So let me actually try to answer your questions of "what can I do better/should have done" only for the sole fact that I'm trying to help you bang her/retain her. If you are asking how to get her boyfriend out of the way so that you can be her boyfriend, then it's not recommended and you're probably better off looking elsewhere. If you want to at least bang her, I hope the below can help you.
First and foremost, like the other guys have already mentioned, start working on the "abundance" mentality. It's hard at first, and will come easier as you "expand" your circle of women, but the main reason is because it's almost tangible. It really changes your entire outlook, body language, and overall frame to the point where these questions will come answered naturally. It really is the foundation to the frame you eventually want to have.
In the meantime, I actually found it very useful (only at the start of course) to focus in on a particular woman and try out whether you can seduce her or not, how long it takes, methods tried/successful etc. The other side to it being a numbers game is that your actually trying to fuck the women. Progressing in your game will only happen naturally. If you don't have numbers at first, then progressing your game even with a few or a single woman is still better than nothing.
Quote: (01-30-2017 01:12 AM)Mr. Nobody From Nowhere Wrote:
She kept saying "I'm worried. You're dangerous. I have a boyfriend." and pulled away from anything further. However, she was also saying "This night was so fun. I really like you", maintained a lot of physical contact, and was clearly enjoying my company and conversation.
Stop right there. This is a classic ASD moment. She has clearly told you a few things (not just with her words either). One is that she has a boyfriend and you are still, in this moment, the primary choice (hence her hooking up with you when she knows she shouldn't, in her eyes, you are "worth it" for now). Second is that she thinks you are "dangerous" (compliment) and "really likes you" "had a lot of fun" etc. She wants it. Third, she is (very lightly might I add) trying to lessen the moral repercussions to choices she's already made with you by justifying that "she told you she had a boyfriend". She's trying not to look like a slut even though she wants to be one (in this very specific situation).
Some tips for next time when "boyfriend" comes up:
"Nice, I have a goldfish..." you know where this one goes
"Cool so do I." (pretending to be gay after you've hooked up)
"Oh sorry, he can't come."
"Oh yeah? Is he shorter than me or am I taller than him? (I'm 6'6" so this works, this can also be a bit aggressive for some).
Quite simply and care-free "and?"
The point here is that you want to have a cool and relaxed "I really couldn't give a fuck if I tried" attitude/response to the "I have a boyfriend". Girls want to accomplish two things with this. Shit test you, and ASD.
Quote: (01-30-2017 01:12 AM)Mr. Nobody From Nowhere Wrote:
I basically told her that we're both adults having fun and that she didn't need to worry. At first she was super freaked out and couldn't say much beyond "I have a boyfriend. I'm worried"
If this persists then start showing her that you, again, don't care and can easily leave her/the situation. I'll even sometimes pretend to get irritated (and trust me, it can get irritating) and "lose interest" all of a sudden. This means:
-Not talking as much,
-Not looking at her
-Not paying as much / any attention to her
-Start flirting with other girls
-Sometimes I will just get up and leave to the bathroom, stroll around the bar/club, talk to others, smoke a butt, just generally be away until she starts to "miss" you/r attention.
Quote: (01-30-2017 01:12 AM)Mr. Nobody From Nowhere Wrote:
I resisted the urge to say anything like "I'm clearly cooler than he is" or "He doesn't live anywhere near here and you see him like once a month" but I couldn't make her drop it with something cocky like "Cool, he'll keep you busy when I'm not around" or whatever.
Don't resist next time. That is a perfectly fine way to dodge this topic and still seem fun/care-free about it. Girls like care-free (not careless) men because most of the time they are so wrapped up in their own shit they need a "solid" or a "rock". This shows them petty shit doesn't bother you. It sounds like you eventually tried to dodge with "Cool, he'll keep you busy when I'm not around" and she still wouldn't drop it. Freeze her out using the above methods, slowly/softly at first and gauge her response. You need to eventually train women (if they are to be kept around) that if they misbehave they get punished.
Quote: (01-30-2017 01:12 AM)Mr. Nobody From Nowhere Wrote:
Eventually I helped her get a taxi home (I invited her to stay at my place until the subway opened back up in a few hours but it was obviously a no-go) and she said I should forget the night but then texted me through her ride home about how fun it was.
![[Image: 4420588.jpg]](http://memecreator.org/static/images/memes/4420588.jpg)
Closing is highly dependent upon whether you seduced her enough earlier in the night or not. In other words, if you aren't closing (as in getting her to yours or hers) then you fucked up somewhere along the way. Or as I like to put it, you didn't succeed enough in an area or multiple. Re-trace your steps, find out why, correct it. The only time I buy a girl a ride home is if I'm going with her. That's just me.
Quote: (01-30-2017 01:12 AM)Mr. Nobody From Nowhere Wrote:
I did what I could to keep up the positive vibes and I know that if I can get her out again I can keep pushing but I'm curious if anyone with more experience can provide some commentary on what I should do/could do better in the future. I see her every week so I can play a long game but I don't know if I should be more pro-active or not.
Just for a bit of further info: We're both mid 20s; we've known each other for like 3 months and talk a lot; she's the one who gave me her number and the one who invited me out with her yesterday; she's Korean and we both live in Korea
Dude, this girl clearly wants it. All you do now is play "don't fuck up game". This entails the following:
-This may sound harsh, but immediately roll back on the frequency of communication. Don't go too crazy with this, because she does have a boyfriend and can easily withdraw back to her cocoon, but hopefully you've hooked her enough to where this won't matter as much. If you guys talk every day, make it every 3. Say you've been busy lately etc. but still want to meet up/hang out. Reducing the amount of communication, especially if it's been a lot lately will get the hamster wheel spinning. Girls freak out over this kind of stuff much more than guys. If you are doing this, then stop being overly emphatic with your chats. Don't say warm fuzzy shit and compliment her all the time (again not saying you do). The moment you put her on a pedestal is the moment you lose.
-The next time she asks you out, don't say yes right away. Tell her that you're totally down but that you might have agreed to another event/someone else and you need to check. Don't give her details. Try to confirm with her as close to the date as possible (I have even waited until the event has started before saying "hey still there? gonna drop by"). Your social culture is different, so gauge this.
-Remember, you are a prized possession and not everyone can have you all the time. In fact, people should be lucky to be spending their time with you. Bottom line is, make yourself unavailable a few times, just to remind her that if she wants to jump on for a ride she has limited time.
Continue to be fun and playful, but don't get too "hey were just adults having fun" with her again. Girls don't like logical shit, they are complete overt and emotional creatures and follow the frame of the alpha. If you don't think it's a big deal, then she shouldn't either, and if she does then this is going to irritate you. She doesn't want to irritate you, she wants to fuck you.
Frame/Mentality to keep in mind.
-She already wants to fuck you, will she get to?
-She has a boyfriend.....not sure what this means...so who cares.
-She has fun with you, because you are a fun person and will continue to be fun.
-You are the prize, and she is lucky enough to be up next. You enjoy her company, but can easily walk away from her at any moment.
-If you see each other regularly. Don't. Again, because of your social culture and the fact that she has a BF this will need to be done slowly, and rarely, but really when is the last time you got excited about something you saw all the time? Look up the "law of diminishing return". Don't be a diminishing return.
-You are a busy guy, and you hang out with many women, this isn't your first rodeo and she should know it (not overtly).
Last thoughts: Start taking these ideas and advice you find on the forum and putting them into practice. It's a numbers game, and while it's fine to have a few girls you are "working on", eventually you should be set up to where you can scroll through your contacts and pick which girl you want to "hang out" with for the night. Work on that abundance mentality.
Finally, it sounds like things are going well in general. I have had girls that haven't fucked until the 3rd date (don't go beyond 3). All this stuff I mentioned should be kept in mind especially in future battles. If you are hanging out again soon, just remember to try and naturally or subconsciously give the above vibes, even in subtle ways, and I assure you she will be even more interested. Remember, she is chasing you, and if she doesn't then it's her loss.
Best of luck man,
GR
