[Palo_alto]

Gents,

After become a serial monogamist for having a current 10 month relationship I feel like my gaming abilities are becoming rusty. Specially shit test passing.

Current girl told me last night the following line:

-Why do you not want to make love with me anymore?
-Why you never tell me you love me after we have sex?

*We used to fuck 3-5 times per day when we just met. Now we bang once a day, maybe once every 2 days. I see her 3/4 times per week.

I love her but I have never told her.

Was this a shit test?

My response, was:

Why do you always have to ruin a great day with your women bullshit. I am tired of this shit. Left and drove home angry.

6 calls later, 3 texts, which I did not repply. She tells me this morning that she loves and that we should work things out, have a nice day, love you babe.

Gracias amigos

[WestIndianArchie]

Why don't you bang her as much?

WIA

[Palo_alto]

She is really good looking and good in bed. Just got tired of banging the same ass for about 7 months. We have been togeteher for 10, first 3 months I was bangings other gals.

Looks like the novelty has gone. I have done everything with this girl in bed.

Should I try to spice things up? Maybe things are over by now ah?

[Ringo]

From experience, if the desire is dead, the relationship is dead. Not saying you've reached this point yet - but just keep in mind that if she lost her attractiveness to you, then what's the point? Do you feel your libido is lower overall or just towards her?

From the OP it seems you are not worried about the relationship or the girl. You're worried wether or not you passed what you called a shit test.

First, I wouldn't call it a shit test.

Girls use shit tests as a tool to evaluate your reaction. They shit test you to see how you'll react when presented to them - they are not particularly worried about the answer.

The questions your girl is asking stem from insecurity. She's attached to and emotionally invested in you, but feels you are not reciprocating and might me losing interest. She's trying to understand what's going on - she's actually interested in the answer.

Having said that, although it wasn't a proper shit test (at least in my view) you did answer well enough to buy yourself some time and keep frame.

Again, think - what do you want our of her?

[NickDunne]

I just cannot have even remotely the same level of desire for a girl after knowing her for more than a couple of months as I had in the beginning. And I think >90% of guys are like that. So nothing to apologize about.

And you handled it well but the love question will come back. For the sex one, she will soon stop caring as well. Especially after you drop the L bomb.

[WestIndianArchie]

She has no value for you other than the occasional fuck.

She's right. You're no longer interested.
You should cut her loose and free yourself.

Or go back to getting something on the side to appreciate her.

Otherwise your game suffers as you keep trying to recycle a chick you don't truly like.

Been there.

Had I manned up earlier in a lot of situations and realized that the bangs were less satisfying and the non bang time wasn't improving me...I'd be in a better place today.

WIA

[BoiBoi]

(07-11-2016 12:37 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

She has no value for you other than the occasional fuck.

She's right. You're no longer interested.
You should cut her loose and free yourself.

Or go back to getting something on the side to appreciate her.

Otherwise your game suffers as you keep trying to recycle a chick you don't truly like.

Been there.

Had I manned up earlier in a lot of situations and realized that the bangs were less satisfying and the non bang time wasn't improving me...I'd be in a better place today.

WIA

Quoted for truth.

[Palo_alto]

(07-11-2016 09:51 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

From experience, if the desire is dead, the relationship is dead. Not saying you've reached this point yet - but just keep in mind that if she lost her attractiveness to you, then what's the point? Do you feel your libido is lower overall or just towards her?

From the OP it seems you are not worried about the relationship or the girl. You're worried wether or not you passed what you called a shit test.

First, I wouldn't call it a shit test.

Girls use shit tests as a tool to evaluate your reaction. They shit test you to see how you'll react when presented to them - they are not particularly worried about the answer.

The questions your girl is asking stem from insecurity. She's attached to and emotionally invested in you, but feels you are not reciprocating and might me losing interest. She's trying to understand what's going on - she's actually interested in the answer.

Having said that, although it wasn't a proper shit test (at least in my view) you did answer well enough to buy yourself some time and keep frame.

Again, think - what do you want our of her?

Thank you for your honest answer.

Libido is lower overall. I would still jack off to porn. Just the sensation of eagerly fucking my LTR is not there anymore. Maybe I have become Desensitize due to porn. I will go cold turkey for 10 days (business travel) and see how it goes once I got back.

Last night we have a deep talk and I basically told her that I was very stress with work and tired, which is true. I also stopped taking ZINC.

I still love her. I do not want to cheat on her. I respect her but you are right, desire is no longer there. No desire = no future.

[Vaun]

(07-11-2016 12:37 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

She has no value for you other than the occasional fuck.

She's right. You're no longer interested.
You should cut her loose and free yourself.

Or go back to getting something on the side to appreciate her.

Otherwise your game suffers as you keep trying to recycle a chick you don't truly like.

Been there.

Had I manned up earlier in a lot of situations and realized that the bangs were less satisfying and the non bang time wasn't improving me...I'd be in a better place today.

WIA

So true. Time is your most valuable commodity. Spend it wisely. To a woman time means nothing, they will waste theirs and yours if it means a few hours more of attention, a free meal, or even some validation. Pull the rug out and take back your life. There is no sense in continuing to even associate with this girl if she doesnt do it for you. Even the most infrequent side plates that I would never consider doing anything in public with or spending a dime on, turn me on. I wouldn't waste time on a chick you have no desire for. What else is there left?

[Ringo]

(07-12-2016 09:42 AM)Palo_alto Wrote:  

Thank you for your honest answer.

Libido is lower overall. I would still jack off to porn. Just the sensation of eagerly fucking my LTR is not there anymore. Maybe I have become Desensitize due to porn. I will go cold turkey for 10 days (business travel) and see how it goes once I got back.

Last night we have a deep talk and I basically told her that I was very stress with work and tired, which is true. I also stopped taking ZINC.

I still love her. I do not want to cheat on her. I respect her but you are right, desire is no longer there. No desire = no future.

This is always tough because while everything is "right", the main thing - desire - isn't there. It's like having a huge complex machine with thousands of parts working in sync, except there's no power to switch it on.

I had this happen to me recently with a LTR of 3 years.

She was pressuring me into getting more serious, I was trying my best to keep her but couldn't help my mind from wondering. I wanted to break up but couldn't pull the trigger, so I stopped banging her for a few days - she grew frustrated and realized what was up.

For sure stop watching porn and jacking off. This should help.

If you reckon you have no desire for her anymore, the only thing that is fair to break up. If the relationship is not improving, then it's getting worse. Don't wait, don't waste either of your times. Pull the band-aid and let time do its thing.

[kaotic]

Palo cut the porn off immediately.

I did and it helped immensely.

Take zinc or ZMA again.

I did recently and my sex drive has seen a slight increase in intensity (could be placebo effect)

I get it, I was in almost a 2 year relationship, I kept the fire going because there was still passion. We would still fuck constantly up until the end. There would be the occasional funk, where for some reason I couldn't get it up, or she was on her period. I saw her 2 to 3 times a week.

I always try to make it a point with any girl that I'm seeing that every time we hangout we fuck.

I would get pussy constantly on the side to keep my emotions even leveled, the chase is what got me hard.

But having my LTR come over in new lingerie or using my whip or tying her up and making her squirt got me hard as well.


It sounds like you gotta spice shit up with your sex life, try going on a trip together also. You'll learn alot about eachother on a trip.