[Batmanishere]

Today, I went to this casual resturant with one of my friends just to grab a bite to eat after class. The waitress was giving out major iois ( playing with her hair, light kino, strong eye contact ). I generally assume those are just tip tactics and don't get hung up on them; specially, since i noticed a ring on her finger. She said she is from Spain, so after a bit more ramble, I asked if her fiance was in spain And then she responded " oh no, I bought this for myself to scare guys away while I work " while basically saying she is single. There was a bit more flirting afterwards but I didn't go for close just because i wasn't sure if it is a tip tactic or not and I didn't want to look like an idiot. Thinking back, I think the fact that she said she is wearing a fake ring was an invitation to ask her out. I dont think (15%) 7 dollars tip is worth lying about being single..lol..Thoughts?!

[John Michael Kane]

Just go for it next time you see her. No point wondering but not acting. If she's interested, then she'll give you her number.

[HankMoody]

A 15% tip isn't good. 20% is the industry standard. Chances are you blew yourself out by being cheap, if in fact she was flirting with you.

Also, you should have struck while the iron was hot.

[cascadecombo]

Where do you live? 15% had always been the standard for tipping. Only people who worked in the serving industry tend to over-tip on the regular simply because they have been there themselves.

As for OP, you should have had her meet you after her shift. Worst that coulda happened was she said no/is busy.

Also, tip culture is fucking stupid. Why do you pay more for terrible service.

[HankMoody]

(04-28-2016 07:32 AM)cascadecombo Wrote:  

Where do you live? 15% had always been the standard for tipping. Only people who worked in the serving industry tend to over-tip on the regular simply because they have been there themselves.

As for OP, you should have had her meet you after her shift. Worst that coulda happened was she said no/is busy.

Also, tip culture is fucking stupid. Why do you pay more for terrible service.

I'm in Philly - 20% is the standard. It's been the standard since I served while in law school. That's my bare minimum.

When she gets a 15% tip, she's probably like "what a stingy guy." I'm not saying you go beta and throw a wad of cash at her, but you always tip 20% - 25%, even if it's just an extra dollar or two based on principle. Tipping her $10 as opposed to $7 would have been the right move, in my opinion.

A significant base of my social circle are servers. They can absolutely be picked up at their job if you're good looking, but they loathe bad tippers. You don't know how many times I've heard "Your friend is cute, but he's a lousy tipper."

[BassPlayaYo]

I think the tip part of this encounter is irrelevant considering the circumstances. OP missed the opening and should have sprung for her number or offered his card if he had one, etc. Had he followed up, yeah a 20% tip would have been the thing to do.

[monster]

Waitresses are hard to date if you work a regular day job. They usually work nights and weekends when you're off and want to hang.

[General Stalin]

Pft. Tipping's for beta incel liberal non-lifters. TeamNoTip



For real though If it's a place you frequent and you end up seeing her again and she still seems flirty then go for it. The thing with the ring was an overt pass. She was either lying about her being married/engaged and was trying to get you to ask her out, or she was serious and let you in on the fact that her chump-ward was just that giving you the go ahead.

[Batmanishere]

Lol...guys. I'm not here to start a debate in regards to tipping, I don't think couple of dollars are going to make a difference when I take her out and give her even a bigger tip by the end of the night. I was only curious about the ring situation since I never really encountered it before. What would be the best way to close? And how long should I wait to go back without looking overly eager? I really liked her mannerisms, I don't want to screw it up.

[Rhyme or Reason]

I'm gonna play devils advocate here.

It can be hard to genuinely gauge a waitress's interest level for obvious reasons. That being said, it does sound like she was coming on strong.


Perhaps a little too strong.


I've found in some cases when some broad is laying it on super thick, it's disingenuous. It's an attention whoring tactic employed by more obtuse women. The ones that are better at it tend not to go overboard as this one seemed to. The waitress has an added incentive to behave this way. In most cases when a strange chick is just dying to give me her number or whatever, they are insta-flakes. I usually end up banging the ones that do show interest, but play it a little more coy. That's just been my experience that I wrote about below, though some others did not agree:

thread-49143.html

[PapayaTapper]

(04-28-2016 04:25 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

Just go for it next time you see her. No point wondering but not acting. If she's interested, then she'll give you her number.

^^^^This. Consideration and intent mean nothing without action

Guys often get hung up on what "she's" thinking/intending/signaling. If she's attractive and you want to ask for her number,,,do it. Let her decide what she wants to do (accept or reject)...don't decide for her an not ask.

[Rhyme or Reason]

^ Exactly. Here's some Roissy quotes to wash that down with:

"That woman was sexy…Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them."

"Maxim #68: The definition of Inner Game: Hit on every woman who stimulates your crotch. Make life uncomfortable for them, not yourself."

[Batmanishere]

Best way to close next time?

[Rhyme or Reason]

(04-28-2016 12:07 PM)Batmanishere Wrote:  

Best way to close next time?

See: Rest of the forum.

[PapayaTapper]

(04-28-2016 12:07 PM)Batmanishere Wrote:  

Best way to close next time?

Put your pee pee in her hooha

[debeguiled]

Guess it's too late to argue about tipping now.

[puckerman]

You may have blown with the bad tip. At the same time, if you tip too much, you look needy.

Go back with a friend and see if she remembers you.

[GlobalMan]

One of the great things about the rest of the world outside the USA and Canada is lack of tipping culture.

I understand it's necessary in the U.S. because the pay for waitstaff is ridiculously low, but I'd be thrilled if this custom disappeared tomorrow.

I don't care about the money, just include it with the bill, or pay the staff more and raise prices. Either is better than the tipping game.

[Batmanishere]

It seems like only couple people actually read the post. I am relatively sure that 3 dollars isn't going to make me look cheap considering I paid for both I and my friend's dinner. Obviously that would demonstrate that she isn't going to pay If I take her out...lol...can we focus on the actual question please.
How long you guys think I should wait before going back to close the deal?

[GlobalMan]

(04-28-2016 11:29 PM)Batmanishere Wrote:  

It seems like only couple people actually read the post.

Easy, Batman. Things went a little off track, sure, but it's a valid side track. Your OP isn't that compelling or complicated, the wandering of topic is normal. You didn't actually ask any question anyway, you told a story and simply said "Thoughts?". If you want better answers, ask better questions.

Quote:

can we focus on the actual question please.
How long you guys think I should wait before going back to close the deal?

You don't have to wait at all, you're over-thinking this whole thing. Go back and talk to her as soon as it's convenient. There's no rule.

There is, however, the likelihood that whatever fleeting interest she may have had is fading with each day and soon your face will be blended with the dozens of others she serves each day. It may already be too late. You won't know until you make your move.

[Batmanishere]

It probably wouldn't interest me this much if I had gotten a number or even a date ...lol but , thanks for the feeback. I think you're right, i barely remember her face at this point. The whole her coming clean about her ring caught me off guard, I'm not used to much honesty right away.

[Razor Beast]

You should've just asked her point blank for her number after she made the ring comment. Although I'm always skeptical of girls who are in a position where they can gain financially by flirting with you. It's possible she could've given you her number hoping for a nice tip when she had no intentions of ever talking to you after.

[Batmanishere]

Just an update:
I was still caught up about my mistake, so i decided to go back alone just to get out of my comfort zone and get it over with. I wasn't as well dressed as the other day, but I was like " fuck it, my amazing charisma will save the day" I sat on the bar and ordered food, and she came around a few times as she was attending other tables.she kept making loud sighing noses and played with her hair continuously but i was fixated on my phone like my life depended on it. I kept my cool and mostly didnt look her way and didn't approach which was probably retarded. At some point I looked at her and narrowed my eyes like I'm trying to remember something and still didn't say anything like a dumbass. Finally, after I was almost done with my food and was about to approach, she approached me and asked if I remembered her...lol... Ive must have made an impression, we caught up a little. I flirt with girls daily but she is just super charismatic. Then, she left back to her work. I was making all these excuses in my head " It is too crowded, she is busy, you're wearing a fucking polo shirt, you didn't have time to build up anything tonight...some dude on the forum said you tipped cheaply..." and then I was like fuck this cowardice. I shall not bend to the winds of fear. So ,I paid my bill and got up as she was attending some people, approached after she was done and got her number. I think perfection is overrated. I instantly felt relieved when I just blurted out the words prior to her response even. This was much more fun. Thanks to people who advised me not to wait.

[PapayaTapper]

(04-30-2016 12:42 AM)Batmanishere Wrote:  

Just an update:
I was still caught up about my mistake, so i decided to go back alone just to get out of my comfort zone and get it over with. I wasn't as well dressed as the other day, but I was like " fuck it, my amazing charisma will save the day" I sat on the bar and ordered food, and she came around a few times as she was attending other tables.she kept making loud sighing noses and played with her hair continuously but i was fixated on my phone like my life depended on it. I kept my cool and mostly didnt look her way and didn't approach which was probably retarded. At some point I looked at her and narrowed my eyes like I'm trying to remember something and still didn't say anything like a dumbass. Finally, after I was almost done with my food and was about to approach, she approached me and asked if I remembered her...lol... Ive must have made an impression, we caught up a little. I flirt with girls daily but she is just super charismatic. Then, she left back to her work. I was making all these excuses in my head " It is too crowded, she is busy, you're wearing a fucking polo shirt, you didn't have time to build up anything tonight...some dude on the forum said you tipped cheaply..." and then I was like fuck this cowardice. I shall not bend to the winds of fear. So ,I paid my bill and got up as she was attending some people, approached after she was done and got her number. I think perfection is overrated. I instantly felt relieved when I just blurted out the words prior to her response even. This was much more fun. Thanks to people who advised me not to wait.

Good job.

Now file that lesson away and build on it.

Trust your instincts

Take action

Rinse and repeat

[booshala]

I can understand the miasma that you were trying to see through. I own a restaurant and I see everyone from the juicy 20 year old Indonesian waitress to my old lady servers flirt with their male customers. Sometimes I hear them talking afterwards clowning guys saying "he was so creepy/sad/etc" and sometimes I hear them say, "Oh he's so cute/I want his number" blah blah blah... No rhyme or reason behind the different reactions - but then again - I feel the same way with the general female population and I don't really pay it any mind.

Good job, OP. As most of the posters said, best just to plow through and see how she reacts. Hope you're able to slam it.