Hi all,
I am a long-time lurker and huge fan of this forum. I have learned a lot from reading awesome and insightful posts here.
I'll try to keep my story and problem brief and to the point.
Almost 2 years ago I got out of a 2 year relationship with a girl that really tore me a part (cheated on me while abroad in college and cheated right before we broke up). I was in-experienced and didn't really know what I was doing during this time. I had been with around 5 girls before her, but nothing as "strong" and long-term as this. After research from this forum and other outlets, I realized that a lot of her abuse was a result of me becoming complacent and lacking self-love.
Anyways the break-up was actually a really awesome thing at first. I started hitting the gym, eating right, meditating every morning and learned about game. Learning about game really gave me a lot of hope because I think a lot of my misery with women in the past was a result of not feeling like I had a lot of opportunity with women. So I dove into gaming which consisted of night game at first. When night gaming, I would usually ride solo to the club. I never had any success from night game and so I switched over to daygame and this only provided somewhere between 3-4 datess with no lays. This was over the course of 1 year or so. I hit both pretty hard. When night gaming I would go out 2 nights a week and when I started day gaming I was going out maybe 3 - 4 times a week. After a while I started strictly doing day game and I got pretty good in terms of approaching and having strong interactions. During this time I ended meeting a girl in my social circle who I would go on to bang for 2 months and as a result I really let my skills slip. This would lead to a 5 month period where I was no longer doing any sort of day gaming.
Lately, I have been pretty bummed out about letting my skills slip. In addition I have a lot of doubt given the way things are going with women and by this I mean women overall just being more into their social network world and their following there. I feel like just another thirsty guy trying to get her attention. Sometimes I feel like day game just isn't the best way to meet women(online isn't really an option because while I am not a bad looking guy, I have never had luck with online game). Also, I should mention that all of this has happened while I was living in one of the worst cities to game in the US(leaving out for anonymity), but the city is usually bashed pretty bad here.
On a more positive note, I recently got a job that would allow me to work remotely from anywhere in the US and possibly in South America. After some research on the forum I am interested in visiting Chicago/Austin/New York City/Nashville.
The only thing that concerns me is my lack of day game skill and feeling lonely when I get to these places. I lost a lot of friends because I invested so much time in my previous long-term relationship and after college a lot friends just drifted away. So, while I am super excited to be able to live wherever I want in the US, I am bummed about my poor social skills for meeting women and other like minded people to chill with. To top it all off, lately I have been coming really close to texting my ex. Recently my mind has been bombarding me with old memories and illusions that I can make things work again. To be clear, I know this is absolutely the worst thing I could do.
Personally, I think it just comes down to me trying to figure how I can stop being a little bitch about my ex and my current situation, but it's hard. I just feel super bitter these days and it fucking sucks. Lifting, making music, and advancing my career keeps me up tho.
I really hope this doesn't come off as too whiney and beta. I'd love to have some perspective from others who have been in my situation. I am super open to suggestions and advice if any one has anything to offer. Thanks for reading guys. It was quite therapeutic writing this.
I am a long-time lurker and huge fan of this forum. I have learned a lot from reading awesome and insightful posts here.
I'll try to keep my story and problem brief and to the point.
Almost 2 years ago I got out of a 2 year relationship with a girl that really tore me a part (cheated on me while abroad in college and cheated right before we broke up). I was in-experienced and didn't really know what I was doing during this time. I had been with around 5 girls before her, but nothing as "strong" and long-term as this. After research from this forum and other outlets, I realized that a lot of her abuse was a result of me becoming complacent and lacking self-love.
Anyways the break-up was actually a really awesome thing at first. I started hitting the gym, eating right, meditating every morning and learned about game. Learning about game really gave me a lot of hope because I think a lot of my misery with women in the past was a result of not feeling like I had a lot of opportunity with women. So I dove into gaming which consisted of night game at first. When night gaming, I would usually ride solo to the club. I never had any success from night game and so I switched over to daygame and this only provided somewhere between 3-4 datess with no lays. This was over the course of 1 year or so. I hit both pretty hard. When night gaming I would go out 2 nights a week and when I started day gaming I was going out maybe 3 - 4 times a week. After a while I started strictly doing day game and I got pretty good in terms of approaching and having strong interactions. During this time I ended meeting a girl in my social circle who I would go on to bang for 2 months and as a result I really let my skills slip. This would lead to a 5 month period where I was no longer doing any sort of day gaming.
Lately, I have been pretty bummed out about letting my skills slip. In addition I have a lot of doubt given the way things are going with women and by this I mean women overall just being more into their social network world and their following there. I feel like just another thirsty guy trying to get her attention. Sometimes I feel like day game just isn't the best way to meet women(online isn't really an option because while I am not a bad looking guy, I have never had luck with online game). Also, I should mention that all of this has happened while I was living in one of the worst cities to game in the US(leaving out for anonymity), but the city is usually bashed pretty bad here.
On a more positive note, I recently got a job that would allow me to work remotely from anywhere in the US and possibly in South America. After some research on the forum I am interested in visiting Chicago/Austin/New York City/Nashville.
The only thing that concerns me is my lack of day game skill and feeling lonely when I get to these places. I lost a lot of friends because I invested so much time in my previous long-term relationship and after college a lot friends just drifted away. So, while I am super excited to be able to live wherever I want in the US, I am bummed about my poor social skills for meeting women and other like minded people to chill with. To top it all off, lately I have been coming really close to texting my ex. Recently my mind has been bombarding me with old memories and illusions that I can make things work again. To be clear, I know this is absolutely the worst thing I could do.
Personally, I think it just comes down to me trying to figure how I can stop being a little bitch about my ex and my current situation, but it's hard. I just feel super bitter these days and it fucking sucks. Lifting, making music, and advancing my career keeps me up tho.
I really hope this doesn't come off as too whiney and beta. I'd love to have some perspective from others who have been in my situation. I am super open to suggestions and advice if any one has anything to offer. Thanks for reading guys. It was quite therapeutic writing this.