[Excalibur]

I decided to post this in game instead of lifestyle since I am more concerned about how to find THAT GIRL.

I understand that marriage is not for everyone, especially in this forum. However I came from a very traditional family from a traditional Asian country. I think there are only 2 divorces out of 100 pair of my married relatives. I am sure things are changing, but these are just my personal experiences that gave me optimism and desire to get married.

I am 44 y/o going on 45 y/o in a few months. Even at 40 y/o I was pretty stoked about picking up girls, going to Vegas, same night lays etc.

Couple events that changed since. Around 42 y/o on a dating website I met a 33 y/o tall, smart sexy blonde with large boobs. She was funny, smart, and full of energy. I thought maybe she will be the one. But she was too crazy for me. The relationship did not last. Also of note, she was an anomaly. She liked Asians. Otherwise I rarely get any bites from hot white girls on dating sites.

Since then I dated a 28 y/o that I met at a professional mixer. She has an awesome personality, but she was very sexually awkward. Due to a skin condition, she always want the lights off when having sex, and she was not very confident in bed. I never enjoyed sex with her. Although I enjoyed her company. So that didn't work out.

Last year I also picked up a 29 y/o from day game. I was her booty call. She was pretty smart and rich. She wears $800 heels. But she was crazy too. I wasn't that attracted to her either. She gets drunk and rode my cock until I was sore as hell.

I also picked up a 25 y/o from the bookstore. I adored her, but she had to go back to her country. Also she doesn't do jack with her life. No job.

Anyhow. I suppose I do end up meeting some young attractive woman. But keep in mind this is over the span of 3 years. I do bang a few girls on the side that I meet online, but I am not that proud of those. So basically a good 4-6 months would go by before I meet a girl that I think has potential. And even the, they are far from ideal.

Speaking of life events. I developed a few health problems this year. I am only allowed to drink sparingly. My major joints may also need operation. So these events woke me up to sense my own mortality. Another reason that I want to get married and pass on my legacy. If I was in perfect health I may try to ride out couple of more years of single life.

So that's it. In a nut shell. The question is where do I go from here?

I look older now. I do get disqualified by some younger girls just upon approaching. I get the best girls from day game, but is very inconsistent. The < 35 y/o girls I get from online usually are not top caliber.

Should I, continue to day game? Of course.
Online is not that great even when I lie about my age. Definitely works to get your dick wet once in a while.

What do 40+ y/o guys do to meet younger women? My impression is older successful guys usually have a lot of subordinates who try to kiss up to them by setting him up with girls. Or they are very well connected and influential that they can throw house parties and have many young women showing up. Unfortunately I lack that kind of clout. Perhaps that's something that I should work on.

I have thrown parties before but it's only the girls that I already know that show up. I even spam girls online advertising the party, and some attractive girls responded. But only one showed up, and I did go out with her the week after. She wasn't that hot in person though.

I refuse to be negative, but as I approach 45 y/o I am a bit frightened. Suggestions?

[Suits]

Dupe.

[wi30]

You've got 2 decades on me, but I've only found girls worth dating through trying to get laid. Push for sex as often as you can, most girls are awful girlfriend material but you'll find a few diamonds in the rough. They may be less than five percent, but you have to grind through the damaged girls to find them. For younger girls, find your local college campus and read every post by Giovonny. His posts are exactly what you're looking for.

[262]

Dupe 2.

[Travesty]

If you are in America looking especially at cock riders past age 30 this could be:

Dupe 3

[johnbozzz]

I'm not so sure about the whole "cock rider" thing with girls who are in their 30's. So much of it really depends on upbringing. My cousin recently got married at age 31, and she's a pretty lovely, homey (not homely) and traditional woman from a traditional family. She wasn't a real feminist, careerist girl, but she definitely took time to "find herself" - volunteering, working as a shoe wear designer, etc. Look, you can tell a lot about a girl by the way she speak about her morals, values, what she wears, etc. A lot of women in their 30's are looking to get a guy and get fat after kids, but a lot of 20-somethings are equally disingenuous about what they want. I know some nice, Christian women who call their parents twice a day, got to work, then hang out with girlfriends each weekend. It totally depends on the woman. I'd assume that the best thing for you to do is make your intentions known within the first date - you want to get married, have kids, whatever. Generally, women over age 24 announce their intentions early.
How do I know this? I was dragged to four different weddings of family members this year, which really changed my perspective on things. I was stuck at some really fucking expensive weddings with over 70 guests at each event, and 2/3 were women. Sadly, for most women, it's about who's around at a given point, and, using female logic, most women are either too afraid to do online dating or admit that they are lonely.
But yeah, if you go onto Tinder or something, pump and dump.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

Any single woman in her late 20s or older is already too damaged for marriage. She has already ridden the carousel. If she's had long relationships, the failure was due at least to a considerable degree on her bad personality or poor judgement. Simply the fact that she's gone 15 years after puberty without having children causes deep seated emotional problems.

Your own experience demonstrates this pattern.

[johnbozzz]

(04-23-2016 12:29 PM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  

Any single woman in her late 20s or older is already too damaged for marriage. She has already ridden the carousel. If she's had long relationships, the failure was due at least to a considerable degree on her bad personality or poor judgement. Simply the fact that she's gone 15 years after puberty without having children causes deep seated emotional problems.

Your own experience demonstrates this pattern.

Depends on where you live, though. I live in Southern California and the cost of living is so steep that most girls will work longer hours just to afford an apartment. Most of the ones whom I grew up with are close to their parents and don't want to leave the city. A girl here at 32, unmarried, is the norm.

[Excalibur]

That was a good thread about marriage.

I am not debating the merit of marriage or whether there are a lot of "damaged" women out there.

I am posting this in game because my question is how do I find and date a sufficient quantity of good girls without wasting too much time especially with the challenge of being almost 45 y/o.

Maybe I should post this in the 40+ thread. Being 40+ comes with its own challenges. I think really successful 40+ guys are at the peak of their career, with power and influence. Those guys can definitely still have the picking of women through their network.

I do fine financially, like many of the 40+ y/o members here. And many of us do not get to be powerful and influential because we chose to have more free time and have better lifestyle. Which is great, but at the same time I feel like I am a 30 y/o with more money in the pocket, but less in the looks department. I stumbled upon the Leo DeCaprio thread. He can be 50 and still have his pick of the woman because of fame, power, and LOTs of $$$.

I basically meet women like other 20/30 y/o here. Online and cold approach. Except I don't hook as many girls. Also as mentioned before, the type of girls are just all over the place. I actually did go to a college campus last 2 weeks to approach girls. Got 2 # and 1 girl responded. But college juniors? 21 y/o? I cannot afford to waste time. By the time date these girls and they are ready for marriage I will be 50?

Any ideas?

Join a yoga class?
Throwing parties? How do you get quality girls to your party?
Going overseas? That has been discussed in another thread. It has it's pros and cons when you factoring having children. Can be messy.
Teach at a graduate school? I actually heard of guys do that. Kind of shady. But plenty of professor student couples.

[The Black Knight]

(04-23-2016 01:04 AM)Excalibur Wrote:  

Due to a skin condition, she always want the lights off when having sex, and she was not very confident in bed. I never enjoyed sex with her. Although I enjoyed her company. So that didn't work out.

Am I the only one that read that as: skin condition = being fat?

Quote:

What do 40+ y/o guys do to meet younger women?

Get passport. Leave US.

[262]

(04-24-2016 01:01 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

Quote:

What do 40+ y/o guys do to meet younger women?

Get passport. Leave US.

[robreke]

(04-23-2016 01:04 AM)Excalibur Wrote:  

I decided to post this in game instead of lifestyle since I am more concerned about how to find THAT GIRL.

I understand that marriage is not for everyone, especially in this forum. However I came from a very traditional family from a traditional Asian country. I think there are only 2 divorces out of 100 pair of my married relatives. I am sure things are changing, but these are just my personal experiences that gave me optimism and desire to get married.

I am 44 y/o going on 45 y/o in a few months. Even at 40 y/o I was pretty stoked about picking up girls, going to Vegas, same night lays etc.

Couple events that changed since. Around 42 y/o on a dating website I met a 33 y/o tall, smart sexy blonde with large boobs. She was funny, smart, and full of energy. I thought maybe she will be the one. But she was too crazy for me. The relationship did not last. Also of note, she was an anomaly. She liked Asians. Otherwise I rarely get any bites from hot white girls on dating sites.

Since then I dated a 28 y/o that I met at a professional mixer. She has an awesome personality, but she was very sexually awkward. Due to a skin condition, she always want the lights off when having sex, and she was not very confident in bed. I never enjoyed sex with her. Although I enjoyed her company. So that didn't work out.

Last year I also picked up a 29 y/o from day game. I was her booty call. She was pretty smart and rich. She wears $800 heels. But she was crazy too. I wasn't that attracted to her either. She gets drunk and rode my cock until I was sore as hell.

I also picked up a 25 y/o from the bookstore. I adored her, but she had to go back to her country. Also she doesn't do jack with her life. No job.

Anyhow. I suppose I do end up meeting some young attractive woman. But keep in mind this is over the span of 3 years. I do bang a few girls on the side that I meet online, but I am not that proud of those. So basically a good 4-6 months would go by before I meet a girl that I think has potential. And even the, they are far from ideal.

Speaking of life events. I developed a few health problems this year. I am only allowed to drink sparingly. My major joints may also need operation. So these events woke me up to sense my own mortality. Another reason that I want to get married and pass on my legacy. If I was in perfect health I may try to ride out couple of more years of single life.

So that's it. In a nut shell. The question is where do I go from here?

I look older now. I do get disqualified by some younger girls just upon approaching. I get the best girls from day game, but is very inconsistent. The < 35 y/o girls I get from online usually are not top caliber.

Should I, continue to day game? Of course.
Online is not that great even when I lie about my age. Definitely works to get your dick wet once in a while.

What do 40+ y/o guys do to meet younger women? My impression is older successful guys usually have a lot of subordinates who try to kiss up to them by setting him up with girls. Or they are very well connected and influential that they can throw house parties and have many young women showing up. Unfortunately I lack that kind of clout. Perhaps that's something that I should work on.

I have thrown parties before but it's only the girls that I already know that show up. I even spam girls online advertising the party, and some attractive girls responded. But only one showed up, and I did go out with her the week after. She wasn't that hot in person though.

I refuse to be negative, but as I approach 45 y/o I am a bit frightened. Suggestions?

Some tips as I'm in your age range:

1. Refine and improve your look and style. If you haven't found it yet or maximized your look, find what it is ( fitted casual business clothes/ blazers/ relaxed casual, etc)
2. Get in peak shape. Lift. It will boost your confidence. If you feel young and strong, you'll act likewise.
3. Read the "Older guy 40+" thread here. you'll find plenty of good stuff.
4. You're Asian. Do you like Asian women? There's a good number of older guys on the forum who have headed to Asian countries and done very well with younger women. Plan some "Asian day game jaunts" or pipeline some women before a trip and visit there. You could try other foreign countries also.
5. Find your day game niche. My sweet spot seems to be girls who have graduated college and are in the 24 - early 30s age range. I often get younger/college women's numbers also, but they're a bit of a tougher nut to crack when you're over 40. Keep approaching, log your results, figure out what works best and try to focus more on those types of women for your approaches and pickups.

[WestIndianArchie]

(04-23-2016 02:07 PM)Excalibur Wrote:  

Any ideas?

Join a yoga class?
Throwing parties? How do you get quality girls to your party?
Going overseas? That has been discussed in another thread. It has it's pros and cons when you factoring having children. Can be messy.
Teach at a graduate school? I actually heard of guys do that. Kind of shady. But plenty of professor student couples.

If you want younger girls and you don't look young yourself, 3 things are happening

1) You're holding yourself back based on what you see in the mirror.
2) She's filtering you out. Same way she filters out 18 year olds and short guys and bald guys, and whatever is not cool right now.
3) Your faith in how your overall behavior can change a female's behavior towards you is non-existent. It's not even that you're a game denialist, it's that you're not even aware of game and what it does.

There are some hard limits at 40, I'm 40 myself. One of them is the energy to go out, but more importantly is your lack of social circle.

So your options

1) Peter Pan - upend your life, buy a ticket, and go to a place where your age is not a hindrance, but a virtue. This will solve your pussy problem, but not your game problem.

2) Online Game - filter issue. You can of course somewhat get around that by brute force messaging something that screens chicks. Effort to reward issue is not bad.

3) Night game - Hard limits of energy and social limits

4) Day Game - Again, no problem with day game, the issue is with density and regularity. It does not have it compared to typical night game. If you are at the campus coffee shop, or run the poetry group...near campus - you've got a decent amount of exposure to chicks. It's doable, but it really fucks with your regular life.

The best way to incorporate day game is to change your routine. Shop @ the trendy food store so that you run into women all the time. Heading down to the Campus Quad and trying to spit game at chicks in Greek Letter Sweatshirts is only a good idea if you look like a college student.

5) Social Circle...is the answer. Building one, or taking one over, or enlarging your own.

You can join young groups.
You can join mixed aged groups.
You can create your own group.

None of these will be easy. Doing something physical when you're not in tiptop shape is the wrong move. Especially when younger guys can just show off their fitness while you struggle. So hell no on kickball.

Yoga is a bad idea as a student, but a great idea as a teacher.

Why?

Because when you're an older man, you have the benefit of knowledge and wisdom...but mostly power.

Older men that typically bag young chicks, fuck students, interns, employees - et cetera. There's a power relationship, and that raises your passive attraction. (like money, like suits, like muscles..)

So the hack here is to put yourself in a power position.

Part 1 - When it come to social circle game, this is creating your own group.

You can't fuck up your job, period. Keep money and pussy completely separated, at all times. Never lead with your money, never mention your money. Let that bitch assume you have it, but you're not trying to spend it on her. Don't take it too far, guys her own age have enough cheddar to pay for Starbucks.

Back to the program.

Could you be a mentor?
Could you run an industry mastermind?
Could you teach a class as an adjunct professor at the community college?

This is a bit of Tao of Steve, she has to see you being excellent. And she has to be under you.

Taking a class and trying to come at her as a peer, just won't get the job done like you think it will. If she's hot, everyone has the same option as you.

How can you develop a power position outside of your job?
One that women are looking towards?

For you Church guys, this is how you play that game. You create a group in the church, and run that. Might be taken a few crumbs off the pastor's plate, but it is what it is.

That's the main thing to solve in terms of getting access.

Part 2 - developing your actual game.

More importantly is developing your game.
- What to do
- What to say
- When to react, when to not react
- What signals is she sending.
- What are her motives

Once you see the signs, and know how to provoke/evoke things out of a girl, then you don't need the crutch of a social circle as much. You can mosey up to a chick, and bowl her over by pushing her buttons.

If you could push her buttons already, then cold approach/day game/happy hour game without drinking - would be easy as fuck. Women don't really change. If you flirt, she flirts back innocently not thinking it's gonna go anywhere, that's when you've got her. The compliance testing, the breaking rapport, her buying in...

You don't have the skillset for that at present.

So you need access to practice, but once you've gotten down the basics - access will be everywhere. Your personality and instincts develop to the point where you're the old guy at the bar that's hilarious as shit, and that will provoke other feelings.

WIA

[Dantes]

OP

Start reading through the 40 plus thread to see how are guys in your age range are are working through similar issues.

It would be helpful to report on your looks, style, travel expletive and game.

Daygame is generally the way to go but you need to develop think skin and persist through girls ruling you out based on age.

Ultimately I have concluded that you have to make things work in your home country and out the necessary effort and commitment into it if you want younger girls. However, your chances will greatly improve if you hit some of the countries discussed on this forum.

Having turned 40 recently, the biggest factor is energy level.

I look a bit younger as well, most girls guessing 35

Anecdotally, my friends seem to experience a significant decline in their success at about 45. Give strong consideration to more conducive locations abroad.

[The Black Knight]

(04-24-2016 12:43 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

Anecdotally, my friends seem to experience a significant decline in their success at about 45. Give strong consideration to more conducive locations abroad.

I'm a younger guy (late 20s/early 30s) and I've notice that it seems to be around mid 40's as well when a significant hit occurs; where unless you have fame/real power, you are fighting a real uphill battle.

Already knowing that, it's one of my biggest motivations to get outside the west/any place where heavy age discrimination occurs prior to then. Any place where I can't swing at (at a minimum), mid/late-20s chicks without a severe handicap, is not a place I want to live.