[Hoser]

I've suffered from sexual abuse. I don't mean Milo Yiannopoulous type abuse, I mean I was six/seven years old, and I endured stuff that hospitalized me. If you're wondering how severe the abuse was, the answer is yes.

I'm left with two choices: (1) dwell on it and demand compensation, blaming the world for my shortfalls, or (2) catalog it as a lesson painfully learned, and get back to facing the one opportunity I have to make the best of what I've been given, AKA my all-too-short life. I choose the latter.

I seek no sympathy; please offer none. I'm doing fine. Instead, I invite the members of this forum to discuss, thoughtfully, your own experiences and how they affected you. Perhaps something worthwhile, something useful (to an otherwise shortchanged demographic), will come from this.

I also ask all those who have NOT experienced such a situation to withhold all but the most sincere questions and comments.

[Hoser]

I suppose I should also offer something that I've learned. I've learned that you must never let a post-adolescent boy or man watch over your child.

You should also let things go when you have no power to change them.

[LeoneVolpe]

I know you didn't ask for sympathy -- but that doesn't mean I can't give you any. I'm sorry for what you had to go through, and I applaud your bravery at starting a thread about it.

Thankfully, I didn't experience sexual abuse but I have been physically/mentally abused by alcoholics in my life which lead to my decision to rarely, if ever, drink. Alcoholics are some of the most miserable and pathetic people anyone could have the misfortune of interacting with.

[polymath]

Never experienced it.

Is this something you think about on a daily basis? I'm genuinely curious to know how pervasive the psychological after-effects are.

[Fortis]

+1 for having the balls to make this thread.
Questions for you that are probably questions fathers might have:

Would you say that this sort of abuse is more or less common than the Media makes it out to be?

Also, what are the warning signs men can look for to see if a child is being abused?

Further thought: are there any screening tactics that men can use to see if someone is a potential abuser?

Thanks Hoser.

[MongolianAbroad]

Hoser, is the abuser in prison?

I'm asking because although I understand wanting to put it behind you, as adults, we've got to think if this guy's still out there, some other child could be at risk by you not coming forward.

But maybe you or your parents already did, the guy went to prison, and you just never sued in civil court. If so, then I can see where you'd be mulling seeking compensation or not, and I really have no advice there, as forgetting it has its pros and cons, and seeking compensation also has its pros and cons.

However, if charges were never actually brought, then I'm of the mindset that for the sake of some innocent 6 year old right now, justice should be sought.

Thoughts?

[asdfk]

You seem to assume OP's abuser was a man, which doesn't have to be the case. I was abused by a female when I was 8.

When you have not reached puberty and are not a sexual being, having to engage in sex is a thoroughly confusing experience. I discovered my sex drive while lacking the maturity needed to handle such a strong inner force. It greatly influenced my development, and not in a positive way.

Besides my inner struggle with my sexuality that continues to this day, my relationships with women in general became heavily distorted. You think a 8 year old kid looks at his mother or female teachers the same way after he has been raped by a woman? Nope.

Anyway. Not a very lighthearted topic to discuss.

When someone does this to you, you kind of realise that you are all on your own. What didn't help was that there were several people who knew about it and covered it up. Secrecy didn't help a lot with my self-esteem and how I felt with things.

[Roosh]

I think discussing this topic could get messy. It's best you share these stories privately over PM with members you trust.