[rafaeld]

My friend broke up with his girlfriend recently because of her bad behaviour.

She would act out childishly on occasion to try to get attention. One night we were all having fun at a club and she freaked out and disappeared for no reason, which ruined our night. Another night she was in a bad mood, refused to engage in social interactions and kept making snide bitchy remarks.

My friend was becoming annoyed and embarrassed so he dumped her, explaining that he was sick of dealing with her bad behaviour.

The next day she posted some lyrics on her Facebook wall:

Quote:

I can't make you love me if you don't / You can't make your heart feel something it won't.

Her interpretation? "He just doesn't love me". Of course plenty of her friends were on hand to jump in with choruses of sympathy to shore up her damaged ego. Her self-defence mechanisms refused to acknowledge that the problem was with HER behaviour. Instead she rationalizes the event away as an uncontrollable "feeling".

If this happened to a man he would question himself and try to understand why it happened and what actions he could take to prevent it happening again in the future. This girl doesn't seem to have any ability to recognise that it was her own fault she got dumped, even though it was spelled out for her. She has received plenty of validation and support and will probably go on to exhibit the exact same behaviour in subsequent relationships.

Do women literally have an inability to learn from their mistakes? Or do they rationalize it away on the surface but change their behaviour subconsciously?

[Mikan]

The problem is that the first step in learning from a mistake is taking ownership of your behavior and its consequences. When nothing is ever your fault, there are no mistakes to learn from.

[CynicalContrarian]

High emotion & fragile egos are not ideal for personal growth.

[Cronus]

Women don't need to learn from their mistakes in today's world. There is no pressure on them to become better people because society has conditioned them to believe that they are already at their best. With constant positive reinforcement from social media, orbiters, parents and the likes all criticism is swept under the rug.

Learning from their mistakes would require them to admit that they were wrong. It would shatter their reality of "It's all about me" and "If you can't handle me at my worst...blah blah blah." Rationalizing mistakes is what men do. Our value comes from learning to be better versions of ourselves. The core principle of a woman's value on the other hand is her looks. When she is young she is at her prime and when she knows, either consciously or subconsciously, what kind of power her pussy has it gives her a sense of superiority. Mix that together with the conditions of our current society and you have a future single cat lady with a Hulu subscription.

There's a lot of depth in this topic that has been discussed in other threads, so in short no I don't believe so.

[MajorStyles]

Yes…for the vast majority.

A woman’s nature is affectation: clothing, make-up, etc. She learns from very young to cover up the naked truth with an attractive veneer. Her intellectual perspective will often mirror this framework—ugly truths in the world are refurbished with euphemistic expressions. A desperate older woman becomes a “cougar,” a frivolous divorce becomes a “change of life,” etc. So their mistakes are usually given a linguistic makeover. Women love to polish a turd and call it a diamond.

The biggest problem for most Western men is their continual denial of a woman’s cognitive dissonance. He believes in the equalist narrative, so he’s always making excuses for her lack of accountability. He’s always being let down. He’s like a child on Christmas Eve, naively hoping that that Santa Claus will eventually come down the fire escape. But Santa never comes…and neither does a woman’s sense of accountability.

The best solution is to realize that women are “the most responsible teenager in the house” (as Red Pill Reddit has stated). We are their caretakers. We are their teachers. It’s our job to lead them and, perhaps most importantly, to “forgive them Lord for they know not what they’ve done.” The sooner we realize this ugly reality, the easier life becomes.

[brick tamland]

Simple answer - No. To them, it's not a mistake if they can get away with it, or if nobody whose opinion they care about will find out, or if they receive pity and 'support' for messing up.
As said above, just like politicians, they reframe things. e.g a girl who was a slut will claim that she was 'finding herself'. A woman who divorces her husband says she's 'starting over'. Etc.

[BetaNoMore]

As much as we rag on women, most men do not learn from their mistakes. The people who do learn from their mistakes tend to be men though. We have reasoning capacities, when practiced, allows us to tease out "feelings" from the cold objective truth. Women are mostly about feels. It comes down to discipline. Who tends to have discipline? The patriarch.

[Captainstabbin]

It wasn't a mistake, her goal was excitement, attention and drama - and she got all three.

[Cadders]

MajorStyles said;

Quote:

A woman’s nature is affectation: clothing, make-up, etc. She learns from very young to cover up the naked truth with an attractive veneer. Her intellectual perspective will often mirror this framework—ugly truths in the world are refurbished with euphemistic expressions.

This is key - for women, far more so than for men, surface appearance is the truth. Women, in general, have a retarded sense of cause and effect (at least, compared to most men) because nature has decided that they don't need one; when one's perception of what is 'real' extends only to what you can see before your eyes right now, how you got here, and more importantly, what will happen next becomes far less important than controlling the narrative right now. And women are masters of this - this is the gift nature has given them in place of the ability to divine cause and effect. It is no accident that the red pill teaches men to append the words 'right now' to every declaration women make (I hate you 'right now', I love you 'right now' etc) to get to the truth of what women are really saying, to enable men to properly calibrate their response. And, to be fair, they do this to other women and children as well - it's hard-wired.

This is why the red pill places so much emphasis on frame control. Control the frame and you destroy a women's ability to control the narrative. Control the narrative and she is forced to fall back on trying to figure things out by cause and effect. And over time she will often develop some ability in this. Likely never as much as a man, but enough that she can avoid making truly bad decisions - or at least have sufficient self awareness to know when she needs a second opinion (from you). Just like, in fact. 'the most responsible teenager in the house'.

As men, we constantly need to maintain the correct frame, and vet all decisions that will affect us or the relationship. Expecting women to learn from their mistakes as men do though is a step too far - you are placing expectations on them that most will never be able to fulfill.

[Buck Wild]

No one---not men, not women, not anyone---can learn from their mistakes in an environment where the meaningful downside consequences of failure are deferred almost definitely, or completely eliminated.

[polymath]

No, women can learn just fine from their mistakes.

Some people, man or woman, have trouble reflecting on the past. And others have trouble changing their ways.

But learning is an essential part of human intelligence, which is neither masculine nor feminine by its nature.

I mean, we all know some super mega intelligent women. And some super mega intelligent men.

I think the difference is that women are attracted to emotional turbulence in a way that men aren't. Kind of like surfers who seek big waves. So, sometimes they repeatedly do things that seem totally unrewarding to men.

[Renzy]

(02-12-2017 08:06 PM)Mikan Wrote:  

The problem is that the first step in learning from a mistake is taking ownership of your behavior and its consequences. When nothing is ever your fault, there are no mistakes to learn from.

I think is is why, traditionally, societies used shaming to guide and control women's behavior rather than holding them accountable the same way you would a man.

Shaming is far more effective than blaming/repentance with females as blame involves the guilty party accepting responsibility for their choices and behavior, which women on the whole appear unable to do. Women seem biologically predisposed to avoid accountability at all costs. What they do seem to respond to, even within their own "friend" groups (think Mean Girls), is the knowledge that they will be ostracized socially for engaging in certain behaviors.

[Skank_Hunt]

Excellent point MajorStyles: women are experts at turd polishing. Realities are too painful to bear so mental gymnastics are required in order to cope; it is well entrenched in their evolution; they have had to be adaptable as a matter of survival.

All women learn something from big mistakes. But this does not necessarily mean that they learn to correct said mistakes, which is the assumption of the expression of "learning from one's own mistakes". Instead they might learn that all men who look like the guy who dumped her, or all men in general, are enemies to be hated or at least distrusted by default, even if it is she who was to blame for whatever originally hurt her. She may learn that she should "accept her body", and broadcast it over the internet, rather than accept her mistake of voluntarily becoming a fat shit. Because if she did, she would feel worse about herself, and would have to undertake the challenge of diet and exercise. Delusions - polishing a piece of shit and calling it a diamond - are the go-to coping mechanism of women. This is why modern psychotherapy works so comparatively well on women as opposed to men: a lot of consists of wishy-washy platitudes that support delusions such as "be positive" and "be yourself" and "you go girrrl" equivalents, as opposed to "You are a fat, unpleasant woman hitting the wall real hard. You must do something about it before it is too late." Men on the other hand need practical solutions, and practical solutions first require honesty - however unpleasant - as to what the original problem is in order to solve it.

When you have an entire societal structure - as we do in the west - which supports almost complete lack of accountability for common mistakes made by women on both a macro (government) and micro (white knights/orbiters/boyfriends) level, then there is as Buck Wild mentions no real incentive, indeed even a disincentive, for women to admit to, learn from and correct their mistakes.

A minority of women can make a mistake, identify it as their fault, identify the problem, and self-correct. The majority cannot, nor is it in their design to be able to do so. Nor does the current state of society encourage this.

[Easy_C]

(02-12-2017 08:19 PM)Cronus Wrote:  

Women don't need to learn from their mistakes in today's world. There is no pressure on them to become better people because society has conditioned them to believe that they are already at their best. With constant positive reinforcement from social media, orbiters, parents and the likes all criticism is swept under the rug.

Learning from their mistakes would require them to admit that they were wrong. It would shatter their reality of "It's all about me" and "If you can't handle me at my worst...blah blah blah." Rationalizing mistakes is what men do. Our value comes from learning to be better versions of ourselves. The core principle of a woman's value on the other hand is her looks. When she is young she is at her prime and when she knows, either consciously or subconsciously, what kind of power her pussy has it gives her a sense of superiority. Mix that together with the conditions of our current society and you have a future single cat lady with a Hulu subscription.

There's a lot of depth in this topic that has been discussed in other threads, so in short no I don't believe so.

I think this hits the nail right on the head. A HUGE amount of this is simply because they've been socialized to believe (through both media and thirsty dudes) to be repelled by the idea of having to take personal responsibility for anything they like.

One thing that I've noticed in more old-school raised women is that they tend to have the opposite problem and blame themselves for everything. In my experience(limited...small sample size of traditional women) this is true whether or not they're mentally stable marriage material. The more stable ones are always trying harder to please, the less stable ones I've been involved with would repeatedly talk themselves into feeling worthless.

[Buck Wild]

(02-13-2017 09:29 AM)Buck Wild Wrote:  

No one---not men, not women, not anyone---can learn from their mistakes in an environment where the meaningful downside consequences of failure are deferred almost definitely, or completely eliminated.

"definitely" should read "indefinitely" here. was writing from my phone.

[Vill@in]

At first, they may admit they made a mistake(s). But once that hamster starts to spin...any accountability for those mistake(s) are quickly washed away.

Combine her hamster with the advice of her girl friends who will tell her "Guuuuurl, he's a jerk. You did nothing wrong. His loss". And the millions of blue pill beta guys who will tell her the same thing: "You are a princess. You can do no wrong." with the hopes that (someday) they will get into her pants.

Why would she admit she was wrong when all her friends, White Knights, and her own emotional "rationalization" tell her she was 'right'?

[Steve McQueen]

If we are talking western women a lot of them can learn but have no incentive to learn from mistakes, society excuses their behaviour whilst punishing men severely by comparison.