[Agastya]

Topics like beating approach anxiety and building confidence have been beaten to death both here and on other forums, but I feel like the art of regaining one's confidence needs to be discussed.

I'll use myself as an example. I'd consider myself a game intermediate, with 19 lays and about three years spent actively gaming. I took some personal knocks this year and have found myself getting more negative and pessimistic. This is despite me generally taking care of my body (working out and doing martial arts regularly), doing plenty of travelling, and persisted despite me breaking a long dryspell a month ago. Despite the things that I have accomplished, I find myself not feeling particularly proud of them...life is fine, but I feel like I've lost some confidence and surety nonetheless.

While things like banging random women, working out, and approaching made me feel on top of the world as a newbie, I find it difficult to find anything similar at this stage. I don't know what to do in order to regain my confidence. I'm sure many people in our community have had this issue, so I'd like to work how to address it.

[RustyShackleford]

FWIW, I've had the same feeling. At 27 now I feel like quality has been slipping a bit, still being with mostly younger girls and getting laid semi-regularly but nothing compared to the 'ole days.

For me, meeting new people has opened up a lot more social circles. I rekindled some old friendships, got introduced to their circle, and got a new roommate who is a pretty bad ass dude.

This has opened up my social calendar a LOT and it's a lot easier to meet girls in a warm environment than it is grinding the clubs and bars every weekend. I would suggest meditation + affirmations if people are getting really negative.

My friend has gotten depressed as well in the winter months and he believes it's a part of SAD. Get your vitamin D with a meal in some fat and you should be feeling a bit better.

[Jestx]

I've been feeling the same way past couple months, as I turn 26 soon maybe this is a typical stage of the game but I'd like to hear older guys thoughts. As time goes on and more girls flake/lie/waste time I get more and more jaded compared to just a few years ago...

[Atlanta Man]

A big issue as you get older is you are more discriminant and you have less time due to more responsibility. Another issue is my social circle I grew up with is older so finding ways to access younger more attractive women takes more work. When I was 24 all the women I knew were 20-25 because I went to school with these people and socialized with them regularly- now I am 41 and I have no desire to date any of the women I grew up with. Going out and meeting 18-25 year old women is not as easy because I do not know these girls through everyday interaction, they do not work with me,or study with me. I am also more picky, so if a woman is not attractive to me I will not hit it to break a dry spell. Your early 30's are going to be a great time if you plan it right, just make sure you enjoy it.

[NickDunne]

(01-01-2017 01:43 PM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  

A big issue as you get older is you are more discriminant and you have less time due to more responsibility.

This. Due to work & family, I find that time is becoming an increasingly scarce resource for me. Less and less opportunities to go out and approach which inevitably leads to dropping out of shape in terms of game (thankfully I still hit the gym regularly and at least keep myself physically in shape). I have shitloads of confidence in daily life because I consider myself to be an accomplished person, but that cocky confidence and swagger needed for game needs regular maintenance for us who are not naturals at it.

My advice would be to go on vacation to a good spot and go out & approach as before. It will return.