One tactic that helps with approach anxiety or social anxiety in general is to get yourself out of a solipsistic mindset; in other words stop imaging the world revolves around "you" or that everyone else is thinking about "you".
This mode of thinking seems to be a centerpiece in many disfunctional modes of thought, ranging from mild anxiety to actual mental disorders such as paranoia and high functioning autism.
It's helpful to first always remind yourself that everyone else is the center of "their own universe", and no one cares about you for better or for worse beyond the ways in which they are relative to your life.
People with approach anxiety often get into a mode of thinking that everyone is "watching them, judging them, waiting for them to fail".
However this really stems from unwarranted self importance, something which may be encouraged by today's era of social networking, where people are given free platforms to blog and rant about their personal lives with the illusion that anyone cares.
In reality the 'hot girl' could care less about you whether she's impressed by you or not; she's much more worried about what she's going to have for dinner, her work schedule, or what she's going to post on Instagram than she is whether or not you come across as a beta or an alpha. And any other douches at the bar looking to poke fun at you if you screw up aren't really concerned about "you" either, they're just bored and looking for someone at random to amuse them while they worry about their careers, their child support payments, or whatever else they have going on in their boring lives.
Starting with a mindset that you are a non-entity and that everyone else fixated on themselves rather than "you" makes for a great starting point for making any approaches, and is a mindset I believe will help in other areas of life; whether making friends, applying for jobs, or anything else.
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My view is that both the beta mindset and the asshole mindset are two sides of the same coin; the beta feels that everyone else is judging him as inferior from an imaginary position of authority, while the inconsiderate asshole feels that the entire world is made up of peons who exist solely to bask in his grace.
In truth though both come from a lack of mindfulness and being caught up so much in one's own little world that they fail to perceive what's actually going on and instead assume.
This mode of thinking seems to be a centerpiece in many disfunctional modes of thought, ranging from mild anxiety to actual mental disorders such as paranoia and high functioning autism.
It's helpful to first always remind yourself that everyone else is the center of "their own universe", and no one cares about you for better or for worse beyond the ways in which they are relative to your life.
People with approach anxiety often get into a mode of thinking that everyone is "watching them, judging them, waiting for them to fail".
However this really stems from unwarranted self importance, something which may be encouraged by today's era of social networking, where people are given free platforms to blog and rant about their personal lives with the illusion that anyone cares.
In reality the 'hot girl' could care less about you whether she's impressed by you or not; she's much more worried about what she's going to have for dinner, her work schedule, or what she's going to post on Instagram than she is whether or not you come across as a beta or an alpha. And any other douches at the bar looking to poke fun at you if you screw up aren't really concerned about "you" either, they're just bored and looking for someone at random to amuse them while they worry about their careers, their child support payments, or whatever else they have going on in their boring lives.
Starting with a mindset that you are a non-entity and that everyone else fixated on themselves rather than "you" makes for a great starting point for making any approaches, and is a mindset I believe will help in other areas of life; whether making friends, applying for jobs, or anything else.
---
My view is that both the beta mindset and the asshole mindset are two sides of the same coin; the beta feels that everyone else is judging him as inferior from an imaginary position of authority, while the inconsiderate asshole feels that the entire world is made up of peons who exist solely to bask in his grace.
In truth though both come from a lack of mindfulness and being caught up so much in one's own little world that they fail to perceive what's actually going on and instead assume.
