I've been into gaming girls for the last couple of months since I've read BANG. However, I feel other guys, without game are doing much better than me. For example, a friend of mine who doesn't know anything about talking to girls gets more success than me with the girls? Now, I am still a noob when it comes to approaching girls (anxiety, etc), but after that everything runs smoothly... Here comes another factor that has been discussed thousands of time on this forum, I am part of a minority group and he's not. I know minority guys can also pickup girls, but I feel they need more game than other guys? What do you guys think about this?
Getting jealous of other guys' success with women
What minority group are you a part of, if I may ask? Where do you reside in the world (what country, what city)?
I know it's difficult and I used to feel like that in the past but these days, I'm drunk off of my own self belief.
I know it's difficult and I used to feel like that in the past but these days, I'm drunk off of my own self belief.
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I think you're worrying too much. I'm not tall, but I ain't worrying about it. I get more girls that guys taller than me.
I've learned in a few years that if you do something with enough confidence 95% of the time other people will follow.
What do I mean by that?
It doesn't matter how you look (if at least you look groomed and well dressed). How you carry yourself matters much more. And trust me, if a woman doesn't want to be with you or be friends just because you're a minority, you don't want her in your life.
I've learned in a few years that if you do something with enough confidence 95% of the time other people will follow.
What do I mean by that?
It doesn't matter how you look (if at least you look groomed and well dressed). How you carry yourself matters much more. And trust me, if a woman doesn't want to be with you or be friends just because you're a minority, you don't want her in your life.
Some of my friends can hit the gym and look as good in 6 months as it took me several years to look.
I can worry about how my friends look....or I can worry about how I look.
What choice will lead to the best outcome?
I can worry about how my friends look....or I can worry about how I look.
What choice will lead to the best outcome?
Ok this is something I have been studying for a while. I've been in sales for several years now. No matter what you say, gaming girls is a sale. When I first got into sales I sucked. I would see people come in and just kill it but I couldn't figure it out. I spend time reading books watching seminars, training with people, etc. So eventually I got better because I was committed and I built confidence in myself as I went.
Now the thing about it is I would still see those people come into the sales company and have amazing results without any knowledge of sales at all. It was frustrating be I had to spend my time every day to get better and these people could just do it without trying. So I figured out a few things over time that helped me deal with these situations so they didn't effect me mentally anymore
1. Skill is learne and you never know where someone got their skills. For me all those years of learning how to sell, it became second nature to me, and picking up girls is just another sale, so it looks a lot more natural for me then other people starting in the game. Other people might have been more out going as kids, or worked other jobs that allowed them to open up easier. As far as picking up girls it's not to much more then having good. Communication skills, confidence, And knowing when to do things at certain times.
2. People always did better when they didn't think. I know this sounds crazy, but I would throw all my selling skills away for the ability to not think. Roosh talks about it in bang indirectly. You need to mess up enough times where these skills become natural to you so you are not thinking about what to do next, you just do it. There was this one guy, dumb as a bag of rocks, but could out sell me any day of the week. Instead of getting upset with him, I spent more time with him and learned what he was doing. Most of these people if you asked them, they wouldn't be able to tell you what they do. It all comes back to having a conversation with someone. You can have a good human to human connection and girls will want to fuck.
3. Learn from these people. Never get upset with someone that gets results. More often then not they will help you if you just ask. What I do is when I see a good player at a club, I stand next to them and just listen. Or I make friends. I have added several very good wingman this way. Now you are not going to want to pick up on everything they do because some of it is garbage. What appears to be good moves might actually be hurting them, but they are doing enough uncoinsciencly that they are making it work. The better you get at the game the more you will be able to pick up on these things and pull the good things they do to make your game better.
4. Shear numbers. Some guys just don't stop until they find someone that is wiling to talk and work with them. I had one sales guy that was terrible, but he sold because he just would not stop talking to people. All day. Came in early, left late, no lunch, horrible pitch, but he sold.
5. Don't let it discourage you. It may appear they are getting a lot of girls but these people tend to fizzle out fast. In sales these people had a life span of about a month, maybe two. These guys that have no game are a lot more likely to be the guys that end up in ltr pretty quickly. or they have looks going for them that they can use. Looks fade, but if you get good at the game you can keep that as long as you want.
6. Directness appeals. Some girls are just ready to fuck. And the more direct you are the more they like it. Doesn't always work but this might be what some of those guys are doing. Also take a look at how far they are getting with the girls. A lot of girls will hang out, flirt, even make out, but a real gamer is in it for the bang. Which one are they doing?
7. Some guys go for the easy one. In sales we called them low hanging fruit, they would go to places they knew would be easy to sell and screw everyone else out of potential sales. Now thats a little different with girls, but you have to ask yourself: are they getting the hot ones that everyone wants or the slutty whores that anyone can get. Personally I am not turned on by the easy ones. I like a good challenge. I had a fried who slept with a different girl every night but they were like 2's and 3's.
So basically I can not completely explain all of why it does happen but at least I can hive you a different mindset to look at it. Never get discouraged by someone else. Keep your confidence and learn what you can from them.
Btw they I sent this from my phone, that was a lot to type...
Now the thing about it is I would still see those people come into the sales company and have amazing results without any knowledge of sales at all. It was frustrating be I had to spend my time every day to get better and these people could just do it without trying. So I figured out a few things over time that helped me deal with these situations so they didn't effect me mentally anymore
1. Skill is learne and you never know where someone got their skills. For me all those years of learning how to sell, it became second nature to me, and picking up girls is just another sale, so it looks a lot more natural for me then other people starting in the game. Other people might have been more out going as kids, or worked other jobs that allowed them to open up easier. As far as picking up girls it's not to much more then having good. Communication skills, confidence, And knowing when to do things at certain times.
2. People always did better when they didn't think. I know this sounds crazy, but I would throw all my selling skills away for the ability to not think. Roosh talks about it in bang indirectly. You need to mess up enough times where these skills become natural to you so you are not thinking about what to do next, you just do it. There was this one guy, dumb as a bag of rocks, but could out sell me any day of the week. Instead of getting upset with him, I spent more time with him and learned what he was doing. Most of these people if you asked them, they wouldn't be able to tell you what they do. It all comes back to having a conversation with someone. You can have a good human to human connection and girls will want to fuck.
3. Learn from these people. Never get upset with someone that gets results. More often then not they will help you if you just ask. What I do is when I see a good player at a club, I stand next to them and just listen. Or I make friends. I have added several very good wingman this way. Now you are not going to want to pick up on everything they do because some of it is garbage. What appears to be good moves might actually be hurting them, but they are doing enough uncoinsciencly that they are making it work. The better you get at the game the more you will be able to pick up on these things and pull the good things they do to make your game better.
4. Shear numbers. Some guys just don't stop until they find someone that is wiling to talk and work with them. I had one sales guy that was terrible, but he sold because he just would not stop talking to people. All day. Came in early, left late, no lunch, horrible pitch, but he sold.
5. Don't let it discourage you. It may appear they are getting a lot of girls but these people tend to fizzle out fast. In sales these people had a life span of about a month, maybe two. These guys that have no game are a lot more likely to be the guys that end up in ltr pretty quickly. or they have looks going for them that they can use. Looks fade, but if you get good at the game you can keep that as long as you want.
6. Directness appeals. Some girls are just ready to fuck. And the more direct you are the more they like it. Doesn't always work but this might be what some of those guys are doing. Also take a look at how far they are getting with the girls. A lot of girls will hang out, flirt, even make out, but a real gamer is in it for the bang. Which one are they doing?
7. Some guys go for the easy one. In sales we called them low hanging fruit, they would go to places they knew would be easy to sell and screw everyone else out of potential sales. Now thats a little different with girls, but you have to ask yourself: are they getting the hot ones that everyone wants or the slutty whores that anyone can get. Personally I am not turned on by the easy ones. I like a good challenge. I had a fried who slept with a different girl every night but they were like 2's and 3's.
So basically I can not completely explain all of why it does happen but at least I can hive you a different mindset to look at it. Never get discouraged by someone else. Keep your confidence and learn what you can from them.
Btw they I sent this from my phone, that was a lot to type...
He who hesitates, masturbates.
Or, in the words of my 81 year-old grandaddy (R.I.P)
"Haters gonna hate....."
Mixx
"Haters gonna hate....."
Mixx
moma - just a western eu country with right wing policies against immigrants, i'm a guy who gets mistaken for being arab/turkish.
pete - nice words,
mike - you're right.
cwk - thanks for your input man, im sure it will help me.
pete - nice words,
mike - you're right.
cwk - thanks for your input man, im sure it will help me.
No offense, but this post sucks asshole. I haven't even read shit, because it's 2:30 am and I'm posting on here, which means I'm not getting any pussy. Sure it sucks to see a guy getting pussy based solely off looks or whatever, we've all been there. But jealousy, is one of the worst, most negative, counter-productive emotions a man can feel. It's better to focus on yourself and learn not to give a fuck about anyone else. Recently, I've kind of fallen into the trap of being a little bit jealous of my friend due to the volume and quality of pussy he's gotten, simply due to his looks/height....
But you know what, fuck it, nothing good can come out of it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Homie pulls way more ass than me, but my safety deposit is about 20 X fatter than his, and I could travel around the world thrice, if I wanted to it at this point. Anyways, these are all moot points, there is no value or point in comparing yourself with others, whether that be in a positive or negative light.
But you know what, fuck it, nothing good can come out of it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Homie pulls way more ass than me, but my safety deposit is about 20 X fatter than his, and I could travel around the world thrice, if I wanted to it at this point. Anyways, these are all moot points, there is no value or point in comparing yourself with others, whether that be in a positive or negative light.
Makes sense man.
Quote: (08-19-2011 01:05 PM)Clearwaterkid Wrote:Yep.
5. Don't let it discourage you. It may appear they are getting a lot of girls but these people tend to fizzle out fast. In sales these people had a life span of about a month, maybe two. These guys that have no game are a lot more likely to be the guys that end up in ltr pretty quickly. or they have looks going for them that they can use. Looks fade, but if you get good at the game you can keep that as long as you want.
Geronimo, keep in mind that a lot of the guys who are naturals slip into betadom once they are in a LTR. And because they never went through all the cognitive learning that you are going through, they can't figure out what's happening when things start going wrong.
How many of us think back to our pre-game LTRs, and just want to kick ourselves for all the dumb shit we did? Frankly, I find it amazing some chicks put up with the betadom for as long as they do.
Quote: (08-19-2011 03:07 AM)Geronimo Wrote:
I've been into gaming girls for the last couple of months since I've read BANG. However, I feel other guys, without game are doing much better than me.
It is a very common perception. Human nature tends to overestimate your effort while downplaying the effort put in by others. Which is quite easy since you do not know how much effort your friend has actually put in. Remember that as years pass, you tend to forget how difficult the learning was, and unless it was spectacularly difficult, it all comes out as "not a big deal". Learning English was easy for you. I still remember the effort I've put (and putting) there, but even I'm already at point where I can say it is not that difficult.
Great advice so far. I would like to add my 2 cents.
Everyone is jealous. As much as I hate to admit it, I do sometimes get jealous of another person's success in any field, that in my opinion is a natural reaction and cannot be helped. However, what you do have control over is what you do after that natural reaction, you go on being jealous and try to diss them and put them down or you can learn from them and get better at whatever it is you are trying to get better at.
As for the minority thing, if you are being mistaken for Arab/Turkish then work on your self appearance. I have beating the drum about how important dress sense is in Europe ever since I joined this forum, I would say that its more important than your skin color. I am an Indian and I do fairly well in Europe, including France. I have been called many names but all those were from guys. In fact I have been subject to so much cockblocking and hate in Europe that its not even funny. I could have pulled out the race card and said RACIST! But they weren't being racist, they were trying to hit me where it hurts the most because they were hating.
Everyone is jealous. As much as I hate to admit it, I do sometimes get jealous of another person's success in any field, that in my opinion is a natural reaction and cannot be helped. However, what you do have control over is what you do after that natural reaction, you go on being jealous and try to diss them and put them down or you can learn from them and get better at whatever it is you are trying to get better at.
As for the minority thing, if you are being mistaken for Arab/Turkish then work on your self appearance. I have beating the drum about how important dress sense is in Europe ever since I joined this forum, I would say that its more important than your skin color. I am an Indian and I do fairly well in Europe, including France. I have been called many names but all those were from guys. In fact I have been subject to so much cockblocking and hate in Europe that its not even funny. I could have pulled out the race card and said RACIST! But they weren't being racist, they were trying to hit me where it hurts the most because they were hating.
I just got home from a night out with one of my best friends. We double-teamed a couple of girls at the last bar we went to tonight and he ended up going home with his chick and is probably balls deep right now, while I had to settle for a phone number from mine. Am I jealous? Fuck no. I'm grateful for having such an awesome friend who can challenge me to improve myself and who I can learn from by studying what he did right that I didn't. The worst thing in the world in my experience is going out with guys who have no game and won't challenge you to be all that you can be (and will passively cockblock you in the process). I've learned countless moves and lessons from hanging out with my friend and I have no qualms whatsoever with the fact that he got pussy tonight. If anything I'm glad to have played a small part by occupying her friend, who I now have a chance at banging whereas if my friend had no game we would have both been blown out within 5 minutes.
Do not be jealous of those who have mastered what you hope to master, instead cherish their company and learn all you can from them.
Do not be jealous of those who have mastered what you hope to master, instead cherish their company and learn all you can from them.
I'm going to quote Carl Van Loon (Robert De Niro) from Limitless, if you've seen the movie, you will know.
Then again, don't forget that the guys you are jelous of were very likely in your position a long time ago.
Quote:Quote:
That you would even think of that would only show me I weren't prepared you ought to be on your own. I mean you do know that you're a freak? You're deductive powers are a gift from God or chance or a stray shot of sperm. Or whatever, or whoever wrote your life script. A gift. Not earned. And you do not know what I know, because you have not earned those powers. You're careless with those powers. You flaunt them and then you throw them around like a brat with his trust fund. You haven't had to climb up all the grease balls. You haven't been bored blind at fund raiser. You haven't done the time and that first marriage to the girl with the right father. You think you can leap over all on a single bound. You haven't had to bribe or charm or threaten your way to the seat at that table. You don't know how to assess your competition because you haven't competed. Don't make me your competition.
Then again, don't forget that the guys you are jelous of were very likely in your position a long time ago.
Concentrate on making yourself better...jealousy just eats you up and wastes precious time!
Or to put it more poetically by one of my favourite songwriters :
You can gaze out the window get mad and get madder,
throw your hands in the air, say "What does it matter?"
but it don't do no good to get angry,
so help me I know
For a heart stained in anger grows weak and grows bitter.
You become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there
wrapped up in a trap of your very own
chain of sorrow.
John Prine
Or to put it more poetically by one of my favourite songwriters :
You can gaze out the window get mad and get madder,
throw your hands in the air, say "What does it matter?"
but it don't do no good to get angry,
so help me I know
For a heart stained in anger grows weak and grows bitter.
You become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there
wrapped up in a trap of your very own
chain of sorrow.
John Prine
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