If You Were 18 Again, What Would You Do Differently?
10-31-2018, 12:01 PM
There are a few things I could say I would do differently
But, one thing I've learnt as I've got older is you take for granted the lessons you learnt, the knowledge you acquired and the character you built from those things
Would you have the same level of emotional leverage and experience to draw back on if you didn't do those things?
Would you be as greatful and appreciative as you are now if you hadn't experienced pain, loss and failure previously
It's hard to say
Some of my biggest 'failures' at the time, have turned out to be the exact things that have put me on the path I'm on now. They were a puzzle piece. It was almost necessary everything happen the way it did for things to be the way they are now
If the things that didn't turn out the way I wanted, did turn out the way I wanted, would I actually be wanting to do what I'm doing now and have regret anyway? (you've got to remember our brain has a habit of looking back on our past and idealising things, and also forgetting a lot of the bad)
This is why reminiscing can be a dangerous game, and it's better to focus on the future.
...having said all of that. If there were 6 things I would tell my 18 year old self, it's this:
1) no matter which way you look at life, money is the name of the game (despite what we are told about money being evil). Get your money sorted first. Even if you are not a material person.
Get to financial independence (meeting your basic living costs) as quick as possible, and build some passive income so you aren't continually trading your time for money into your future
You don't need to be rich or famous. You just need enough to live and do the thing you want to in life. It's better if you don't clutter up your life with huge businesses and lots of possessions you don't need that only add stress
After that point, then build skills and build your life out to both enjoy life, and create the change in yourself, and then the world you think will move society in a more positive direction (use all your money to do good things if you want to)
Having money sorted and projects to work on are like that rock you can always go back to in life to keep you steady. It gives you stability and peace of mind through breakups, deaths, illnesses, and so on
2) understand that 99.9% of people in life are flawed in so many ways, and are slaves to their own biases, addictions, inability to challenge and change their beliefs, sins (jealously, greed, gluttony etc) and their fears.
Most of the issues we have in society would be fixed by now if we were able to see the big picture/long term and not just what is in front of us, separate our own needs from the needs of society, and separate our emotions from logic. But, that is not the case. Most people are absolute zombies. Accept it and work with what it is.
Based on this flaw in our biology, there are also very few people that you can actually help grow and improve their lives. Focus on growing yourself, and if someone shows the initiative to ask for help, appreciates that help, and ask constructive questions for more help - only then help them. You'll save so much time and stress.
If you find emotionally aware, driven, kind, appreciative people - make sure they know how much you value them.
3) Give yourself at least a decade (from 18 to the age of around 30) to see all the patterns in life and society that will help you refine your decision making process of what to do next. I was way too hard on myself for not being able to progress at certain points of my life to the next level, when I should have just accepted that some things just take time and relaxed a little more.
4) Understand that unicorns do not exist. Every single woman is fatally flawed in one way, shape or form. The trick is to live the best life you can, and if a girl comes along naturally, you need to know how to screen her, and set the boundaries early. A woman must show she respects you, listens to you, and can communicate with you when there are problems if the relationship is to last long term and stay healthy. You should have zero doubt she is willing to do anything for you to stick around for the long term. She should theoretically be given the chance to leave you for any other man or any other person or thing and still choose to stay with you. Tell her you want to be with her, but she is welcome to leave at any point, and see what she says and does. Be slow to get into a relationship, and quick to break up and move on from one if you see repeated destructive behavior from a partner, or red flags popping up at any point.
Having said that, don't be a lazy entitled pig. Put the work into yourself to fix all the shittiness and rough edges in yourself first, and into being the best man you can be that deserves that sort of standard from a woman.
Be excellent, and expect excellent.
The irony is that this puts you into some level of isolation because there's very few excellent single sane people out there.
That's ok though - if it happens it happens, if not, find other productive or fulfilling things to do.
5) Care about your health. Exercise at least 10 minutes a day, and learn to eat healthy while still in your 20's. Get in good shape and stay in good shape.
6) Life is not fair. Remind yourself of that daily. You or someone you know could literally die tomorrow. There is only so much control you have over it and the rest is random or chance. Accept unfair or illogical things and move on and make the best of the rest of your life. Find things to smile, laugh and be positive about. Don't be so serious 24/7. Set time aside to be silly and joke around and take the edge off