Quote: (02-27-2017 02:13 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:
So what's the story, Tremont?
I don't want to get into all of the details of my personal life but I will describe some of it. She was Ukrainian, a solid 9 (or even a 10 for some tastes). Beautiful face, great body. Ostensibly educated (only superficially as I learned later) and fun to be with. While I met her in the states, she was not raised here and had only been in America for a few years.
I stole her from a legion of wealthy betas who were trying to wine and dine her with gifts, restaurants, and trips. I did none of that, just my own standard game, fun, sex, and romance.
It was fine early on. The warning signs were there but I was too young and stupid to see them. Being full of pride in my victory of making this girl fall in "love" with me made it worse. She was starting her 30's and badly wanted a baby. We were married and pregnant fast.
During the marriage money was always a big problem. Later on I was working in the financial sector and was making good money, but no matter how much I made we were always broke because she could not stop loading up the credit cards. While I was at work she was sitting home with the kid bored, shopping online. Buying stuff for herself and buying too many toys and other shit for our kid that he doesn't need.
She goes through life assuming that everyone, especially men are supposed to take care of her needs, able and willing to buy her whatever she wants, while simultaneously also being home at 5pm every day. If I can't afford to pay for something she wants, its my problem not hers.
She was also very controlling. She tried to keep me away from my family and tried to get rid of all of my pets. I kept one of them only after fighting tooth and nail with her over it.
She was also constantly complaining about being a stay at home mom because I couldn't afford a nanny. At the same time, she was always dodging my constant suggestions to go and work or go to school or do something with her life. Despite the financial constraints, I saw absolutely no reason why she should have child care if shes sitting home doing nothing.
The main problem was a complete lack of ability to communicate or understand how to solve problems or make compromises. This was BPD to the max. Whenever there is a disagreement, her style of resolution is screaming at you and tormenting you with emotionally charged nonsense until you just can't take it anymore and give in to her demands. Saying that something she wants is "for our son" or "for our family" was one of her favorites.
When I would try to get away from her she would follow me around the house and continue screaming. There were several times I lost it and got so close to physically beating her that I had to get out the house and go sit somewhere outside for a few hours to cool off. One time I actually did smack her in the face, only after she used our infant son in the stroller as a projectile out in the street during an argument.
Throughout the whole marriage I never gave her access to my primary bank account because I never quite trusted her. I was always afraid she would spend it all, or at least if she knew I had any savings she would start yelling and tormenting me until I gave in spent it on something. Of all the dumb mistakes I made back then, that was really smart. Unfortunately it didn't matter much, because with the invention of credit cards its virtually impossible to reign in a spouse with poor spending habits.
Even now after divorce, shes still making non-sense threats and trying to get money out of me at every turn. Its better now of course, because our assets are separate and I have legal rights to see my child.
I also remember a good friend of hers, russian girl with a husband and 1 kid. Every time I met that family all the husband talked about was how miserable he was. He was completely lacking in all ambition and drive, as if sleepwalking through life. His wife ran the household, paid the bills, and whenever she was a little bit upset about anything he was her on call emotional punching bag.
Now I'm not saying all EE girls are as bad my ex. She was above and beyond terrible. But from her, her mother, and her friends I see the following patterns:
* Huge focus on money and material things. My money is my money and your money is mine also.
* A pattern of domesticating and emasculating their men. They want to find a guy they can totally control. Since I'm not that push over guy, we were fighting constantly.
* A general cold calculating manipulative style of interacting with people. In the sense that others are just tools for your own ends. Goes back to the lack of integrity comment I made before.