Not exactly a story on gaming a girl. But relevant nevertheless:
A few weeks ago, I was out on my street (in a nice quiet neighborhood), talking on the phone with my friend. It was pretty late out (11pm). I might've been a bit loud. But I've done this numerous times (being outside, just walking around and talking on the phone).
This old lady suddenly comes out of her house from across the street. She shines her flashlight in my eyes, starts yelling, asking me what I'm doing on this street, telling me I'm waking everyone up and threatening to call the cops on me. I don't say a word, do a 180 and just walk away. Not going to lie, there was a part of me that wondered if she was being a racist (I have a dark skin tone) and would've threatened to call the cops if I was white. Anyway, this is the only instance like this I've experienced in many years. So I'm not going to pull a race card and assume she was just an old cranky lady (but damn it's amazing to see how insidious the entire race baiting thing can be).
Here's the thing: afterwards I was absolutely furious. I was deeply regretting not punching her in the face, confronting her or calling her bluff, demanding she call the cops so she can have her face printed in the newspapers the next day as a racist. Anything, just something to one up that lady. I understand that I did the right thing (walked away), and my brain just flooded later with rage at the humiliation. And it makes sense - in prehistoric times if some random person just walked up to you and started yelling, was a pretty good sign violence was coming - fight or flight response gets activated. So does rage mode when you feel you've been unfairly treated.
But is that flooding of the brain avoidable? I do wonder if for example I'm trying to game a girl and she pulls some nonsense on me, if I'll be able to keep my cool. Not going to lie, I do feel a bit ashamed of my thoughts after this incidence and the rage I felt. And I'd love to get to a point where I can experience something like this and not be bothered at all. Maybe it's not possible. Maybe I'm just wired to respond the way I did. Maybe I did all one can reasonable ask a human being. But since this is a forum dedicated to self-improvement, would love to hear other people's perspectives/advice.
A few weeks ago, I was out on my street (in a nice quiet neighborhood), talking on the phone with my friend. It was pretty late out (11pm). I might've been a bit loud. But I've done this numerous times (being outside, just walking around and talking on the phone).
This old lady suddenly comes out of her house from across the street. She shines her flashlight in my eyes, starts yelling, asking me what I'm doing on this street, telling me I'm waking everyone up and threatening to call the cops on me. I don't say a word, do a 180 and just walk away. Not going to lie, there was a part of me that wondered if she was being a racist (I have a dark skin tone) and would've threatened to call the cops if I was white. Anyway, this is the only instance like this I've experienced in many years. So I'm not going to pull a race card and assume she was just an old cranky lady (but damn it's amazing to see how insidious the entire race baiting thing can be).
Here's the thing: afterwards I was absolutely furious. I was deeply regretting not punching her in the face, confronting her or calling her bluff, demanding she call the cops so she can have her face printed in the newspapers the next day as a racist. Anything, just something to one up that lady. I understand that I did the right thing (walked away), and my brain just flooded later with rage at the humiliation. And it makes sense - in prehistoric times if some random person just walked up to you and started yelling, was a pretty good sign violence was coming - fight or flight response gets activated. So does rage mode when you feel you've been unfairly treated.
But is that flooding of the brain avoidable? I do wonder if for example I'm trying to game a girl and she pulls some nonsense on me, if I'll be able to keep my cool. Not going to lie, I do feel a bit ashamed of my thoughts after this incidence and the rage I felt. And I'd love to get to a point where I can experience something like this and not be bothered at all. Maybe it's not possible. Maybe I'm just wired to respond the way I did. Maybe I did all one can reasonable ask a human being. But since this is a forum dedicated to self-improvement, would love to hear other people's perspectives/advice.