[Grenblin]

A short bio/introduction before I start asking questions:

I'm 36, divorced a ho and alcoholic of a wife 12 years ago, got a kid with her who is 13 now.
After the divorce, I pretty much swore to never get married again, got my own place, better car etc. Was banging chicks left and right, no emotional attachments, one got to live with me for a few months before I caught her cheating and kicked her out.

Then I got stupid and allowed to catch feelings with one girl, whom I banged within ten minutes of her walking through my door and who was divorcing her "abusive" (I am quoting her) husband and I switched into a White Knight Captain-Save-a-ho mode, saved her and told her she can stay with me in my newly bought house. Was acting Alpha-e (she called me a "selfish self-centered asshole" which sounded like a compliment to me) and as much as she complained about it, she was loving me. Mad sex anytime I want, doing all house chores, being a mom figure to my daughter (my ex-wife was drinking and traveling the world, banging dudes, even married a few times, didn't see the kid at all).

Then the girl I was with started hinting on marriage and kids, I repeated what I said in the beginning that I'm not getting married and not having more kids. Long story short, after 3.5 years she started fucking on the side, moved out, was riding the cock carousel and it triggered the Jealous Beta in me and I asked her to marry me (diamond ring and all that shit). Luckily, she couldn't maintain her face for long (still throwing tantrums and being a ho) and although she moved in back with me I kicked her out shortly after and cancelled the whole thing. Dodged the bullet at the last moment.

The whole ordeal got me into a depression, a gained weight despite barely eating, was drinking a lot, lost a job due to poor performance (which was kind of good because she worked at the same office, I got her the job), was on light antidepressants for about 4 months. Then I discovered the Red Pill. To be exact, it was a Russian forum (called itsgone) (I am Russian and fluent in Russian) which was a part of a Russian Manosphere.
The people there helped me a lot with dealing with my situation and pretty soon I was back on my feet and been into my "selfish self-centered asshole" mode e.g. parties, banging girls, no strings attached, of course, FWBs etc.
After about two years of debauchery, I decided to chill down and start improving myself. Wrote down a bucket list and started making shit come true.
Traveled, lost weight (50lbs down, 30 more to go), hitting the gym at least 3 times a week, picked up several hobbies, started reading books again, learning Japanese etc.

Also, I became a Senior on that Russian forum, or as we are called there, The Specialist (Специалист).
The forum's main idea is to help men, who were dumped/cheated on etc. to get back on their feet applying the principals of the Red Pill and to some extent psychology.
The idea is to get them to get out of their Beta-Onetis mode and start improving themselves. Health, lifestyle etc.
The Specialists analyse each new "Patient" situation and let them see it from the "no rose colored glasses" point of view.
There is a set of rules (such as no contact with an ex, no social networks, no alcohol or drugs etc.), Sanitary Hour (Санчас) we call it, which each Patient must agree to adhere to in order to get better. And we just guide them in the process, while getting the daily progress notes update from each until that person decided that they are "healthy". Then they have to write a short essay of how they see things now, how their initial situation looks to them now etc.
If all Specialists agree that the essay checks out, that Patient is considered healthy and is welcome to stay on the forum and provide moral support to other Patients.
There are also sections on Pickup (Game) etc.

Also, I've been a reader and monthly supporter of ROK and other sites alike for about two years now, expanding my knowledge of the Red Pill, but only recently registered on the forum and already found tons of priceless material.

I still never plan to get married, have more kids etc.

That's pretty much it, I tried to make it as short as possible, but I think I failed on that part

Now to my question in the next post.

[Grenblin]

The recent situation is:
About 5 years ago I was working at a company where I briefly met a young woman who was very attractive and intelligent. However, since I saw a ring on her finger I did not approach her unless it was work related (This is one of the rules we enforce on the Forum "You do not touch a woman who is involved with another man).
Fast forward several new jobs, to this May, I was scrolling through my IM contact list and saw her name and decided to say "What's up".
A convo started, she recently left her hubby with whom she was since the age of 19 (she's 30 now) and moved out. [color=#FF0000;">&lt]<-- Red Flag #1, women who just got out of an LTR are dying to ride the Rooster Carusel[/color]
She told me he had a drinking problem and some drugs etc. (That's the usual case, the hubby is always the bad one) [color=#FF0000;">&lt]<--Red flag #2, displaying herself as a victim in need of saving by a White Knight.[/color]
Tried to White Knight me into a few things (such as when I said that I sharpen Japanese knives by hand she complained that all her knives were so dull) which I easily detected and dodged ("Here's a link to a knife sharpener on Amazon, order it).
I escalated the conversation soon after we began chatting and it took a turn into sexual one, but since we live in neighbouring states (about 70 miles apart) just meeting up and banging didn't happen right away.
On the day that she was supposed to come to my place for the first time she messaged me saying that she got cold feet "I am new to this and I don't know if I should do it". I assured her that nothing will happen without a mutual consent and she came over. As soon as she walked in I leaned in and kissed her and 20 minutes later we were naked in my bed. She spent the night and went home in the morning. [color=#FF0000;">&lt]<-- Red flag #3, too easy to bang, faking reservation to come over to inflate her value[/color]
About two weeks later I came to her place and spent the night there, obviously fucking and blowjobs were involved.
This whole time there's a constant IM-ing (that's my mistake for not setting boundaries), literally from morning to night to the point where I had to shut the IM down during work hours or I wouldn't get anything done. Tons and I mean TONS of constant compliments from her, teasing, jokes, interest in every aspect of my life, being very sweet and caring etc. [color=#FF0000;">&lt]<--Red flag #4, attempting to give me an illusion of a relationship, showing that she is interested in me and keep me on the leash.[/color]

We decide to go camping together for an entire weekend, just the two of us.
Fast forward last week, the day before we leave to camping, I noticed that during some jokingly word play about dating she dodged the subject. I am very intuitive in these things (or so I believe) so the next morning I raise the subject once more and she tries to dodge it again. I kept on insisting.
She admits that she has a "few male friends who court her, we just hang out and go for drinks, no strings attached and no commitments". She also admits that another dude banged her "about a month ago" which puts it between the first and second nights that she spent with me.

Quote:

Me: Just to clarify, you ARE intending to "hang out" with several men, right? As in not "just hang out with one man"?
Her: you say that in such a way that makes me sound and feel like a slut...

After that, she stated that she is "not ready to date exclusively, but that doesn't mean that I will hang out with a bunch of guys either".
To which I told her she's not going camping with me and ghosted her.

The problem with this one, why I am asking for a fresh look from the Pros here is that stupid me caught feels (I was even considering an LTR with her!) and I am somewhat derailed since Friday. Didn't stop me from going out Sat night, having a great time and approaching a lot of women, solidifying a date this upcoming weekend, but nevertheless.
Since I realise that she's a ho technically I shouldn't have any feels, so what am I missing?

Thanks in advance.

[Grenblin]

Also, to add to my introduction:
I've noticed that in past few years, even though sometimes I think how nice it would be to have a pretty, loyal woman as my life companion, I realized that with all my hobbies and interests my own time became so valuable to me that if it takes too much time and/or effort to get a woman I just say "F*ck it" and go back to my hobbies without as much as looking back.
Is it apathy toward women?
I've lost interest in a few right after I got them naked in my bed... literally didn't even feel like banging them, just wanted them to GTFO.
Is this something I should start worrying about?

[RatInTheWoods]

I personally would not want to bang or hang with a chick I know is banging other dudes.

Other forum members have no problem with this, but it troubles me. I don't want to kiss a mouth that's had another dudes cock in yesterday.

[Grenblin]

That's is exactly how I see things.
I'm not into vagina timeshares.
And yeah, finding out she was with at least one more dude and then had me kiss her had me quite disgusted.

[Svoboda]

General Stalin wrote this in another thread:

Quote:

It is never a man's role to convince a female to commit to a relationship. Thats her job. If she wants a relationship you will know it. If she is giving away pussy NSA then keep taking it. Eventually you will get tired of fucking her just like any other girl. Also stop pedestaling - there are millions and millions of other hot pieces of ass in the world. Thousands of them live right in your local area.

I find relationships work best if not initiated by the man.

[LeeEnfield303]

(08-18-2016 03:08 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I personally would not want to bang or hang with a chick I know is banging other dudes.

Other forum members have no problem with this, but it troubles me. I don't want to kiss a mouth that's had another dudes cock in yesterday.

   

[Grenblin]

(08-20-2016 12:26 PM)Svoboda Wrote:  

General Stalin wrote this in another thread:

Quote:

It is never a man's role to convince a female to commit to a relationship. Thats her job. If she wants a relationship you will know it. If she is giving away pussy NSA then keep taking it. Eventually you will get tired of fucking her just like any other girl. Also stop pedestaling - there are millions and millions of other hot pieces of ass in the world. Thousands of them live right in your local area.

I find relationships work best if not initiated by the man.

I completely agree with you and General Stalin.
The problem with this one was that the signals she was giving and her behavior mislead me to believe that she was initiating exactly that. That's a miss on my part.

[Grenblin]

(08-21-2016 11:46 AM)LeeEnfield303 Wrote:  

(08-18-2016 03:08 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I personally would not want to bang or hang with a chick I know is banging other dudes.

Other forum members have no problem with this, but it troubles me. I don't want to kiss a mouth that's had another dudes cock in yesterday.

Hahahahaha!
I'm going to use that phrase as an opener!