[joaolamp123]

Hello guys,

Usually these situations happen all the time with me, so i would like to know your opinion to improve my approach. I dont have problems approaching girls and getting numbers, but I think that our advice in cases like this can improve my game.

Met this girl in an dating app. We have a friend in common (that lives far away from where we are right know), so our initial conversation was very good. I got her number and received a lot of messages from her in the first 8 days (all the time she initiated the interaction, I was just keeping everything light and funny and trying to be a challenge).
Then after 10 days from the initial interaction I sent her a message asking her for a date. She replied the message but didnt said anything about the date, so i just ignored and didnt reply her anymore... the next day morning she sent me a long message, apologizing (the bs it was that she was tired lol kkkk!!!) and saying that she didnt know if it would be possible to go (weird situation!!!), asking for more time to answer (for sure to find a good excuse!!!)... i said no problem and didnt message her after this!!
So at the night she sent me a message with a bs excuse, saying that she would be glad to be asked for dates in another opportunities (and suggested a group date with her friends in another day, which I refused saying that i was busy kkkk)... The akward situation it was that she sent me a message the night of the day i invited her, asking me if I was at the bar enjoying....
3 days after she sent me a message, and I replied aloof... then I noticed that she started to act cold (starting the conversation and not replying after my message....).
I waited 3 days and asked her for a date on the weekend. Then I noticed that she was not using the whatsapp for 2 days (strange), so I added her on facebook and found that was her birthday (i sent her a message of happy birthday there without mention anything about the date). She didnt reply the message in the facebook messenger....
Then after 2 days I received a message of her on whatsapp accepting the date for sunday (it was saturday). She said that she lost her phone, and I couldnt see her picture on the app (she was using her friends cell and probably didnt add my number in the contact list). Although it was very strange, it sounded very reasonable and I could identify in her social media proofs that she really lost her phone.
We went for the date in a restaurant next my home... I an attractive guy, but i noticed since the beggining that she was not confortable there (avoiding eye contact, sometimes looking to her cellphone). It was a little bit strange, but in the end of the conversation she suggested to meet for a second date during the week (what surprised me, because i was thinking that the date was really not good at that time). I said it was not possible because I had to travel because of my job (its true, I had to spent 14 days out of the city)...Anyway, we left the restaurant and i walked with her to her apartment (it was near there too). During this walking, I noticed the conversation got better. When was the time to say goodbye, i decided to try the kiss (usually I only do this kind of thing when the date was great, what didnt was the case), and she avoided saying that we should meet more times (bs probably).
For me it was strange, but I decided to not give up yet. 1 day and a half after this I sent a message asking how she was (and I put a comment about one of the things we discussed during the date) and saying that I already left the city, but would like to meet her when I return....she only replied 1 day and a half after this, but it was a good response (saying that we should get together again!!)
Then she started with the cold replies again... she didnt answer my reply after the last message.... she waited 4 days and sent me a message asking if I was back in the city (which I replied saying that i would take more 7 days to return).... then she waited another 4 days to reply saying "hey, thats a lot of time", so I replied saying that as soon as I arrived in the city i would send her a message... she didnt reply this message...
When I returned, I sent her a message asking her for a date and she replied (but not mentioning the date again!!!!)...I gave her a short reply and didnt get anything back... I waited 2 days and noticed that she didnt add me in the contact list since she lost her phone, so I decided to do a test. I deleted her from my contact list (so my picture on the whatsapp would disappear in her phone)... It took less than 1 hour for her to realize that I deleted her number from my contact list (because I noticed that she added me in the contact list - her picture started to appear on my whatsapp)....
I would like to know what are your opinion about my mistakes and what went wrong (and if I have any chance if I go for NC for a long time)!!!

Best regards!!!

[Mjölnir]

Is she brazilian ?

How old is she ?

Your text is very long, and it seems like you give too much of a shit man, put her on the backburner and game other girls, and girls she knows, if you can.. (not her close friends tho)

[TheMaleBrain]

TL;DR
Spin more plates.

That is one long story.
Sorry to tell you, but she has stuff happening.
Let's trace it:
1. Messages initiated by her - good sign.
Why wait 10 days? Next time do it after the first day ("We should meet. Come to X place on Sat 20:00").
2. "she started to act cold" - probably lost interest.
This case, just move on, and ping once in a while.
3. "She said that she lost her phone" - could be.
4. "We went for the date in a restaurant next my home"-
lesson 1 - never a restaurant on first dates. Pubs or coffee shops are way better.
5. "i decided to try the kiss" - too late. You should have done as Krauser does and tell her "Next street will stop and I'll kiss you". Going for the kiss at the very end, makes things awkward. It usually fails.
Her avoidance - either ASD or that attraction was not strong (probably the latter).
6. Traveling - I understand its your job, but it is counter productive to go on a first date, and than to travel.
This brings the temperature down.
If you can, next time with a girl, try to see her 2-3 times (and bang) before you travel. At least build strong attraction, because girls will flake otherwise.

My advice - spin more plates. You were in a bad logistical situation. To take care of it you need more options.

[joaolamp123]

Yeah, she is brazilian and 29 years old. Also a very pretty girl, what usually requires you to be on the top of your game (in terms of confidence).
Im spinning more plates, but I usually have problems with girls that I have really strong attraction... I dont know, maybe they can sense this as soon as they see me for the first time, its something difficult to identify.... im really ok with my appearance (always notice women looking at me on the streets), i dont think this is the problem. What I can tell you is that usually women that I have a big crush give me a hard time after meeting me for the first time. Its difficult to run normal game in these situations, because women are emotional creatures and to change the first impression in their mind usually is a really hard work...
Gaming girls that she knows its a good idea, I think i can try this...anyway, I appreciate the replies and i am really glad to find this forum (so I can improve my game and help you anytime too)

Thanks!!!