I decided to write an updated datasheet for Helsinki 2017 since I went there only a few weeks ago for one of those random weekends away that seem like a good idea at the time so my info is at least fresh, if not particularly insightful.
Overall Helsinki was a mildly disappointing place but I wasn’t expecting it to be great in winter so I managed my expectations before going. We did have a good time and I probably would visit again in the summer but we were not blown away by Helsinki, put it that way. I think it would be really good fun if you're under 25 and prepared to trawl at Lady Moon and similar venues, but sadly I am too old and jaded to be surrounded by drunken teenagers these days so I attempted to find the more upmarket venues for our group and frankly there don't seem to be many in Helsinki.
The people there were very very friendly and of course english is spoken fluently by everyone. I got the impression that not many foreigners go there in winter so you will definitely be a novelty. I think it would be pretty boring to stay for more than a few days as I couldn’t find many touristy things for us to see, and the city is very compact and therefore lends itself well to a weekend visit.
It was neither particularly expensive nor particularly cheap, I certainly would rate it as cheaper than London or Moscow but not by a significant margin. I recall drinks in the posher bars being around 10 euros each and entry to places was either free or a minimal charge. Confusingly most places force you to put your coat into the cloakroom for a fee even if you weren’t intending to hand it in.
The most interesting aspect of the nightlife scene there for me was the division of the venues into the places for youngster and the places for the over 25s, with the latter seemingly enforcing their stricter age limits. I have not experienced this anywhere before and I think it’s actually a pretty good idea.
Finnish people are a very self-deprecating and reserved bunch, I did know a few quite well before I actually went there so I do have some prior exposure to their culture. They generally speak in hushed tones when in public and shy away from being the centre of attention. We seemed to be the loudest group in most of the places we went and we are certainly not a rowdy bunch. However, once they have some drink down them they tend to go a bit crazy. In many ways they remind me of Russians who are also reserved until they cross a certain line and then they go nuts…
There were quite a few shitfaced predatory milfs lurking around, one in particular who wouldn’t leave me alone at Teaterri Klubi much to the amusement of those around me. Girls are extremely receptive to conversation and I think the chances of receiving a harsh blowout as one might receive in London, L.A or Moscow are virtually zero. I didn't see a lot of people hooking up to be honest but we didn't go to the trashier venues. I also noted a number of guys rolling solo so it doesn't seem to be taboo here like it sorta is in London. There were quite a few russians from peter knocking about too so if you can speak russian you may get some traction here also.
In Finland metal and hard rock seem to be very popular, as evidenced by the number of venues that I found online thinking they were mainstream clubs and then subsequently discounted e.g. Apollo Live Club, so this would be a great city to visit if you want to chase goths and rock chicks... not sure if anyone actually does want to tho mind you.
As an aside, my single friend pipelined on tinder and remarked upon how polarised the women were, in the sense that they were either horrendously ugly trolls with green hair and nose rings or beautifully slim and feminine blondes. Also noted was how polite and helpful they were when asked questions about Helsinki, particularly when compared to the bluntness and random ghosting by the women on tinder in London. I think if you lived here you could do some damage.
Here are the places we visited:
Atlejee Bar - This place was recommended on various tourist websites as a rooftop cocktail bar on top of a hotel, and I expected something in the realms of mercedes bar in moscow but boy was I wrong. This was probably the most laughably bad place I visited there. After entering the crappy hotel this is located in you go up in a lift and then ascend a frankly dangerous spiral staircase to the ‘bar’ which was absolutely tiny, dingy with cheap furniture and boring people. We literally went there, had a look out on the terrace and then left. Wow what a dump, I dunno what people on trip advisor are smoking, although it would obviously be better in summer when you could actually sit out there.
Grotesk - A meat restaurant with a supposedly hip cocktail bar attached to it that was small but quite good. Probably about as pretentious as Helsinki gets, which is really not that pretentious at all. Lots of people sitting down and mixed age groups, generally 25-30. Good ratios I would say and definitely opportunity here as plenty of groups of girls who will stare at you when you speak loudly in English as we were doing. Started filling up around 11.30 on a Saturday night. People here were quite dressed up. The food in the restaurant was pretty good too.
Steam - A largish bar / club with steam bellowing pipework by the bar. Had really rubbish music but I liked the layout and the decor was OK. The ratio started out good but got progressively worse as big groups of sausage started to turn up later on. Although the music did improve slightly no one even looked like they were thinking about dancing and there was no real atmosphere . I think this place could turn out to be good but we ended up leaving before peak hours as we wanted to see more venues.
a21 decades - A small and fairly dull, sterile cocktail bar which doesn’t deserve to be recommended. It was certainly busy but everyone sits down so there is little opportunity for socialising. Would recommend only for an early evening drink before moving somewhere else. Good ratios but people were just sat around talking in hushed tones as if in a library. Boring.
Maxine - One of the above mentioned over 25 venues located in a pedestrian square above Kampi metro station. Access is round the side of the building and then you go up in a lift. Its a reasonably large club in a long hall with big windows overlooking the city, with a bar at both ends and a smoking terrace. Actually quite a nice venue and could have been quite posh, but sadly the clientele didn't match the setting. It was pretty busy even at around 11.30 with plenty of drunk people on the dance floor but the ratios were kind of poor, bordering on sausage fest. There were plenty of women in the 25-35 category and even some older ones but no real stunners and it seemed pretty downmarket and cheesy, like a school disco for older people. I think picking up here would be an absolute breeze and if you are a milf hunter you would be in heaven, but there was little quality so we left quite quickly. There is zero competition from the guys here by the way… wow it was like every in-bred male in the Helsinki area had turned up there that night. There was quite a contingent of black guys lurking in a predatory fashion on the borders of the dance floor, I got the impression this could be a place for younger black guys to hook up with white Milfs.
Ravintola Teatteri / Klubi - This is a huge complex in esplanade square that has a restaurant on the ground floor, a lounge bar on the middle floor and a club on the top. We went here after Maxine and instantly felt I had finally found my spot in Helsinki, to the extent that we returned the following night and got a table. This place had a much more upmarket vibe and clientele, the club was small but plush inside with a huge smoking area. The age range was mixed with plenty of younger girls, girls in dresses and guys in blazers. A bottle service table could be obtained for around 100 euro spend which is pretty damm reasonable. The middle floor lounge bar was quite spacious, well laid out and conducive to chatting up women before ascending the stairs where you pay the fee and receive a stamp for the club. There is however one aspect of their place that slightly ruins it…On the Saturday we saw hot girl after hot girl ascend those stairs as we sat in the lounge bar and I thought wow its going to be a model show up there. When we eventually went up to the club later on we couldn’t see half of the girls we had just witnessed, they had confusingly disappeared as if entering a tardis… wtf had happened to them? Later on in the evening the answer became clear… there is a members room at the back of the club which you cannot enter without a members card and a lot of the hottest chicks had gone in there. There were still plenty of targets in the main room don’t get me wrong, but I think the holy grail would be to gain access into there. I have quite some experience of talking / bribing my way into vip sections in London and Moscow but unfortunately I failed here. Still it was a great night and I highly recommend this place. My friend (the only one of us who is single) hooked up at Teatterri so he was happy at least.
Burger King and McDonalds at the end of the night were an absolute drunken shit show by the way, I think you could probably pull in Helsinki by just skipping the clubs and going here at about 3am haha.
As I said before, I’m a bit old now I didn’t visit any of the younger clubs which I think would be probably a lot of fun if you’re under 25 and you would probably love Helsinki as I did see plenty of drunken teenagers lurking in the streets, so if you’re in that age group you should definitely check out Capital Club, Club Vatican and Aussie Bar.
It was also worth noting that quite a few places listed in previous data sheets seemed to be closed, namely Tiger Club (which I believe is now split into 2 venues, one of those being capital club although I may be wrong) Ahjo, Namu and Kaivohuone (summer only)
I saw plenty of nice girls when in Helsinki but it's certainly no Moscow, there are a lot of natural blondes which is refreshing and I would encourage anyone to go for a weekend, but it's not a place to run baller game that's for sure and upon reflection we probably should have gone to Stockholm which I think would have been more our style.
Hope you enjoy.
Overall Helsinki was a mildly disappointing place but I wasn’t expecting it to be great in winter so I managed my expectations before going. We did have a good time and I probably would visit again in the summer but we were not blown away by Helsinki, put it that way. I think it would be really good fun if you're under 25 and prepared to trawl at Lady Moon and similar venues, but sadly I am too old and jaded to be surrounded by drunken teenagers these days so I attempted to find the more upmarket venues for our group and frankly there don't seem to be many in Helsinki.
The people there were very very friendly and of course english is spoken fluently by everyone. I got the impression that not many foreigners go there in winter so you will definitely be a novelty. I think it would be pretty boring to stay for more than a few days as I couldn’t find many touristy things for us to see, and the city is very compact and therefore lends itself well to a weekend visit.
It was neither particularly expensive nor particularly cheap, I certainly would rate it as cheaper than London or Moscow but not by a significant margin. I recall drinks in the posher bars being around 10 euros each and entry to places was either free or a minimal charge. Confusingly most places force you to put your coat into the cloakroom for a fee even if you weren’t intending to hand it in.
The most interesting aspect of the nightlife scene there for me was the division of the venues into the places for youngster and the places for the over 25s, with the latter seemingly enforcing their stricter age limits. I have not experienced this anywhere before and I think it’s actually a pretty good idea.
Finnish people are a very self-deprecating and reserved bunch, I did know a few quite well before I actually went there so I do have some prior exposure to their culture. They generally speak in hushed tones when in public and shy away from being the centre of attention. We seemed to be the loudest group in most of the places we went and we are certainly not a rowdy bunch. However, once they have some drink down them they tend to go a bit crazy. In many ways they remind me of Russians who are also reserved until they cross a certain line and then they go nuts…
There were quite a few shitfaced predatory milfs lurking around, one in particular who wouldn’t leave me alone at Teaterri Klubi much to the amusement of those around me. Girls are extremely receptive to conversation and I think the chances of receiving a harsh blowout as one might receive in London, L.A or Moscow are virtually zero. I didn't see a lot of people hooking up to be honest but we didn't go to the trashier venues. I also noted a number of guys rolling solo so it doesn't seem to be taboo here like it sorta is in London. There were quite a few russians from peter knocking about too so if you can speak russian you may get some traction here also.
In Finland metal and hard rock seem to be very popular, as evidenced by the number of venues that I found online thinking they were mainstream clubs and then subsequently discounted e.g. Apollo Live Club, so this would be a great city to visit if you want to chase goths and rock chicks... not sure if anyone actually does want to tho mind you.
As an aside, my single friend pipelined on tinder and remarked upon how polarised the women were, in the sense that they were either horrendously ugly trolls with green hair and nose rings or beautifully slim and feminine blondes. Also noted was how polite and helpful they were when asked questions about Helsinki, particularly when compared to the bluntness and random ghosting by the women on tinder in London. I think if you lived here you could do some damage.
Here are the places we visited:
Atlejee Bar - This place was recommended on various tourist websites as a rooftop cocktail bar on top of a hotel, and I expected something in the realms of mercedes bar in moscow but boy was I wrong. This was probably the most laughably bad place I visited there. After entering the crappy hotel this is located in you go up in a lift and then ascend a frankly dangerous spiral staircase to the ‘bar’ which was absolutely tiny, dingy with cheap furniture and boring people. We literally went there, had a look out on the terrace and then left. Wow what a dump, I dunno what people on trip advisor are smoking, although it would obviously be better in summer when you could actually sit out there.
Grotesk - A meat restaurant with a supposedly hip cocktail bar attached to it that was small but quite good. Probably about as pretentious as Helsinki gets, which is really not that pretentious at all. Lots of people sitting down and mixed age groups, generally 25-30. Good ratios I would say and definitely opportunity here as plenty of groups of girls who will stare at you when you speak loudly in English as we were doing. Started filling up around 11.30 on a Saturday night. People here were quite dressed up. The food in the restaurant was pretty good too.
Steam - A largish bar / club with steam bellowing pipework by the bar. Had really rubbish music but I liked the layout and the decor was OK. The ratio started out good but got progressively worse as big groups of sausage started to turn up later on. Although the music did improve slightly no one even looked like they were thinking about dancing and there was no real atmosphere . I think this place could turn out to be good but we ended up leaving before peak hours as we wanted to see more venues.
a21 decades - A small and fairly dull, sterile cocktail bar which doesn’t deserve to be recommended. It was certainly busy but everyone sits down so there is little opportunity for socialising. Would recommend only for an early evening drink before moving somewhere else. Good ratios but people were just sat around talking in hushed tones as if in a library. Boring.
Maxine - One of the above mentioned over 25 venues located in a pedestrian square above Kampi metro station. Access is round the side of the building and then you go up in a lift. Its a reasonably large club in a long hall with big windows overlooking the city, with a bar at both ends and a smoking terrace. Actually quite a nice venue and could have been quite posh, but sadly the clientele didn't match the setting. It was pretty busy even at around 11.30 with plenty of drunk people on the dance floor but the ratios were kind of poor, bordering on sausage fest. There were plenty of women in the 25-35 category and even some older ones but no real stunners and it seemed pretty downmarket and cheesy, like a school disco for older people. I think picking up here would be an absolute breeze and if you are a milf hunter you would be in heaven, but there was little quality so we left quite quickly. There is zero competition from the guys here by the way… wow it was like every in-bred male in the Helsinki area had turned up there that night. There was quite a contingent of black guys lurking in a predatory fashion on the borders of the dance floor, I got the impression this could be a place for younger black guys to hook up with white Milfs.
Ravintola Teatteri / Klubi - This is a huge complex in esplanade square that has a restaurant on the ground floor, a lounge bar on the middle floor and a club on the top. We went here after Maxine and instantly felt I had finally found my spot in Helsinki, to the extent that we returned the following night and got a table. This place had a much more upmarket vibe and clientele, the club was small but plush inside with a huge smoking area. The age range was mixed with plenty of younger girls, girls in dresses and guys in blazers. A bottle service table could be obtained for around 100 euro spend which is pretty damm reasonable. The middle floor lounge bar was quite spacious, well laid out and conducive to chatting up women before ascending the stairs where you pay the fee and receive a stamp for the club. There is however one aspect of their place that slightly ruins it…On the Saturday we saw hot girl after hot girl ascend those stairs as we sat in the lounge bar and I thought wow its going to be a model show up there. When we eventually went up to the club later on we couldn’t see half of the girls we had just witnessed, they had confusingly disappeared as if entering a tardis… wtf had happened to them? Later on in the evening the answer became clear… there is a members room at the back of the club which you cannot enter without a members card and a lot of the hottest chicks had gone in there. There were still plenty of targets in the main room don’t get me wrong, but I think the holy grail would be to gain access into there. I have quite some experience of talking / bribing my way into vip sections in London and Moscow but unfortunately I failed here. Still it was a great night and I highly recommend this place. My friend (the only one of us who is single) hooked up at Teatterri so he was happy at least.
Burger King and McDonalds at the end of the night were an absolute drunken shit show by the way, I think you could probably pull in Helsinki by just skipping the clubs and going here at about 3am haha.
As I said before, I’m a bit old now I didn’t visit any of the younger clubs which I think would be probably a lot of fun if you’re under 25 and you would probably love Helsinki as I did see plenty of drunken teenagers lurking in the streets, so if you’re in that age group you should definitely check out Capital Club, Club Vatican and Aussie Bar.
It was also worth noting that quite a few places listed in previous data sheets seemed to be closed, namely Tiger Club (which I believe is now split into 2 venues, one of those being capital club although I may be wrong) Ahjo, Namu and Kaivohuone (summer only)
I saw plenty of nice girls when in Helsinki but it's certainly no Moscow, there are a lot of natural blondes which is refreshing and I would encourage anyone to go for a weekend, but it's not a place to run baller game that's for sure and upon reflection we probably should have gone to Stockholm which I think would have been more our style.
Hope you enjoy.
