[Dirtyblueshirt]

Wow. Only way this gets better is if you tell me that the Theranos chick came up with it.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I don't want to even think of all the extra preservatives that are mixed with this juice in order to allow it to be stored in these idiotic "squeezable containers" as opposed to the regular bottled or packaged juice. I have the impression that since getting the containers is so expensive, you're encouraged to buy massive amounts of them at once to have large reserves at your home, leading to greatly increased demands for shelf life that can only be fixed with more E512X and similar ingredients.

[Liberty Sea]

(05-25-2017 05:26 AM)Horus Wrote:  

In the first video it said that the bags contain cut up fruits and vegetables, so I don't think it's actually a packet of pre-squeezed juice.

That is just what the company says. But if what the bag contains are really just cut-up fruits and vegs, how can you squeeze it into homogeneous juice with your bare hands in 2 minutes? That alone is enough to tell you what the bag contains is no mere cut-up fruits, but pre-squeezed or masticated fruits. But in order to sell you the 'juicer' and the $8 fruit bags, of course Juicero must tell you it contains fresh cut-up fruits and vegs, and says in a convoluted way that the machine only works with Juicero-made fruit bags.r

[Aurini]

"Cut up fruit" could mean a finely diced slurry. Not *technically* juice until you squeeze it through a basic filter.

[easternwomenrule]

I've seen a different version last year where it looks like the same machine! You put the fruit in a bag and it squeeze all the juice out where afterwards you throw the bag out (squeeze fruit). So there is no cleaning up and need to pull your juicer apart for cleaning!

I was looking at buying one but the stupid thing cost $1100!!!
https://www.froothie.com.au/juisir-juici...e-cleaning

I have the OPTIMUM 600 which is easy to clean and use where I juice for good health daily or for a pre workout drink! It's a very solid juicer which is another quality I like about it! It gives me a bit of a buzz like coffee (1 beetroot, 4 celery sticks, 4 carrots, 1 apple, cup of parsley, 1 zucchini, 1/2 lemon, very small piece of ginger) where I don't crash afterwards. It also puts me in a good mood for most of the day due to a shitload of vitamins in my system! If I'm tried, it always wakes me up where it gives me allot of real energy compare to caffeine which isn't good for your system! Also great for a hangover and to speed up injury or recovery time!

[Leonard D Neubache]

I just want to thank the creators of this machine for inadvertently leading me to this thread:

Period juice in your food
thread-13461.html

Figure I'd let you guys know that I've been on the phone to the Google execs with my spinoff of this device. It's a vaginal insert for post-op transgenders. You synchronise the device with your smart phone. Then you open the device and place a packet of pre-menstruated fluid in it before closing the device and shoving it up your surgically inverted anti-penis.

The device will link to the calendar of your smart phone and plan routine periods wherein it releases the menstruate and emits an ultra high frequency vibration that simultaneously sets you on edge and causes you severe abdominal pain.

Now you'll have to excuse me. There's a dump truck full of money pulling up to my place.

[Elster]

(05-25-2017 10:31 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

I just want to thank the creators of this machine for inadvertently leading me to this thread:

Period juice in your food
thread-13461.html

Figure I'd let you guys know that I've been on the phone to the Google execs with my spinoff of this device. It's a vaginal insert for post-op transgenders. You synchronise the device with your smart phone. Then you open the device and place a packet of pre-menstruated fluid in it before closing the device and shoving it up your surgically inverted anti-penis.

The device will link to the calendar of your smart phone and plan routine periods wherein it releases the menstruate and emits an ultra high frequency vibration that simultaneously sets you on edge and causes you severe abdominal pain.

Now you'll have to excuse me. There's a dump truck full of money pulling up to my place.

You bastard, I'm way behind my own drawing schedule and now I feel compelled to make an illustrated instruction manual for the ragjuicer!!!!

[xmlenigma]

(05-24-2017 05:34 PM)BortimusPrime Wrote:  

Why won't people pay me millions of dollars for my stupid ideas?

Check this: coffee chain called Kufi's Coffee. The gimmick is that it's cold brew iced coffee except its brewed in a large old fashioned bathtub that's being bathed in by an especially large African gentleman. Liberals can pay $10 a cup to drink a black guy's bathwater, which based on my understanding of liberal psychology they would happily do.

Did anyone not read about the Exotic Animal Poo Coffee.. was it Elephant coffee or Panda coffee or something..

Ugh! Urban legends

[Easy_C]

You're thinking of Kopi Luwak.

[sonoran_]

WNB (would not buy)

[Captainstabbin]

(05-25-2017 09:35 AM)Aurini Wrote:  

"Cut up fruit" could mean a finely diced slurry. Not *technically* juice until you squeeze it through a basic filter.

That's exactly what it is. The CEO is begging people to not simply buy the bag and squeeze it by hand.

Quote:

On Wednesday, a bombshell Bloomberg report exposed the secret that threatened to ruin the company: You can get almost exactly the same juice without the company’s expensive press by squeezing their damn bags yourself with the hands God gave you.

Today, Juicero CEO Jeff Dunn hit back with a Medium post designed to dispel this misinformation and argue that you should not, in fact, attempt to squeeze the bag yourself. Do not squeeze the bag. Do NOT squeeze it.

http://gizmodo.com/juicero-ceo-begs-you-...1794507811

[Fender_Bender]

^heh

Beta Glow

[Simeon_Strangelight]

The Juicero is already legendary in terms of the teardown both from an organic/health food angle as well as one from a technological or business angle.

The founder was a juice freak and he thought that this would be a good idea, since he based his predictions on coffee espresso machines and likely the Nespresso brand.

But the difference of course with Nespresso is that while it too is an expensive product, it is also a very convenient one while delivering a ready-made coffee that is indeed better than most espresso machines (never mind the good dose of aluminum you get).

The Juicero however has a strongly different market segment - the kind of people who pay 1000-2000$ for Nespresso tabs might be willing to pay 2000$ per year for juice packs, but there is a big but.

First is the full Orwellian WIFI bullshit, second is the fact that a far smaller amount of well-off segment of the population is that health-conscious. And we have to realize that those health- and environment conscious people likely are concerned about both weaknesses of Nespresso as well as those of the Juicero - namely polluting waste production, toxic aluminum and plastic residue in your coffee and juice etc.

So essentially the target group is far lower than the Nespresso crowd. In addition you have this stupid WIFI function and the PR disaster from actually owning one of those as many people are making fun of it.

And they cannot really market it to the upper-middle or upper class, because those people pay someone to make a juice and clean the juicer for them. So this was a truly bad business-model where they utterly misunderstood the target group for your product.

[Genghis Khan]

This is what happens when you glorify entrepreneurship and startups over everything else. Now, I'm in favor of great new products that add real value and I presume that's where the status entrepreneurship have come from.

But the excessive fawning over especially tech entrepreneurs has lead to products like this (and the veritable failures of Theranos and uBeam).

I have quite a few friends with startups. Almost all, with a few exceptions, are completely worthless and I expect them to fail in the next few years. Garbage products, services or apps implemented without real thought into the applicability and usefulness of what they have.

It's for this reason I now have a visceral disgust when someone says they're working on a startup. 99% of the time it's complete bullshit. Entrepreneurship was supposed to be about taking risks. But I don't see the risk at all anymore: money flows easily and heck if you fail, the fact you started a company means you're a go-getter and attractive to corporations as an employee. There is now zero risk involved in being a tech entrepreneur.

Many older people I know are telling me since I'm young I should definitely consider doing a startup. What a silly advice to give. This is how you end up with ridiculous ideas like this: the desire to be a tech entrepreneur leads to looking for any idea. When ideally it should be the other way around: (maybe: develop the technical and industry experience,) serendipitously stumble upon a great idea and THEN do a startup. That's actually how most successful tech companies started: with technically skilled founders tinkering and discovering a useful idea and then deciding they wanted to make a company. Not the other way around.

The entire silicon valley/tech industry has sadly become an abomination.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Here's what my juicer looks like:






And it only costs $250! Those dumbfucks!

[Simeon_Strangelight]

He should have studied more the logical technological application of that model before assuming that ideas alone make great products.

And yes - Ivanka-Mrs.-wannabe-like-Markel also tweeted in support of Juicero:



Reason:

Quote:

We should also point out here that according to CrunchBase and reports from the time, Thrive Capital—the venture capital firm of Ivanka Trump’s brother-in-law, Joshua Kushner—invested in Juicero in March 2016.

Of course - that is why Kushner needed the Israeli mobster money to keep on to the cash. The Juicero was meant to save him, but the Donald later did by becoming president.

[Aurini]

(05-25-2017 12:22 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

(05-25-2017 09:35 AM)Aurini Wrote:  

"Cut up fruit" could mean a finely diced slurry. Not *technically* juice until you squeeze it through a basic filter.

That's exactly what it is. The CEO is begging people to not simply buy the bag and squeeze it by hand.

Quote:

On Wednesday, a bombshell Bloomberg report exposed the secret that threatened to ruin the company: You can get almost exactly the same juice without the company’s expensive press by squeezing their damn bags yourself with the hands God gave you.

Today, Juicero CEO Jeff Dunn hit back with a Medium post designed to dispel this misinformation and argue that you should not, in fact, attempt to squeeze the bag yourself. Do not squeeze the bag. Do NOT squeeze it.

http://gizmodo.com/juicero-ceo-begs-you-...1794507811

Handsome Creepy Eel mentioned the possibility of preservatives. Now I'm no expert, but: I'm pretty sure what keeps juice fresh and bacteria-free is the fact that there's nothing for the little buggers to glom onto easily. Sugar and citric acid create a hostile environment. Add in a whole bunch of pulp, though, and you've got a different scenario.

Pretty sure buying a bottle of the fancy organic blueberry juice at your local grocery store will be fresher and healthier.

As for those nespresso coffee machines: I've run into them at a few different offices I've worked at, and they always left me with a major headache. Not surprised to find out there's aluminium in them.

EDIT: in Piggot's "Pushing Rubber Downhill" he mentions having a "fruitarian" as a roommate. Apparently the guys always smelled funny; the CEO of this company looks like he smells funny, too.

[YoungBlade]

I'd buy a hydraulic press juicer that squeezed the hell out of anything you put in it.

[IvanDrago]

Jesus Christ, here is the inside of the thing. The person who designed this was a fucking moron. It looks like a 2nd year Mechanical Engineering dropout took one CAD class and said, "Fuck it, I'm good".

The machining is top notch but the design is complete horseshit. It's so over built you could use the damn thing to press suspension bushings if you wanted.

[IvanDrago]

The founder of Juicero, Doug Evans.

[Suits]

(05-25-2017 01:00 PM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  

It's for this reason I now have a visceral disgust when someone says they're working on a startup.

I'm working on a startup.

[Repo]

(05-25-2017 10:46 PM)IvanDrago Wrote:  

The founder of Juicero, Doug Evans.

Hey, not a millenial, who woulda thought.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

But guys, if you squeeze the bag by hand you forfeit the five seconds you could have saved by remotely ordering the Juicero ™ to squeeze it for you. Over years, those five seconds could have added up to enough time to visit an additional Ariana Grande concert and get another chance of getting moderately blown up by an emmissary of peace!

Think of the seconds guys!

[kosko]

(05-25-2017 12:40 PM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

The Juicero is already legendary in terms of the teardown both from an organic/health food angle as well as one from a technological or business angle.

The founder was a juice freak and he thought that this would be a good idea, since he based his predictions on coffee espresso machines and likely the Nespresso brand.

But the difference of course with Nespresso is that while it too is an expensive product, it is also a very convenient one while delivering a ready-made coffee that is indeed better than most espresso machines (never mind the good dose of aluminum you get).

The Juicero however has a strongly different market segment - the kind of people who pay 1000-2000$ for Nespresso tabs might be willing to pay 2000$ per year for juice packs, but there is a big but.

First is the full Orwellian WIFI bullshit, second is the fact that a far smaller amount of well-off segment of the population is that health-conscious. And we have to realize that those health- and environment conscious people likely are concerned about both weaknesses of Nespresso as well as those of the Juicero - namely polluting waste production, toxic aluminum and plastic residue in your coffee and juice etc.

So essentially the target group is far lower than the Nespresso crowd. In addition you have this stupid WIFI function and the PR disaster from actually owning one of those as many people are making fun of it.

And they cannot really market it to the upper-middle or upper class, because those people pay someone to make a juice and clean the juicer for them. So this was a truly bad business-model where they utterly misunderstood the target group for your product.

Coffee is always a safe bet. An addiction versus a mere luxury in smoothies.

Also smoothies and juice is incredibly expensive to produce with very slim margins. Versus coffee which has historically had some of the best margins in food products.

The juice trend is a big fad. There are two users.

Those who have money and are last and just get it at a store.

Those that are healthy crazy and want to control what goes in it and will purchase a high grade home juicer.

This guy attempted to lure both crowds by these crowds are not the same, very different market types.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(05-25-2017 11:02 PM)Suits Wrote:  

(05-25-2017 01:00 PM)Genghis Khan Wrote:  

It's for this reason I now have a visceral disgust when someone says they're working on a startup.

I'm working on a startup.