[ExploringReality]

My efforts and long nights of self-doubt are starting to bear its fruit. I begin to understand what, in our shared language, we call abundance. Right now, as I write, I have a girl that desires to be my girl-friend, I had a fun night with another (didn't end up in sex), and I have a date programmed for tomorrow with yet another one. Nothing to be amazed of for most of you, but a very significant group of events for me. This means I am traveling the right path. My strength is renewed to invest even more in this life-style. Of course, people begin to talk. And not everybody is happy.

More than anyone else, I am worried about one particular guy. A dear friend of mine, that, as you might suppose, is completely blue. I was very recently discussing with him these new experiences I was having, and he went as far as to tell me that he would lose all of his respect for me if I went to have sex with another woman that wasn't the one that I'm seeing as of now. It would be good to stop here for a moment. A friend has declared that he values more the feelings of a woman he has not met than my friendship. Even more, I am not compromised with this chick, I told her I needed more time and that we were good as it is. Zero compromise, and she, voluntarily, accepted to continue our relationship like this. Nevertheless, he has decided for me and her that I must not pursue my other options. This hurts, and it hurts a lot, since he is someone I appreciate. So here I found a lesson that I'm learning, and that, I think, you all could benefit from remembering it. You have to be very, very careful when choosing who to reveal the knowledge we have and the ways we put it into practice. As for me, I will double my efforts to maintain my love life privacy, discussing my adventures only with other red guys.

TLD;DR Being red can makes you lose blue friends

The questions are: Are you public about your life-style? How do you deal with blue friends? Any similar experiences and what did you learn from them?

[sterling_archer]

What about you feeding him red pill philosophy bit by bit? So no big lectures how he is blue pill beta and such but gradually dropping some truths here and there.

[XXL]

The lesson here is to never talk to people about game and experiences related to seduction unless you want to polarize on purpose and get rid of people who are not on the same page as you.

This is a touchy subject. It is the guys who cannot shut their mouth about this game thing or red pill stuff are the one who lose friends or get bad rep in.

I do not understand this tendency to talk about it or explain it to anyone. My social/sexual life and personal preferenced how to live my life is none of anyone's business. If anyone even starts getting bit noisy I cut it off, change topic or give some vague answer if I like to.

[ExploringReality]

(03-28-2017 10:36 AM)XXL Wrote:  

The lesson here is to never talk to people about game and experiences related to seduction unless you want to polarize on purpose and get rid of people who are not on the same page as you.

This is a touchy subject. It is the guys who cannot shut their mouth about this game thing or red pill stuff are the one who lose friends or get bad rep in.

I do not understand this tendency to talk about it or explain it to anyone. My social/sexual life and personal preferenced how to live my life is none of anyone's business. If anyone even starts getting bit noisy I cut it off, change topic or give some vague answer if I like to.

Well, I was just telling him what I did on the weekend and what I was going to do tomorrow. Normal shit you talk with friends. He then went on "wait, so you are with this girl and you are going to see another one?". I explained it was nothing serious and still he said I would lose his respect lol. I normally don't talk about game, to be precise, I only talk about it with my little brother; but I thought I was able to discuss what I do with male friends. Not the case apparently.

Your advice is good, just cutting it off and saying its my business only. I will do that if he asks how the situation is going.

(03-28-2017 09:27 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  

What about you feeding him red pill philosophy bit by bit? So no big lectures how he is blue pill beta and such but gradually dropping some truths here and there.

This would not work with this one. He went through cheating and still didn't learn a thing.

[Steve McQueen]

You need to profile ppl you are going to share your experiences with.

Its like drugs man, you are not going to share that you like taking a line of coke or two on a weekend with your work colleague unless he has qualified himself as a party sort of guy.

On the other hand I say fk him, if he wants to be judgemental then thats his issue not yours. Your not pushing your lifestyle on him so maybe he needs to just loosen up.

Guess it comes down to how much you value his friendship. Just stay quiet about it either way but if he is going to drag you backwards I would say find like minded ppl and just leave him behind. Life is too short for that shit.

[Vill@in]

Are you living your life for you or your friend?

It's really none of his business what you do with your love life. Whether or not you choose to listen to him give his opinion on the matter is entirely your choice.

[Cobra]

I'm gonna go against the grain a bit.

The forum and the red pill community has a tendency to excommunicate those considered "blue pill," because they are blue pill and because they said something "beta." Let's contrast with someone stabbing you in the back by say not defending you in a fight at the bar with some douchebags. The latter is called being a pussy, whereas the former not so much.

My values are this and I consider it pretty red pill: I don't care what others think. I value my friendship and will be their friend to the point of defending them if they're in danger because, well, they're my friends. If they want to cut off friendship with me, they are free to do so. I don't terminate friendships due to such misalignment of broad values. They obvioisly were there at some point when others weren't. That's worth something.

Don't get me wrong. I'll live my life but I'll attempt to share it with them. If they don't want any part of it, not my choice.

Comparing beta and alpha as well as red and blue pill in the context of family and friends is pretty tricky and I always come down to what I want first, not someone's version of the philosophy.

[Running Turtles]

I'm gonna say the easiest is to simply not discuss your love life with people who could be jealous of it. Same with money. If you have a side hustle earning you $x, don't talk about it. People are more likely to be jealous than supportive.

I know this is hard because, as you said, these are significant events for you. You want to tell someone because you're proud of the work you've done on yourself and the results that that has led to. But I would really urge you to tell people in a "safe space," i.e. here on the forum or to a friend who is more or equally successful.

[ExploringReality]

(03-28-2017 11:03 AM)Steve McQueen Wrote:  

You need to profile ppl you are going to share your experiences with.

Its like drugs man, you are not going to share that you like taking a line of coke or two on a weekend with your work colleague unless he has qualified himself as a party sort of guy.

On the other hand I say fk him, if he wants to be judgemental then thats his issue not yours. Your not pushing your lifestyle on him so maybe he needs to just loosen up.

Guess it comes down to how much you value his friendship. Just stay quiet about it either way but if he is going to drag you backwards I would say find like minded ppl and just leave him behind. Life is too short for that shit.

(03-28-2017 12:01 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Are you living your life for you or your friend?

It's really none of his business what you do with your love life. Whether or not you choose to listen to him give his opinion on the matter is entirely your choice.

The thing I value the most in life after me and close family is friendship. I will do everything in my power to not lose that (and I mean the kind of friends that you don't have more than 3); a lot of story together and long talks about almost everything. This is why this hurt so much. Now, as you two are saying, if it came to the point were I would have to choose, I would choose me, of course. As Cobra says below, as long as he doesn't want to lose our relationship over my morals vs his, I couldn't care less if he's blue or red. You are giving me a powerful reminder, that everything can fade away, and that we must have our priorities clear...Something to have in my mind

(03-28-2017 01:22 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

I'm gonna go against the grain a bit.

The forum and the red pill community has a tendency to excommunicate those considered "blue pill," because they are blue pill and because they said something "beta." Let's contrast with someone stabbing you in the back by say not defending you in a fight at the bar with some douchebags. The latter is called being a pussy, whereas the former not so much.

My values are this and I consider it pretty red pill: I don't care what others think. I value my friendship and will be their friend to the point of defending them if they're in danger because, well, they're my friends. If they want to cut off friendship with me, they are free to do so. I don't terminate friendships due to such misalignment of broad values. They obvioisly were there at some point when others weren't. That's worth something.

Don't get me wrong. I'll live my life but I'll attempt to share it with them. If they don't want any part of it, not my choice.

Comparing beta and alpha as well as red and blue pill in the context of family and friends is pretty tricky and I always come down to what I want first, not someone's version of the philosophy.

This is my vision more or less. And the reason behind me asking the forum about ways to manage this. A Machiavellian approach seems to be the only solution.

(03-28-2017 01:52 PM)Running Turtles Wrote:  

I'm gonna say the easiest is to simply not discuss your love life with people who could be jealous of it. Same with money. If you have a side hustle earning you $x, don't talk about it. People are more likely to be jealous than supportive.

I know this is hard because, as you said, these are significant events for you. You want to tell someone because you're proud of the work you've done on yourself and the results that that has led to. But I would really urge you to tell people in a "safe space," i.e. here on the forum or to a friend who is more or equally successful.

Thanks for the advice, I will follow it.

[Remington]

I have spoken with a few friends about what I do with my life. Some hate because I sleep/slept with a lot of women, others admire it and want to know how I do it.

If I share any knowledge that I have gained throughout the years, its only in little pieces with people I trust. If you dive too far, that's when you start to lose friends and relationships with people.

[Cobra]

Losing male friends over the red pill is utter bullshit. They're not women. Men evolve and that blue pill beta schmuck could be the one who could give you advice 5 years from now.

[Travesty]

How can you be close friends with someone if you can't openly share the real you. If you heavily filter yourself you might as well be working for money as a salesman than sitting across a "friend" for free.

The happiest and most satisfied I feel is when I can openly express myself. It's why people want financial independence, or love, or practice an art or sport. Because at those times they don't have to bullshit.

[Remington]

The friendships I lost were with coworkers I thought were friends. We were to the point where we hung out all the time on weekends and went out drinking.

I talked to them about why I am the way I am, and they ended up telling their female coworkers (my coworkers) and then everything kind of imploded from there.

Should have known better. Don't work there anymore and now live in a different city. Oh well.

[Zanardi]

(03-28-2017 06:50 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

Men evolve and that blue pill beta schmuck could be the one who could give you advice 5 years from now.

From my experience, it is true only in theory. I am yet to meet a guy who fits what you described here.

[torridon747]

A lot of members of this forum were blue pilled once.

[crispytaco]

Real friends might not share the same perspective about different aspects of live, but for god sake, they respect the others decisions, as long as they don't affect the friends.

Still, I don't tell anyone about this, except for the tips I gave to a friend struggling with a chick.

[Cobra]

I was pretty blue pill even just a few years ago.

Point is I'm not leaving them as friends due to their philosophy and values. I keep them as friends due to my own philosophy and values on life.

Sure I feel like a broken record around them but some are good people that have given me a lot of their time. Being a friend to them doesn't mean I have to compromise my way of life.

I even have family who I barely discuss polarizing topics with like politics, game etc and I have a good time with them just fine.

There is a broader point to be made here. People aren't just plainly blue or red pill. Most people in my opinion fall in the middle. I made this analogy before but I have a good friend and coworker who won't approach women because he's a pussy when it comes to that. However, if my life were threatened or got in a basic bar fight, he sure would stand up and support me with no hesitation. I consider him one of my better friends even though he does not share my opinion about women. The moment I try to define my relationship with him with a beta/alpha or red/blue pill context, the reasons I value my relationship with them becomes meaningless.

[Vill@in]

Lead by being an example of how good/better your life is now that you're Red Pill. Gaming girls is just one aspect of being Red Pill. Bettering yourself and living a more fulfilling life is the ultimate goal.

Once your friend(s) see how much better your life has improved, they will take a look at their own life and think "wow, I need to do what he's doing and live that lifestyle to improve MY life". It's only through introspection that change will occur and take hold.

[General Stalin]

If a 'friend' of yours is going to turn their back on you because of some difference of opinion about shit as harmless as dating philosophies then they were never your friend.

That said, if they are truly friends of yours and they need some help in their love life or whatever else then all you can do is offer your advice. If they don't like it then so be it they will figure it out their own way at some point.

One of my really close friends has just about 100% polar opposite social and political views than I do. This doesn't have any effect on our friendship, although it does make for some awfully lively and insightful discussions. That is what a solid male friendship is supposed to look like. I don't think he is "wrong" he has just had different experiences in his life that have shaped his beliefs differently than mine. Both of us are happy, doing well in life, and able to meet women that we enjoy.

[blck]

Wanna drop some RP knowledge in some people minds?
Even if they might not be able to see what you talking about?
Even if it make them doubt and reevaluate their whole world?

So you have to be prepared to some huge amount of hatred my friend because nobody want you to rock their little comfortable world with some life truth.

Try to even hint at one of your so called friend who is in some happy relationship that his lovely gf is happily cheating on him for weeks, month or even years and watch the reaction.
Try to explain why the place he worked for so long and so hard just passed under his nose.

That's for nothing that the saying say "Don't kill the messenger"

[Fortis]

You can keep him around but just don't mention your dating habits so much. My friends progressively found out about my game and were able to accept it after a while. Some even are helpful. They'll see i'm looking at a chick and be like, "do you thing" and will have a beer while I chill.

Do not just cut people out for not agreeing with you. My best friend is SO blue pill and he and I clash sometimes but we still can see through our mutual philosophies and remain strong friends. It takes maturity to be able to say, "i don't agree with your actions there but whatever." Do not let Ideology completely consume your life. You're not an idea, you're a person.

[Hazaer]

As the title of this thread is quite broad, I wish to raise another issue which has been bothering me for a while.

How important are having friends when you are gaming or dating a girl? I refer to male friends as female friends are next to useless in most cases. Will a girl think any less of a guy in social terms, who doesn't have much friends or might even have no real friends? At a certain stage in that relationship, she is going to know he is a loner. How does a guy bring the impression that he is comfortable having no/few friends?

Coming to a new city, I find it difficult to make friends who are real friends. You meet someone, have a good time and the next time you want to hang out with him, you get some BS excuse despite talking of such plans before.

Thank you for the replies.