[destiny]

I'm a little pissed off and disappointed at what just happened.

I met a chick online from Latvia last year. I've been talking to her sporadically every 1-2 times a month to maintain interest level while I was working on my finances to return back on a multi country trip back to Europe. Interest levels appeared very high (fast replies, long messages, questions, etc) until like 2 weeks ago. I booked my flight to Latvia and Poland a few months back and I'm suppose to be flying out tomorrow night. I've been flirting with her for a while now and we even made plans to hang out when I arrive. In fact, she insisted on coming to the airport to see me when I arrived or to see me the following day because we had a lot in common and a strong connection (at least I thought). Her social media appears clean, no attention whoring, no guys shown, etc. when I was screening her. Everything appeared fine and dandy until late last night while I was doing some work.

I received this message from her:

"Hei ! How are you? Somehow Im not getting your messages, just saw them in my email ! Are You ready for Your trip? Im a bit busy with work, but will definately make a time for you. Maybe even if it will be possible introduce you to my friends and i guess now my boyfriend I recently started to see theough one of my childhood friend?
Btw, it is cold here! Pack some warm clothes!"

When I saw that I was like wtf! You tell me this now? After I booked a flight to fly half way around the world to see you and then you decide to get a boyfriend. Needless to say I'm kind of pissed right now.

I wasn't sure if I read her message right because of her English so I tried to casually clarifying it and asked her if she's sure its alright with her boyfriend that she hangs out with another guy and this was her response.

"One time yes and then we can hang out some day together and show u around"

I'd probably be even more pissed if it weren't for the fact that I also was talking to several other girls and have another girl lined up in Poland. I'm pretty sure she was single up until like a few weeks ago when I noticed her behavior changed a bit. I suspected there was a guy in the picture but this confirms it.
So now I'm not exactly sure how to proceed with her.

Option 1: Cut her loose and move on
Option 2: Meet up with her and try to escalate things
Option 3: Meet up with her, show her a great time and what she is missing out on but remain platonic and get her to introduce me to her friends and then game her friends.

Option 1: I don't think option 1 is really an option because it seems like a total waste because I can still use her to get into her social circle and hook up with her friends plus its always good to befriend a local so they can take care of you and show you around. Plus it makes me look butt hurt and just reinforces that she made the right decision.

Option 2: I'm really debating this. On the one hand, it doesn't seem like they are really serious. I don't even think I would consider them a couple yet as they probably just went out 2-3 times so I think I can still get her but at the same time my moral compass is spinning like crazy. I don't like getting involved with girlfriends with boyfriends but in this case, it sounds like it just happened. I'm not sure what to do with this second option. I think if I hang out with her one on one and I can show her a better time and exhibit higher value I can pluck her away from him but now this raises the question, if she is willing to hook up with me while having a boyfriend, what's to stop her from doing the same if I was the boyfriend? My respect for her would be diminished.

Option 3: This seems like a safe option. I still demonstrate high value and show her a good time while get integrated into her social circle and then work on her friends when she introduces them to me. In addition, I can also use her friends to make her jealous by showering them with attention while ignoring her. Also if her friends take a liking to me, I will have handled pre-selection, making me the more attractive option. Bonus points if she has hot friends and I hook up with them. I'm pretty sure this will drive her crazy and make her have second thoughts about the other guy.

Also there is one more issue that is kind of bugging me. She wanted to introduce me to her new boyfriend. WTF! Why the **** would I want to meet him? I don't even know how I would react in that situation or if its even a good idea. It's like a double edged sword. On one hand, I can get my ass kicked or feel like **** watching them make out and stuff but on the other hand, its an opportunity to covertly tool the guy and demonstrate higher value by being chilled and relaxed and extra friendly to the guy. I'm pretty sure if she tries to set this up, its some sort of **** test to see which one of us is more alpha and help her make a decision. If I can remain calm, and relaxed while having a fun time I'll outclass him especially if he gets jealous or emotional but at the same time, he can also do the same thing to me. In either case, it doesn't seem like a good choice especially considering my level of game, however the experience would be invaluable for the future and I would have a reference point on how to act for future cases. I've never been in a situation like this before.

What do you guys think? Should I cut my loses and move on, or still try with this broad while gaming other chicks as well?

[John_Galt]

TL;DR

What I got from this is you got oneitis for some girl and expected her to be "loyal" to you despite the fact that she may never see you again? And now you're angry about it?

Sorry man, but you won't find much sympathy here.

Here's what you do: You go to Latvia, you game other girls, you get laid, you have fun. Who cares about this special snowflake?

DO NOT meet this girl, DO NOT hang out with her and her boyfriend. Yes, it WOULD BE POSSIBLE to "outgame" him, sure, but there are two major problems:

1. You are NOT in the right mental state to pull this off. You're far too needy at this point.

2. She's not a unicorn. Stop pedaling her. You seem to think that she's some mystical beauty and somehow this is a great loss. It isn't. Anytime a girl behaves in a way that makes me reconsider my relationship or feelings towards her, I silently say a prayer of thanks, because she just saved me from wasting more of my valuable time.

[John_Galt]

On second thought, if you can keep your cool and not be needy, and mentally/emotionally let go of this girl, meeting up with her and having her show you around, and being friends with her (ACTUAL friends, not beta orbiter friends) it wouldn't be a bad idea.

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 08:43 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

TL;DR

What I got from this is you got oneitis for some girl and expected her to be "loyal" to you despite the fact that she may never see you again? And now you're angry about it?

Sorry man, but you won't find much sympathy here.

Here's what you do: You go to Latvia, you game other girls, you get laid, you have fun. Who cares about this special snowflake?

DO NOT meet this girl, DO NOT hang out with her and her boyfriend. Yes, it WOULD BE POSSIBLE to "outgame" him, sure, but there are two major problems:

1. You are NOT in the right mental state to pull this off. You're far too needy at this point.

2. She's not a unicorn. Stop pedaling her. You seem to think that she's some mystical beauty and somehow this is a great loss. It isn't. Anytime a girl behaves in a way that makes me reconsider my relationship or feelings towards her, I silently say a prayer of thanks, because she just saved me from wasting more of my valuable time.

Thank you for the honesty. Since receiving that message from her I've messaged several other girls from Latvia and managed to hook me. I'm in the process of trying to build some rapport and then go for the date with her. Also I definitely intend on daygaming like crazy once I arrive. I heard Latvia has a lot of pretty girls so hopefully I can easily replace her. I suppose it isn't a bad thing to have found out now instead of when I met up her with her. I can't say whether or not hearing that news in the moment would have affected me emotionally or not or whether I would still try to escalate and pretend I didn't hear her. I was a little caught off guard with it.

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 08:46 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

On second thought, if you can keep your cool and not be needy, and mentally/emotionally let go of this girl, meeting up with her and having her show you around, and being friends with her (ACTUAL friends, not beta orbiter friends) it wouldn't be a bad idea.

Well I've since downgraded her in my mind from potential gf to just a plate/fb. It'll probably take me 1-2 days to fully get her out of my system by hitting on girls once i land in Latvia. I suppose I'll reject her suggestion to hang out in the first couple days I am in Latvia just to let my emotions subside and see if I can replace her with another chick in my mind through online/daygame.

[John_Galt]

This thread will be very helpful during your trip. I recommend reading the whole thing. Maybe save the pages as a file and read on the plane.


thread-8099.html

[John_Galt]

Wait....I was re-reading your post.....have you ever stepped foot on Latvia or not? Have you MET this girl, in person before?

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 09:03 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

Wait....I was re-reading your post.....have you ever stepped foot on Latvia or not? Have you MET this girl, in person before?

No, I never been there before and no I never met this girl in person neither.

[John_Galt]

BTW, Roosh has written a book about banging Latvian girls. It's $9, which is nothing when compared to the hundreds (thousands?) you spent to get a plane ticket to the country in the first place, besides, he gives a 60 day guarantee, so if you get the book and think it's worthless, you could just get a refund.

http://www.bangguides.com/travel/dont-bang-latvia/

Disclaimer: I have not personally read Don't Bang Latvia, but I have read several of Roosh's other books, including Bang, Day Bang, Bang Brazil, and Bang Poland and enjoyed them thoroughly.

EDIT: Here is some of Rooshs writing on Latvia (from his blog, so free) if you want an idea of his writing style and the information he provides:

http://www.rooshv.com/category/travel/europe/latvia

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 09:10 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

BTW, Roosh has written a book about banging Latvian girls. It's $9, which is nothing when compared to the hundreds (thousands?) you spent to get a plane ticket to the country in the first place, besides, he gives a 60 day guarantee, so if you get the book and think it's worthless, you could just get a refund.

http://www.bangguides.com/travel/dont-bang-latvia/

Disclaimer: I have not personally read Don't Bang Latvia, but I have read several of Roosh's other books, including Bang, Day Bang, Bang Brazil, and Bang Poland and enjoyed them thoroughly.

EDIT: Here is some of Rooshs writing on Latvia (from his blog, so free) if you want an idea of his writing style and the information he provides:

http://www.rooshv.com/category/travel/europe/latvia

Thanks man!

[John_Galt]

(10-06-2016 09:09 PM)destiny Wrote:  

(10-06-2016 09:03 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

Wait....I was re-reading your post.....have you ever stepped foot on Latvia or not? Have you MET this girl, in person before?

No, I never been there before and no I never met this girl in person neither.

Then you have no reason to be upset or angry. It was silly to fly to a country you've never been to to see a girl you've never met. The upside is that this is a great learning experience, and you can explore a new city and meet exotic women! I'm not always an optimist, but in this scenario, there is a lot to be positive about, truly.

Also, and I don't want to get your hopes up in saying this, but this is a possibility-----she could be making the boyfriend up entirely. Keep in mind: This is a woman who has a foreigner she's never met flying halfway across the world to see her. That's got to be at least a little intimidating. I'm not saying this is likely, but it is POSSIBLE. Either way, the fact that she at least likes you (even if it is as a friend) is positive. But a word of warning, make sure you meet her in a public place----just in case!

Given the new information you've provided, I would recommend meeting up with her during your trip. She could be a valuable source of information and a great guide to the city you're staying in, plus a possible translator, etc. But I would throw out all possibilities of romance so that you aren't needy and also so you don't get down about her not being romantic with you. It's really not a big deal, and you learned a very valuable lesson, so if you're upset, try to focus on that.

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 09:26 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

(10-06-2016 09:09 PM)destiny Wrote:  

(10-06-2016 09:03 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

Wait....I was re-reading your post.....have you ever stepped foot on Latvia or not? Have you MET this girl, in person before?

No, I never been there before and no I never met this girl in person neither.

Then you have no reason to be upset or angry. It was silly to fly to a country you've never been to to see a girl you've never met. The upside is that this is a great learning experience, and you can explore a new city and meet exotic women! I'm not always an optimist, but in this scenario, there is a lot to be positive about, truly.

Also, and I don't want to get your hopes up in saying this, but this is a possibility-----she could be making the boyfriend up entirely. Keep in mind: This is a woman who has a foreigner she's never met flying halfway across the world to see her. That's got to be at least a little intimidating. I'm not saying this is likely, but it is POSSIBLE. Either way, the fact that she at least likes you (even if it is as a friend) is positive. But a word of warning, make sure you meet her in a public place----just in case!

Given the new information you've provided, I would recommend meeting up with her during your trip. She could be a valuable source of information and a great guide to the city you're staying in, plus a possible translator, etc. But I would throw out all possibilities of romance so that you aren't needy and also so you don't get down about her not being romantic with you. It's really not a big deal, and you learned a very valuable lesson, so if you're upset, try to focus on that.

Great outlook. It was a bit foolish on my part to fly halfway around the world to meet up with her although I did book a trip to Poland as well so all is not in vain. I was planning on going out with her and also setting up dates with other prospects as well when I landed. It seemed like a sure thing, I guess I got my hopes too high. I'm going to be in Riga for 4 weeks and then another 5 weeks so I had initially expected that would have been long enough to reassure her I wasn't just going to pump and dump but anyways I've now given up on her and working on other leads. I've now learned to treat every girl the same, no special snowflakes and don't get too emotionally attached to a single one, also spin plates!

Anyways I think the emotions have gone through its course and I can think more clearly now. I'm not gonna bother with this chick romantically now unless she starts giving me major IOI's like touching, flirting or whatnot and even then I would need to be somewhere more discreet. Hopefully I will have some success with the other local women given my time here. Also regarding your point about the "possibility" I also thought about. She may have decided to go with a local guy because he's safe and she's worried I would just ditch her after my trip ends. I don't necessary blame her and I think it would be unfair to expect her to hold out for me for a whole year. It kind of sucks because I'm in the process of trying to figure out how to become location independent and needed a bit more time but I guess that's life.

I'll write a field report or datasheet once I'm done my trip .

[XPQ22]

(10-06-2016 08:46 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

On second thought, if you can keep your cool and not be needy, and mentally/emotionally let go of this girl, meeting up with her and having her show you around, and being friends with her (ACTUAL friends, not beta orbiter friends) it wouldn't be a bad idea.

Yeah, I agree. Just enjoy the trip, and if OP meets up with her just disregard this "boyfriend" stuff and game on. Just treat it like any other shit test; as if you're going to cancel your trip because she's seeing another guy. Bitch I am on vacation in Poland/Latvia now, we're going to meet up at some Riga bar or whatever and I am going to escalate on you as usual, as if you're a Toronto feminist who hit me up on Tinder. If you're not with it hey look, I'm still on vacation in EE.

Quote:

I don't necessary blame her and I think it would be unfair to expect her to hold out for me for a whole year.

If she's been dating him for two months or less I guarantee if you play it right she'll take the D and rationalize it later like "oh well I wasn't sure if the other guy was going to commit to me yet. It was just a fling." GAME ON

Get on that flight and enjoy the ride one way or another, man. I wish I could visit EE at this point in my life. Bon Voyage!

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 09:26 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

(10-06-2016 09:09 PM)destiny Wrote:  

(10-06-2016 09:03 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

Wait....I was re-reading your post.....have you ever stepped foot on Latvia or not? Have you MET this girl, in person before?

No, I never been there before and no I never met this girl in person neither.

Then you have no reason to be upset or angry. It was silly to fly to a country you've never been to to see a girl you've never met. The upside is that this is a great learning experience, and you can explore a new city and meet exotic women! I'm not always an optimist, but in this scenario, there is a lot to be positive about, truly.

Also, and I don't want to get your hopes up in saying this, but this is a possibility-----she could be making the boyfriend up entirely. Keep in mind: This is a woman who has a foreigner she's never met flying halfway across the world to see her. That's got to be at least a little intimidating. I'm not saying this is likely, but it is POSSIBLE. Either way, the fact that she at least likes you (even if it is as a friend) is positive. But a word of warning, make sure you meet her in a public place----just in case!

Given the new information you've provided, I would recommend meeting up with her during your trip. She could be a valuable source of information and a great guide to the city you're staying in, plus a possible translator, etc. But I would throw out all possibilities of romance so that you aren't needy and also so you don't get down about her not being romantic with you. It's really not a big deal, and you learned a very valuable lesson, so if you're upset, try to focus on that.

Oh I forgot to mention. What about the "boyfriend"? If he's real I don't want to meet up with him lol. Should I agree to meet up with him or just make up some excuse?

[John_Galt]

Awesome attitude man!

BTW, I did notice while looking for the Latvia thread there are several threads on Riga specifically. I'd check those out as well!

Here's a link to the search engine:

search.php

Also, feel free to post in the Latvia/Riga threads and ask any questions you have about the place or it's women. I've never been, so I'm completely useless for specifics, but quite a few members have and I'm sure they'd be happy to give you advice. I also recommend documenting your trip in a journal or on your laptop each day. The details can get mixed up (especially if you're going out to bars) so it helps to have a written account of how things go down. It also makes it easier to compile a data sheet later on.

Best of luck!

[XPQ22]

(10-06-2016 10:01 PM)destiny Wrote:  

Oh I forgot to mention. What about the "boyfriend"? If he's real I don't want to meet up with him lol. Should I agree to meet up with him or just make up some excuse?

If she tells you she wants to bring her boyfriend along I'd probably just say something to the effect of "No." No excuses. If she act like they a package deal, well, see you next time, miss.

Quote:

its an opportunity to covertly tool the guy and demonstrate higher value by being chilled and relaxed and extra friendly to the guy.

My thought is that being a third wheel male to a MF couple is nearly always a bad option and a "DLV." Especially when it's the chick you're "friends" with, not the guy.

I see no way orbiting a foreign chick and her boyfriend will get you laid. You'd likely do better on your own.

I don't know a lot about travel and "pipelining" and such, but it sounds like the main problem is you put all your eggs in one basket for a long period of time. Going forward, keep in mind that's probably a dangerous option.

[John_Galt]

Quote:

Oh I forgot to mention. What about the "boyfriend"? If he's real I don't want to meet up with him lol. Should I agree to meet up with him or just make up some excuse?

XP is a bit more hardcore than I am. His philosophy is more or less "I get what I want, if you don't like it, NEXT!" (At least that's the impression I get from his posts, please correct me if I'm wrong!)

If you don't want to meet him, obviously don't meet him. But IMHO, it matters WHY you don't want to meet him. Is it because you're jealous? If that's the reason, well, I would simply try not to care about this girl.

I see her as a valuable asset since you already have some trust and rapport, she could be helpful in your initial days in the country. Some people will disagree, and prefer to do things on their own, explore and find adventure without help. To me, it can be a bit of a scary experience landing in a foreign land for the first time, so if I have a friend to help me acclimate to the new culture, I will use that asset.

Keep in mind, I'm coming at this from the mentality of having no horse in the race, so to speak. I'm not emotionally involved, so for me, saying "having a guide is a good idea" is easy. I don't know how you feel, or if seeing her with this guy would cause you to have a bad time. If it would, I'd avoid the situation entirely.

Still another option is to simply be honest with her. Something to the effect of, "Hey, I know we weren't a couple or anything but I liked you and really had hoped we'd connect during my trip. I understand you have a boyfriend now, but if it's ok could we just hang out by ourselves?"

Not the best message but you get the gist.

At the end of the day, it's up to you. It's a personal choice, and as long as you aren't emotionally invested in the outcome, I truly believe there's no wrong answer.

[Vinny]

I left Riga few days ago, so if you have any questions ask away.
If you are going to Riga anyways as your tickets are booked, you might as well prepare well to increase your chances.

As to this particular girl, here is what I would do if I were you. I would tell her sorry, I am still going to Latvia, but I have no interest in meeting you any longer. I always say I don't befriend attractive girls. Cause it is kind of semi-positive semi-negative. This might ruin any of your chances, but it is better for you to focus on other possibilities, if she had any genuine interest she might try to give you some excuse.

Honestly, flying over Atlantic for a vague chance of having one girl is madness. Don't do it again.

[Serious Sam]

Quote:

Interest levels appeared very high (fast replies, long messages, questions, etc) until like 2 weeks ago.

I don't care how good your game is, there is no building attraction over text messages. Women are fickle, and they will go for what is there here and now. Interest one second could spoil into disinterest the next.

Quote:

I booked my flight to Latvia and Poland a few months back and I'm suppose to be flying out tomorrow night.

Rookie mistake, one that I've made as well. If you've built attraction with one girl living far away, make her travel to you. If she's not willing to travel to see you, then she's not worth your time. Never spend money, book flights, or drive several hours just for one bitch! Go to Latvia because you want to, because you want the experience, not because you're hopeful that you'll bang some chick you met online. That spells T-H-I-R-S-T.

Since you're already going, my advice is to plan some cool shit to do on your own. Meet some new people while you're there and game some beautiful native women. If this bitch hits you up, then set something up, but don't let her become the center of your vacation. If she brings the dude along, then bounce. No need for that drama. Remember, you're there for yourself, not her.

[Mushroom]

Been there, done that, made the mistakes. Serious Sam is giving you sound advice. Trust me.

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 10:11 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(10-06-2016 10:01 PM)destiny Wrote:  

Oh I forgot to mention. What about the "boyfriend"? If he's real I don't want to meet up with him lol. Should I agree to meet up with him or just make up some excuse?

If she tells you she wants to bring her boyfriend along I'd probably just say something to the effect of "No." No excuses. If she act like they a package deal, well, see you next time, miss.

Quote:

its an opportunity to covertly tool the guy and demonstrate higher value by being chilled and relaxed and extra friendly to the guy.

My thought is that being a third wheel male to a MF couple is nearly always a bad option and a "DLV." Especially when it's the chick you're "friends" with, not the guy.

I see no way orbiting a foreign chick and her boyfriend will get you laid. You'd likely do better on your own.

I don't know a lot about travel and "pipelining" and such, but it sounds like the main problem is you put all your eggs in one basket for a long period of time. Going forward, keep in mind that's probably a dangerous option.

Ya fuck the "boyfriend". I don't want to waste my time meeting the both of them together. I don't really see too much upsides to it and a whole lot of downsides and yes, your correct, I fucked up my pipelining. I should have tried to setup several girls prior to arriving so that I wouldn't develop oneitis for this chick. It was also a mistake to even start messaging girls so far in advance of a trip because a lot of things can happen just like in this case.

[John_Galt]

^
Whats important is you learned from the mistake. You should be getting on the plane in a few hours, so leave your feelings for her on the runway, and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime!

I'm certain you'll meet several women while you're there....make love to them, just don't fall in love!

[destiny]

(10-06-2016 11:01 PM)Vinny Wrote:  

I left Riga few days ago, so if you have any questions ask away.
If you are going to Riga anyways as your tickets are booked, you might as well prepare well to increase your chances.

As to this particular girl, here is what I would do if I were you. I would tell her sorry, I am still going to Latvia, but I have no interest in meeting you any longer. I always say I don't befriend attractive girls. Cause it is kind of semi-positive semi-negative. This might ruin any of your chances, but it is better for you to focus on other possibilities, if she had any genuine interest she might try to give you some excuse.

Honestly, flying over Atlantic for a vague chance of having one girl is madness. Don't do it again.

Just a few questions.

1. I heard a lot of scams going on in Riga, did you experience any scams while you were there? Things like girls coming up to flirt with you and then trying to take you to some shady bar where you end up paying several hundred euros or some Russian bouncer threatens to kick your ass or people pretending to be police officers?
2. How would you compare the Latvian/Russian men in terms of looks/style/game/aggressiveness, etc compared to someone from the Anglosphere like America/Canada? I'm trying to gauge what the competition is like over there.
3. I don't know if you workout or not, but I was wondering if you had any recommendations for gyms in Riga? If not, I'll post up some info once I get a gym membership there.

Thanks

[destiny]

(10-07-2016 02:54 AM)John_Galt Wrote:  

^
Whats important is you learned from the mistake. You should be getting on the plane in a few hours, so leave your feelings for her on the runway, and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime!

I'm certain you'll meet several women while you're there....make love to them, just don't fall in love!

Gotcha!

[icyT]

I am perplexed about this. Do guys.with female friends offer to introduce those female friends to his girlfriend?