[Skank_Hunt]

On the offchance this isn't a troll, if your anxiety is so bad that you feel initiating conversations with girls is torturous and that doesn't change with exposure, you might want to consider places in the world where you can meet girls in the day by handing them your number on a piece of paper then running away (Philippines) ... and where even girls from online will hope to lock you down if you're as much of a catch as you say you are. At 28 it is very bad for your mental health to not have experienced a long-term relationship with a girl, like sex it's sort of a developmental milestone and can screw you up if it goes on for too long. Get to a place where the initial phases are easier for you, heck, the entire thing, because at 28 you're not far from losing it completely.

[brahmabull]

(01-18-2017 03:33 AM)Skank_Hunt Wrote:  

On the offchance this isn't a troll, if your anxiety is so bad that you feel initiating conversations with girls is torturous and that doesn't change with exposure, you might want to consider places in the world where you can meet girls in the day by handing them your number on a piece of paper then running away (Philippines) ... and where even girls from online will hope to lock you down if you're as much of a catch as you say you are. At 28 it is very bad for your mental health to not have experienced a long-term relationship with a girl, like sex it's sort of a developmental milestone and can screw you up if it goes on for too long. Get to a place where the initial phases are easier for you, heck, the entire thing, because at 28 you're not far from losing it completely.

I forgot to mention in the OP but I did add at another post - I was seeing a pretty hot 40+ MILF last year for about 6-8 months. She gave me some really great experience and I got to figure out exactly what I want in a woman although technically I never considered her my girlfriend

I totally agree with you though, not dating is very unhealthy. I should have had multiple girlfriends by now

The basic problem is that, when I was young (teen/college years), I had a good amount of opportunities that I ruined by being awkward. Now I'm a lot more confident but I don't get natural opportunities anymore and I do find cold approaching to be brutally difficult. If I could go back to my teenage years with the attitude and look I have now, I would have had many girlfriends. Dating gets much harder for men out of college simply because lack of access to women. Approaching a chick at the bar or store is about a 1,000 times harder than getting them from your class or house party.

[VincentVinturi]

It's really pretty simple man.

You've got everything covered on the backend.

Sounds like you can get girls into, can close the deal, got your lifestyle and money stuff squared away and you're only really missing the front end.

You've actually got the hard pard down because lots of numbers and interaction on the front end that you can't convert on the back end are worthless.

Here's the thing:

You've got approach anxiety and that's fine.

You're uncomfortable walking up to a random woman and making a respectful but interested and ultimately innocuous comment, and that's fine too.

But what's not fine is not showing up to do what needs to be done in spite of those fears.

That's all you have to do.

Just show up despite all of your nervousness and reservations and limiting beliefs.

Make it a habit.

Start your day by chatting with everybody: barista, little old lady, random dude.

Get your mojo up.

When you see a cute girl just go up and say hi I saw you, you look cute, you live around here? blah blah.

Once you're there in the moment it's way less scary than it is in your head.

You want to be a pussy all your life about this or you really want to get this handled.

You don't need another iota of advice from me or anybody else.

Just go up and make your presentation and do it over and over again and you will develop killer game just through trial and error and this will be sorted in perpetuity.

Go show up.

[brahmabull]

(01-18-2017 01:12 AM)Impavidus Wrote:  

You kill it on dates but dont have the confidence to approach? I call troll.

Actual dates are incredibly easy. I can't figure out how anybody struggles on them

You're out somewhere with somebody who is available and is attracted enough to want to go out with you. Why would you not want to be 100% confident and assertive to where she wants to be around you? I also have good conversational skills and interesting lifestory in addition to all the superficial stuff that I'm very strong on.

Cold approaching is way way harder, you have to think of a somewhat natural way to initiate a conversation where she doesn't think you're a rapist (which I usually have no idea what the hell to say), then you have to find a way to overcome all the obstacles in the way (her headphones at the gym, her cock blocking friends) and find a way to build enough attraction to want to go out with you when she doesn't even know you. Oh and you have to be okay with getting rejected 99% of the time as she likely has a boyfriend/no interest in dating at the moment/doesn't think you are her type even though you have everything in common/*insert stupid and petty reason for getting rejected here*

I laugh so hard when women try to say that dating is as hard for them as it is for men. Women don't even face any dating challenge. The fact that men approach you eliminates every aspect of dating that's difficult.

[brahmabull]

(01-18-2017 04:13 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

You've actually got the hard pard down because lots of numbers and interaction on the front end that you can't convert on the back end are worthless.

I hope you're kidding

the front end is about 10,000 times harder than the back end

that 40+ year old MILF was the first woman I ever went out with for even a month and she was completely head over heels for me and said I was the sweetest guy in the world (eventually we broke it off because I want kids and she can't have any + age difference). Actually having a relationship is easy as hell, being great in bed is easy as hell, etc....

Quote:

Start your day by chatting with everybody: barista, little old lady, random dude.

Get your mojo up.

I do brother. I make friends everywhere I go

Quote:

When you see a cute girl just go up and say hi I saw you, you look cute, you live around here? blah blah.

My mind is boggled how you guys can go up to a random stranger like that and start getting that personal in a conversation immediately

I always figured you need to have some natural conversation and then start getting that personal if she is into you

Quote:

Go show up.

It's tough man

Anytime I'm around women I'm interested in, all I can think off is scenarios of how or why she would be completely uninterested (she likely has a boyfriend, she is just hanging out with her friends and doesn't want to be approached, I'm not her type, etc...). I feel like I'm going to get blown out hard if I initiate contact

[Ouroboros]

Your posts contain a number of contradictions.
You state that you have no idea what a girl you observe wants:

(01-17-2017 09:44 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

the problem for me with approaching is just the fear of the unknown - I have no idea if that girl is single or not, if she is a lesbian or not, if she is even interested in dating at the moment. I hate making someone feel awkward or uncomfortable by hitting on them.

And then you recall identifying IOIs in the supermarket and at work:

(01-17-2017 09:44 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

I went to whole foods yesterday and I could swear 4 or 5 of the girls who were working there were all looking at me at the same time...I have 4 or 5 girls at my job who would love to date me...

You say you lack confidence:

(01-17-2017 09:44 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

Being fat as a kid annihilated my confidence

And then state that:

(01-17-2017 10:36 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

Outside of dating, my life is literally perfect. I have nothing to complain about and soooooo much to be super grateful for.

And

(01-17-2017 10:36 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

I have 10000000% confidence that any date I get will result in a woman wanting to be with me long term

You have to understand what I'm working with. I pick them up in my $70,000 Lexus, I dress very upscale (and I'm a good looking/fit dude to begin with). On the date, I always pay for everything. I can hold a good conversation on almost any subject matter. I make them feel very comfortable. I have an interesting back story (was born in a different country). I am educated. I pay 100% attention to them and make them feel like they're the only woman in the world

I absolutely dominate dates...I just don't ever get any

You don't know when to approach, but you can tell when girls are checking you out at the supermarket? Your confidence was 'crushed', yet you're '10000000%' confident that any woman who goes on a date with you will fall for you and your near-perfect lifestyle, about which you are supremely contented?
You also mentioned somewhere that you make friends wherever you go, so you must know how to go up to someone and start a conversation. That's essentially the skill-set you need to succeed here...

Assuming this isn't some sort of troll post, how do you normally overcome a fear? By confronting it. How do you get good at something? Through practice.

It's pretty obvious that the advice you'll be given is to do both these things by simply approaching, e.g. following the Roosh program. Apply the (perhaps excessive) confidence you have with women in the area of dating to approaching and use the skills you profess to have already.

[brahmabull]

(01-18-2017 04:34 AM)Ouroboros Wrote:  

Your posts contain a number of contradictions.
You state that you have no idea what a girl you observe wants:

And then you recall identifying IOIs in the supermarket and at work:

I get a ton of women who are not attractive/not in shape at all interested in me. The signs are usually obvious

I want somebody cute and in decent shape though and those never make themselves available or interested in me

I sometimes wonder if I really am ugly but on an average week, I get 4-5 people telling me I look fantastic and I am happy with the mirror. Still, I don't get any dating opportunities with anybody cute

Quote:

You say you lack confidence:

And then state that:

You're misreading that. Being a fat kid annihilated my confidence 10-15 years ago

I feel very good about myself now

Quote:

You don't know when to approach, but you can tell when girls are checking you out at the supermarket?

yes those signs are obvious, but again never anybody attractive

Quote:

You also mentioned somewhere that you make friends wherever you go, so you must know how to go up to someone and start a conversation. That's essentially the skill-set you need to succeed here...

Yea I've always made friends everywhere I went but again, making friends is so much easier than getting dates

The thing is that I've never had to "cold approach" to make friends. I always ran into easy opportunities with co workers, people at the gym, friends of friends, etc.... Easy opportunities where I had a natural reason and natural conversation starter to talk to them. I was never approaching a chick at the bar with 10 of her cock blocking friends there.

I find the initial stages of dating to be just about the hardest thing on the planet.

[Ouroboros]

(01-18-2017 04:49 AM)brahmabull Wrote:  

I get a ton of women who are not attractive/not in shape at all interested in me. The signs are usually obvious

I want somebody cute and in decent shape though and those never make themselves available or interested in me

Ah ok, fair enough. Don't let the lack of IOI put you off though - even from my limited experience I've got girls who hadn't acknowledge me in any way previously to go on a date with me after displaying value through conversation - only really attractive guys can coast by on looks alone.

(01-18-2017 04:30 AM)brahmabull Wrote:  

Quote:

Start your day by chatting with everybody: barista, little old lady, random dude.

I do brother. I make friends everywhere I go

(01-18-2017 04:30 AM)brahmabull Wrote:  

The thing is that I've never had to "cold approach" to make friends. I always ran into easy opportunities with co workers, people at the gym, friends of friends, etc.... Easy opportunities where I had a natural reason and natural conversation starter to talk to them. I was never approaching a chick at the bar with 10 of her cock blocking friends there.

VincentVenturi was encouraging you to practise cold approaching random strangers in a platonic manner to gain confidence with cold approaching before diving into the 'deep end' of pick up. This is sound advice. Previously you stated that you make friends wherever you go, but if it's only through 'warm approaches' (colleagues, friends of friends etc) it doesn't sound like you're doing this as much as you could.
Approaching a hot girl in a large group at a bar is a high-pressure situation compared to chatting to an unattractive cleaning lady. Practise on the latter and build up to the former.

[262]

This thread belongs in the newbie forum.

[brahmabull]

(01-18-2017 05:18 AM)Ouroboros Wrote:  

Ah ok, fair enough. Don't let the lack of IOI put you off though - even from my limited experience I've got girls who hadn't acknowledge me in any way previously to go on a date with me after displaying value through conversation - only really attractive guys can coast by on looks alone.

I am really attractive though. Type in Sagi Kalev on google - that's about what I look like without the roided body

The lack of attention from attractive women has been very frustrating to me because I do get a lot of average and below average girls very interested in me

[lapalco]

Dude, get on match.com and eharmony and okcupid etc. Its like shooting fish in a barrel for a guy like you. Get a few girls in the rotation and then start working on your approach.

[Roardog]

Tinder

[brahmabull]

(01-18-2017 08:41 AM)lapalco Wrote:  

Dude, get on match.com and eharmony and okcupid etc. Its like shooting fish in a barrel for a guy like you. Get a few girls in the rotation and then start working on your approach.

the only thing that sucks with online dating is that I don't look great in pics. I look like maybe a 6 to a 6.5/10. In real life, I'm closer to a 7.5 to an 8/10


is a 6.5 good enough for online dating?

[pheonix500000]

Prove that you are not a troll, pm a couple pics of yourself to a senior member and i am sure there a few guys here that would be willing to help you.

[TrifeLife]

'sperg senses tingling

[heavy]

(01-17-2017 08:35 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

I'm 5'10 185...very athletic build (probably 12-13% body fat)
...
six figures at the age of 24
...
My lifestyle is totally awesome - my best friend is rich as hell and i obviously do well so we go to all sorts of fun parties, clubs, bars, restaurants, concerts, sports events, etc... I vacation 4 times a year
...
It's worth noting when I actually get dates, I'm very very good.

A very extreme outlier

(01-17-2017 09:44 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

...I went to whole foods yesterday and I could swear 4 or 5 of the girls who were working there were all looking at me at the same time.

Something sounds fishy...too cocky for his self-effacement

(01-17-2017 10:14 PM)brahmabull Wrote:  

(I will be 8-9% body fat and pretty much look like a fitness model in about a month), have plenty of friends, make friends everywhere I go, live just an awesome lifestyle. I sleep like 5 hours a day because I'm always doing shit haha

Yeah this definitely sounds trollish. No one who looks like a fitness model says they look like a fitness model. And no one with potential to look like a fitness model says they'll look like one **in a month**.

Unless you have severe Aspergers, which I doubt because of your posts, something aint right.

Sorry guys I'm out.

[Huey]

[brahmabull]

Heavy, I realize I'm a very extreme outlier. I've had everything work out perfectly in my life except for dating

I sell cars for living BTW...one of the few industries where you can make big money very young. I sell about 25 cars a month, roughly two to three times national average

[brahmabull]

huey I'm not trolling, im willing to post pics of any of my claims


I realize my story is veh unusual but I'm not lieing to you guys

[Phoenix]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_America

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_ticket

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement_ring

[Huey]

I find it hard to believe that you sell cars for a living and you're scared to approach a random woman on the street.

PM me proof of any of your claims.

[brahmabull]

I knew that was coming. That baffles everyone too

ill post a paystub when I get home later tonight that proves both my success level and my job industry

[brahmabull]

phoenix, I think I would actually do very well in South America - I look sorta Spanish or Puerto Rican. I don't think white girls appreciate me as much as the South Americans would

[wi30]

OP, I found a quick and painless approach strategy that will allow you to crush pussy considering your looks/status.

[Baphomet]

I really miss Tuthmosis...