[federernadal]

So I go to the bars on Saturday, ran into a coworker and a super hot girl was part of the group there. Like the sorority, at the bars everyday types.

Anyway, we talked like very bit and then before leaving I asked her to add me on Facebook. Next morning she did.

So I wait a couple days then message her -

Hey hows the work and engineering school life holding up?

She responds -

That's a struggle but I'm making it happen!

Then I respond -

I can relate to that, but engineering sucks until it doesnt Which classes are you in?

No response (she has seen the message though).

Did I do something obviously wrong?

[eradicator]

(02-01-2017 09:14 PM)federernadal Wrote:  

So I go to the bars on Saturday, ran into a coworker and a super hot girl was part of the group there. Like the sorority, at the bars everyday types.

Anyway, we talked like very bit and then before leaving I asked her to add me on Facebook. Next morning she did.

So I wait a couple days then message her -

Hey hows the work and engineering school life holding up?

She responds -

That's a struggle but I'm making it happen!

Then I respond -

I can relate to that, but engineering sucks until it doesnt Which classes are you in?

No response (she has seen the message though).

Did I do something obviously wrong?

I put the part in bold where you went wrong. Either try to hook up with her that night or at the very least get a drunken make out and get her number.

Forget about being her facebook orbiter. Asking if you can add her on social media is akin to asking if you can be her beta orbiter.

[LeoneVolpe]

Here's my two-cents:

Your first mistake is referring to her as "super hot." Now maybe she is super hot, but you need to keep your emotions in check or else risk pedestalizing her, which will inevitably lead to spitting pisspoor game. Instead, consider referring to her as "cute" or "attractive." I don't say this to sound like a picky prick, I say it because it helps shift your mindset into making her something you're more likely to attain.

You did well by asking for her contact info (but a number would've been better than Facebook), and it's a good sign she actually bothered to send you a friend request -- but girls don't want to just shoot the shit with a guy over messaging. Either have a point to your message, or don't send one at all. In my view, her sending you a friend request was all the confirmation you should've needed to just go ahead and ask her out.

If she didn't respond to a direct question like that, you'd know enough not to contact her again. Instead, you went the indirect route and pussyfooted around trying to get a conversation going (which should always be reserved for dates) and now you don't know where you stand. Personally, I'd rather risk blowing myself out than end up in purgatory.

So, here are my suggestions:

1.) Keep looking for new prospects

Having options will put you more at ease, and you'll be less apt to overvalue a girl or any one particular interaction you have with her.

2.) Don't contact this girl again until she either messages you back, or a reasonable amount of time has gone by that you can send a "restart message."

Note: Do not reference the fact she didn't respond to your last message in your restart message. Let it go. Try to re-engage her with something completely different than what you said in your previous messages.

[federernadal]

The more obvious scenario is that I will see her at the bars again. I really dont want to ignore because this group is literally huge with other hot girls too - and being a part of this group just adds tons to social value at the bars. What do I do then?

PS. Our interaction was like 15-20 secs. She has a lot of guy best friends that literally surrounded her the whole night and she is the one who approached me after she saw me hanging out with my coworker. And she didnt add me - I handed her my phone to add herself on facebook. Then she confirmed the next morning.

[LeoneVolpe]

So let me get this straight...

She spent the night surrounded by beta orbiters, and you only talked to her for fifteen-to-twenty seconds before asking for her Facebook? Honestly, I'm surprised she even accepted the request that next morning. I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I have a hard time believing you built enough attraction and rapport in such a short amount of time to really think this could go anywhere.

You say this girl's part of a large social circle with other attractive women? My recommendation, at this point, is to cease all contact with her over social media, wait until you see her out at the bars again, talk to her for longer than twenty seconds and then let her see you interact with the other good looking bitches in the bar.

Essentially, your goal is to weave a jealousy plotline. But, in all likelihood, I'd be surprised if you haven't already blown yourself out with this chick, so you might as well see where you can get with other girls. If your initial target happens to come around, great. If not, who cares? You've got other options.

[Alche]

You didn't have any balls.

[NickDunne]

Mistakes:

1. Asking for Fb. Especially since you expect to see her again in the same place since she's hanging out in your social circle(s). Escalate in person or at least get the digits with the clear assumption that they will be used to set up a date.

2. 1st text playing it really really safe, but the 2nd one is plain boring and you used a smiley.

[Vill@in]

Like Leone mentioned, your first mistake is putting her in the 'super hot' category. Her and her group of friends.

Just remember, she (and her friends) take big, stinky, nasty shits just like every other human being in this world. She has morning breath just like the rest of us. Etc, etc...you get the gist of what I'm saying. She's not special. Sure, she may be attractive but there are millions of others like her out there.

Your last message to her was asking her a question. If she is too good to answer your question, then fuck her. You have better things to do with your time rather than worrying about where you went wrong or how you acted wrong. She, nor any woman on this planet, isn't worth that.

[PapayaTapper]

(02-01-2017 09:14 PM)federernadal Wrote:  

Hey hows the work and engineering school life holding up?

She responds -

That's a struggle but I'm making it happen!

Then I respond -

I can relate to that, but engineering sucks until it doesnt Which classes are you in?

No response (she has seen the message though).

Did I do something obviously wrong?

Went from bad (Facebook) to worst possible sin you could commit...

...

you bored her boobala

[federernadal]

Ok so what should I have said?

Another PS. We talked about how I've got a MS in engineering and she's working on hers. I told her "I'm real good at that stuff" and where l was gonna take this chat was her meeting me for hw help. She prolly saw through that and stopped the interaction.

[PapayaTapper]

The short answer is you need to forget about trying to know "what to say" (because that isn't the answer your looking for) You need start by understanding that what you need to first understand what you need her to feel

The good news is it's all here (and then some) on the forum. Id start by reading BANG and read as many of the game threads as possible. Try searching threads with "tingles" for example...that should get you started

[Serious Sam]

(02-01-2017 11:25 PM)federernadal Wrote:  

The more obvious scenario is that I will see her at the bars again. I really dont want to ignore because this group is literally huge with other hot girls too - and being a part of this group just adds tons to social value at the bars. What do I do then?

Like others have said, I wouldn't send her anymore messages unless she responds. And if she does respond, try saying something that will get her laughing instead of boring, mindless chit-chat.

If she doesn't respond (most likely scenario), then next time you're at the bar with this group, let her approach you. In the meantime, talk and flirt with the other girls. If she is attracted to you, more than likely she'll approach you and try to steal you away from the other girls. If she isn't, she probably will barely acknowledge you. Even if she doesn't acknowledge you, who cares? You'll be talking to other girls and trying to fuck them.

Don't ignore her or ice her out or act weird if she never messages you back. If you're in close proximity, say hi and chat her up like the Facebook convo never happened. Work on building attraction, and if it isn't happening, you have other options.

[polymath]

"you know, its rude to ignore people" sometimes gets me a laugh and a response if the girl drops the conversation. It's so non-smooth and borderline desperate that it's funny and can come off kind of charming. I would use that line only if it's not a girl in your social circle, so that it won't harm your reputation if she brags about ignoring you to her friends.

If you cross paths with the girl in person again, that's always a healthy opportunity to restart the interaction in a less try hard way.

[General Stalin]

Facebook add + Boring interview style questions = weak game

You made yourself look like an average boring and socially timid schlub.

In the future hook her at the venue, physically escalate try to get her home with you. If that's not happening, then get her number in your phone (never facebook the bitch). Text her and set up plans to get together. Don't ask boring as questions. You want to get her feeling and using her emotions. Asking about school, work, where she lives, borrrrring.

[Travesty]

Your first message after asking a chick to add you on Facebook has to have at least 3 of these 5 words all in one sentence or less:

cock hammer blow job fun

Do you know anything yet? Jesus.

[PapayaTapper]

(02-02-2017 11:12 AM)federernadal Wrote:  

Ok so what should I have said?

I'll elaborate on what I was trying, albeit poorly (reminder to not drink and post), to convey in my previous response.

There is no magic combination of words that a guy can say that will "get the girl" every time. That's a common misconception (the one that the cheesey PUA hucksters use to prey on poor frustrated guys to separate them from their money)

That said there are immutable laws of attraction when it comes to women. The first one is Attraction Is Not A Choice That's a fact.

If that is a fact, then it follows that attraction is an effect. Effects are caused.

So your question then isn't really "What should I say?" (or shouldn't be) It should be "How do I cause the desired effect in this (or any) girl"?

To cause attraction you must stimulate what is broadly termed "tingles". Tingle triggering tools: attire, attitude, posture, etc in addition to what you say ....they all add up to your game

Boring her is the diametrical opposite of "tingling" her

She needs to be intrigued, curious, (if not fascinated)...you need to be memorable. Remember: even an average chick gets a ton of attention from unremarkable dudes...daily. Attention is a common commodity in our online world. (That's one reason that I believe Facebook is detrimental to your game...unless youre hang-gliding with naked bitches or snorting coke with Zac Ebron)


Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime

Here's your fishing lesson (albeit a broad one...pun intended)


Tingles = Attraction

Attraction + Comfort = Arousal

Arousal + Logistics = Bang

And

Bang = Just the beginning

[Vill@in]

(02-03-2017 03:20 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Boring her is the diametrical opposite of "tingling" her

She needs to be intrigued, curious, (if not fascinated)...you need to be memorable. Remember: even an average chick gets a ton of attention from unremarkable dudes...daily. Attention is a common commodity in our online world. (That's one reason that I believe Facebook is detrimental to your game...unless youre hang-gliding with naked bitches or snorting coke with Zac Ebron)

So much this.

You're being the guy from the PG movie, OP. Be the guy from the Rated R movie. Be the guy where she isn't quite too sure where he's coming from.