as I hit 30, most of my friends are either in LTR's or married. Working, exercising, and hooking up leaves me little time to make solid contacts with good dudes. Its harder to have a "crew." what do you guys do to meet solid people? In my city (LA), I feel like its notoriously hard to make friends, though girls are pretty easy to come by. thoughts?
How do you guys make friends after 30?
Quote: (10-09-2016 01:15 PM)laq8ty Wrote:
as I hit 30, most of my friends are either in LTR's or married. Working, exercising, and hooking up leaves me little time to make solid contacts with good dudes. Its harder to have a "crew." what do you guys do to meet solid people? In my city (LA), I feel like its notoriously hard to make friends, though girls are pretty easy to come by. thoughts?
This subject has been discussed many times on the forum. There's some good advice in this thread: thread-50832.html
Be friendly, be talkative. I make friends with other males in my industry.
We have our livelihoods in common and help each other when appropriate.
After 30, friends that are needy and can't assist you in your life in some fashion are useless.
Networking is friendship for adults.
Network with people in your field and when you find people whose company you enjoy, befriend them.
Other than that maybe join a MMA or Boxing gym or possibly even BBJ if you enjoy rolling on the floor with other sweat-covered men.
We have our livelihoods in common and help each other when appropriate.
After 30, friends that are needy and can't assist you in your life in some fashion are useless.
Networking is friendship for adults.
Network with people in your field and when you find people whose company you enjoy, befriend them.
Other than that maybe join a MMA or Boxing gym or possibly even BBJ if you enjoy rolling on the floor with other sweat-covered men.
Play basketball on a local playground
Quote: (10-09-2016 01:15 PM)laq8ty Wrote:
as I hit 30, most of my friends are either in LTR's or married. Working, exercising, and hooking up leaves me little time to make solid contacts with good dudes. Its harder to have a "crew." what do you guys do to meet solid people? In my city (LA), I feel like its notoriously hard to make friends, though girls are pretty easy to come by. thoughts?
This has been my experience as well.
In the other threads, I had the same basic advice
1) If you have hobbies, find people in said hobbies, and try to hang out socially when not doing the hobby. A beer after the activity is a good move.
2) Community college/Classes - somewhat similar, but something about going to school and connecting with classmates is one of those special little social scripts that have been hammered into us since kindergarten.
In 2016, i'd take Mystery's 2014 advice.
So Fuzzy Hat and Moon Boots is a master of a technique that most guys nowadays think is overkill. To me, it's the most vital thing you can learn in night game.
You see a cute chick/hot chick with her group of friends. In 2016, you talk to the obstacles on a minimal level and then try to pull the girl out of her group for a second. Maybe you can pull her home, maybe you can get a bathroom bang, but probably get a a flaky #. The idea is that you don't want to get into a big battle with the group, or suckered into some long ass conversation about shit you don't know. Especially when you don't know how to hold court. That's the devolution of the game, but it is what it is.
But ultimately the better game is to charm the group, and then pull. Reduces the objections on their part, and builds trust with the girl that you are a normal cool guy.
I digress.
Mr. Goggles on Top Hat advocates this thing called "merge set".
So if you're talking to two girls, where you can't really pull the hot girl away from her friend, rather than deputize some guy standing around to be your wing - you introduce the two girls to another group of people. Now the obstacle has someone to talk to. And you can talk to the main chick you want.
This is a rough definition of "merge" set.
If you end up banging the chick out, you don't just delete her #.
You invite her and her friend out the next night, to some club. Meet, greet, and meet other strangers.
One, this builds you up with the girl you banged.
Two, bringing people to an event, usually makes the event better
Three, you're walking with with a couple of girls - social proof/pre-selection.
Four, new groups of people (girls and guys) are easier to open when you have chicks on your arms.
Whatever people you meet that night, you invite out for the next night.
And last week's people to this week.
Last months' people to a Sunday Funday or a Barbecue. Or you're having a scene and watching the game.
Now you're in the middle of a social circle - that's mostly built on girls you've met and or fucked and their friends.
If you're a cool dude, they'll want to hang out and meet the other girls. Girls are naturally social.
Now you have some *real* value - because girls like to connect with other girls and other people - and you can invite XYZ girls to meet your non-game circles.
Now you can do this with your non-game circles.
Meeting new girls and new guys all through your game skill of putting strangers together.
And you're meeting new people all the time. Definition of a social life.
Amongs those new people, you'll find other guys and girls that you're on the same wavelength with. Most of these folks are gonna fly in and out of your life. But if you're meeting new folks and making an effort to connect - you'll find like minded people.
Those become your real friends.
WIA
Kind of obvious, but if you spend your spare time working out and hooking up, choose some buddies to do it with. Hooking up with friends is usually both more fun and successful, looking back, I got my best lays with friends, and introduced a lot of their girlfriends/hookups while I was with them. Working out with friends is great for motivation too. Just socializing for the sake of it without a genuine interest to build it on gets stiff easily.
Props to WIA as always. He's a fucking genius OP, read every post he's written.
Do you have hobbies? I just moved to a new city. It's easy as hell to meet new friends. And it's also easy as hell to know which guys are legitimately cool and which guys are putting up a front. Game at its finest.
Be active. If you're a fighter, join a gym. If you play hockey, join a men's league. Just put yourself out there.
Or use meetup.com. Find a group that sounds cool and put yourself out there. You really don't have an excuse. Make an effort.
Do you have hobbies? I just moved to a new city. It's easy as hell to meet new friends. And it's also easy as hell to know which guys are legitimately cool and which guys are putting up a front. Game at its finest.
Be active. If you're a fighter, join a gym. If you play hockey, join a men's league. Just put yourself out there.
Or use meetup.com. Find a group that sounds cool and put yourself out there. You really don't have an excuse. Make an effort.
I'm not 30 yet, but the older I get the easier it gets.
I have a more interesting life, more things to talk about, more social experience and I'm betting at judging who is worth my time.
In my early 20s I was good at making party acquaintances, but no real friends apart from childhood ones. Now that I'm more selective, I'm better at turning acquaintances into trustworthy friends.
As long as you go to social events (languages exchanges, meetup.com, salsa nights, couchsurfing parties...) you should be fine eventually. Nobody ever made friends by staying home.
I have a more interesting life, more things to talk about, more social experience and I'm betting at judging who is worth my time.
In my early 20s I was good at making party acquaintances, but no real friends apart from childhood ones. Now that I'm more selective, I'm better at turning acquaintances into trustworthy friends.
As long as you go to social events (languages exchanges, meetup.com, salsa nights, couchsurfing parties...) you should be fine eventually. Nobody ever made friends by staying home.
Well, going to the gym and getting involved in different programs like basketball and tennis works for me.
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
It all revolves around common interests and pursuits, for example members from this forum would find it easier to become friends than with someone like a beta office chodes who love conformity.
meetups, twitter, karaoke, going out being talkative and social, its easy to bump into people who have a common interest
meetups, twitter, karaoke, going out being talkative and social, its easy to bump into people who have a common interest
Did almost the EXACT thing that WIA prescribed above last week.
Met a girl from online Friday evening. Had drinks, back to my place, and we had some fun.
The next day I invited her and her friend out to a club for Saturday night. She brought her super hot girlfriend along. The three of us ended up talking to a ton of people that night (much easier to approach when you have 2 hot girls with you) and ended up inviting a third girl back to my place for an after party.
Next thing I know I'm at my place with 3 hots girls drinking until the Sun came up.
Met a girl from online Friday evening. Had drinks, back to my place, and we had some fun.
The next day I invited her and her friend out to a club for Saturday night. She brought her super hot girlfriend along. The three of us ended up talking to a ton of people that night (much easier to approach when you have 2 hot girls with you) and ended up inviting a third girl back to my place for an after party.
Next thing I know I'm at my place with 3 hots girls drinking until the Sun came up.
![[Image: 66751171.jpg]](https://cdn.meme.am/instances/66751171.jpg)
Quote: (10-09-2016 01:15 PM)laq8ty Wrote:
as I hit 30, most of my friends are either in LTR's or married. Working, exercising, and hooking up leaves me little time to make solid contacts with good dudes. Its harder to have a "crew." what do you guys do to meet solid people? In my city (LA), I feel like its notoriously hard to make friends, though girls are pretty easy to come by. thoughts?
Easiest question ever.
Step 1 - Travel
Step 2 - Use the forum's meet up Section
Step 3 - Rinse - Repeat
After a year you should have made plenty of contacts with the like minded gentlemen. Some of them will have become your friends.
Quote: (10-09-2016 01:15 PM)laq8ty Wrote:
as I hit 30, most of my friends are either in LTR's or married. Working, exercising, and hooking up leaves me little time to make solid contacts with good dudes. Its harder to have a "crew." what do you guys do to meet solid people? In my city (LA), I feel like its notoriously hard to make friends, though girls are pretty easy to come by. thoughts?
If you live in a big city meetup.com is your best bet.
1. Jiu jitsu and kickboxing classes. Attracts the type of dudes you want to be around. Crossfit is also a good way.
2. I switched my law office over to WeWork office space. Best business decision I ever made. Now I work around a bunch of people, instead of my old office which was quiet (although large). Good way to meet girls, too. For $250 a month, you can also just work from the space without a dedicated office. Free coffee, free beer, and hot chicks running around everywhere. If you're self employed and rent office space, definitely consider switching to WeWork:
https://www.wework.com
In my opinion, this is the way of the future, like Uber and AirBnB. It's a better way to work and meet people.
3. Any masculine hobby will result in having more masculine friends. Tattoos, motorcycles, jiu jitsu, Crossfit, bike riding, bodybuilding, RooshV forum, being in a band, cigar smoking, etc.
I don't really care if you like anime, craft beer, Pokemon Go, but these aren't great hobbies for dudes. Neither is being a "foodie". It's fine if you like these things, but don't expect to meet masculine dudes at an anime convention.
2. I switched my law office over to WeWork office space. Best business decision I ever made. Now I work around a bunch of people, instead of my old office which was quiet (although large). Good way to meet girls, too. For $250 a month, you can also just work from the space without a dedicated office. Free coffee, free beer, and hot chicks running around everywhere. If you're self employed and rent office space, definitely consider switching to WeWork:
https://www.wework.com
In my opinion, this is the way of the future, like Uber and AirBnB. It's a better way to work and meet people.
3. Any masculine hobby will result in having more masculine friends. Tattoos, motorcycles, jiu jitsu, Crossfit, bike riding, bodybuilding, RooshV forum, being in a band, cigar smoking, etc.
I don't really care if you like anime, craft beer, Pokemon Go, but these aren't great hobbies for dudes. Neither is being a "foodie". It's fine if you like these things, but don't expect to meet masculine dudes at an anime convention.
This may be somehow regional, but where I live guys at the gym are very social and talkative. It shouldn't be difficult to strike a conversation with someone you have common interests with.
Work is an obvious one since you spend most of your time there. Are you a social person?
Work is an obvious one since you spend most of your time there. Are you a social person?
Same as before 30. Find a hobby, join a class etc. The only caveat is that as you get older, it gets more difficult to make friends because as an already formed person, you have less tolerance for people who have a different personality or lifestyle.
While traveling, it is easier. I find language groups from Facebook and Meetup.com.
Search "Ukranian-English language exchange" on Facebook. You will find a group. You have to talk in this group, so it is very easy to meet someone.
Search "Ukranian-English language exchange" on Facebook. You will find a group. You have to talk in this group, so it is very easy to meet someone.
I am extremely sociable guy. But very few if any good friends. You will be lucky to find a friend who has no ulterior motive.
I talk to everyone I see. It's good for the black book, but if you gotta life, you simply don't got time for friends.
You should take some time to be alone. It's great for game. Very seldom talked about. But solitude and game creates ridiculous performance.
The best "friends" to have your are your competitors.
I talk to everyone I see. It's good for the black book, but if you gotta life, you simply don't got time for friends.
You should take some time to be alone. It's great for game. Very seldom talked about. But solitude and game creates ridiculous performance.
The best "friends" to have your are your competitors.
Quote: (10-09-2016 01:19 PM)chicane Wrote:
What are "friends"?
Get a dog.
Make more enemies. "Friends" are overrated and catch you when your guard is down.
Acquaintances are very useful. That's just being sociable. But, In my experience, when your own your way to greater things... It's better to travel alone.
All of the friends I've made most recently have been from the gym and the forum.
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