[Cane Toad]

Here’s a topic that I have started to hear about more often…dating background checks.

My first thought was scammers

http://www.cupidscreen.com/faqs/
Scammers are now requesting their dates obtain a dating ID Check and are referring them to dodgy, non-existant background checking companies which are operated by the scammers themselves.

But then there are other services offering online dating background checks

https://www.criminalwatchdog.com/faq/dat...und-checks
About 1 in 5 Americans have a criminal record.

https://www.dateprotecther.com/dating-ba...-check.php
All of our services are offered 100% anonymous so the person you search won’t know or be made aware.

So has anyone come across this?

Have you been asked to provide personal details for the purpose of a background check?

There's no way I would give any personal info online. But hey, who knows what these services can dig up with just an email address and name.

[ShuaiGe]

Asking for a background check before going on a date is such a ridiculous idea it makes me believe that scammers really are specifically looking for those lacking in intelligence to take advantage of.

Here's a quote from an article about the Nigerian Prince Email scam.

Wikipedia Advance-Fee Scam Wrote:

One reason Nigeria may have been singled out is the apparently comical, almost ludicrous nature of the promise of West African riches from a Nigerian prince. According to Cormac Herley, a researcher for Microsoft, "By sending an email that repels all but the most gullible, the scammer gets the most promising marks to self-select.

[Dragan]

I've actually heard of career oriented women who think they're 10's doing this prior to dates. Legitimate background checks of dudes they're going on dates with.

[questor70]

You can do it yourself because it's ridiculously easy to dox people online. You only need the most minimal amount of information to start connecting the dots.

I extracted a ridiculous amount of info about the last woman I almost went out with, enough for me to give up the chase, all within a few minutes of browsing.

I really think knowledge is power. I don't want to go into a situation with a woman harboring some skeletons in her closet only to find out many dates in that there's a showstopper. Even if there isn't a showstopper it is a big advantage to know more about her than she thinks you know (hence my thumbnail from Groundhog Day, i.e. the french poetry schtick). You can know several points of connection ahead of time or embarassing details that she might lie about at first (proving she's untrustworthy).

[Brodiaga]

(01-14-2018 11:43 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

You can do it yourself because it's ridiculously easy to dox people online. You only need the most minimal amount of information to start connecting the dots.

I extracted a ridiculous amount of info about the last woman I almost went out with, enough for me to give up the chase, all within a few minutes of browsing.

I really think knowledge is power. I don't want to go into a situation with a woman harboring some skeletons in her closet only to find out many dates in that there's a showstopper. Even if there isn't a showstopper it is a big advantage to know more about her than she thinks you know (hence my thumbnail from Groundhog Day, i.e. the french poetry schtick). You can know several points of connection ahead of time or embarassing details that she might lie about at first (proving she's untrustworthy).

Can you give some specific examples? What did you find out about that girl that made you give up the chase? Did she have HIV, falsely accuse somebody of rape or murdered her ex? Other than that I can't think of anything that would be a show stopper if you just want to bang a random slut from tinder or something. A serious relationship is a different matter, of course.

Another question. You are saying it's ridiculously easy to "dox" people online. How do you find information about girls? Let's take Tinder as an example. If a girl connects her instagram profile you can find it. Sometimes you can also find her facebook, but not always. Many people these days don't use their real names on FB anyway. What else can you find?

[torridon747]

With name and phone # you can easily find facebook. Most people use FB to login to a bunch of other sites so that gives you their whole digital footprint. Sometimes that can yield a personal email or username and then this site https://www.usersearch.org will help you find the rest.

People put their whole lives online now. If a girl has a reddit acct that will give you some solid insight. Screening for crazy/dangerous is easy.

[godfather dust]

I don't even use my real name usually. I have been in the paper several times (not since about 2011-2012 or so) for various foolishness and I figure all that can wait til after a bang.

[questor70]

(01-14-2018 12:14 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

Can you give some specific examples?

In her case she had an old website up to promote her business with the same cell phone number listed as her contact info. At first I thought the picture of a woman on that site was her but I used reverse image search and it's a stock photo used all over the place. However, once I had her full name then it was easy to find her Facebook.

Once I found her Facebook I noticed her headshot was framed in such a way to avoid showing her facial mole. I got a slightly better look at her in one family photo she had online and there's an easy way to glean more info...

You see, Facebook security is only for yourself. You can hide your photos and hide your friends, but...if you have even just one public post, then any comments underneath it are going to be wide open. It's natural for family members to comment, and guess what? Family members tend to take family photos and so you wind up seeing the object of your background-check whether she likes it or not.

So your security on Facebook only really works when there's no way to discern your family members. Even if I couldn't follow that breadcrumb, the background check websites usually list next of kin for free, which you can then take back to Facebook anyway.

That's the whole thing about a social network. Since everyone's connected to everyone else, your online presence radiates out beyond your own reach into any group photo ever taken that has you in it.

One of the key things I found out about this woman is she has a much hotter and more successful sister. So I got this vibe that she's been buried in her sister's shadow and responded by being a slacker/stoner hanging out in California.



That is why she never had any kids. And it's why her typing skills suck, short-term memory sucks...just a general lack of understanding of dating etiquette.

And you know what happens when a woman who is clueless about online dating etiquette tries online dating? They come across as really bitchy. They don't want to consider the idea that they're just doin' it wrong. It's always the guy's fault or online dating in general sucks so let's just throw up our hands and walk away.

Life would be easy if you just got a match, did the online chat, bounced to text, did an icebreaker, and either you click or you don't. Instead you wind up with all these WTF moments with women who are nuts or just plain clueless. The background checks when you're on the verge of meeting give you a chance to avoid wasting a lot of time and stress.

But I'll tell ya, women really HATE it when guys are the ones that call off the first date. Then they pivot from "jump through these hoops prove to me you're worth my time and maybe I'll allow you to meet me" over to "how dare you back out"? Women don't seem to understand that interest is a two-way street.

[ShuaiGe]

(01-14-2018 08:02 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

(01-14-2018 12:14 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

Can you give some specific examples?

In her case she had an old website up to promote her business with the same cell phone number listed as her contact info. At first I thought the picture of a woman on that site was her but I used reverse image search and it's a stock photo used all over the place. However, once I had her full name then it was easy to find her Facebook.

Once I found her Facebook I noticed her headshot was framed in such a way to avoid showing her facial mole. I got a slightly better look at her in one family photo she had online and there's an easy way to glean more info...

You see, Facebook security is only for yourself. You can hide your photos and hide your friends, but...if you have even just one public post, then any comments underneath it are going to be wide open. It's natural for family members to comment, and guess what? Family members tend to take family photos and so you wind up seeing the object of your background-check whether she likes it or not.

So your security on Facebook only really works when there's no way to discern your family members. Even if I couldn't follow that breadcrumb, the background check websites usually list next of kin for free, which you can then take back to Facebook anyway.

That's the whole thing about a social network. Since everyone's connected to everyone else, your online presence radiates out beyond your own reach into any group photo ever taken that has you in it.

One of the key things I found out about this woman is she has a much hotter and more successful sister. So I got this vibe that she's been buried in her sister's shadow and responded by being a slacker/stoner hanging out in California.



That is why she never had any kids. And it's why her typing skills suck, short-term memory sucks...just a general lack of understanding of dating etiquette.

And you know what happens when a woman who is clueless about online dating etiquette tries online dating? They come across as really bitchy. They don't want to consider the idea that they're just doin' it wrong. It's always the guy's fault or online dating in general sucks so let's just throw up our hands and walk away.

Life would be easy if you just got a match, did the online chat, bounced to text, did an icebreaker, and either you click or you don't. Instead you wind up with all these WTF moments with women who are nuts or just plain clueless. The background checks when you're on the verge of meeting give you a chance to avoid wasting a lot of time and stress.

But I'll tell ya, women really HATE it when guys are the ones that call off the first date. Then they pivot from "jump through these hoops prove to me you're worth my time and maybe I'll allow you to meet me" over to "how dare you back out"? Women don't seem to understand that interest is a two-way street.

I understand the feeling of wanting to be sure that the girl you're going to meet up with isn't the size of a Goodyear blimp but are you sure you didn't take things a little far there?

[treypound]

(01-14-2018 12:51 AM)Dragan Wrote:  

I've actually heard of career oriented women who think they're 10's doing this prior to dates. Legitimate background checks of dudes they're going on dates with.

A couple summers ago I had a businesswoman tell me this on our 2nd date. She mentioned before she got serious with anyone (i.e fucked him) she did a full background check like he was applying for a government job.

[Cane Toad]

(01-16-2018 05:21 AM)treypound Wrote:  

A couple summers ago I had a businesswoman tell me this on our 2nd date. She mentioned before she got serious with anyone (i.e fucked him) she did a full background check like he was applying for a government job.

The last govt process I went through included full background (police, work etc) and also included drug screening. The drug screen included the usual stuff like pot, meth, cocaine etc, and also included other stuff like benzo's.

Now just say that this full-on background checking became a reciprocal process ie; the girl has to get screened too - I'm thinking the majority of dates are going to get pinged on benzo's (Valium, anti-anxiety, alcohol withdrawal etc).

Sort of funny in a way - I'm sure most women would quietly agree to forget about the background check. Well at least the part that involved screening for benzo's and the like.

[Putin Closes]

Instagram plus selfie / video chat prior to meeting up.

[eradicator]

Make sure she is not fat. If it’s from online, each of you should agree to send the other a selfie right away so you know the photos are real

[Jetset]

Tell her you require that she undergo a drug test, STD screening, and provide references from her last three sex partners. If she balks, tell her it's how you keep your insurance premiums down.

[treypound]

I don't know any guys who ask girls for a STD screening, but I know 2 girls who scare off men by asking for a recent one before sleeping with them.

[Dragan]

(01-16-2018 07:31 PM)treypound Wrote:  

I don't know any guys who ask girls for a STD screening, but I know 2 girls who scare off men by asking for a recent one before sleeping with them.

Trump also went on to describe how he made his potential sexual partners get screened for STDs with his own personal doctor.