[The_e_man]

Hello lads, have an interesting story for you.
I'll try to make this as concise and short and possible so here goes:
Met a girl last summer, she is my "10" in every way possible in terms of looks. She's gorgeous to the point where her phone will non-stop go off the hook from guys trying to hit her up and she'll ignore / be rude to most of them. She let me look through for my pleasure because a lot of the messages come from buddies of mine and other people I know so it's interesting to see.
She was still in a relationship when I met her. And up untill a few weeks ago, she was in this same realtionship for about 2 years. So though we flirted and whatnot, she would not even kiss me.
Anyways, she lives in a small town about 45 min drive out of my city (Edmonton, Alberta, Canada). She came down about two weeks ago to go out for her girlfriends birthday. She hits me up to tell me she'll be in the city and wants to see me. I show up at the bar her and her friends are at, I start talking to her, my one buddy starts chatting up her friend. All is well. Her and I start making out. I leave the bar early because I had a personal matter to attend to. My friend tells me she spent the rest of the night looking for me and asking where I went. A good sign. I then get a snapchat from her as she's leaving edmonton saying "I already miss you."
So the next day we are talking a bunch. She is saying she can't stop thinking about the night before and she misses me and whatnot. The next day after, she breaks up with her boyfriend of two years. She comes down to edmonton again a few days later for a double date. She brings one of her girlfriends down, I bring one of my boys. Again all is well and we are having a good time.
EXCEPT, I think I am now starting to fall for this girl. I'm feeling jealous, insecure, needy, just overall super beta. Haven't felt this way in a long time and it literally made my chest and stomach tighten up.
So after the double date, they drive back to their small town. She gives me the most passionate kiss goodbye and simply didnt want to let go of me. I can't admit I didn't feel the same way.
So now, I want to take her on an actual date one on one. And this was last thursday. So again, she drives down to Edmonton by herself this time (45 min drive) and I take her to a restaurant I used to work at. I got a picture of us taken at the restaurant that I can PM to members on the forum that I know/trust so they can see just how gorgeous this girl is. Legit motherfucking rocket. I actually really like this girl at this point. I don't even want to have sex with her. I want her to be my girlfriend. I didn't want to push for a bang or anything because I liked her well beyond just sexually. Anyways, after we eat I tell her we can go get some ice cream somewhere. There's an ice-cream spot near my apartment so I drive us there first just to give her a quick tour and kinda show off that I have my own place (this is an 18 year old small town girl so yeah). At my apartment, we start making out. My hands find themselves in certain places and before you know it our clothes are off and I'm inside of her. It was the most amazing sex ever. Kinky dirty rough amazing sex. We did everything to each other and I still think about it today.

So now here is where things get weird. I dropped her back off to her car (we didn't even end up getting the ice cream lol) because she's got school tomorrow and it was already like 9:30-10PM. That same night (it was a Thursday night) she sends me a snap chat of her in Edmonton. I was out and about at the bar with my one buddy so I snap her back asking if she has a friend for him and she says "no sorry haha." I'm like okay whatever. Then I see her at the bar with this chick and these two dudes! She comes and says hi to me and hugs me and whatnot and tells me they are leaving and I was just like "who are those guys?" I'll admit, I was level 10000 jealous/insecure/beta about this situation. Completely stifled me and ruined my night to the point where everyone could see the bitter look on my face.
Anyways, I haven't heard from her over the next few days. And when I reach out and talk to her, she's cold and distant with me. Total 180 change in her. I can pickup right away the vibes that she's going cold on me so I send this last-resort hail mary type text - I go all soft and send her a long message along the lines of: "I really enjoyed my time with you, I miss you a lot and hope to see you soon. But I know you also got out of a breakup recently so if you wanna do your thing for a bit I can give you some space and maybe we can talk sometime in the future"
She responds with: "I'm gonna do my thing. thanks"

Now, there's no way I can capture the essence of what happened over text and I'm admittedly not that good of a writer. But she was 10/10 into me and receptive to me and totally wanting me to turning straight into 0/10 or possible -1/10 interest in me. And this all seemed to happen after I banged her.

I have two scenarios in my head of what happened and I would like for your insight on this:

Scenario A: She was into me. Soon as I started actually catching feelings for her and getting all lovey-dovey and soft with her, she backed away because it turned her off. Or she could somehow pick up that I was becoming really into her and liking her which again turned her off. If this is the case, I have no idea how I'm going to get into a true relationship. A girl will only like me when I treat her like a whore and then run away as soon as I start liking her and actually treat her well?

Scenario B: She got over a breakup and used me, the player "badboy" for sex.

[Travesty]

You don't have the game or mentality to handle a girl like this. Also a girl that bangs a new guy with dirty kinky rough sex for the first time, then goes straight to a bar with two more guys the same night is a hoe in the making.

A woman has to tirelessly and repeatedly prove her devotion to you before you can start investing in her. She invested getting a free ice cream cone and sucking a dick, then you go all Emo Romeo on her. She is also a hot 18 year old. She has to see you as rock solid without her, someone she can look up to. She has a million options and tons of time.

Ghost on her for 3 weeks unless she texts warmly to hang out. Try one last time texting her then move on.

[Nascimento]

Sometimes you'll smash, and you'll have excellent chemistry afterwards, even if you made some mistakes along the way.

Other times you'll smash, and she might go cold all of a sudden, even if you were near flawless along the way.

Accept the unpredictable nature of the game.

But never do what you did.

Fight the jealousy and insecurity. It's natural to feel it at times, but you should certainly control how much you express it. Don't let it get the better of you.

And never employ a "hail mary" tactic. If you get to the point where you feel you need to do this you're probably stumbling on your emotions and you're better off working to meet the next girl that will potentially be better than her.

I think Scenario A makes more sense. There are plenty of girls out there worthy of having a good relationship with. Diamonds in the rough if you consider the numbers game, but it's there. I personally meet 1-2 of these girls a year.

You can show you're into her. You don't have to be some malevolent and unpredictable alpha. But, and this is a big BUT--never show her more affection than she does. Let her amp it up at her pace. Let her win it from you.

And give it to her in doses. Gradually. Not all at once.

Lastly, don't get down on yourself. Sounds like you smashed a sexy girl and upped your quality. Chin up. It may not seem like it right this moment, but a better girl is around the corner, as long as you're still out there.

[Valentine]

You fall for a girl before even banging her? I know she's hot but that's always going to fuck up your game.

It's not all-or-nothing, treat her like a whore or fall in love. You fell in love too fast. Jeez all she did was makeout with you and you were already head over heels.

Heartiste has a golden rule of 2/3s for this - give her back 2/3rds of whatever she gives you. You reciprocated double or triple the amount of interest she was showing you.

[The_e_man]

Gentlemen you are completely right. I fell way too fast for her simply because she was incredibly beautiful and she liked me back. I went head over heels and resorted back to my beta ways. The reason being? I simply don't have much experience with 9's and 10's. She is my 80th notch but I'd much rather settle with a count of 20 and have them all be 8 and up.

The messed up part is I knew this from the moment I started catching feelings. I knew I was more into her than she was into me. I think part of it was the fear of her having so many options and me having my "oppurtunity" to wife her up. I mean looking at her phone was crazy. The sheer amount of guys trying to get a hold of her and her just ignoring or rudely giving one word answers. It was astonishing. I caught a glimpse of the life of a young perfect 10. But alas I flew too close to the sun and got burned.

My game is nowhere near good enough to lock down a girl of that caliber. But I now know what my goals are. I'm no longer on team notch count. This is the event that has turned me over to team quality.

[Rushjones]

Hard next. With women never ask why. It sucks but that's reality. You're best bet is to move on, your experiences with different chicks will answer previous doubts/questions.

[spygoat]

Watch what they do, not what they say.

Also bro, she's 18, my last LTR was 19 (from cowtown area), young, hot, amazing sex, but just like any rollercoaster ride you know it ain't going to last long. Plus you said she's from outside Edmonton, 45 mins away she's gotta be a countryish girl....when those girls get away from daddy, and come to the city, we all know where they end up. In our bed's, calling us daddy haha. But seriously, if you get it in your head that the 18-24ish age bracket is fun to play with but stupid to wife up, life gets better, you expect them to be stupid, and really at the end of the day, they want you to use them. So fill that niche for them, the vast majority of guys 18-24, unless they are fellow rooshv forum brethren, will orbit the shit out of her in hopes to bang them. I saw this first hand, like fucking coyotes circling a deer carcass....In this day and age, women are loving attention from all corners of the intranet, Snapchat from this guy, fb msg from that guy, text blah blah blah, the less fucks you give, the more fucks you get.

[Vaun]

(05-04-2016 07:54 PM)The_e_man Wrote:  

My game is nowhere near good enough to lock down a girl of that caliber.

No, you imagine that because you are falling prey to a poor self image and low self esteem. You need to understand this and work to rectify it. Her quality doesn't even matter, there are millions better than her, and how you are acting would turn off a lazy eye'd 5.

The truth is, they need us, more than we need them. Even the prettier ones. They need a man to wife them up, support them financially, and provide the family they feel they are entitled too. Believe it or not, you are in her consideration set for that, despite how "gameless" you really think you are. At the end of the day, who cares what she thinks. Did you get what you want? Once you see her as one in sea of thousands, you can dump her with ease. You are losing focus of who you are, your lifes mission, your own plans and goals in life.

This is a learning moment for you, a time for growth and to build strength. Dont text her anymore, lay off completely. And then act like this with every girl. She does 70% of the texting, you do 30%. Let her chase you. If you turn your back now and she doesn't follow, thats good.