[JWLZG]

So I wrote in the Approach Thread how I got indirectly approached last week.

Looking back, I realised that there have been at least 5 times in the recent past whereby it's happened to me. That is, beyond a comment on my looks/style with the intent to make conversation.

Now I think often times, when girls get indirectly approached, they know we're using that as an excuse to say something to them. They can tell that usually, we don't actually give a shit about their cardigan or there they bought that cool tote bag from.

What about when the tables are turned? When a chick opens you with something indirect, is she in fact interested in you, or is she singularly more interested in the topic which she had asked/commented about?

My instinct says, leverage that into building up attraction and gaming her from there, if you're into her. But I guess it would be plain sailing if she was into you indeed.

[Sidney Crosby]

I wrote something, then deleted it all because whatever I say, WIA will come in here and say it better.

[WestIndianArchie]

Lol @Sidney

I was gonna let this simmer.

Pimps assume any girl in close proximity is asking to be talked to. That's not a bad way to be a player.

So if a chick talks to you for ANY reason, take that as her attempt to pick you up.

And a more baby food version of that, is that you should take an active interest in people.

Now, we basically need more information on the context.

If you're at work, and someone from a different part of the company asks where the copy machine is, chances are low that it's an attempt to pick you up.

But if you're at a social environment or going about your day - assume that she could have asked anyone, but you stood out to her. And when a chick is bold enough to talk, that means you she isn't scared of you hurting her.

If it's directions, walk with her part of the way.
If it's for your opinion, ask her why she asking as you give her you answer.

That opens, then you can cold read, provoke, joke, story.

If you're at a bar, you can switch gears instantly.

Chica - Do you know...

- I was just about to chat you up
- Where did you come from
- Not bad
- immediate soul gaze, and step into her personal space

Etc

It's a good problem to have.

Useful fiction, they are all dying to get in your pants.

You need useful fictions to loosen up the tongue and get yourself to approach.

WIA

[_Samo_]

Had this happen to me a few times lately, where a girl asks to use my phone because theirs has no credit/no battery. Always happened on the street late at night. I have no idea how I would transition that into something more but seems like an opportunity.

[texas]

Haha Sidney that's some crazy prescience on your part. WIA, that's some gold. I think in another thread you had phrased an approach like the above as her "poking the lion."

I really like that "Chica - did you know...I was just about to chat you up" line and will definitely use that in the future, and wait for her physical/verbal response. Then say "Yeah, I noticed a minute ago you got something all over your face/shoulder/waist/whatever." so it's not one of those "you're so beautiful" deals, and then brush that little invention off to get some playful body language going on and escalate.

Personally, if a chick indirectly opens me I always assume interest and weave a little verbal dance before going for the number even if I know I won't call her. It's just batting practice.

EDIT: WIA, congrats on the website man. Will be browsing that all day.

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-06-2016 10:03 AM)texas Wrote:  

EDIT: WIA, congrats on the website man. Will be browsing that all day.

Gotta add a lot more content now.

Hopefully, it'll help me put together a book.

WIA

[DimeBait]

(06-06-2016 01:10 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(06-06-2016 10:03 AM)texas Wrote:  

EDIT: WIA, congrats on the website man. Will be browsing that all day.

Gotta add a lot more content now.

Hopefully, it'll help me put together a book.

WIA

Best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

I did quite bit of research on transitioning my blog to a book and there seemed to be a solid consensus that publishing your blog to an e-book is a great way generate reoccurring revenue.

[XXL]

(06-06-2016 07:53 AM)JWLZG Wrote:  

What about when the tables are turned? When a chick opens you with something indirect, is she in fact interested in you, or is she singularly more interested in the topic which she had asked/commented about?

It can be anything who really knows. Why not take the bait, let her speak and take it from there to see for yourself.

[XPQ22]

I agree that girls who indirectly approach you are worthwhile to start engaging with. If I'm standing at a mostly empty bar, and a girl walks up next to me, it's clearly not an unusual thought to wonder why she picked that spot, rather than any other of the empty stools down the line.

But keep in mind that girls love to play "Rapo", as coined by the book "Games People Play":

Quote:

1. First-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Kiss Off’, is popular at social gatherings and consists essentially of mild flirtation. White signals that she is available and gets her pleasure from the man’s pursuit. As soon as he has committed himself, the game is over. If she is polite, she may say quite frankly ‘I appreciate your compliments and thank you very much’, and move on to the next conquest. If she is less generous, she may simply leave him.

Girls do this in online game from time to time as well...I've had a fair number of girls open me directly on OKC, conversation goes well, but when you pitch the date they still say "Well, you know I'm really busy. I don't think I can make it work this week" or "I'm mostly here for new friends", leaving you thinking "What was the point of that?" Well, from her perspective there was a point - she gained validation from your interest and that was satisfactory.

On a few occasions I've had girls at bars/nightclubs go so far as "Second Degree Rapo":

Quote:

2. In Second-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Indignation’, White gets only secondary satisfaction from Black’s advances. Her primary gratification codes from rejecting him, so that this game is also colloquially known as ‘Buzz Off, Buster’. She leads Black into a much more serious commitment than the mild flirtation of First-Degree ‘Rapo’ and enjoys watching his discomfiture when she repulses him.

Girl proceeds the same way as in First Degree, but she seems more heavily interested, the flirting is heavier, there's touching/kino going on at the bar. She smiles and leaves after a moment, says she's going back to "her friends", and you think to yourself "Hmm, I might try to engage with her again later and isolate if I can."

You try that a bit later and when she rudely repulses you, you realize "Oh. By 'my friends' she meant 'my boyfriend/husband, who's lurking right over there.'"

I think a lot of guys don't realize just how desperately some young women crave validation. You could argue that all of it, even sex, is merely a sideshow to that agenda. So I guess in a sense the key is to somehow hold out on what she really wants, until you get what you really want. It's uncomfortable for me to put it in such transactional terms, but that's the overall impression I get, and I didn't arrange things this way.

[southern120]

(06-06-2016 06:47 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

I agree that girls who indirectly approach you are worthwhile to start engaging with. If I'm standing at a mostly empty bar, and a girl walks up next to me, it's clearly not an unusual thought to wonder why she picked that spot, rather than any other of the empty stools down the line.

But keep in mind that girls love to play "Rapo", as coined by the book "Games People Play":

Quote:

1. First-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Kiss Off’, is popular at social gatherings and consists essentially of mild flirtation. White signals that she is available and gets her pleasure from the man’s pursuit. As soon as he has committed himself, the game is over. If she is polite, she may say quite frankly ‘I appreciate your compliments and thank you very much’, and move on to the next conquest. If she is less generous, she may simply leave him.

Girls do this in online game from time to time as well...I've had a fair number of girls open me directly on OKC, conversation goes well, but when you pitch the date they still say "Well, you know I'm really busy. I don't think I can make it work this week" or "I'm mostly here for new friends", leaving you thinking "What was the point of that?" Well, from her perspective there was a point - she gained validation from your interest and that was satisfactory.
...

I see this a LOT. A younger version of myself would constantly ask 'she did that or said this, does that mean she likes me?????'. Allowing your desire for a girl to lead you to extrude a definite answer from patently inadequate information is foolhardy, as I am sure many here have learned the hard way. I certainly have.

Obviously we would all like to have a perfect filter to sort the attention / validation seekers from the cases of genuine interest. But in lieu of such a filter, I think that it is much better to assume that all approaches are time wasters until proven otherwise. This is because:

1. For the majority of us who aren't mega rich / famous etc and in the current toxic Western female environment, the time wasters will vastly outnumber the genuine IOIs.

2. Not jumping at the bait first off will to the genuine IOI come across as abundance mentality which as we all know can only benefit you. If as a universal default you remain polite, but cursory, you are not going to close any doors worth sticking your member through.