Quote: (05-29-2016 07:09 PM)EDantes Wrote:
Curious what the opinions of others are on dealing with sexual repression, especially for those who came from religious families or backgrounds.
As of now I don't have too much of a problem getting laid or making conversation with girls, but occasionally I have thoughts which bother me subconsciously.
E.X. People especially women who use sexual slurs or sex talk in public tend to annoy me (so I sometimes feel uncomfortable making dirty talk to women), women dressing immodestly in public tends to make me have irritating thoughts.
Even though they don't seem to have too much of an adverse effect on my game and as far as I know a woman never ditched me over it; it makes me sometimes feel self-conscious and worry that I look "metrosexual" or religiously sheltered, Any advice?
There are probably quite a few approaches that you can take to helping yourself to get over some of your mental reservations. I will mention a few that come immediately to mind, just to give you some ideas the way that I think about it.
1) try to change some of your language in how you speak to people, and throw in a few cuss words, here and there. If you are not used to throwing in cuss words, it is going to feel a bit awkward at first, but it will get easier, and then you can increase the environments in which you do it. You can also try it on the forum.. throw in a few fucks or whatever other curses, just to get used to it. Some folks put "f**k" or some other euphemism, but really try being a bit more direct and provocative.
2) Try meeting and talking with people more regarding these ideas. People who have different backgrounds from you. It can cause a reason to approach, but it can also cause you some reasons to bring up topics with folks in order to help you to work these matters out in your head and to expand your perspective. That could also help you to get laid by giving you some reasons to approach chicks and then to have subject matter to discuss.
3) There may be some environments that you could put yourself in, such as bars or strip clubs or something that kind of challenge your thinking and interaction, and maybe if you attempt to meet some folks that are not in your social circles, you may want to try getting invited to one of their parties or even find parties of folks who are not really in your social circles but to figure out ways to attend and then you can attempt interacting with these different kinds of folks.
4) I'm not really that much into grooming merely for the sake of others or the potential superficiality of it; however, you could try some experimental changes with the way you dress or grooming, and not necessarily a whole wardrobe but maybe start wearing glasses if you haven't or stop wearing glasses if you do.. grow a beard/mustache or shave your beard/mustache.. grown longer hair or cut your hair shorter. You could also buy some kinds of different clothing, especially if you have not mixed it up too much in the past.. in that sense, you are considering the affect of your presentation on yourself and not so much about what others think, even though such presentation changes has both effects.
It could take a while for you to employ these various methods, but we should also recognize that any kind of meaningful change in perspective or thinking about oneself and thinking about others takes time to incorporate into your life in a meaningful way, and possibly in the end, you may decide to revert back to your previous self, after you explored a bit, you may decide that some variation of what you had been doing or thinking in the beginning (before you started your experiment) was kind of the better fit and perspective for you rather than any change that you made or attempted to make.
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