[david.garrett84]

Pretty novel experience for me. She has some of my actual stuff, but now says she has "other" stuff to give me.

She made a picture of all the physical correspondence, as far as I can tell, I had ever sent her and asked when I was picking it up. Included were a few notes I gave to her at the end of a hotel jaunt we had together. I quite like handwritten pieces to girls, but I definitely do far less of it than I used to.

She's Polish and people who've read a fair few of my articles would be aware I spend a lot of time there and in the rest of Central and Eastern Europe.

She arrived to see me one time in Kraków with the sourest of moods and I calmly made it clear I would leave if she continued with it. This is the sort of thing that worked with her and she became a delight for the days afterwards.

But then I called her bluff around last New Year's and broke things off after she said she was unsure about things between us. It was 99% her shit-testing and/or her having a foul mood, but I could not be bothered playing.

Contact has been sporadic since, yet she is generally cordial. She may still be pissed off I passed her over after I did not come and visit her in Lublin when I was nearby. Her returning the correspondence idea came out of the blue this week.

How do other guys see this both specifically in terms of my experience and generally? I have my own interpretation, but it is good to air these things out as a community.

[kaotic]

She's basically finding any excuse to see you again.

It's really that simple.

She said she was unsure about you guys and you bounced.

You shouldn't even really be contacting this girl - she's old news.

I wouldn't bother responding or tell her to just keep it or throw it in the trash.

If she has other items of yours BUT are replaceable, don't bother getting them from her.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Same thing happened to me, bitch said I had mail. I told her to send it, then she says she has my poker chip set (which I actually DO want). I told her to drop it off at my folks house so I don't have to see her. She still hasn't delivered it which pisses me off.

Kaotic is right, looking for an excuse to get back in your life because hers is boring, and yours isn't.

[david.garrett84]

(09-16-2016 11:42 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

She's basically finding any excuse to see you again.

It's really that simple.

She said she was unsure about you guys and you bounced.

You shouldn't even really be contacting this girl - she's old news.

I wouldn't bother responding or tell her to just keep it or throw it in the trash.

If she has other items of yours BUT are replaceable, don't bother getting them from her.

For the moment, she's a case study for me.

Typically I cut off from girls after these kinds of incidents. Nevertheless, I'm genuinely curious recently about what causes these girls' moods.

The moods are unacceptable, clearly, but I've been experimenting with ways to neutralize them for other girls in the future.

I don't give her much in regards to conversation, yet I don't say nothing, either.

[GreyFFM]

wait 14 days and her mood will be completely opposite. equally intense, just opposite.

[The Beast1]

Just ignore her and wait for the,"Hey whats up?" Text that will come at 3am when she's drunk.

Don't give her that emotional thrill of letting her return these and have some goofy sense of closure. She can throw them out if they're that triggering.

[spokepoker]

If it's not a hassle, get your shit back and get a quick bang out of it. Watch out for baby rabies though.

[General Stalin]

She's trying to guilt trip you and also make an excuse to see you again. Typical jilted lover shit. It's no different than if you had some unimportant shit of hers that she was dead-set on getting back from you. "Well you have my rolling pin at your place from that time we made pizza I need that back"

Are you done with this girl? Then ignore. Or tell her to just throw all the notes out if she doesn't want them. I once had a girl who had a sweatshirt of mine who wanted to return it to me. I told her to keep it. She said she didn't want it, so I told her to donate it then. Whatever.

[david.garrett84]

Just so we are clear, I will under no circumstances accept the correspondence from her.

What I am getting at here is us discussing the female mentality both individually in her case and generally.

[General Stalin]

She could easily just throw all the shit in the trash. Only reason she is bothering you about wanting to give it back to you is to have the last word. You hurt her by giving her the boot so this is her way of trying to show that she is also rejecting you back. It's not anything deep or worth explicating. Just immature shit.

[kaotic]

(09-16-2016 12:30 PM)david.garrett84 Wrote:  

What I am getting at here is us discussing the female mentality both individually in her case and generally.

This isn't some deep topic that you're trying to make it.

Countless guys have wrote about the same scenario that you've been in, on this forum.

She isn't some case study, she's just some former bitch trying to get back in your life.

Your first problem was not initiating DO-NOT-CONTACT rule. You wouldn't have this problem.

Bitches want attention
they want validation
they want to be in your head
they want to remind you
they crave drama

Here is the female mentality:

[david.garrett84]

Have to disagree, Stalin, about the non-need for explication. But do agree with the immaturity part, that's for sure.

Society is giving more and more women excuses for foul behavior and I am sure that there are very red pill men out there who get this from girls they're with, not ones they dumped. I suspect we will start to see what used to be post-break-up behavior filtering into actual relationships.

Particularly as things like affirmative consent get more entrenched in US colleges, there is ample ground for guys here to discuss attention-seeking female behavior and how to counteract it. Avoidance is fine for girls you know are batshit from the start. In the meantime, game can keep its core but must evolve to meet new social trends.

I agree, though, that this ex-girl of mine's antics are far from the worst and certainly not part of a new trend.

[Captainstabbin]

I agree with Stalin, this is just an attempt at getting the last word.

Tell her to just throw everything away. It lets her know that, like the items themselves, she's not important to you.

[philosophical_recovery]

I like to keep correspondence like that.

One time a girl made a book of junk for my birthday. Literally pasted in pictures and notes from a bunch of my friends and jammed it in a book. That thing is overflowing with pictures and stuff.

Another girl asked what was the most thoughtful gift I got once. I showed her that book. She tried to one-up it!

I'm just waiting for a question like that to come up again

[dispenser]

Why are your exes able to contact you? Seems like a drain on time and attention.

[david.garrett84]

(09-16-2016 01:41 PM)dispenser Wrote:  

Why are your exes able to contact you? Seems like a drain on time and attention.

Ex this time, not exes, and there's a fair bit of property involved. And with her we are talking an hour or so of communication since January.

Though I have kept the lines open sometimes with other girls. I recommend it, but sparingly. You'd be surprised what you manage to glean and learn. If you're well established in certain communities, too, as I am in various parts of the Czech Republic and Poland, cutting lines is apt to create a shitfight.

Blocking can sometimes create more conflict than it solves. Like a switch in some girls' heads to batten down the hatches.

[Kona]

Why can't she just put it all in an envelope and mail it?

Or if you are in the same city, but don't want her to know that, call her out of the blue and say "my cousin the cab driver is right around the corner, and will pick everything up now." Then give the cabbie an extra $20 on top of the fare. Real easy.

Aloha!

[kaotic]

(09-16-2016 01:56 PM)david.garrett84 Wrote:  

(09-16-2016 01:41 PM)dispenser Wrote:  

Why are your exes able to contact you? Seems like a drain on time and attention.

Ex this time, not exes, and there's a fair bit of property involved. And with her we are talking an hour or so of communication since January.

Though I have kept the lines open sometimes with other girls. I recommend it, but sparingly. You'd be surprised what you manage to glean and learn. If you're well established in certain communities, too, as I am in various parts of the Czech Republic and Poland, cutting lines is apt to create a shitfight.

Blocking can sometimes create more conflict than it solves. Like a switch in some girls' heads to batten down the hatches.

My questions is why ?

Why bother ? These women aren't in your lives for a reason unless you were really deeply tie into their network.

What do you manage to "glean and learn" from a woman you have no interest in ?

I'm assuming you're saying since you're very well established not keeping things polite an formal would be a huge pain in the ass, so you play things cool right ?

How are you established in these communities ?

[Easy_C]

Then again what does he have to lose? I may be reading into it a bit but he doesn't seem like he's simping out. Worst case scenario nothing happens, best case scenario you might get a rebound.

[Cr33pin]

[david.garrett84]

(09-16-2016 03:13 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-16-2016 01:56 PM)david.garrett84 Wrote:  

(09-16-2016 01:41 PM)dispenser Wrote:  

Why are your exes able to contact you? Seems like a drain on time and attention.

Ex this time, not exes, and there's a fair bit of property involved. And with her we are talking an hour or so of communication since January.

Though I have kept the lines open sometimes with other girls. I recommend it, but sparingly. You'd be surprised what you manage to glean and learn. If you're well established in certain communities, too, as I am in various parts of the Czech Republic and Poland, cutting lines is apt to create a shitfight.

Blocking can sometimes create more conflict than it solves. Like a switch in some girls' heads to batten down the hatches.

My questions is why ?

Why bother ? These women aren't in your lives for a reason unless you were really deeply tie into their network.

What do you manage to "glean and learn" from a woman you have no interest in ?

I'm assuming you're saying since you're very well established not keeping things polite an formal would be a huge pain in the ass, so you play things cool right ?

How are you established in these communities ?

Sometimes it's useful to see how long you can string these things along with minimal effort. Even beyond sexual entanglements, continuing to learn how to manage conflict and just let it slide without resorting to blocking contact is important, or at the very least a handy skill for other situations.

No one is ever perfect at game and keeping the lines open sometimes is a way of me seeing how well I can balance aloofness with a modicum of politeness. I guess it's cat string theory on a different level. And I believe it's applicable now and for the future with girls I'm involved with or will get involved with.

I'll be blunt: it's just me experimenting, mostly unconsciously, with girls like this. No different from gaming girls you don't really want to sleep with for practice.

Most girls I don't bother with after break-ups, though, whether of the relationship or FWB sort.

At the end of the day, she's felt the need to ask me how to send back the letters and postcards. I'm clearly on her mind and have been so even with my mostly single sentence messages from time to time.

As for the communities, I've been immersing myself in a number of small cities. We're talking getting to know hundreds of people in very short periods of time. Not all become friends, of course, but you're well-known enough to have wide female prospects.

[TornadoByProxy]

Get your stuff back at least to get it out of circulation. Better still, give her a present when she drops it off. "Since you're giving my letters back, this is something to remember me by."
You will have permanent residence in her head forever.

Why they do it? Women crave drama. This is her attempt at this thing her friends keep talking about, closure. She wants no loose ends, but also hopes that seeing you again will reignite the fire the two of you once had.

Wanting to give your stuff back is a good sign your game is tight. Good job.

[kaotic]

(09-16-2016 04:46 PM)david.garrett84 Wrote:  

Sometimes it's useful to see how long you can string these things along with minimal effort. Even beyond sexual entanglements, continuing to learn how to manage conflict and just let it slide without resorting to blocking contact is important, or at the very least a handy skill for other situations.

I'm not sure why you'd string things along with someone you aren't really interested in, unless you mean by being polite and friendly when around them. Other than that it's a waste of energy when you can be focusing that on new prospects.

Indeed managing conflict is important, but leaving the door partially open for women can invite drama in the future, unless there was a clean amicable break.

Quote:

No one is ever perfect at game and keeping the lines open sometimes is a way of me seeing how well I can balance aloofness with a modicum of politeness. I guess it's cat string theory on a different level. And I believe it's applicable now and for the future with girls I'm involved with or will get involved with.

Once again keeping the lines open with women you aren't interested can bring along emotions and drama. That flickering hope they still have a chance with you, which can be draining to the wrong guy.

This isn't something I'd advocate.

Quote:

I'll be blunt: it's just me experimenting, mostly unconsciously, with girls like this. No different from gaming girls you don't really want to sleep with for practice.

Most girls I don't bother with after break-ups, though, whether of the relationship or FWB sort.

At the end of the day, she's felt the need to ask me how to send back the letters and postcards. I'm clearly on her mind and have been so even with my mostly single sentence messages from time to time.

It's not really most subconsciously if you're writing about it and admitting it.

I can understand the practice part, but now it's clear you keeping an open line has her coming to chase you. The only reason I'd do this is if I wanted to sleep with her again. Outside of that, I'd just tell her to mail my stuff back.

[iknowexactly]

Elephant in room: Maybe you're really still interested in her, but being too demanding, and her ability to go with her moods attracts you in some way.

[AboveAverageJoe]

Tell her you want to give all her pussy back, too.
Meet up for the exchange and extract more pussy.
Or rather might I suggest anal.