me. I was kind of down at the time and in need of a friend, and when she realized I still didn't want to bang, she ghosted me.

girl 3) a close friend from when I was a teenager, she dated one of my closest friends and I was in love with one of her closest friends. She kind of used this as a basis to string me along, treat me like a Beta Bitchboy. We eventually had a falling out and didn't speak again. Lesson learned, never happened to me again. She reached out close to ten years later on social media, was now a single mom and looking to reconnect. I ghosted then blocked her.

[Investment Bro]

(12-18-2018 06:22 PM)Thot Leader Wrote:  

Same here, though it has happened once or twice. If a woman from your past contacts you, she definitely wants something, and no "closure" isn't something women lie awake at night pining for.

Sounds like that Tinder chick had a not so great head for decision making. Glad you put a wiser head into her.

On that note, I got a text about a month ago from my first girlfriend that I haven't seen or spoken to in almost 2 years, and haven't dated in about 3. It made me think a little bit.

On one hand, I see the argument that exes should be left in the dust and never returned to. On the other hand, once you're stoicism is rock solid, it can be a ton of fun to hit some retreads when you're traveling or what have you.

With exes, I agree that once she's out, you should never interact with her emotional BS on any level. If she starts even implying anything emotional, it's drop and run. Don't give her the time of day, because if you left, it was for a reason. The same is true in reverse.

I went back home to visit my family for Thanksgiving, and my ex popped into my head. She had sent the aforementioned text message two days prior and I hadn't responded yet. She had said she was thinking of me, and hoped I was doing well.

I replied with "drinks?" and she accepted. We ended up having a drink, we talked about casual shit, and then I brought her back to my hotel and banged her twice. The sex was still great, and I enjoyed it. She seemed to enjoy it, but that didn't really matter.

When I got back home, I went through my old journals to take a look at my mindset after we first split. As you can imagine, a pre-Roosh IB was pretty torn up, and there was a lot of vitriolic fire poured on those pages. I was strongly against anything that involved exes.

The truth was, I was still wrapped up in emotions relating to her. Once I got over that, and stopped deriving my success in life from my successes with women everything changed. Besides the subset of women with tons of serious red flags, I get the impression that a lot of the guys who are strongly against anything to do with exes are still hurting deep down from that one girl who really burned them. It's easy to shy away from that by shrugging it off and continuously banging new women instead of dealing with the hurt for good. That said...

For players who are new to the game I always recommend staying away from exes until your confidence and outcome independence are rock solid. They invite a ton of problems, don't foster growth, and the rewards are relatively minimal compared to the risk.

However, I don't see anything wrong with an experienced hustler putting a shine on those old shoes if it takes next to no effort, and she doesn't throw drama. Honestly, banging my ex was great in that I suffered no emotional damage, had some very effortless sex, and as a bonus I felt very motivated to get back and start sarging when I got home. Had I been in a highly emotional mindset, I would have missed out on the opportunity.

Totally unrelated, but she was also cheating on the guy she had been seeing for the last two years. AWALT.

[JackinMelbourne]

Unexpected bangs with no effort. Great!

But there are those who you just wouldn't touch again... unless dry spell?

The world works in mysterious ways.

[questor70]

"However, I don't see anything wrong with an experienced hustler putting a shine on those old shoes if it takes next to no effort, and she doesn't throw drama."

The one good thing about exes is that from a purely physical standpoint there is that familiarity. All of the investment to get her into the sack has been done and you don't have to start over again. It's enough to tempt any man who is going through a dry spell. However, in my experience, exes are always drama. Even when they bend over backwards to try to convince you that it's safe to get into the water again, there will be drama. They may not even be aware at the time that drama will reappear. It doesn't have to be premeditated. It just happens one way or the other and you have to expect it.

[Investment Bro]

(12-20-2018 11:07 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

"However, I don't see anything wrong with an experienced hustler putting a shine on those old shoes if it takes next to no effort, and she doesn't throw drama."

The one good thing about exes is that from a purely physical standpoint there is that familiarity. All of the investment to get her into the sack has been done and you don't have to start over again. It's enough to tempt any man who is going through a dry spell. However, in my experience, exes are always drama. Even when they bend over backwards to try to convince you that it's safe to get into the water again, there will be drama. They may not even be aware at the time that drama will reappear. It doesn't have to be premeditated. It just happens one way or the other and you have to expect it.

I don't necessarily agree with that. Of course there are exes that should be left behind and forgotten, but all exes are not created equal. I split from my other ex in London after I finished my time there, and I've seen her several times since with no drama.

Now, this doesn't mean you should actively re-engage beyond a quick bang here and there, because I do agree that exes will find a way to throw drama eventually. It's about using the resources on hand to maximize your own happiness.

Exes are quick and easy targets that can help get you rolling again with a minimal time investment, as you said. Plus, I'd assume the majority of guys here have fairly attractive exes so she should easily pass the boner test.

Now, if that ex is going to throw tons of drama just from a quick one night stand? Avoid, unless that kind of thing adds to your happiness. Some men love drama. I'm not one of them.

In my experience, the best indicators of how much drama you can expect to face if you do venture back are:

• How fiery the breakup was/how much emotion was involved during the split (from her end)
• How invested she still is in you (IE does she send you pings monthly, or is this just a one time deal)
  

From what I've seen, if the breakup/end of the relationship was caked in drama chances are that will find a way to rear its ugly head. These women live and die by drama, and will find excuses to add more drama to their lives. Same deal too if you know the girl is still feeling you. She'll find a way to leverage the sex to throw drama at you. I avoid these exes like the plague.

The other piece to avoid drama is to keep the objective focused on quick SEX ONLY. Don't try to be her friend. You're just the showpiece who is ringing her bell that night. Get in, get your nut, try to have her enjoy it too, and then get out. If you're doing this will normal exes, you will avoid 99% of the drama and the problems.

[RatInTheWoods]

(12-20-2018 11:07 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

"However, I don't see anything wrong with an experienced hustler putting a shine on those old shoes if it takes next to no effort, and she doesn't throw drama."

I am with Investment Bro on this.

How can she throw drama? You don't engage, don't ring, don't pick up, block her etc when she deviates from niceness.

[questor70]

(12-20-2018 05:12 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

How can she throw drama?

First off, if you block her up the wazoo then there won't be a contact months/years later, not without her changing her number. So there's gonna be at least a one-sided communciation channel open, which is all it takes to allow drama in.

In my most recent experience, it came mostly in the form of texts. Shit-tests, guilt-tripping, bargaining for more than I can give her (shifting the goalposts), wallowing in self-pity, etc... You name it. My phone doesn't support blocking texts, only voice calls, so I was stuck having to read them. I know at an intellectual level I should give no f*cks but once I sense conflict, it starts feeling like an itch I can't scratch not to resolve it.

[LatinaLova]

Had that a couple times, girls texting again after a year or two. Just some Tinder one-time bangs who wanted to repeat instead of going out there and risk giving a +1 that wouldn't be worth it lol