[panknows24]

Hi RVFers,

I've never posted an analysis on any particular date, so here's one I had last night that I thought didn't go as well as I'd imagined.

About the chick. 21 y/o, Asian

Rough stats about the date:
- Met through online on Tinder, had a brief exchange about our profiles and organised a meet up
- Started at a quiet bar for some comfort building, to a more enclosed bar for kino and a pool bar for even more kino. Ended up playing a game of pool and "losing", so I could show her around my office. She was open to small bursts of kino but wasn't very receptive to any hand holding (might dial that down a bit).
- Figured I couldn't bang close this one, so I went for a kiss close. Met a lot of resistance. Eventually I got bored and dropped her off home.
- On the way home I turned more silent/stoic with her attempting to reignite the conversation throughout the ride. Tried one more time after dropping her off but had to settle for a peck on the cheek. Played it off with some playful hahas and went home to hit the hay. Was a little peeved since most dates had a make out at some point. Haven't texted her since.

What I think I did well?

- Kino and physical escalation (maybe not so much on the hand holding part - too couply?)
- Asserted a good IDGAF attitude and pretty much A&Aed all her shit tests
- Gave off an "adventurous/naughty" vibe as she described it
- Played a lot of compliance tests: like telling her to get me drink, etc which she did
EDIT: outstared her every single time

What I think I didn't do so well in?

- Gave her too much information about myself (or is this over-analysis)
- Kind of put myself in the boyfriend zone? At the point we left the office venue, I was considering taking her to a taxi but decided to go with the drop off

One strange thing about the date was towards the end, where we were talking about childhood similarities and she was sharing her growing up (quite similar to me, boarding school -> language school -> etc). Honestly, I'm not sure if that is a pro or a con at this stage haha.

I wouldn't normally consider a second date but the chemistry was good and I think I can push for more in a second date. I don't get strong slut-vibes off this girl but at the same time, I would not be surprised if she was entangled with another guy (this is online dating after all).

What do you guys think? Should I next this girl or suggest a meet-up in the coming week? Going into a second date is almost like sailing into uncharted waters for me, any advice or criticisms on my game would much appreciated!

[Satoshi]

(12-04-2016 03:55 AM)panknows24 Wrote:  

I wouldn't normally consider a second date but the chemistry was good and I think I can push for more in a second date. I don't get strong slut-vibes off this girl but at the same time, I would not be surprised if she was entangled with another guy (this is online dating after all).

I'd say, from this premises, do a second date.

I never try to kiss a girl if I don't have the logistics to bang her there, unless she initiates kissing.

[XXL]

One thing that I noticed instantly is her resistance to hand holding etc. That's a big sign that something is off cause touching hands is the easiest and most natural way to break physical barrier. If a girl is uncomfortable with that then doing something more intense like trying to kiss is very likely to fail.

This particular girl is either more conservative about love game or is shy about guys in general. Therefore you have to go step by step with her especially with touch especially in typical dating setting.

Since you use pua lingo, next time you see her try some kino compliance tests first just to see where you stand with her. Don't take it personally if she fails them, just take notice and adjust your game according to that. Bunch of practical tests. All of those should be done in right moment when it makes to do it.

+ reach out your hand and see if she grabs it, if she does then gently pull her closer to you [good when there is some tension in the air between you both and you want her get closer to you]
+ give her shoulder and see if she takes it [when you want to move her around somewhere]
+ stand bit closer to her and see if she takes a step back or not
+ when you get closer to her stare at her eyes and lips [triangular gazing thing] and see how she reacts
+ observe how she's looking at you, pay attention to glances at your lips and lower body
+ take her to a sofa, notice where she sits and how closer to you
+ [same with escalating hard] when you pin her to the wall while kissing hold her one hand, if she starts becoming uncomfortable she will first try to release her locked hand and you will feel it instantly so you will know where to stop

Things like these should give you information where she's at and where you're at with her.

If you want I can write about general investment hoops and compliance ladders. This girl seems like she needs to be triggered a bit

[Vincent Chase]

She's either not into you very much (or at all) or she's a shy conservative asian girl.

If you want to test the waters send her some value text of you doing something cool and see if and how warm her response is and take it from there.

That's assuming you actually want to see her again. After this sort of date she may wonder why you want to see her again and may rationalise that it's only because have few other options. As such a flake may be likely. She did invest at least a little bit however and it depends on how much "fun" she thought she had.

Just send her a text and see how it goes.

[ThePianoMan]

Are we talking FOB asian or just asian descent but western raised? That makes a huge difference.

FOB asians have huge walls up and do extreme shit testing. Resistance will be high and you will have to pay the price over multiple dates to get that guard down. I'd move with caution on that if this is the case.

If she's a western raised Asian girl, I'd next her. Sounds like she's not interested. If she is, she'll contact you soon to see why you ghosted on her. I'd spend my energy setting up someone new. Everything you described sounded like rejection into the friend zone.

[Sam Malone]

Regarding hand holding, when you're unsure of the situation: If you're walking somewhere, offer her your arm. It's not hand-holding, which seems more associated with relationships. You can also put your hands in your pockets (thumbs in, too !!) and offer her the loop created between your arm and torso. She can hold on to you through the loop, without it seeming like such a 'romantic' gesture on your part.

"Losing" a game of pool.. was it an 'obvious' loss, meaning, was it ridiculously apparent that you were throwing the game ? If so, don't do it again. Play to win, otherwise it gives the appearance that you're patronizing her. If you can throw the game without making it look like you're throwing the game, then that's a different story.

[XPQ22]

Hate to say it, but it sounds like she just wasn't that into you.

Quote:

She was open to small bursts of kino but wasn't very receptive to any hand holding (might dial that down a bit).

I think that's a mistake. It's best to break the "touch barrier" early, and even more so with Tinder chicks who may or may not be going on a half-dozen dates a week. What are we here for, miss? Are we here for a romantic date, or are we here so I can entertain you or you can interview me for a job?

A "date" where she isn't even willing to take my hands is not a date. I can have a pleasant conversation with the lady from the HR department. She probably won't hold my hand either.

I'm not going to throw myself at her ten minutes in, but if she likes my pictures and text game well enough to meet IRL, and she's still sitting next to me and chatting fucking hour and a half later and then pulls away when I try to take her hand, she is WASTING MY TIME. Sitting there all that time and still can't decide if you like me enough to touch me, eh? Still not sure? That's a load of crap. If you'd thought I was catfishing you or I looked gross in person compared to my pics you woulda been outta there in five minutes.

You're goin' on five dates a week, trying to leverage that pussy and get the best deal. Can't let every guy hold your hand, cuz then you're just a common tart. I know. I'm sorry. But I don't play lotteries.

It's an unfortunate truth, but it's not just my own hypothesis, I've had online hoes themselves tell me this is how they operate. Fact: the majority of online chicks these days are serial daters. If you're looking for girls to bang quickly and not play that lottery for date after date hoping she'll come around on day 7, you have to screen hard and early.

Quote:

Figured I couldn't bang close this one, so I went for a kiss close. Met a lot of resistance.

From the way she was lukewarm even about touching, this was predictable. I definitely don't try to kiss girls who are skittish even about touching.

I think there are a small percentage of girls online, maybe 10%, who are not hyper-selective pussy-leveragers. These girls are looking to rapidly meet a guy they like to have sex with, not stretch the process out forever. A cynic might say that these are the girls who aren't currently getting banged out by someone else. Whatever the reason, this type of girl is going to be DTF the first attractive-to-her guy with tight game she comes across. With this type of online girl, if she agrees to even meet up it means you're already pretty high on the list.

They're out there. But it takes good screening, and the pussy-leveragers are sometimes very good about feigning high levels of interest to keep you on the line. The "touch barrier" is one thing they can't fake.

[panknows24]

Hmm good responses, pretty much in line with what I had in mind. Might shoot her a text sometime later in the week and test the waters. If no escalation by date 2, nexted for sure. In the meantime, time to fill up my calendar with new dates ;D

Any good suggestions for date 2 activities though? This is just for future reference too, in case I want to go past a first date. Normally I'd suggest dinner at my house, but sadly that logistical pathway is out of my reach haha.

[XPQ22]

(12-05-2016 03:27 AM)panknows24 Wrote:  

Any good suggestions for date 2 activities though? This is just for future reference too, in case I want to go past a first date. Normally I'd suggest dinner at my house, but sadly that logistical pathway is out of my reach haha.

In general I'm pretty opposed to "bar dates" these days, particularly with iGirls. They're too run of the mill and low-investment and are what everyone does.

In the summer I've gotten my most action suggesting frozen yogurt then going to a street fair/concert//walk in the park.

In the winter I had good results suggesting the science museum or art gallery.

I'll sometimes do a bar date, but it better be within about ten minutes of her place or mine. Bar dates where there are no immediate logistical options are a waste of time; you might as well not go.

Part of screening is seeing whether she's willing to invest a little more than just turning up at the local watering hole at 7 pm in her work clothes.

From your description and how it seems you're kind of overthinking this date it seems like you may be somewhat new to online game. Hopefully you'll hear from her, but don't sweat it if not. I've had a decent amount of experience by this point and sort of lame dates like the one you describe happen more often than not; if I'd had the same experience on any given Saturday night I probably wouldn't find it worth a post, but that's just because one gets a little jaded over time. The ones that aren't lame make it all worth it though, so keep at it.

[panknows24]

Thanks XPQ22, art gallery date would actually be a good proposition since I actually wanted to go myself. There was a time I proposed more outdoorsy dates like hikes and what not but I think that's too much investment for someone you just met online.

It's not really over thinking, rather just having some ideas for future occurrences, etc, all part of the journey to becoming a jaded player haha

[RatInTheWoods]

Look, its not a disaster for a first date. Seems it went well, don't worry, not everyone gets anal on the first date in the real world.

Hit her up for a second date, and keep doing exactly what you are doing, you are on track.

She is probably a THIRD DATE KATE.

[panknows24]

But I always get anal on the first date.. jks haha

Update:

Didn't reply in the end but she eventually messaged me asking when I was free. Just came back from the second date and was able to break that touch barrier mentioned earlier, still couldn't close with a kiss though although now I'm inclined to believe she's just a bit more guarded (she's actually 19 I found out lol). That being said though, always on the lookout for red flags and potential stringing along. She's interested in a third date, so we'll see how that goes. Going to continue with what I'm trying now.

And before anyone mentions one-itis, I'm still on the constant prowl for other women. Closed with 2 other girls this week and working on a couple of leads through online dating (seems to be most effective for me, but I will want to transition to cold approaches, been practising with cashiers and other random people). I do love abundance.