[OregonToSoCal]

I've done some forum searching and wasn't able to find any definitive guide or strategies on preventing this so here's my question. What techniques or strategies (if any) are you guys using to prevent a woman from shoe horning your date in between other commitments such as girls night out, birthday parties etc?

For me I never set first dates on weekend nights since it's too easy for these situations to occur. However my policy is more lax on second dates where the first went well and she's actively pursuing me. I generally figure that going out for drinks on a Friday or Saturday night is conducive to me getting a second date bang but I now have my doubts...

I had a second date last night that fit the exact scenario I just described but after about an hour she casually drops that she needs to leave soon to go to a girlfriend's birthday party. This is after we've been drinking wine, we're sitting next to each other on a couch and her leg is constantly pushing up against mine and we had already kissed. After she said that I smirked and said "this is a lot more fun you need to blow your friend off". She deflected and shortly thereafter she was off into the night.

Is there any way to casually find out up front what her evening schedule is before setting the date without sounding needy? The only thing I can think of is to adopt a hardline no weekend night date policy until after the bang has been secured. Too harsh?

[Jagnum]

(02-28-2016 12:38 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

I've done some forum searching and wasn't able to find any definitive guide or strategies on preventing this so here's my question. What techniques or strategies (if any) are you guys using to prevent a woman from shoe horning your date in between other commitments such as girls night out, birthday parties etc?

For me I never set first dates on weekend nights since it's too easy for these situations to occur. However my policy is more lax on second dates where the first went well and she's actively pursuing me. I generally figure that going out for drinks on a Friday or Saturday night is conducive to me getting a second date bang but I now have my doubts...

I had a second date last night that fit the exact scenario I just described but after about an hour she casually drops that she needs to leave soon to go to a girlfriend's birthday party. This is after we've been drinking wine, we're sitting next to each other on a couch and her leg is constantly pushing up against mine and we had already kissed. After she said that I smirked and said "this is a lot more fun you need to blow your friend off". She deflected and shortly thereafter she was off into the night.

Is there any way to casually find out up front what her evening schedule is before setting the date without sounding needy? The only thing I can think of is to adopt a hardline no weekend night date policy until after the bang has been secured. Too harsh?

I'm not sure how you ask girls to meet. Is it:

a) "We're meeting on Saturday. At XYZ wine bar. Wear heels...non-negotiable ;-)"

b) "Hey what's your schedule like this weekend? I know this spot with amazing wine."

If it's b) and she has a chance to tell you her schedule, perhaps she'd reply with details such as, "I have a birthday party on Saturday night, but I'm free Sunday."

Granted, it's possible in this case she told you she was free Saturday, and only made mention once on the date that she had to run off to a birthday party.

If this is a one-off, I don't see an issue waiting a day or two, hitting her up again, and setting up a third date for a weeknight.

I've encountered this problem once. I was abroad and I set up a day 2 with a girl I met at a nightclub. Later that week on the date, which was on a Friday, she told me she had to leave at 8 pm to meet a friend (we had met at 6 pm). It made for a tight schedule to try to get the bang, needless to say, I got all of her clothes off except her underwear .

Do you find this to be a recurring problem?

[PapayaTapper]

This happens or has happened to all of us. It can just be a case of her not being that into it. Because if she is really into it getting the bone then she'll blow off her friends B'day or whatever

Setting the meetup time later can prevent this. Pre-bang I rarely meet before 8-830. I've found that if a chick is willing to meet later when it's just drinks she's less likely to be trying to chump you out of a meal and is more DTF. Hasn't happened to me in years now

[OregonToSoCal]

Thanks guys. I think I went wrong by going for an earlier time and having it be on a weekend. I'll insist on shooting for later in the night and asking her what her schedule is like.

[OregonToSoCal]

Interesting update that happened a few hours ago. She texted me saying how she had fun and how 'I smelled yummy'. Enjoyed our kiss but wants to work on it again because she's a 'perfectionist'. I replied a couple hours later inviting her to my place for drinks. She says she's down and wil let me know what night works.

Not counting this one as a sure thing but it's a positive turn to how I thought things went last night.