[JonnyOxford88]

Hi all.

Posting as an English guy here, with a growing situation at work which I'm in two minds about. I am being very forwardly approached at work by an attractive married woman. I've just started my career having finished studying an MSc towards the end of last year. I'm very much in the mindset of not shitting where I eat, and also not fucking another man's wife.

Added to that, I have a long term girlfriend. But here's the thing, she's extremely hot, married and forward... I am almost in disbelief with how outwardly forward she is with her flirty intentions at work, enquiring as to whether I'm single, talking to me showing she is DTF. She works in the office next door, and I am trying hard to have self control. One thing that makes it easier is that she is loud and annoying as fuck (are all American girls like this???). Doing my best to ignore her... but as you know being a guy, you can't trust a dog, but you can trust a dog to be a dog!

First of all, how would you handle this situation, would you fuck a married woman 4 years your elder if she was hot? Secondly, are all American married women like this? She's 30, to paint a better picture.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Think about the possible outcomes here. It could potentially end very, very badly for you. My cynical side (which makes up nearly 100 percent of my identity these days) would tell me that I'm being baited into a trap. She could be looking for a leg up at work or a way out of her marriage and sees you as the ticket back onto the carousel. She could hit you with a sexual harassment claim if you're not extremely careful.

I'm usually highly skeptical of chicks who lay the flirting on too thick. It's suspect. Especially at work.

Questions to ask yourself:

Do you want to keep your job?

Do you want to get dragged into some home wrecking shitstorm of a situation, where it's not entirely unlikely for you to be killed? (by the blue pilled husband) I'm not joking when I say this either. It happens a lot in home wrecking situations. Tread lightly.

Is she setting you up or angling for something? (I'd say that's likely)

Other than the negative outcomes I just outlined, I would also consider the scenario, however unlikely you think it may be, that you end up failing with her. This could mean you fail to fuck her, and she will continue to taunt you at work and will talk about that to the other heckling hens at the office. Or you do manage to fuck her and since youve pedastalized her as such a hot chick already you beta out and then you're stuck in a situation where you're pining after some chick at work.

Not a lot of good outcomes here in my opinion.

[JonnyOxford88]

(07-31-2016 11:42 AM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

Think about the possible outcomes here. It could potentially end very, very badly for you. My cynical side (which makes up nearly 100 percent of my identity these days) would tell me that I'm being baited into a trap. She could be looking for a leg up at work or a way out of her marriage and sees you as the ticket back onto the carousel. She could hit you with a sexual harassment claim if you're not extremely careful.

I'm usually highly skeptical of chicks who lay the flirting on too thick. It's suspect. Especially at work.

Questions to ask yourself:

Do you want to keep your job?

Do you want to get dragged into some home wrecking shitstorm of a situation, where it's not entirely unlikely for you to be killed? (by the blue pilled husband) I'm not joking when I say this either. It happens a lot in home wrecking situations. Tread lightly.

Is she setting you up or angling for something? (I'd say that's likely)

Other than the negative outcomes I just outlined, I would also consider the scenario, however unlikely you think it may be, that you end up failing with her. This could mean you fail to fuck her, and she will continue to taunt you at work and will talk about that to the other heckling hens at the office. Or you do manage to fuck her and since youve pedastalized her as such a hot chick already you beta out and then you're stuck in a situation where you're pining after some chick at work.

Not a lot of good outcomes here in my opinion.

Exactly what I needed to hear. She doesn't work in my department, but regardless how she behaves has so many red flags even for a bit of fun it is ridiculous to consider right now. My other thought that entertained my mind is that her husband likes to watch her get fucked (as she is so open about wanting to fuck me with people in her and my department). Thank you for the thoughts! I'm usually very cynical also!

[Captain Gh]

I'm also thinking that you should pass this up... but for different reasons. I truly don't think you'd be able to properly handle such a seasoned D**k riding w**re! Even a certified player would have to play his cards extremely well with her, and by reading your initial post... you're not quite there... yet.

If you not that kind of Dude, and you have a solid Girl, I would suggest you keep it that way. If you're dying for different pu**y while keeping your Girl... convince her to do a 3some. Whatever you do... stay clear from that Ho at your workplace! Start looking for another job if your Big Boy downstairs disagree with me and Red Pillage!

[kinjutsu]

Best advice for you in regards to girls in your life.

Be very suspicious of any girl tries to get into your life without any energy on your part.

For example, if you go an approach a girl in your class at school then it would be normal for her to show attraction and interest into you.
However, if you're minding your own business and a girl comes on very strong out of the blue then run as far and as fast as you possibly can in the other direction.

From this point forward video record every single interaction with her. After about a month to 6 weeks. Tell her than you have a girl that you're committed to and you'd like her to stop the forward behavior.

Or if you're like me, just gather enough evidence and go to HR and get her ass fired. Make copies of everything.
I'm ruthless with this shit. I don't need some loose woman fucking up my paper chase or even worse fucking up my relationship.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Situations like this are actually very easy to deal with but men make it hard because they feel inclined to be chivalrous and let the woman down lightly.

Reality. The woman is a tramp and needn't be afforded respect. You ought to cement your moral high ground and protect yourself from future depredations via HR.

Step one: Email your supervisor a note that details the problem. I say email quite specifically. If there's not an electronic trail then you leave yourself open to being screwed over if your boss goes feminist/white-knight. The email should run to the effect that you're being approached by this woman in an unsolicited and sexual manner and that you want it to stop because it's making you feel uncomfortable.

From there, act aloof and make your excuses to avoid her. Tell her you're gay if you have to. Understand the gravity of this situation. This could not only be your job on the line, but your future prospects and potentially a criminal record.

Woman that act like this are often gold diggers. She could be priming the pump to sue your company for millions, leaving you unemployable and open to prosecution.

p.s. Send duplicates of your original email once per week for every week this continues, adding "this has still not been dealt with".

[XPQ22]

(07-31-2016 11:15 AM)JonnyOxford88 Wrote:  

Added to that, I have a long term girlfriend. But here's the thing, she's extremely hot, married and forward... I am almost in disbelief with how outwardly forward she is with her flirty intentions at work, enquiring as to whether I'm single, talking to me showing she is DTF.

<snip>

As others have noticed, I'm always skeptical of a woman who lays it on too thick, too quick. I wouldn't believe for a moment that she was actually DTF.

Married women/women in LTRs who use their "vows" as essentially an excuse to go over the top with flirting/IOIs/attention-whoring are as common as shit and about as valuable. There are some regular girls at a bar I chill at sometimes who are always running around chatting with every guy they can get their hands on...I approached a few of them when I didn't know better, but after I was rebuffed on trying to move forward I scoped out a few of their FB pages and they're all married/engaged/"in a relationship." These married/engaged hoes who go out with their girls are always the friendliest hoes in the bar.

Interesting thing is that once I tried to push forward with a couple of them, they all started avoiding me. IMO only way to deal with an overly-friendly, aggressive girl outside of a work situation is to meet her head on. "Ah, you really seem to like me. DTF? Let's go" - in essence. They quickly realize you're no good for attention and leave you alone.

Again, that's outside of work.

Quote:

First of all, how would you handle this situation, would you fuck a married woman 4 years your elder if she was hot?

Sure, if everything were discreet and set up just right. This setup is definitely not just right.

If the word "at work" ever enters one of your mental "game calculations", you should immediately discard the notion.

Quote:

Secondly, are all American married women like this? She's 30, to paint a better picture.

"All" is a pretty wide stroke, but in my experience it's not uncommon. You're likely getting a good helping of it because many American broads dig British accents. They think you're gonna take 'em to Downton Abbey.

In summary:

[WestIndianArchie]

1) I have
2)They are not, but unless that's the only American woman you've ever come in contact with...

This particular woman shows very little discretion. That's her real problem. Everything else can be dealt with.

WIA

[eradicator]

WIA, I'm surprised, you almost sound like you think he should go for the bang here. In the OP, it really sounds like the woman is merely hunting for drama and very likely just wants to get the OP into trouble, and the woman perhaps just gets off on getting guys in trouble and causing them to lose their jobs, like a power trip. I'd be very leery of banging that broad.

[WestIndianArchie]

I've been down this road, and it's a 50/50 in terms of it being worth anything. He's got too much to lose, although I'm guessing his LTR isn't that great if he's even entertaining this.

Aside from being faithful to his LTR, Discretion is the number one reason not to bang. Chicks tend to get sloppy post bang, but sloppiness before the bang is a big red flag. This chick is bad news. But honestly it's not some unheard of scenario. A woman propositioning a man at work is not unusual at all. See the secret society post

But she's supposed to do things discretely.

Lack of discretion is the main issue, but all the other factors are present in the typical night game pull.

She doesn't need to work with him in order to cause problems at his job, or get him fired. Proper motivation is all that the woman needs, see Mattress Girl.

Everything else is par for the course. It only seems like she has extra leverage given the job and his gf.

Right this second she could go to HR and say that HE is creating a hostile work environment. That he is sexually harassing her.

Just making the accusation, even if no formal complaint was entered could make his life hard. The whisper campaign and rumor mill could kill his social standing. And though some of you believe we live in a meritocracy, he can be replaced.

This situation is like being black and getting pulled over.

He has no way to avoid it, nothing to deal with it in the moment, nothing he can really do after the fact, and outsiders and onlookers will side with the bad actor.

All he can do is try to keep his head down, depend on the kindness of the powerful, and survive. Ideally escape from the situation.

Personally, I find work pulls unbecoming of a player (it screams scarcity mentality and lack of discretion on his part), but OP does not seem to be a player, or hold himself out as one.

WIA

[JonnyOxford88]

Update: Said woman walks into our office today, trying to arrange a "floor night out" with everybody making our departments more sociable...convenient. Later on in the day bumped into her in the kitchen where she asked could she see a picture of my girlfriend, and explained that it was for a friend...Also asked for her name, no doubt for a Facebook search.

Bit of a cock tease I think, and very annoying. Told her where to go, but I don't think she will stop for the time being. Seems the persistent type. Of course it would be harassment the other way round I'm sure!

[JonnyOxford88]

Ha, and no I'm not really a player or trying to be. Women do like me though, but never seen this kind of annoying outward attention before.

[Mikan]

(08-01-2016 02:19 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

.
From this point forward video record every single interaction with her. After about a month to 6 weeks. Tell her than you have a girl that you're committed to and you'd like her to stop the forward behavior.

Or if you're like me, just gather enough evidence and go to HR and get her ass fired. Make copies of everything.
I'm ruthless with this shit. I don't need some loose woman fucking up my paper chase or even worse fucking up my relationship.

Its unfortunate that we live in a world where I have to agree with this. Corporate HR is like Bizzaro Sharia law; the testimony of a single male means nothing without corroborating evidence. If she went to HR today and claimed you were harassing her she would be believed without question. Gather your evidence. Audio taping at least a few conversations where she is unambiguously sexual and you politely rebuff her should be a good start.

Cover your ass.

[Kona]

I don't have much corporate experience, but please don't be the guy that runs to the hr department over this. If I worked with you I'd think you were the worlds biddest whiner.

I say bang her. When she's blowing you snap a picture with your phone.

Unless your company has some kind of fraternization policy, stop worrying about the bullshit.

If you don't want to hit it, just tell her.

Again, I think some of these guys on this forum check under the bed for feminism before they go to sleep.

Aloha!

[Leonard D Neubache]

(08-01-2016 10:58 PM)Kona Wrote:  

I don't have much corporate experience, but please don't be the guy that runs to the hr department over this. If I worked with you I'd think you were the worlds biddest whiner.

I say bang her. When she's blowing you snap a picture with your phone.

Unless your company has some kind of fraternization policy, stop worrying about the bullshit.

If you don't want to hit it, just tell her.

Again, I think some of these guys on this forum check under the bed for feminism before they go to sleep.

Aloha!

Pfft. One day a feminism is going to crawl out from under your bed while you're sleeping and when you wake up your dick will be gone.

And on that day I will be very sorry to say "I told you so".

[Cobra]

If you want to get laid, there are many better ways to do it than at work. Don't shit where you eat. I can guarantee that you will be the one cleaning it up.

[Wreckingball]

You are in an LTR, so why are you considering this? We all need variety, but if you really would like to get your dick on this girl, then something is failing on your LTR.
So, step #1) Reevaluate your LTR.

#2A) If you value your LTR, gather evidence for future. Just tell her that you would love to meet her, go for a drink and whatever comes after that, but you would feel guilty. Be beta. Women hate beta. She should stop. If she doesn't, find out who her husband is. At the same time let your higher hierarchy know that you think you may be victim of harassment.

#2B) If you don't really value your LTR, gather evidence for future. Then be alpha and do whatever the fuck you want to.

The odds are not in your favor:
you may lose your girl (they are all replaceable, but...)
you may get a shitty bang and/or a sloppy makeout/blowjob
you may lose your job and reputation

[griffinmill]

Be wary of a girl who is heavily flirting with you and seems to be offering herself up on a platter to you. Girls who want to be fucked don't necessarily behave like that - especially at work where there is the possibility of shaming from fellow co-workers.

Cock-teasers behave like that though.

Ever heard a girl say "But I was just being friendly! I'm flirty with everyone!"?

Exactly.

If she's sincere, don't do it. Unless you don't give a shit about your job. Also: the husband knows where to find you.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(08-01-2016 10:58 PM)Kona Wrote:  

I don't have much corporate experience, but please don't be the guy that runs to the hr department over this. If I worked with you I'd think you were the worlds biddest whiner.

I say bang her. When she's blowing you snap a picture with your phone.

Unless your company has some kind of fraternization policy, stop worrying about the bullshit.

If you don't want to hit it, just tell her.

Again, I think some of these guys on this forum check under the bed for feminism before they go to sleep.

Aloha!

I don't need to look for it under the bed, because I see it every day, every where. In case you haven't noticed it's permeated every nook and cranny of western institutions, including corporate america. I'm just jealous of where ever you are that you aren't yet aware of that.

[Kona]

It sounds like we've come full circle if this is really the way it is.

A really hot married thirty year old tells this guy she wants to fuck him.

Instead of advice on how to make that happen discretely, the consensus is:

1) Be Leary of women that tell you they want to have sex with you.

2) Document everything, and when you have enough evidence go to the hr department.

Its better to be known as the guy that snitches, than be the guy that gets blowjobs at lunch.

I'm beside myself.

Aloha!

[iknowexactly]

(08-02-2016 04:17 AM)Cobra Wrote:  

If you want to get laid, there are many better ways to do it than at work. Don't shit where you eat. I can guarantee that you will be the one cleaning it up.

Yeah, real bad idea. You are ALWAYS the guilty one in USA if you're the male, anything else is literally unthinkable.

Also, I've been guilty of this myself, but going after another man's wife shows a poverty mentality that is bigger than this particular situation.

Best to think of yourself as a hunter that can go after and get game that isn't spoiled and rotten. Improve your self image.

Also I'm against ratting in general, the blowback is often worse than the complaint causing situation, but if you have any inkling this slut will turn against you you might as well mention-- MAYBE first verbally to feel it out-- to your boss she's coming on to you.

It's merely going into a fallout shelter, while her complaint is a nuclear attack.
The benefit is that you can alert your boss to what's up, without filing a formal complaint, this frees your boss to do nothing if that's best in the situation but might reduce the impact if she goes after you.

I'm not that experienced with workplace vendettas, someone with legal experience could finesse this better.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(08-02-2016 03:56 PM)Kona Wrote:  

It sounds like we've come full circle if this is really the way it is.

A really hot married thirty year old tells this guy she wants to fuck him.

Instead of advice on how to make that happen discretely, the consensus is:

1) Be Leary of women that tell you they want to have sex with you.

2) Document everything, and when you have enough evidence go to the hr department.

Its better to be known as the guy that snitches, than be the guy that gets blowjobs at lunch.

I'm beside myself.

Aloha!

Come on man.

If he was serving tables at a local Denny's I'd agree with you. But assuming he's got a professional job of some sort he's better off not taking the chance. I and the other posters are operating under the assumption that he needs this job. We are offering what we believe to be an objective assessment of the available data. You are over simplifying the potential consequences simply because it's pussy.

Chasing pussy at work is textbook scarcity mentality. The guys i see at work who pine after the chicks they work with are never getting any.

If any of us thought he was smooth enough or cynical enough to not get fucked over (which I cannot think of a more perfect setup for being potentially fucked over) then I'd agree with you. When's the last time you heard of a smoov mac daddy posting about how to fuck a girl at work? Let alone one who is being as apparently obvious as this one? It's the realm of the pussy-naive to be asking such questions in the first place and we are trying to take that into consideration in our replies.

Quote:

1) Be Leary of women that tell you they want to have sex with you.

No one said this explicitly, you are cherry picking. I said when a chick lays it on too thick that it's suspect. That reflects my experience. Why not offer a rebuttal instead being dismissive?

Quote:

Its better to be known as the guy that snitches, than be the guy that gets blowjobs at lunch.

I don't agree with the snitching either. But in either case it's better to not be the guy who gets fucked in the ass by a fucked up, man hating system. If you've not had to deal with it, then I envy you.

One thing the OP should clarify is this:

Quote:

talking to me showing she is DTF.

How exactly is she showing you she's DTF? I need specifics. Did she say the words "lets fuck"? Or is there room for plausible deniability, however slim? That's an important detail I need clarified. If it's the latter, I can all but guarantee she's full of shit.

[kaotic]

(08-02-2016 03:56 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Its better to be known as the guy that snitches, than be the guy that gets blowjobs at lunch.

I'm beside myself.

Aloha!

While this is true - the dude is just starting out his career.

Granted we'd love to be in a positions like his.

But when has shit that's almost fantasy like played out nicely.

So he gets the bang we give him congrats of course.

He then reaches out for advice:

-She's constantly hitting me up - burner phone - more discreetness
-She's nagging me about my girlfriend, while bitching about her husband.
-She wants me to leave my GF and she promises to leave her husband.
-I left my GF for her, but she hasn't left her husband yet.
-She claims her husband is abusive and angry. (or finds out about the adultery)
-I'm trying to end things/I've ended things with her.
-I've got an sexual harassment case filed on my hands or worse a rape case.


I know this thread is VERY cynical but for good reason. The men here are playing this out logically in their heads based on experiences.

This sound maybe foolish - while we love straight up talk, we're weary of VERY forward females who conduct themselves sexually.

I've fucked 2 female coworkers and a few few customers at a college job I had, but there hasn't been any hotties at my corpo job so I haven't been tempted.

Hell I got a mutual friend hired here and I hardly talk to him outside of a professional manner.

[Kona]

This just reads like an advice column from cosmopolitan to me.

Especially the "gather enough evidence then go to hr" that the guy says he does because he's "ruthless." Even the definition of ruthless has changed.

I fraternized with lots of women for nine years in the navy. Some of those bangs could have landed me in jail. I never had one single problem. I suppose it is because I used what we call "frame" properly.

Make sure its understood that nobody is telling anyone. Make sure the situation ends on a friendly note, also.

And the perfect quote in this thread above by kaotic: " when has shit that's almost fantasy like played out nicely"

Not very often. So when it does, capitalize. Don't complain to human recources.

Aloha!

[kaotic]

(08-02-2016 04:46 PM)Kona Wrote:  

This just reads like an advice column from cosmopolitan to me.

Especially the "gather enough evidence then go to hr" that the guy says he does because he's "ruthless." Even the definition of ruthless has changed.

I fraternized with lots of women for nine years in the navy. Some of those bangs could have landed me in jail. I never had one single problem. I suppose it is because I used what we call "frame" properly.

Make sure its understood that nobody is telling anyone. Make sure the situation ends on a friendly note, also.

And the perfect quote in this thread above by kaotic: " when has shit that's almost fantasy like played out nicely"

Not very often. So when it does, capitalize. Don't complain to human recources.

Aloha!

I agree, no need to snitch or any of that shit, just hold your frame if you don't want her advances.

Stay cool and aloof.

Last thing you want to show a predatory female is any sign of weakness.