[jergens007]

Hey guys!

After 3 years of messing around with different women, enjoying many 1 night stand. I finally met a girl who I am highly interested in. A girl who i can see myself dating long term.

I talk to one of my friends via text who is a big time player and is good with the women. I cant talk to him on the phone since he is overseas in Europe.

One thing he mentioned through our text is that, Dont tell women you have feelings or you like them, it will leave you "Vulnerable"

I take it, if the girl know you like them, they will take advantage of you? She has the upper power to manipulate my mind?

let me know what your thoughts are.

thanks, !!!

[HankMoody]

Just because you like a woman, don't turn into a giant blubbering vagina. Act like you've been there before.

[aeroektar]

The person who cares less about the relationship controls it.

Don't show more commitment then her and you should be all set.

[General Stalin]

What your friend is trying to say is that you need to let her be the one to have the "feelings." She needs to be the one to say she's into you, wants to date you, be bf/gf, etc. Your supposed to be the masculine one. Confessing your love to her lets her know that she has you and you are ready to "commit" before she is. This is not how the male-female relationship dynamic should work.

[tomzestatlu]

Simply: If you tell her or show her first, that you have feelings about her, she will definitely leave you. You will lose all your value for her. I have this experience.
Be cold, let her to express feelings, then you can give her some feelings back, but only a little. She must be in tension and never sure about you.

[Dr. Howard]

(07-05-2016 09:21 PM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

Simply: If you tell her or show her first, that you have feelings about her, she will definitely leave you. You will lose all your value for her. I have this experience.
Be cold, let her to express feelings, then you can give her some feelings back, but only a little. She must be in tension and never sure about you.

Agreed. Don't tell her or be overt about it. Hold her hand a little longer, give her a wink across the room, give her 'relationship' butterflies but let your words be stoic and cold. Build romantic tension, the same as sexual tension, give her tension but let her close the deal on a relationship.

[Cobra]

It doesn't even have to be you telling them you like them. The way you act around her even with your body language can show her that you care more about her than she does you. It could be as simple as you taking her out to an expensive dinner or even how you show her affection publicly.

Even in my long term relationship, I find myself in cycles where I'm too tired to make decisions and inadvertently lose frame. However, I've learned to walk it back as I have a "cushion" from the relationship I have developed over many years. You don't have the same leverage so your reactions need to be that much more deliberate.

Chances are you are losing your frame already as well; so better to run the opposite way as soon as possible. Remember that masculinity and confidence don't just come from the words you use.

[Easy_C]

Personally I don't think it matters much. Nothing wrong with liking them...but you must never be in a state of mind where you've put them above yourself and feel a need to try to please them. The reason that some guys can get away with grand romantic gestures is that they're Doing it because they want to and not because they feel like they have to.

[jamaicabound]

I think you can show a girl your interested in her without having to turn it into this I like you, check yes or no if you like me stuff. Girls I'm not into I treat the relationship a certain way and girls I am into I will treat the relationship a bit differently. They will pick up on it without my saying it and typically they will be the first one to verbalize they dig me or want something a bit more or whatever.

Though I don't do it, I don't necessarily see anything wrong with telling someone your digging them or enjoy spending time with them, etc. That said don't let yourself be walked on, dont put anyone above yourself, etc.

[greekgod]

You can enjoy anything in the world, my friend. And as a human, you can express that.

Remember when you were a little kid and the terror on the playground was the most popular one? All the girls chased him? It's because he enjoyed being Petey the Pirate more than anyone else. That enthusiasm translates to commitment and results. And results get resources. Women instinctively know this. They can't communicate it for shit but they know it.

WHAT YOU CAN'T DO IS ADMIRE SOMETHING. To admire something means you hold it in esteem. You are enamored by it. It is above you. You are below therefore you cannot question it because it knows better. If it knows better than you, you'll never get better results than it. Meaning, you'll never get more resources than it could on its own. You're actually a drain.

To have sex with a women, 99% of the time, you must be better than her so she gets underneath you. Ya dig?

Unfortunately, you can't fake this.

After five years, you haven't absorbed anything.

No matter what we tell you or if you get "this girl", you're on the wrong path. Back to the drawing board.

[TornadoByProxy]

"I cant talk to him on the phone since he is overseas in Europe."

Never heard of FaceTime, Skype, Viber, or Whatsapp?

[XXL]

I guess he meant that when you reveal your true feelings for a girl she disengage a bit with you as she now nows she has you.

You know that feeling when you're not sure whether some girl you really like acts hot and cold in a way that you never know where you stand with her? Even when you know she likes you she never said/did anything overt to confirm it's official so willingly or not she keeps you on your toes with her vague demeanor. This is it. Girls feel the same when you keep it unofficial in a similar fashion so if that's what you want then that is what you need to do.

Basically by revealing your feelings you show your cards and give her a chance to play you.

[Lagavulin]

Do you want to be a challenge or a pushover?

What do you think she wants in a man?

[jergens007]

thanks for the advice guys!!!! Im not a push over! no way! im usually the player. However to make things a lil complicated, she lives in a different state for college. She comes homes every 2-3 months. but i wont tell her that i have feelings/like her, ill have to play my cards right.

[nola]

(07-05-2016 08:27 PM)aeroektar Wrote:  

The person who cares less about the relationship controls it.

Don't show more commitment then her and you should be all set.

I learned this young and it took me 10 years or so to finally get in control of my emotions enough to implement said control. It's actually pretty exhausting sometimes even distracting nowadays.

Every now and then a girl I'm with will say it seems like you don't even care if we see each other or your never call or text me.

Now I'm just blunt and say yeah... after years of investing in girls I'm kinda over it. You'd think they would run away but all it does is bring them all the more closer. My success on the short term has improved 10 fold acting like this but long term they eventually give up. I'm still teetering as I get older if this is a good decision or a bad one and how to measure that.

[Easy_C]

General rule of thumb is that they should be wondering if you really like them, not the other way round.

[Dalaran1991]

Every time the subject of vulnerability comes up, I just have to post this video.

Seriously there's more redpill in this 4 min than you can pack in a library.

This is where the common wisdom "the power of a relationship lies with whoever cares less" comes from. Guys spit this out all the time, but you gotta learn it from the source.

Listen to Micheal Douglas: "Its your feeling for her that's killing your game"

[AboveAverageJoe]

Don't tell her you like her, tell her you like screwing her. When a woman asks AAJ "Do you like me?" He answers "I like being inside you." This establishes that you see her as a sex toy. Let her campaign for the relationship. Men want sex and youthful beauty. Women want comfort, security and a solid dicking down.

[heavy]

I tell girls I like them. Even I really like them. In a firm, manly, assertive way.

Maybe it's beta, but I do.

There are a billion other ways for her to know I can find another one if needed.

Edit: AboveAverageJoe just read your post. Yep. One thing I definitely do is say "I really like fucking you" or "I love being inside you", especially while we're fucking.

[AboveAverageJoe]

^^^I forgot to ad the while fucking part. The latter is one of my go to lines before I break out the real filthy talk. It sets up the truly depraved shit I will say too them later.

[Eddie Winslow]

(07-07-2016 08:40 AM)heavy Wrote:  

I tell girls I like them. Even I really like them. In a firm, manly, assertive way.

Maybe it's beta, but I do.

There are a billion other ways for her to know I can find another one if needed.

Edit: AboveAverageJoe just read your post. Yep. One thing I definitely do is say "I really like fucking you" or "I love being inside you", especially while we're fucking.

I agree man - I think it's only bad to tell a girl you liker her if you are needy or putting her above you. This requires a high degree of honesty with oneself. There are prerequisites that need to apply:

1. You must have dominated her vagina multiple times beforehand.
2. She must have made at least one obvious effort to please you or make your life easier (travel considerable time/distance to see you, make you a meal, buy you something, etc.)

I enjoy doing kind things to all people, including women I'm attracted to. Not showing affection or appreciation is unnatural to me - it is very frustrating that we get punished for being kind. However, as long as she knows you are a high value guy with options, she doesn't really have the upper hand or have you in a compromising position.

Just never forget your value and be prepared to walk if she's an asshole.

[marinhogomes]

I've used to be naive about that.

Do you know when you fall in love with a girl, and you have this feeling that you need to do something about it... and your mind tells you "You just need to go and tell her how you are feeling".

Although it's true you have to take actions to get what you want. Telling her how you feel is not a very good strategy.

All this romantic films we watch from Hollywood try to teach you, that all that it takes for a girl to fall in love with you, is to open up about your emotions for her. (remember this are films developed to please woman, and not man)

Bull crap!

When you tell a girl you like her, you put way too much pressure on her, and as we all know... girls don't react very goot to pressure or in having to take huge responsabilities.

How many times have I make that mistakes?? Way to many. And it very rarely works

Do you know how undecisive girls can be... have you tried asking a girl you're dating:
Where do you want to go?

Her answer will mostly be:
I don't know. Where do YOU wanna go? (even though she probably knows where she wants to go)

That is pretty much a way of putting the responsability of choosing the place on your court.



A man that tells a girl how he feels, put himself on a position where he has the most to lose.

It's fine when you already have a relationship with a girl, and you developed feelings for her to say something. Otherwise you just putting yourself on a bad position.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Would you tell your opponent you have a full house or are bluffing?

If she tells you shes caught feelings first then you can play it from there but always play it cool until then.

[AboveAverageJoe]

Girls tell you they want you to express your feelings and they really believe it, but once they see the chink in a man's armor or his Achilles heel they will exploit it because they don't really want a man with feelings. They are subconciously attracted to psychopathic dark-triad men for a reason. Getting you to discuss feelings is the ultimate shit test. Anyway they mean "what are your feelings about me?" It is just validation-seeking behavior that can and will be used against you at the soonest possible moment.

[DonnyGately]

If you want a girl to invest in you, you have to invest in her at some point. But yes, never say you're catching feelings unless she does first.

I tell girls I like them all the time. Some of them I'm even sincere.