[Saladin The Crusader]

Hi guys,
I decided to post this after reading lots of stuff here on RVF, even though the newbie guide covers most of the topics but still I felt I should post this question.
So here it goes and imma be as honest as possible.

I use to live in Canada till grade 6, then I moved to India because of my parents.
Now that you know a little about me, we can move onto my problem.

In Canada, we had a very normal class environment. There were no gender issues, everyone use to freely talk to each other, and by everyone I mean boys and girls.
Thus, one can say back then I had no problem initiating a conversation with the opposite gender.

Now in India, my parents got me admitted into this new private school which had just opened(it was their first year). Now, despite of finishing grade 6 in Canada, my parents admitted me back into grade 6 as they though grade 7 would be too much for me.

Back to my problem, now everyone in that school was new, no one new each other.
And there was this thing, boys rarely talked to girls and vice versa. Everyone basically stuck with their gender.
At first I though it's just because everyone is new, but then I started noticing. If anyone use to have a chat with the other gender, they were labeled.
And there was no such thing as just taking, if you are seen with somebody, it'll be a problem. Other girls then labeled that girl as a slut, stupid logic right ? But this happened.
And all this eventually led to trouble and the boy was usually was the one who got in trouble.

Basically it was like, boys maintained minimal interaction with girls.
My brain now told me to follow the norm.
As years went by, I saw that this 'norm' began to decline.
By grade 8, 9 I saw people making out in the classroom, etc.
But for me this didn't happen, my brain now had developed this 'problem', which prevented me from interacting with the opposite gender.

I basically developed this anxiety, whenever I talked to a girl, I felt like imma faint.
I still live with this anxiety/phobia.
I'm currently in grade 12, and have 2 months of school left(just the final exams).
I've applied to universities in Ontario.
And I don't wanna live alone with this problem of mine.
The thought of frosh week is killing me, even though there's like a year for it(it'll be in Sept '17)

Now, I 'can' talk to girls but I can never initiate the conversation. Except when I have to ask for some book or something.

Here are 2 examples,
In India we have like a prom thingy, where we bid farewell to our seniors.

So, there was a girl there constantly staring at me. I didn't realise it until my buddies told me about it.
When I turned, it was the same girl who I sat next to in English class.
I too like her, but being the pussy that I am, I couldn't approach her(I'll always regret that). I told meself that I'll talk to her when she'll be alone. I think at this moment too, I was thinking what others will think, thanks to my previous experiences.
So like a month later, I saw her standing alone in the parking(looked like she was waiting for someone).
I told myself now's the perfect chance, but I failed again. I cursed myself a lot that day....

Second, there's this girl I'd say a 6 to be generous.
In maths class, she always comes and sits next to me. Now, she's clearly better at maths than me, still she'll ask me if I know how to solve it.
After giving the correct answer(which is very rare), I just can't escalate the conversation.
So its like, she asks me something, I answer and then I'm silent.

I'm such a pussy that I can't even say "hi" for god's sake. Lots of girls get offended when I don't reply. But little do they know what's happening inside.

I've also got this complex that my nose looks big. You see I have dust allergy and being in India with all the dust, has taken a toll on my nose.
For my complex, I have my elder brother to blame, he's still in Canada, when ever see him, he makes fun of it. Due to this reason, I hate to get my photo taken, idk why no matter what someone else says, I always feel like my nose's big.
I don't know if it's all in my head or not, but girls still talk to me even when I never initiate the conversation.

As far as my other physical features are concerned, I'm 5'8(hate this fact), 60kgs(133 lbs).
I'm an athletic guy, I do pushups and pull ups everyday(5 sets of 20). I occasionally lift too, but it's not very often as I still wanna gain some height. And I'm not like typical Indian guy you guys imagine, I don't have a dark complexion.
I also don't drink and I don't intend om starting either.

I've totally ruined my highschool years and I don't want the same to happen in university.

I'll move back to Canada in June 2017, and univ starts in Sept, that's like around 3 months in between.
I don't think I acquired the Indian accent, maybe I kinda did, I'm not sure. Even if I did, I'm pretty sure that I'll loose it quick(hopefully).

I'll be applying to Queen's, McMaster, Western, U of T Georgia and maybe Carleton too. Mac will be my first choice thou.

Thanks
PS I wrote this on the 23rd, and waited for my account to be activated and that just happened. It would be great if this time could be reduced.

[ThePianoMan]

Please edit and reduce by 50%.

[Saladin The Crusader]

I can't edit it now, 60 minute rule. The post has very little BS, still I'm sorry for the long post.

[LINUX]

Your problem is that you're weak. No one cares about trivial stuff like who kissed who in your middle/highschool or where you intend to go to college. None of that matters.

You need a vision quest where you cease being a boy an start being a man. You're not going to find that here. You have to find it in the real world and some pain and suffering is going to happen.

The ages 18-24 are going to be very important for you as your brain finishes in development. A lot of times, what you surround yourself with at that time is what you become. In the older days, boys around 18 were sent out to survive, hunt, and bring back food for the village. For some of us, along with our fathers and grandfathers, we were sent to war during those years which obtained the same surviving principles.

Your generations lacks that ability, as you spend your 18-24 years glued to the neon box, social media, and nintendo, without knowing anything about being a real man and surviving.

To wrap it up Saladin, go out into the world and have a vision quest, become a man, and then come back to us. Where should you go? That's your decision. But wherever you go, you should feel that death is close, whether that be by an outside factor or something inside so troubling mentally to the point of breaking you. You don't become a man by making small steps here and there and reading blogs. If you do that, you'll forever be a follower listening to other men telling you how to think and behave.

If you tell me you can't go out into the world and have a vision quest because of x, y, and z. Then there you go, I can't help you.

[thedarkknight]

(12-04-2016 10:56 AM)LINUX Wrote:  

Your problem is that you're weak. No one cares about trivial stuff like who kissed who in your middle/highschool or where you intend to go to college. None of that matters.

You need a vision quest where you cease being a boy an start being a man. You're not going to find that here. You have to find it in the real world and some pain and suffering is going to happen.

The ages 18-24 are going to be very important for you as your brain finishes in development. A lot of times, what you surround yourself with at that time is what you become. In the older days, boys around 18 were sent out to survive, hunt, and bring back food for the village. For some of us, along with our fathers and grandfathers, we were sent to war during those years which obtained the same surviving principles.

Your generations lacks that ability, as you spend your 18-24 years glued to the neon box, social media, and nintendo, without knowing anything about being a real man and surviving.

To wrap it up Saladin, go out into the world and have a vision quest, become a man, and then come back to us. Where should you go? That's your decision. But wherever you go, you should feel that death is close, whether that be by an outside factor or something inside so troubling mentally to the point of breaking you. You don't become a man by making small steps here and there and reading blogs. If you do that, you'll forever be a follower listening to other men telling you how to think and behave.

If you tell me you can't go out into the world and have a vision quest because of x, y, and z. Then there you go, I can't help you.

I've been following your posts and, as a 25 year old boy, your posts are always inspirational.

[Saladin The Crusader]

You're right, thank you for bring me back to reality.
I agree with the darknight, it was not only guiding but also inspirational.

But I do have a single question, what should my vision quest be, should it be focused on becoming successful in life(getting a degree) first using my current social skillset or should it be something else ?
Manier times, I use 'studies should be my priority' excuse, is there a balance to these things or the only way to do things is one at a time.
Or should I just go with the flow and see where life takes me....

[LINUX]

(12-04-2016 02:02 PM)Saladin The Crusader Wrote:  

You're right, thank you for bring me back to reality.
I agree with the darknight, it was not only guiding but also inspirational.

But I do have a single question, what should my vision quest be, should it be focused on becoming successful in life(getting a degree) first using my current social skillset or should it be something else ?
Manier times, I use 'studies should be my priority' excuse, is there a balance to these things or the only way to do things is one at a time.
Or should I just go with the flow and see where life takes me....

A vision quest is something that makes you unbreakable when the rest of the world falls apart.

Either go out into the world and find it, or maybe one day it'll come to you. It's uncertain. But you'll know when it happens, because you'll no longer see things the same way as everyone else and you begin to understand mortality, suffering and an imperfect life. To put it in "manosphere talk". If you're walking down the street and you see one guy taking the "blue pill" and one guy taking the "red pill", you offer them both a drink of water, and you continue on your journey until the inevitable day that death calls your name and in the darkness you break even.

Good luck.

[Drix]

Similar to my life story. I can't give you a solid post as other experienced members, I just started with game, but i am getting improvements. My simple advices is that You should stop worrying about stupid things.

-Big Nose and height. You don't need to be a man 9 or 10 in looks to bang girls. If you don't accept yourself and give excuses, You won't get nothing.

-People don't care anything about you. Who cares if you are indian, the accent. Everything is in your mind. Build a strong frame and create your own world.

I read two times your thread, I identify part of myself there. I also have a big nose, short height, shy to talk with girls in high school(i regret too), but at the end, it doesn't matter the past, your present and future is the most important now. Become the best of yourself and you won't regret again.

All of us have passion and life mission, discover yours and become a man. I wish you luck. The forum has enough resources, i really recommend you to read Giovonny and WIA's post. You would learn a lot from them.

[Saladin The Crusader]

Thanks man

[Schlep]

@ Saladin

Linux is one of the best guys on this forum. Always goes out of his way to help a newbie and is a stand up guy. Click on his user name and read his treads.

Remember something very important. The fact that your not sitting in jail and haven't put a gun to your head makes you a winner. Everyday is about discovering new things and learning about life.

Best of luck on your journey