[Comendador]

I use the search a lot here but couldn't find this answer. Maybe I am not searching right and if there is any thread on this please show me and close this thread.

In our routines we always see girls we would like to approach. I mean, of course one of the the goals of the forum is to encourage men to approach. But my point is: what are the exceptions?

I am a guy that works long hours. I know the rule: "don't shit where You eat". but if I don't my options are too limited. Not talking just about work here. This rule seems to apply from social circles to neighbours.

So, do you take any chance you have to approach a chick whenever you feel like? What holds you back?

[Slam]

In general, if you feel attracted enough to approach, do it within 4 seconds or move on. And yes, this should be anywhere.

In social circles, you just re-calibrate it to be the cool guy who can hold a conversation. You probably don't want to try to get a ONS with a chick from work or social circle, but rather learn conversation skills like telling stories, being charming, using humor etc. Become the cool guy in the social circle.

[RatInTheWoods]

Please don't annoy the shit out of our mothers, daughters, sisters and girlfriends by asking them for sex while they are at the supermarket buying our steak and beer.

The criteria is not "feel attracted to", but if you get an expression of interest from them (a look, smile, open body language etc)

ie don't shotgun annoy women, but do be bold and approach women that signal their interest in you.

[WestIndianArchie]

The worst thing that ever happened to my game was working long hours.

If you want women in your life for the rest of your life, you need to make a decision NOW about where you spend your time.

You're looking for some weasel way out about using online game, or it being okay to hit on co-workers and people already in your social circle.

The answer is no. It will always be no.

You don't have the personal experience to approach these girls, sleep with them, and not have that turn into a relationship. You're going to turn into every other sad sack if you take the cowards way.

You're not going to fuck Suzie from human resources and be able to go ghost because you find out her nipples are the size of Italian sausages and everything be okay. That's not how real life works.

Your co-workers will fuck you over and make all that time at work miserable. You fuck over chicks in your social circle, and you're going to get grief from the people around you.

Take three to six months out of your life to focus on cold approaching *strangers*. Work will be there. Your youth will not.

WIA

[Comendador]

WIA, you are right about this. I don't have the experience to have ONS with people I know - I'm trapped in one LTR right now. But my GF was from my college and now we make residence togheter. You see, I am a doctor so I chose the wrong path - pretty sure there is not much I can do. But when my LTR is over I will not seat in my room and cry forever. I refuse. I see a lot of people have the Game to ONS chicks they know. My personal experience tells me it really sucks. But what are my choices?
I can cole approach, but just once or twice a week if I continue in this routine... I am 27 right now and felling youth passing like a rocket!

[CJ_W]

(08-18-2016 05:55 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

The worst thing that ever happened to my game was working long hours.

If you want women in your life for the rest of your life, you need to make a decision NOW about where you spend your time.

You're looking for some weasel way out about using online game, or it being okay to hit on co-workers and people already in your social circle.

The answer is no. It will always be no.

You don't have the personal experience to approach these girls, sleep with them, and not have that turn into a relationship. You're going to turn into every other sad sack if you take the cowards way.

You're not going to fuck Suzie from human resources and be able to go ghost because you find out her nipples are the size of Italian sausages and everything be okay. That's not how real life works.

Your co-workers will fuck you over and make all that time at work miserable. You fuck over chicks in your social circle, and you're going to get grief from the people around you.

Take three to six months out of your life to focus on cold approaching *strangers*. Work will be there. Your youth will not.

WIA

Exactly, now of course(to the op), if you DONT want to believe us and decide to shit where you eat? then, Imagine yourself with no job, no money coming in, living in your parent`s basement. If that still doesn`t deter you from not messing with women at work, then go ahead and do it.

Sometimes you have to learn through experience.

[TornadoByProxy]

Yes. Became a doctor at 27. Definitely the wrong path if you want to bang lots of girls.

If you're not ugly, girls are hitting on you all day. You just don't notice it. You need to learn to recognize IOIs. And go hang with other doctors. They will show you what they do.

[Comendador]

My GF works with me so It's hard to have IOI's. But when I do it is very sporadic and I cannot rely on that. I notice that most Doctors mary doctors. But yes you guys are right, don't shit where you it is a golden rule. The players I know bang pacients, nurses and medicin students. They shit a lot. That is why I asked... Because I know it is not the ideal but it's all I see. Just came here to get that gold advices you guys always give. Thanks for the replies!

[Drix]

Yes, almost every place with girls, it is great for us. Just don`t put obstacles to yourself, I work 10 hours per day, sometimes I work for 24 hours. My house is almost 2 hours from my workplace. Despite of that,i love to flirt at Buses,gym, restaurants,street,parks.

If you are afraid to do cold aproaches, time is not the problem. By the way, take a break, you can need it.

[Comendador]

Made a better research and found this gold:

http://www.dangerandplay.com/2011/11/08/...sy-player/

Anyway thanks everyone! This forum is the place to be.

[Slam]

(08-18-2016 03:10 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

The criteria is not "feel attracted to", but if you get an expression of interest from them (a look, smile, open body language etc)

ie don't shotgun annoy women, but do be bold and approach women that signal their interest in you.

Good point about IOIs, but girls with lower value will give you IOIs all the time. Who cares about going after them?

It's a both-and. Ideally she gives you IOIs AND you feel attracted.

[Giovonny]

(08-17-2016 09:39 PM)Comendador Wrote:  

what are the exceptions?

I don't believe there are any exceptions.

When you see a pretty girl, you should talk to her!

(08-17-2016 09:39 PM)Comendador Wrote:  

do you take any chance you have to approach a chick whenever you feel like?

Yes

(08-17-2016 09:39 PM)Comendador Wrote:  

What holds you back?

Nothing.

In the past, the only thing that held me back was my own fear!!

--

NOW, THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF MY RESPONSE IS THIS:

Notice how in my answers, I did not use the word "approach"...

I used the word "talk"..

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT DISTINCTION AND THE WORDS ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IN MEANING AND ACTION.

DO NOT approach girls!

Talk to them!

Approaching them can feel "needy" and "try hard". It puts pressure on you to perform and her to make a quick decision.

Talking to them is much easier and, ironically, works better. Talking to her without expectations and goals puts less pressure on you and her. It feels more natural.

--

So, the answer is NO, EVERYWHERE IS NOT A "PICK UP PLACE".. BUT....

EVERYWHERE IS A PLACE TO TALK TO GIRLS!!!

Don't approach, just talk!

This is an important paradigm shift for newbies!

Keep is casual, light-hearted, and affable!

[Comendador]

Giovonny, thanks for the advice. I get you and agree it is easier but when you talk you need to escalate and close... So at some point you will feel the pressure. Am I wrong?

[Giovonny]

(08-22-2016 06:27 PM)Comendador Wrote:  

Giovonny, thanks for the advice.

I get you and agree it is easier but when you talk you need to escalate and close... So at some point you will feel the pressure. Am I wrong?

Yes, of course, we all feel pressure sometimes...

But, there are psychological tactics that you can use to reduce and eliminate pressure...

For example, reframing your perspective..

Redefining the process of "approaching"..

Doing it for YOU, not HER.

I explain more here:

(08-29-2016 05:58 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

GAME IS MOSTLY MENTAL!!!

I guess what I meant is this -- When you "approach" girls, you put unnecessary pressure on yourself AND you start from a position of need. You need her to respond favorably in order feel "successful".

There are many other ways to frame, define, and execute your social development practice.

Don't "approach" in the traditional PUA sort of way..

Make jokes. Give commentary. Ask questions. Make observations. Tease. Compliment. Assist. Instruct. Engage. Eye-Fuck.

And, Most Importantly, DO ALL Of THIS FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT!

If YOU were entertained, than, the interaction was "SUCCESSFUL".

Think about that and focus a little more on that type of vibe..

That would be my advice for someone seeking a "total game reset".

It's really just food for thought and a mental exercise.

Maybe, I was just feeling philosophical..

---

Obviously, much of what I am talking about is semantics and self talk.. I know that thoughts, default mental states, language patterns, education, etc. ALL have a drastic effect on ones sex life. Words and thoughts are powerful, they can shape our perspective which can effect everything.

---

But, lets be honest, if this guy is approaching hundreds of girls and not finding any success... Then obviously he is average to below average looking and/or his social skills are average to below average, GENERALLY SPEAKING.. (not directed at anyone personally)

He needs to improve his look, his social skills, etc... BUT, WHAT I THINK THIS THREAD IS REALLY ALL ABOUT... is NOT "game"... This thread is about Strategy!

I differentiate between "game" and "game strategy"

Sometimes, strategy is more important than game.

A guy with a great strategy can outperform a guy with better game but a worse strategy.

Or,

A guy with good game can under-perform because of bad strategy.

The OP needs to evolve in both areas; His social skills and his social strategy.

Again, just food for thought as part of a "total game reset".

(08-29-2016 02:16 PM)polar Wrote:  

Gio,

Could you close the gap between listening and your subsequent (re)actions?

I listen, I learn, I probe deeper. (into her mind)

Simply put, I try to get her to expose her inner feelings, desires, needs, dreams, fears, etc.

With this data, I have a better chance of getting her naked.

If I talk, I can not collect data.

That is the essence of "listening" rather than "talking".

Even a newbie would be wise to let a girl talk without interrupting her. Too many newbies are in a hurry to talk. Listening is often a bigger opportunity.

(08-29-2016 02:02 PM)brokinetic Wrote:  

Take a look at some real famous PUA's. Nick Krauser took 1 year to get laid.

Great point!

This shit ain't easy! And, it ain't for the feint of heart!

You gotta be mentally tough and gritty to go from being a sexual failure to a sexual success!

It's literally like learning a language. It takes years of effort!

(08-29-2016 03:02 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  

Sometimes seems like 'game' is the hardest way to get sex!

Well said! I agree.

"Game" in the traditional PUA sense can be a very difficult way to get laid.

Mass approaching is only one tactic among many available tactics.

Like I said earlier, sometimes, it's better to examine and improve your Strategy, more so than your actual physical "game".

Things like location, timing, target section, logistics, medium of exchange, etc., can have a huge effect on results.

Like with most things in life, you have to find YOUR way. The way that works best for you!

[Captain Gh]

Just like you're currently putting your time in becoming a doctor... you've got to do the same if you want to be a good Gamer like Wia said. Since you have a heavy study workload, I would suggest that you take 2 Hours a week in the daytime (or more) and invest that time in Daygaming women in the commercial centre of your city, and away from your own campus. Trying to learn Game by chatting up the women at your worplace, or social circle, is a recipe for disaster for a newbie!

You need to build your confidence and your style by speaking to women you've got no ties with... and that's the beauty of Daygaming! The next one's around the corner!! And when you reach your Giovanny status, then you'll have have the ability to chat up, and not approach, every chick that you want to speak to... and you'll be rich as fuck by being a Doctor. Good times lies ahead if you really put in the time to become good at this.