Background: Opened the summer Daygame season today by doing Daygame at Buckroe Beach because it is much closer than Virginia Beach, which requires to pass through a bridge on which I was stuck in traffic on for an hour the previous week. Therefore, decided to go there on Friday for the Memorial Day event – “Support Our Troops” Festival that was scheduled from 2PM to 5PM.
Initially, was planning on going with a wingman from Sudan (will call him B) but he was not answering his phone when I called him so I asked an “instant wingman” from California (will call him C) to go with me (I found out later that he is with a girl 10 years older than him – bad choice in retrospect, but it was short notice.)
Total money in pocket: $45 (plus debit card with $1,200)
Wingman C and I take a taxi to the beach and on the way there I explain to C the first-come-first-girl principle of approach as a team, he agrees. Upon arrival at 10:30 in the morning, we change from our polo shirt into swim trunks and sandals. The beach is not crowded but not empty – around half a thousand people already setting up tents.
We set up shop with our mats to the left of the short pier (there is another longer pier to our far right). Observantly, my wingman notices the Jet Ski rentals that are available and asks for the price. They also sell ice cream there, he buys me some as a down payment on the debt for the carbide.
There, The young male worker asks his cute female colleague in a flannel shirt and revealing white top to answer our questions about price. She says that it is $55 per 30 minutes and $89 for a full hour. I am not enthusiastic but C really wants to go, I tell the cute girl that we will think about it. I see a disappointment run across her face and make a mental note to approach her later, maybe when she has less colleagues around her.
We put our mats down and bags down, I immediately go for a swim even though the water is cold. C is a little afraid of the cold and I encourage him to just jump in like a man – no dice. I get out of water and tell C to watch our things while I walk to the right side of the beach where the pier is. On my way there I am disgusted by the number of fat people and girls with tattoos – I heard a lot about it, but seeing girls ruin their beauty just outright saddened me. The need to stand out is stronger than the need to be attractive. After about 200 people, I see a prospect at last.
Approach 1: bleached blonde (7.5/10) - Situational Opener
See a girl in a yellow bikini sitting in a lawn chair. She has two young boys with her who suspiciously do not look like her children. Notice that she has a diamond ring on her ring finger. I come to her chair and kneel down so that we are the same height
Me: “Excuse me Miss, do you know where the festival will be at?”
Girl: “I don’t know, I didn’t even know there was a festival.” (Continues looking at me and smiling with her over bleached white teeth)”
Me: “I just read on the internet that it was supposed to take place at Buckroe Beach around 2PM, there was supposed to be music. I saw a stage back there, are there any other stages where it could be?”
Girl: “I don’t know, I am not really from around here. But I’ve been here before.”
Me (throwing bait): “Yes, I read on the internet that there is supposed to be a “Support Our Troops” festival and I read about it on the official city website.”
Girl: “And what’s going to happen there?”
Me: “Food, music, and a fashion show.”
Girl: “I did not know, since I am not from here.”
Me: “How long are you here for?”
Girl: “Couple of weeks”
(children throw a mini-football at her, detracting from our conversation, I change topics)
Me: “The water is a bit cold, isn’t it?”
Girl: “Oh, it sure is.” (she said with a flirtatious smile, clearly enjoying the attention)
Me: “Have you gone swimming yet.”
Girl: “No, it is too cold.”
Me: “Let’s go for a swim now.”
Girl: “No, maybe I will go later.”
I stand up and tell her
Me: “Common, lets go together.” (she pauses for a moment)
Girl: “No, some other time.”
Her kids distract her again and I continue walking. After reaching the pier and finding no good prospects. Suddenly, a thought enters my head that if I had offered her a hand to get up off of her chair, I may have had a much better chance of succeeding. So on my way back, I see her sitting in the chair again close to the water. I walk by, stop and ask:
Me: “Still haven’t gone swimming yet?
Girl: “Just my feet.”
Me: “What.”
Girl: “Only my feet went swimming.”
Me: “That doesn’t count.”
Girl: “Oh well.”
Me : “You need to get your whole body wet. (No answer) You just need to jump in quickly and you will get used to the cold.”
Girl: “No.”
I offer her my hand and ask again and she again declines. Her kids interrupt us again. I figure my wingman is tired of waiting for me and I decide to return to our mats. Got the minimum one approach for the day done.
11AM : My wingman says that I was gone for a while and says that some of our other friends have showed up and that they are going to jet ski and he would like to join them. Unfortunately, he does not have the money and asks if I can buy him one hour. All of a sudden, my previous choice for a wingman B shows up in a lifejacket with another mutual friend, says hi to me and begins taking selfies of himself near the jet ski. He encourages C and myself to jet ski with them. We walk to the rental shop and here is the chance to talk to the cute girl in a flannel shirt that works there.
Approach 2: girl from rental shop - Katelin (8) – Situational/Playful
She is standing at the counter while her male colleagues are busy ringing up some other beachgoers for ice cream.
Me: “We would like to get two jet skis for an hour.”
Girl: “I am sorry, but all of our skis are now rented out for the next hour, we can add you to the waiting list and give you on for 1 o’clock?”
Me: “What, you don’t have two different jet skis for both of us?”
Girl: “Unfortunately, just one, the other 3 have already been booked till 3PM.”
Me: “Fine, put me down for 1PM.”
Girl: “What’s your name?
Me: Phil
Girl: What’s your phone number?
Me: I don’t want to give you my phone number
Girl: Why not? (disappointed tone)
Me: I am afraid that you will send me a lot of spam
(she giggles)
Girl: Oh, don’t worry, we have only been open for four days, we don’t do any ads.
I pause
C: You can find us at the beach, we are right by the jet skis over there.
Girl: If you don’t want to give me your phone number, that’s fine, we’ll find you.
Me: Got pen and paper
Girl: Yes
Me Here it is (dictate my number) what’s your name?
Girl: Katelyn
Me: All right Katelyn, I will be waiting for your phone call at 1PM
Katelyn: OK (she says with a big smile)
C and I walk off. I had to use the restroom and looking back towards the booth, I see the manager (in business suit) come by the booth to talk to Katelyn and she gives him the good news that the jets skis are already booked till early afternoon. He says to keep up the good work and leaves.
Go for another swim, relax for 10 minutes and then I offer C that we take a walk down to our right to scout for girls. He also mentions that we should go to the short pier which has some people setting up table. As we walk where the water meets the sand, I tell him about the girl in yellow bikini that I met and he suggests that I should have offered her to take her kids back to us and hang out with him as he is good with other people’s kids. I ponder the idea as we keep walking but no sign of the girl in yellow. Due to this, C jokes that I scared her off. Another 200 feet down I see a brunette in oversized circular glasses playing with two kids who also do not look like her – too pale while she is tan. I approach:
Approach 3: black bikini brunette (7/10) – Situational Opener
She is laying down on a beach towel so I sit down near her.
Me: Excuse me Miss, do you know what time the festival will be?
Girl: I did not know that there was a festival.
Me: There is supposed to be a Memorial Day festival at Buckroe beach, I mean this is Buckroe Beach, right?
Girl: Yes, this is Buckroe Beach but I am not from around here so I do not know.
Me: I saw a stage over there but I am not sure it is the right one
Girl: I don’t know
Me: How do I get up on the peer?
Girl: There should be a front gate
Me: It is locked, I saw from a distance
Her kids come by to talk to her.
Me: Are these your kids?
Girl: Kind of, they are my niece and nephew
She looks away from me and starts to talk to the kids.
Me: Babysitting them?
Girl: Kind of
Once again, she continues talking to them, gets up and follows one of them telling him something that he should not run so fast. I decided to walk on with my mind shooting blanks.
Not to soon thereafter, having almost reached the short pier with C, I see my next target with two girls in red bikinis on their phones right in our path.
Approach 4: two red bikini brunettes (8 and 6.5) – Situational Opener
I pick the shorter one with the big nose to talk to.
Me: Excuse me Miss, do you know what time the festival is supposed to be.
Girl: I did not know that there was a festival.
Me: There is supposed to be a Memorial Day festival at Buckroe beach, I mean this is Buckroe Beach, right?
Girl: Yes, it’s Buckroe Beach but we not from around here so I do not know.
Me: Where are you from? I throw a glance at the other girl too
Girl 2: We are from the Richmond area
Me: How long are you here for?
Girls together: just for the Memorial Day weekend
Me: It is just so difficult to find thing here in the United States (bait)
Girl 2: In the United States?
Me: Yeah, my friend and I found out about it online but I am so used to being able to navigate using public transport like in Austria, but here it is so hard to find anything.
Girl 2: Well, we are not from here so we can’t help you.
Me: Do you know how we can get up on the pier? My friend and I are trying to get to it.
Girl: There should be a front gate
Me: It is locked, I saw from a distance
Girl 2: I don’t know
Me: Come with my friend and I and we can check it out together
Girl 2: Oh I have to go back to my boyfriend
Me: Where is he?
Girl 2: Oh he is over there
Girl: Yeah, we are just here taking pictures
I look over at my wingman, he has already walked on. Being stumped for a comeback even though I know that is complete BS, decided to walk on. Later I mention to my buddy that he should have jumped in as soon as I mentioned my friend. He said that he did not hear me. We continue along the path
12PM: As soon as we get to the short pier, we see that it is closed for a private party – there are some workers setting up tables, grills, and speakers. Maybe this is for the festival – maybe not? As we begin walking back. I encourage my friend to open up any girl that he likes.
On the way, I see the girl in the yellow bikini with whom I have spoken too earlier, she now has a black pair of panties over her yellow bottom – which suggests to me that she is on her period. Anyway, she is playing badminton with a kid so we move on.
Within 30 seconds, I see and attractive girl to my left by herself sitting down on a beach towel, looking into her phone. I approach and sit down near her. I decide to go back to basics and use the most reliable opener that almost never lets me down)
Approach 5: brunette with phone 7.5 – Phone Opener
Me: Excuse me Miss, is that a nice phone?
Girl: Yeah (she looks annoyed)
Me: Is it an Iphone?
Girl: Yes it is (she seems very confused as to why I am talking to her, plus she may be a little under aged)
Me: Where did you buy it?
Girl: I don’t know?
Me: How much was it?
Girl: I don’t know – my parents bought it for me.
Me: How much memory does it have?
Girl: I don’t know
Me: How long does the battery on it last?
Girl: I don’t know – guess I need to research my phone better.
Me: Does it last an entire day?
Girl: I don’t know (her tone is getting suspicious)
Me: The reason that I ask is that my phone is not doing that great. My students (bait) recommended it to me but the battery on it does not hold very long.
Girl: Uh-huh
She looks into her phone and I immediately turn away and leave. C asks me about why I asked her about her phone and I explain the whole “Elderly chat” concept. We go for a swim again, water is still cold. After the swim, we decided to scout the left side of the beach, find no prospects, just old and fat people. Although we do seem a lot of beach homes. See a For Rent sign for $1100 – mental note. We notice that the water is warmer on this side is much warmer so we go for a swim. We talk about possible reasons the water is warmer, perhaps the pier redirects the currents – I suggested. Finally, we see two girls and one guy walking towards us. I decide to open up the guy first.
Approach 6: Two girls and one guy (6 and 7) – Situational
Me: Excuse me man, do you know what time the festival is?
They keep walking, guy ignores me, one of the girls turns around and answers:
Girl: We are not from around here, we don’t know
We return to our spot. Enjoy listening to Radio War Nerd about the Orlando Shooting https://www.patreon.com/posts/radio-war-nerd-5840125
1PM: Finally, get a phone call from the rental place, but it is not Catelyn but some male employee who tells us it is our turn. As we arrive, the male employee has us sign our safety waivers. Catelyn is there but she is always on the walkie-talkie with the jet ski operators. Since we are using one jet ski for both of us, while I am paying (with debit card) – I say that I will ride for the first 15 minutes while C will ride for the next 45. (Thinking to chat up Catelyn when I get back)
Having finished the paperwork, we walk to where the jet skis are. I ask Catelyn where would be a good place to ski too. She tells me where Fort Monroe is and says that she doesn’t really know and that the male safety jet ski instructor can explain better. As I get aboard the jet ski, I see that C begins chatting up Catelyn. I get going and set a timer.
Have difficulty controlling the thing as it does not have power steering and each wave just seemed to throw me off balance. Eventually, I realize that you have to move quickly for the waves not to affect you. I ride along to the pier and back and return around the 15 minute mark. C gets on the jet ski, clearly experienced he rides off into the sunset. Catelyn was talking to the next customers so I walk back to the mat and relax. Finish listening to the War Nerd.
Then, C returns and thanks me for lending him the money. He buys me some ice cream and mentions that Catelyn has never gone jet skiing before and he was trying to convince her to go jet skiing with her right when I got back - But her walkie talkie called her back to the rental. I suggested that he try to set up a date with her instead as today is a busy day. He says that he is in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than him and that he loves her. I tell him that he still needs to keep his “fishing” skills sharp. He laughingly agrees. C tries to approach her but gets cockblocked by a guy riding on a dune buggy nearby. Catelyn now talking to dunebuggy guy. I see my next target, a brunette running towards me from a distance. I turn and head her way.
Approach 7: Running girl in black bikini
Me: Excuse me, do you know what is going on at the pier?
Girl: No
Keeps walking around me. C jokes at me by saying “swing and a miss.” I chuckle and go for another refreshing swim.
2PM: We hear some music at the stage and go to check it out. The “Support our Troops” fest has begun. We hear the announcer mention a Congressman running for office and how much he has done for the area and quickly realize the purpose of the event. Not too many people there but we do get some free hotdogs and drinks. The music is mostly ugly women singing John Lenon “Imagine” and tons or rap.
Next, we see a horse-drawn carriage arrive with a bride and groom. They proceed to the closed short peer. We realize that it must be rented out for the wedding.
The Candidate for Congress takes some time with the cameras to talk with us, turns out that he is a former Navy submarine technician. We ask him about how he got a job in the private sector. After about 5 minutes and the cameraman having left, he told us that he needed to go, I wish him good luck at his election.
Knowing that we have about an hour and a half left till we must leave, we decided to go to the long pier, which is further away, C had to go back to get his tennis shoes.
3PM: On our way, see three black girls (probably HS graduates) posing for pictures for an older couple (maybe their parents). All of them could have been 6s and 7s if it was not for the giant tattoos on their thighs and backs that just ruin their image. We pass through.
Once we got to the long pier, we found out that fishing at the pier was $8 to fish on and $1 to enter which really pissed C off and in disgust, we walked away. Saw a cute girl (8.5) in black walking in front of us on our way back, but she ran across the street back to the parking lot. Chose not to run after her due to sandals and my wingman being lethargic (he later said that he was lightheaded and put lots of ice water on his head) We listen to some more music at the festival, still very few people. We see more cars pulling into the parking lot, confirming our suspicions that the beach probably livens up more at night. Sadly, we call the cab and return as C had a 6PM deadline to be back. The cab picks us up at 4:30PM.
Later on, chat with B at the cafeteria, (the guy who I was supposed to go with, but ended up going separately) and he said he had 5 approaches and one number - a cute black girl working at the fest. I told him that I did not notice anyone cute at the fest.
Total: 7 Approaches, 2 positive responses, 0 numbers - $130 spent (not including cab: $50 each way (30 miles))
Conclusions:
-Beach really reveals to the extent that girls damage themselves with tattoos.
-Large crowds do not arrive until late afternoon/evening.
-The ratio of cute girls (6+) on the Beach is slightly higher than in the general female population in Hampton, VA, but still hovers around 1:30 vs perhaps 1:45 in other places.
-The Situational Opener is not the best to use as can be seen by the result
-Festivals, if poorly promoted, do not result in large gatherings.
Follow-up questions for the readers:
What are some sustains?
What are some improvements?
Anything I could have done to make my wingman - C more cooperative?
Which beach openers would you use?
How could you have continued some of my approaches where I gave up?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates