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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-17-2016, 06:43 PM
Ok, normally I NEVER date or chase American girls. I live overseas most of the time and never had this problem before, this come out of no where. (I am temperately back in the states for work.)
This American girl is unlike any other, completely my type and sweet. We salsa dance together. But l have been feeling jealous when she is out with her guy friends. A bit angry when she doesn't reply right away. And I can't stop thinking of her. This is NOT me. I like this girl a lot and want to make a relationship out of it. But I don't even recognize myself right now.
What changed and how to get out of this rut back to normal?
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-17-2016, 07:07 PM
- How long are you staying in the US for? Consider that before you pour your emotions into a unicorn.
- Does she get jealous when you go out with other girls? Cover this basis and your problem should go away.
Make sure you bang other chicks during your stay to offset your worrying. It sounds to me like you're thinking of bringing this girl back home with you. Tease her about what bothers you, just don't show that you're devastated by this. If doesn't correct the situation she isn't long term material.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-17-2016, 09:32 PM
Grindhard, I am here for a year or so. But she has lived overseas and can't stand being in the states too. And by guy friends, I mean people at work. So maybe not so harmless. But I can't imagine shes not friends with all the guys at the salsa club she goes to by herself.
Good point Earle...I know your right....It's just hard to think of something else. I just don't understand what changed me all of a sudden. I never had this problem. Its like I am going backwards.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-17-2016, 11:23 PM
Hard to know why some women trigger a strong desire for ownership in males. I've known several women who absolutely wrecked a half a dozen men over a few years by luring them in with promises of fidelity, getting them hooked and then dumping them for someone else.
The mad part was that they weren't even that good looking. If you saw a picture of them you'd probably rate it at a 6 at most. The whole thing was borderline supernatural.
In any case, her spending time with men socially is a MASSIVE RED FLAG. Does she have female friends? Women have a keen sense for cock-sharks and will keep them out of their social circles at all costs because they literally make keeping an LTR an impossibility. If she prefers the company of men to women then you've answered your own question.
It may not even be worth tapping her until the well runs dry if she's working voodoo on your soul.
Run, Forest, RUN!
The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-18-2016, 03:16 AM
You need to drop this feelings shit asap. You'll start to seem needy and it shows when you're with her if she doesn't already know.
You need to take a step back and get control of your emotions. That could mean hanging out with your boys or seeing other girls.
I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words but other members can chime in. I've been in your spot before and it doesn't end well.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-18-2016, 05:47 PM
Try to meet other girls in the meantime of thinking about this one to be able to assess who she really is comparing her to her competition. Very often we see what we want to see by idealizing a person due to lack of the alternatives. That's our brain rationalizing our choice to keep us safe and sane.
This is what is happening to you right now most probably.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-18-2016, 09:07 PM
After reading and thinking a bit about it, I can say I am getting a much clearer picture. Now I think of it she did mention she was a rebel when she was younger, boys, parting, dating guys her father didn't like, boys, just boys. She said boys like 5 times...And then briefly mentioning the bad relationship with her dad. Also, at one point changing the subject about China, I live in China often, she randomly goes to cheating. She is sooo scared of getting into a relationship with guys because she can't trust anyone as they all cheat....All these things caught my attention, fast.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-19-2016, 04:17 AM
I´ve had the same problem recently, but got into relationship. She´s gone, good lesson
"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-19-2016, 04:33 PM
Sounds like you're falling for the girl because you can't actually have her. Pretty typical stuff.
Broken, flighty, untamed women are the kryptonite to every man. The ones who give you glimpses of things you love, then contrasting it with giving you feelings of dread, doubt, and jealousy. That contrast only amplifies the things you enjoy about them, which is further amplified by the fact they don't actually want your commitment causing you to chase and be needy - which in turn further draws them away and turns you into an emotional wreck. Not a man's most comfortable state.
Having gone down this road with a couple of women before - my best advice is to cut it off now for your own sake. Before you get in any deeper and wind up ultimately depressed when she dumps you/fades away.
Others have suggested chasing other tail on the side, but from my experience this doesn't work because she will always be on your mind and you'll be comparing every girl to her.
Judging from all the things you said - this is a typical story of a damaged girl sucking you in. They are great at it.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-19-2016, 07:43 PM
XXL, Linux, and General Stalin are saving me keystrokes.
Glad this is in the Newbie section. And you're self-aware enough to realize that this is *your* inner game/outlook/mentality problem.
Most guys would just blame the girl, and not look inward as to why they're feeling like they're feeling.
WIA
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-19-2016, 08:07 PM
I was in a very similair situation before, I ended up locking the girl down in an LTR. It cost me my pride, a lot of money and a few friends along the way. It took me over a year to get my head straight.
4 years down the line my jealousy turned to anger and we ended up calling it quits. A week later she was in a relationship with a work colleague she had been hanging out with in groups for the last year of our relationship (and was more than likely cheating on me with)
Follow the advice given in this thread, I wish I had been fortunate enough to have it back then.
“It is far better for a man to go wrong in freedom than to go right in chains.”
Thomas Henry Huxley
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-26-2016, 01:26 PM
Yup, thats exactly what was happening. Putting her on the pedestal. I still think of her time to time. But it is becoming far and few in between. Its a good thing we don't work together anymore....it would have been much harder to forget her. I am really busy with flying and work so that is good to have, staying busy.
I meet a cute asian girl at the department store. I didn't ask her out as it was really busy and a ton of people around. I know I know, that shouldn't stop me...but I am not quite at that level yet. So there is many more fish in the sea.
Point is, thanks for the positive comments. To be honest, I thought since this was the internet, I thought I was going to get flamed. But seeing things put into prospective is very helpful.
Thanks everyone!
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-27-2016, 06:36 AM
Quote: (06-17-2016 06:43 PM)pbnationrc Wrote:
We salsa ance together.
Strange nobody call this out. This is a HUGE red flag.
I've been involved in the salsa scene for a while and almost all regular salsa girls are salsluts, with cockteasing and drama game off the charts.
Save yourself the trouble and dont game girls in Latin dance for anything more than a ONS.
Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-27-2016, 08:51 PM
Salsluts ahaha I gotta remember that one
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-28-2016, 02:40 PM
Every day before you go to bed, imagine your new girl fucking another guy. Imagine her saying how much better he is than "X" at fucking. Get your imagination really fired up. Maybe she is getting gangbanged by ten guys.
Then fuck her.
Or don't, if you don't feel like it. Just tease her and mess with her head.
Tell her to call you Brad Pitt, Daddy, Satan, whatever. Smack her around a little if you're into that.
Done, you're not jealous anymore. If you are it will just serve to make your relationship interesting.
Edit: Patrice O'Neal said that you have to see it in real life but some people have pretty vivid imaginations. Pussy is pussy, and all has a price. Top shelf dick is priceless.
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-28-2016, 03:22 PM
Quote: (06-28-2016 02:40 PM)Hades Wrote:
Every day before you go to bed, imagine your new girl fucking another guy. Imagine her saying how much better he is than "X" at fucking. Get your imagination really fired up. Maybe she is getting gangbanged by ten guys.
Then fuck her.
Or don't, if you don't feel like it. Just tease her and mess with her head.
Tell her to call you Brad Pitt, Daddy, Satan, whatever. Smack her around a little if you're into that.
Done, you're not jealous anymore. If you are it will just serve to make your relationship interesting.
Edit: Patrice O'Neal said that you have to see it in real life but some people have pretty vivid imaginations. Pussy is pussy, and all has a price. Top shelf dick is priceless.
Damn, I don´t get it
"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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Insecurity, jealousy, etc... with new girl
06-28-2016, 09:09 PM
Quote: (06-19-2016 04:33 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
Sounds like you're falling for the girl because you can't actually have her. Pretty typical stuff.
Broken, flighty, untamed women are the kryptonite to every man. The ones who give you glimpses of things you love, then contrasting it with giving you feelings of dread, doubt, and jealousy. That contrast only amplifies the things you enjoy about them, which is further amplified by the fact they don't actually want your commitment causing you to chase and be needy - which in turn further draws them away and turns you into an emotional wreck. Not a man's most comfortable state.
Having gone down this road with a couple of women before - my best advice is to cut it off now for your own sake. Before you get in any deeper and wind up ultimately depressed when she dumps you/fades away.
Others have suggested chasing other tail on the side, but from my experience this doesn't work because she will always be on your mind and you'll be comparing every girl to her.
Judging from all the things you said - this is a typical story of a damaged girl sucking you in. They are great at it.
I'd love to hear an in-depth write up about these types of women
Civilize the mind but make savage the body.