[bewater]

Hey guys,

Yes, I bought the gym membership and I'll start Monday, this week I have some health issues I have to take care.

Last week I was a bit down, missing ex, health problems and arguments with family. But I was hurt the most by the (missing)feelings for the ex. Exactly as I expected, in the first few 2 weeks I was good, but later is starting to get a bit worse.

The thing is, I'm thinking of my mistakes and the jealousy/insecurity I had, which drove her away....many girls wouldn't put it up with my jealousy. After the first 6 months in relationship I didn't worked on myself at all, while she got a new job, new friends etc, started to dress better. She evolved and I was getting more and more beta. My insecurity was also fed by her flirtatious personality, always to be in the centre of attention, looking after other guys, etc.

I felt she was superior to me, become very jealous, I started to feel like shit every time we went out, like I was not being able to keep her mine and not cheating, like why wouldn't cheat to me, there are so many better guys than me. The shit hit the fan when she was drunk and on an a fight she said exactly that are so many better guys than me. She started to feel superior to me, lost respect for me, sex was less and less, attraction down, etc... That was my part of the mistakes...not feeling good enough for her, putting her on a pedestal, always be the one who says "I'm sorry" or making up after a fight, doesn't matter whose fault was......me beta bitch.

BUT, her fucked up personality and other stuff, like white lies, or lewd dancing with colleagues like she wanted to get fucked right there and so many other stuff, that it wouldn't work even if I was an alpha.

I still don't know why I miss her since there is no chance for me to get back to her...

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Anyway, too much talked about the ex. I just hope I won't be one of that guys on the internet saying after 3 months how much they miss the ex while she already fucked 3 guys and she's in a relationship with an asshole.

I have a bad week, but I'll get back on feet. Need to find a girl to boost my confidence again.

[Mr Finish]

I used to feel this way. When I was younger I would get sprung off girls and I can say with certainty there is nothing more unattractive to a woman than jealousy; it makes you someone you're not. It sounds like you need to date around, bang a few chicks, and be selfish as fuck the next few months. As my notch count grew, and I saw the true nature of women, I cared less and less, especially about losing them. A guy that's seen the sausage being made understands what he's getting into if he decides to get into a relationship (I believe LaidNYC said something to this effect). I hardly ever get jealous anymore because I see so many women as flawed; they're lucky to be with me. A girl I dropped recently called me "heartless", this isn't the case, I just have a criteria that she didn't meet.

[GeroMeroHero]

I was in a similar boat. Find what you are good at and leverage that.

In my case I am fairly glib in conversation so I simply worked on that. Got in arguments, luckily my school liked oral reports so I didn't need to take a class on speaking but I would have if necessary.

[The Reactionary Tree]

(02-08-2015 09:05 PM)TripleG Wrote:  

(02-07-2015 01:58 AM)The Reactionary Tree Wrote:  

So OP, are you lifting weights now?

Lifting weights/being in shape is just a small part of the alpha male equation. Honestly I wish that many of the countless hours I've spent in the gym over the past 18 years I could take some back and instead invest on other aspects of my life...for example, learning foreign languages, learning how to dance, traveling more extensively, and just studying game more intensively to overcome approach anxiety. Sure, gym made me become who I am, a top amateur tennis player, a guy who can bench and squat way more than his body-weight, and someone who can still pull a near 6 minute mile but I cannot say that it has really improved my game.

What has improved my game is going out more, changing my style, improving my hygiene, and most importantly approaching more.
There is an article from Googlookingloser about how he regrets spending so much of his peak years (20's) in the gym trying to have the bodybuilder look which caused him to become anti-social as he was never fully satisfied with his look (even though the guy is 6-2", 225 pounds). Too many guys make the mistake of thinking that looks via gym will overcome obstacles that prevent them from getting laid consistently.

In OP's case since he is still young I see the most important thing he can do now is go out as much as possible and no matter how hard it is try to approach. If he hits the gym 3x/week that is good enough, no need to go hard and try to builk up. Half the time the girls don't even notice it unless one is really jacked and wearing a shirt few sizes too small.
So, even saying "Hi" to good looking girls on the street and asking for directions is a good warm-up for more serious day-game. If that is too hard then I am sure he could find at least one friend to wing with for night-game.

The bottom line is that OP has already commented that he can get women 7.5+ to show interest in him or be his GF so that is a good starting point. Now, just try to find events in your area that attract a lot of women and start making "appearances" there. Meetup.com is a good site for that, I use it extensively.

Yea I have heard of lots of gym rats who are actually just practicing avoidance by being so obsessed with bodybuilding. There are lots of jacked dudes at the gym who look way better than a lot of us but they have way less experience with women because they are insecure, lack confidence in dealing with women, and are male hamstering a way to avoid them by spending so much time in the gym. I have heard about men like this.

However, in the case of the OP, he is not the bodybuilding gym rat. He sounds like he is lacking confidence in himself. Going to the gym, doing a 5x5 program (or something like it) to build both strength and muscle will not only improve how the guy looks in the mirror but also his inner game as well. I know this because I have had experience with it first hand. I got back into the gym last July and have been going every week since then. I have made tons of gains, received lots of compliments from people who dont see me that often (so they noticed the physical changes taking place), and I feel a lot better about myself.

Obviously you dont want to use the gym as an excuse to avoid dealing with women but it can be great tool in helping you improve your looks and confidence which are both necessary when dealing with women.

[bewater]

I have some not so good days lately, but it will be ok soon. I started to work on myself, but I have some confidence issues lately, especially since a mutual friend told me that the ex hooked up with her boss just after we break up....what a bitch. I suspected that for some time, I'm pretty sure something was going on before that. Normally I shouldn't care.

[bewater]

Last week was good. Thinking less and less about her. In a few months I'll get over her if I continue this way. Only talking with new girls plays a role in getting over her. If I would fuck a new girl for at least 2 weeks I won't give a fuck for sure.


I have about 2 weeks at the gym. First week I was sore as fuck. Second week was much better. I'm not hoping any gains yet. I know I will have hard time gaining muscles since I'm skinny fat, belly, and high estrogen level and bad sleep(i just can sleep more than 5 hours/night - 3hours, 3 hours awake + another 2 hours on the morning). Any tips to sleep better?

Hopefully in 6 months I won't be the smallest/skinniest guy in the gym. Makes me a little insecure but also motivates me.

[Mess O.]

Are you still training?

[bewater]

Hey guys,

I'm back. It passed a quite a long time since my last post...

I haven't been posting because unfortunately I missed my goal to fuck at least once after my breakup until 1st May and after that I got back to my parents' small town, on which I stayed until now. There was a financial reason for that, but now I'm back in the city.

Moreover, I got back to college, as a freshman(2nd college), mostly for girls. Since I work from home I don't socialize and it's hard to meet girls....in clubs..no luck, i'm just not made for night game.

I started the college few days ago and I realized how fucked up I am at socializing. I think I even have some kind of social anxiety. In the last 2 years, most of the new people I met were through other friends/gf while drinking. I did ok because I was both boozed and with my friends which made the situation so much easier. Now when I got to class my heart is racing, I speak softly that people don't understand....I'm fucking afraid even to talk because I wanted to look like a leader/authority figure since I'm much older than the kids.

But I can't believe how my body reacts, maybe because I had very high expectations from this, like I need to act, look and speak like a leader, like an older experienced guy, but this kinda pressure seems to fuck up everything.

It's something wrong with me. I've always been shy and introvert, but I thought I've overcame that. I did much better when I was a freshman on the first college.

However, I'm pretty sure once I start getting my social confidence back and start knowing the people a bit, it will be much better, but still....not socializing for some time has such a strange effect on you, or it's only me?

Anyway, I don't know how can I accomplish my plan of being seen as a leader if I'm such a mess, but I hope this will change, I have a 8 month dry spell, no dates only a few k closes which meant nothing,

[XPQ21]

I'm balding, had skin problems in the past (fortunately not so much anymore), and I'm not so much taller than you are.

I asked the woman I was in bed with the other day what attracted her to me. She was 8 years younger than I (I'm in my mid-30s) and she lives in an area where there are tons of dudes who probably look better, are taller, have better cars or careers or some permutation.

"Because you're interesting and seem like you have your shit together. All these other guys want to talk to me about is their indie band or what beer they're drinking or other lame stuff. You seem like you think about things on another level."

I'm more of an extrovert now, but I used to be very much a severe introvert and spent my time with my head buried in a book. If that sort of describes you as well, and you're able to overcome your social anxiety and then leverage what you've learned into a way to get women interested in you in a relaxed and humorous manner, you could go far.

There was an article about American girls by Roosh a while back where he said that two hours of good conversation with a "cool" guy will get them hopelessly wet, and it's pretty much true. They don't want to hear about fancy beers. They're waiting on what YOU have to say.

[The_Wonder]

I definitely agree about lifting. I'm short, between 5'6" and 5'7", but that gives me an advantage, I do not need to put on much muscle mass to look ripped. I wear 2" heel lifts (which still makes me below average). However, I know women would rather be with a 5'8" ripped guy than a 6'3" gangly fucker.

I wear tight t-shirts, and I can see women staring at my chest when walking down the street. I dress well, blazers, tight jeans etc.

Basically, concentrate on everything that can be changed, and your height becomes irrelevant. If you feel a woman is rejecting you based on your height, you can turn it round on her and call her out on it for being shallow and say it is her issue, not yours. Most women hate it when you tell them they're shallow.

[eradicator]

(10-01-2015 11:11 AM)bewater Wrote:  

not socializing for some time has such a strange effect on you, or it's only me?

Practice more. Have conversations with random people, not just girls. Get it in your head that it's perfectly natural to be saying "Hello" and having random conversations with people you don't know. You are setting some goals that are skipping steps, you are a wreck and trying to get laid, but you should be taking steps to stop being a wreck.

Quote:

Anyway, I don't know how can I accomplish my plan of being seen as a leader if I'm such a mess, but I hope this will change, I have a 8 month dry spell, no dates only a few k closes which meant nothing,

Not really sure why you are such a mess? College can be a fun time if you get your head together. If you are a basket case, it won't be much fun.

[Lacesoutray]

OP - just a word of advice, if I may.
You mentioned that your GF at the time tells you how much she likes tall guys....and she's with you...who's NOT tall...

She's taking a direct fucking shot at you.
And I assume you took it like a little bitch.

It's hindsight and all, but you should have drop kicked that cunt out the door the first time she said that.

She basically said "I prefer a guy different than you".

Please don't take that shit from anyone.

I'm a big boy....could stand to lose weight. If my woman ever said "I like thin guys". I would dropkick her ass out the door pronto, tonto.

[LA Savage]

I agree with the above stateme statement. If your girlfriend is telling you that she likes specific features in guys that you don't have then you need to downgrade her to fuck buddy immediately as you will soon find she's probably been cheating on you with a guy that has those features. She's already disrespected you once. Don't allow it to continue anymore especially with future girls. As for approaching girls on campus you need to gain a lot more experience as it seems you are over thinking too much. It sad that in this day and age many guys are afraid to go up to a girl and introduce himself. You will feel a lot better talking to random people and approaching girls after a while because experience builds confidence. There is no way around this. You can get all the advice in the world on how to get girls but until you go out there and practice then you can't progress foward.

[Lacesoutray]

I have some buddies who are just animals - they approach every girl, everywhere, no matter what...
supreme confidence...
That's just not me - I don't feel the need to talk to every dumb cunt at a bar...
but you should see them operate (I'm sure a lot of guys know, or are, guys like this)...

Fear of rejection is something you need to get over IMMEDIATELY...
if a girl is uninterested, or bored, or disinterested with you - FUCK...HER....
and move on...

Of course, don't be a boring twat...

[LA Savage]

I am one of those guys who are just an approaching animal. I see these bitches and think damn it's time to hunt and I get a massive adrenaline rush when doing so especially if the girl is very cute and I know guys are too scared to approach her directly and flirt.

If you're not getting Rejected on a regular basis then you aren't putting in work.

It's like if you're a footbal player who's jersey and helmet is always clean then your not getting any field time. If you're not getting any infield time then how are you going to get a touchdown. How are you going to understand and get experience playing thr game if you're on the sideline all the time. Do you want to be an MVP?

There are 2 types of people in life. Players who make great things happen and Spectators who watch others do great things . Which one are you?

[Schlep]

Believe in yourself buddy. Your a beast and it's you against the world. Swallow the red pill and never look back. Everyday for the rest of your life will be a struggle. It's called being an alpha fucking male. The world is yours. Now got up off your lazy ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

[bewater]

I read Bang again and got some confidence back.

I feel I need a couple of positive results to increase my confidence and to keep the momentum going. My confidence goes up and down, even though lately(last year), I couldn't get it to the level of 2 years or 3 years ago.

I started thinking what cause my confidence drop so much, not only because my ex. As strange as it sounds, it started when I found GoodLookingLoser(2 years ago) and started reading there. I don't think it's a coincidence. That forum/website made me think that you need to be tall and buffed to be good with women, and it's true on the most part, but that thing fucked me up + my ex.

Until than, I thought that if I approach and keep a good conversation i could bang hot chicks, I just needed to put that work to approach and be a better talker and it will be ok. All that PUA stuff like it doesn't matter too much how you look, gave me confidence. That's how I got my hot ex... I didn't thought that my look and height will stop me too much.

After reading on GLL how many failed with pua, that PUA is bullshit... and when I saw actual results(photos and videos) with girls getting banged by those guys on the forum, more than any PUA forum, I thought "That's the explanation". After that, I linked all that with the guys I know are banging a lot of girls...all of them, tall, good-looking, etc. This also enforced my new mindset. From there on, when I saw a taller, better looking guy, I though he is already better than me and I won't even try. All those simple routines and little games I used on girls and worked, I won't try them anymore because I thought that, if the girl likes you, it will like you without those.

You already know what this brought up:
1) insecurity
2) very low self-confidence
3) more shyness
4) jealousy
5) afraid to approach
6) thinking I'm less than the other guy

a lot of awful shit. I don't want to blame GLL for my issues, a lot of guys improved there, but it affected me negatively. Like it was a wake up too early on from a life in denial, but at least, i had more confidence and better results than now.....which is ironical, it should be otherwise.

I need to start approaching again, there is no other chance. I need a bang really fast to get my confidence back.

[yfc4]

OP, you can't seem to get away from this height issue. As several people have mentioned, it's really not something that is gonna stop you from getting laid. How many times have you approached a girl and they knocked you back for being too short? Also, have you still been consistently hitting the gym?

[Phoenix]

If every chick wanted to fuck a gorilla like GLL then we'd have a world full of gorillas like GLL. There are other factors. There is an evolutionary psychologist who is blacklisted from discussion here who can explain the other factors, do some research.

[lowhead360]

delete

[TheDuncan]

You are making a bunch of excuses, that is what is setting you back, when you meet or talk to a girl and you are worried about your height, your build or losing your hair and show doubts or lack of confidence you are trying to get validation from her, dont.

Work our because it makes you feel good and you will get healthier and look better, shave your head and grow a beard, develop a new style that YOU like, do what YOU want and what makes you feel good, bring that confidence in when you talk to a girl, why should SHE be worthy of hanging out with you? If she does not like you then move on, dont get bitter or show that you even care, keep cool and show her that you could give two shits, shes just another fish in the sea.

Dont be afraid to be a bit of an asshole either, dont take no shit from anyone (man or woman) and just be your own man, it takes time and patience, it wont come quick but the more you get comfortable the more it will be natural.

Figure out what kind of personality you are, whatever you are DO NOT BE BORING, I am the funny/ahole type, not everyone is that way, some are more serious, some are laid back and chill, but find your personality and run with it, if you dont know then just fake it, but do not be boring, get drunk, get high if you have to but no girl wants to be with some boring ass dude.

All in all just try not to give to much of a fuck, the more you go around banging chicks the more you will see how they are truly and the less you will give a fuck about them and in turn the more they will want you, just make sure that "not give a fuck" attitude is not coming from a place of bitterness, they will smell it a mile away, the only way to develop that confidence is through trial and error, experience and time.