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Changes in 'Quarter Life'
#1

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

No, I am not going to rant about a so-called 'quarter life crisis'.

I live in a European capital since 6 years. Now at the moment I just turned 25, I see my social reality changing. It did not happen spontaneously, but the first half of this year I was living in Spain as an exchange student and I had a lot of great nights going out while living in Spain.

Now, back in my city, most of my friends have reached an age on which they work and study more, leaving less time for going out. When my friends go out, their most important objective is to find a place where they really enjoy the music. A lot of people don't go out for girls but more to listen to music.

The time of living here as an undergraduate is gone. While I have friends here, and of course I still go out, they don't join me going out so easily as they did 3-4 years ago.

While 25 is a great age to be, a curse is that my friends this age are not doing many interesting things, or doing them on themselves. It is difficult to put my feeling into words. Moving cities and meet the right people seems as a solution.

I'm now doing a masters and looking into exchange programs, but on the other hand, after all those years I'm pretty tired of studying. University is cool, but if people refer to student life as their best part of life they seem to forget that it is mostly the first two years that are filled with craziness and in the later years it is more about the ability to find freedom, I think. Being a 5th year student is not so much fun.

Anyone recognize this feeling?
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#2

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

I'm turning 25 next month and I feel quite the same. I'm also finishing my masters this semester. I met some cool people during the collage years, but I don't think I would go to collage again if I could choose again.

People around this age tend to be looking for some comfort and stability. Girls are loooking for husbands, career etc. Most guys will lock some cute LTR girl. Going out with those people is difficult now. But I don't mind because clubbing for me is getting more tiring. Sometimes I just prefer to go sleep earlier, read a book and hit the gym next day. My thing now is solo daygame. I go out whenever I want and it's a huge blessing.

Another thing I noticed it's harder for me to connect with 18-20 year old chicks. Most of them are dumb as fuck and it's difficult to relate to them during this snapchat era. Of course you can find some cool chicks, but those are rare.
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#3

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Your experience directly matches mine, except i'm grateful my shit show days of undergrad are over.

The hilarious part is, college and its experiences really provided no value beyond getting my crotch into some chicks. Before college, I was pretty well rounded guy. I had some good habits in place, ate healthy, and had a healthy outlook on relationships.

Once I entered college, that all went up in the air. All of my good habits got dropped, all I wanted to do was smash pussy, and my good financial habits went up in the air. Needless to say, I stuck through a useless major because it was easy when I could have done a major I was interested in but would have been a lot harder.

I ended up dating a bonefide whore who was a vampire and sucked the emotional life out of me. My ability to pair bond with a woman has been ruined ever since.

I've basically spent the better part of 4 years cleaning my life up and undoing all of the BS I picked up from college. For the most part, i'm 95% there. Learned some investing lessons early on, started saving, hit the gym, stuff life that. I can now have healthy stable relationships again which is good. I was worried the baggage would do me in for good.

The sooner you get out of that "undergrad" lifestyle and back into mature adult mode the sooner you'll be happy. It's almost if a part of me is forcing me to elevate myself away from that senseless hedonism to something more solid. I can't for the life of me do what I did as a guy in his early 20s anymore. People look at me weird. Not to mention those people who never seem to grow out of a nonstop party tend to be lower class anyway.

Save yourself the trouble and avoid going for a masters degree unless you can do it for free. I know things are different in europe, but most people I know who are in graduate programs are doing it to delay real life. They're good test takers, but they don't have any other real skills. I savor this because they're unemployable while me the average test taker now has a good job and make real money. These folks are normally elitist pricks anyway and had it coming to them.

It sounds like you need a job or something to start you off on the right path. What do you want to achieve?
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#4

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

For example this old post by monster:

Quote:Quote:

If I didn't have to worry about $$$ I'd stay in college forever!

Makes me think, yea sure, first year is fun, but after that schoolwork gets tiring. There is always an assignment to hand in and after a while that gets so in the way of everything -reading good books, girls- etc.

And TheBeast -about your last question: I come back on that later!
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#5

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Definitely can relate. I turn 26 this year and have watched groups of friends that I thought I'd be cool with forever start to fade out.

The 50 hour work week is the main culprit I think. People get jobs, the demands of the real world set in, and you watch your friends settle down one by one.

I went through a bit of a quarter life crises when I turned 25. Recognized the hamster wheel my life had become and the role I played as a cog in a machine.

My corporate gig was paying the bills but it gave me no fulfillment in life and I saw it as a nuisance that was making it difficult to keep friendships alive.

I took the one thing I always thought I was decent at, writing, and started doing that more. That has provided me with much more fulfillment than any corporate job has. I gave up trying to beat the traffic everyday and instead did productive things like workout, go to the coffee shop to write, or day game at a nearby mall while the traffic dies down. I picked one day out of every other week where I would try to schedule a happy hour with a friend or two.

Those are all things that helped some of the woes that I think hit us when we reach the quarter century mark. College is over and now it's time to make your mark in the world.
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#6

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

I'm turning 25 this month. I've noticed a split between all my buddies the same age over the past couple of years. Half of them grew up and the other half didn't. The ones that grew up have already started their careers, have live in girlfriends they will probably marry, some own a house, and they don't go out much. The other half are stuck with Peter Pan syndrome and sort of drifting through life. Some dropped out of college to drink and play video games, most of these guys still live with their parents and work shit jobs.

I was sort of in the middle until recently. I'm a year out of college and tried a couple career paths that weren't for me. I only recently quit drinking and started getting my finances in order. I'm applying to jobs in the industry I want to work in. My priorities have shifted from going out all the time to going to bed at 9 pm and reading a good book. I get up early every morning and hit the gym. I've outgrown the bar scene and would rather go someplace to chill and play pool instead of a loud club.

I felt a huge disconnect in the last year of trying to save my college days. I was trying to go out and drink all the time like I was 21 when I was 23 and 24. I know it's only a couple years, but part of me knew I no longer fit in with that scene. I knew what my long term goals were, but my short term actions directly contradicted them.

I've felt much more congruent now that my short term actions match my long term goals. I know what needs to be done everyday. Priorities change as you get older. Nothing wrong with that.
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#7

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

I'm also turning 25 this year, and I would definitely stay in university for the next 5 years if money wasn't a factor. Sleeping in every day of the week (Scheduling all classes for the afternoon), so much free time to do gym, reading, partying between study, being in an environment where you are guaranteed to meet girls, months of breaks where you can travel...nothing beats the university lifestyle. Degrees aren't as expensive for Australian citizens as in the US- between 5-9 grand a year depending on what you study, and that just goes on your government debt which doesn't have to be paid off until you're earning over $53,000 a year so it's not as financially crippling and risky either. Plus we get paid benefits to be studying. Money has also never been a big motivator for me. As long as I have enough to do the things I enjoy in life, I don't need the million dollar mansion or the $100,000 sports car.

However, approaching the quarter century I'm conflicted because like you, a few of my friends are starting to get their shit together. One has moved out with his girlfriend, and they will likely own 4 properties collectively in a few years time because of his girlfriends family connections. Another is well on the way to owning a successful business and is obsessed with being rich. Neither of these friends go out anymore, but I find myself more motivated to live a modest but comfortable college lifestyle for the rest of my 20's than to make serous money. On the other hand, maybe I just need to exit my comfort zone and once I get a taste of some real money, I'll find that motivation. Some may call me immature for contemplating whether I want to grow up and enter the real world at 25, but I live by the motto that the only definition of success is living each and every day of your life in the way that you want to live it.

Besides, what am going to do? Don't want a girlfriend/wife, don't want kids, Definitely don't want to work a 9-5 job. At this stage, I'm only living for myself and what makes me happy. Some people may disagree with me but you should do the same OP. Forget what your friends are doing or how "mature" they're becoming and forget about conforming to what society expects of you. If you're actually getting tired of studying, try something new. Get a job or start a business of some kind and see how you like that lifestyle. If you still enjoy university deep down, then stick with that. Go on another exchange program and party with hot college aged girls. We're only 25. There is plenty of time to "grow up" in the future (or not), depending on what you want out of life
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#8

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (01-12-2016 10:19 AM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

I'm also turning 25 this year, and I would definitely stay in university for the next 5 years if money wasn't a factor. Sleeping in every day of the week (Scheduling all classes for the afternoon), so much free time to do gym, reading, partying between study, being in an environment where you are guaranteed to meet girls, months of breaks where you can travel...nothing beats the university lifestyle. Degrees aren't as expensive for Australian citizens as in the US- between 5-9 grand a year depending on what you study, and that just goes on your government debt which doesn't have to be paid off until you're earning over $53,000 a year so it's not as financially crippling and risky either. Plus we get paid benefits to be studying. Money has also never been a big motivator for me. As long as I have enough to do the things I enjoy in life, I don't need the million dollar mansion or the $100,000 sports car.

However, approaching the quarter century I'm conflicted because like you, a few of my friends are starting to get their shit together. One has moved out with his girlfriend, and they will likely own 4 properties collectively in a few years time because of his girlfriends family connections. Another is well on the way to owning a successful business and is obsessed with being rich. Neither of these friends go out anymore, but I find myself more motivated to live a modest but comfortable college lifestyle for the rest of my 20's than to make serous money. On the other hand, maybe I just need to exit my comfort zone and once I get a taste of some real money, I'll find that motivation. Some may call me immature for contemplating whether I want to grow up and enter the real world at 25, but I live by the motto that the only definition of success is living each and every day of your life in the way that you want to live it.

Besides, what am going to do? Don't want a girlfriend/wife, don't want kids, Definitely don't want to work a 9-5 job. At this stage, I'm only living for myself and what makes me happy. Some people may disagree with me but you should do the same OP. Forget what your friends are doing or how "mature" they're becoming and forget about conforming to what society expects of you. If you're actually getting tired of studying, try something new. Get a job or start a business of some kind and see how you like that lifestyle. If you still enjoy university deep down, then stick with that. Go on another exchange program and party with hot college aged girls. We're only 25. There is plenty of time to "grow up" in the future (or not), depending on what you want out of life

Have you changed your mind since this topic of you? Or does the good come with the bad?

Edit: I see that you don't want to study because of the costs, but I don't see you rating Australian university life very highly (I know I am in Europe, though).
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#9

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Wait until you guys get older. Friends will get married, have kids and you don't talk to them as much. When you do talk to them, the whole conversation revolves around their kids. Most don't have anything interesting going on.
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#10

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

I am 32, and you younger guys are in the same spot I was at 25. Now, there are good news and bad news.

The bad news: it will get worse. Most people you met at college are acquaintances, not friends. Some will become your professional competition, most you will never see again. 70% or more will be married by 29, most will end up at a corporate job, some will be happy, most will be corporate drones. Both men and women will become fatter and flaccid, specially women. Your social circle will reduce, perhaps to your childhood friends only. Instead of going out twice per week, it will be twice per month.

The good news: you can work right now not to end like most fellas out there. From 25 up to 30, I went from one corporate job to another, making average money, with no satisfaction, lost. BUT, as you finally mature as a man, usually around 28-32, you have the chance to make the foundations for the next 30+ years of your life.

I finally found my balls, saved for a year, quit my corporate job, read all books I could, became red pill, accepted myself and found my skills which could be monetized online, and went to therapy to deal with unfinished business from childhood. Result: I have been an independent freelancer for 8 months, able to -moderately- support myself via online income, and I expect that by the year 1.5, I will earn enough to travel to certain countries, earn money online, and hopefully game foreign girls with the same level as in my country. And I will be 33 by then, easily looking 28.

Advice from a fella that was in the same place as you:

- Hit the gym. You will se results on a couple years if you are a plumpy corporate drone, but results will last until your 60s.

- Read ALL Heartiste posts, ALL Rollo Tomassi's posts and ALL of Roosh posts pre-2014. Most knowledge here than in a degree.

- FORGET about the corporate rat race. It will buy you a decade at best, unless you are a genius in office politics, the son of a ceo, a psychopath, or very well connected. You will be laid off around 38-42, replaced by software, outsourcing or younger guys working for cheap. Many guys at my last company were laid off at that age, with no plan at all for their life. Trust me, it will happen.

- LEARN to provide value to someone, solve a problem, create savings, generate efficiency. Credentialization buys you some time, at dubious return.

- SAVE enough for one year of expenses in a civilized country (Poland, Colombia, Turkey, Thailand, Mexico). Actually, you should have two funds: the Fuck You Fund, and your living expenses fund. Depending on your place of origin, it can be as little as 15k, or as much as 50k.

- Become FRUGAL and SPARTAN. Don't go to clubs, buy a new car, furniture, clothing, etc. The more you buy, the more you became soulless, like your ex-colleagues.

- Find out what you know to do which can be monetized online. It won't be easy, nor fast, folks. Between therapy, self-knowledge, valor and savings, it took me three years to take the leap.

- Learn game in your country. If you cannot fuck a 6-7 in your country, you will not fuck it anywhere else.
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#11

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (01-12-2016 10:19 AM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

I'm also turning 25 this year, and I would definitely stay in university for the next 5 years if money wasn't a factor. Sleeping in every day of the week (Scheduling all classes for the afternoon), so much free time to do gym, reading, partying between study, being in an environment where you are guaranteed to meet girls, months of breaks where you can travel...nothing beats the university lifestyle. Degrees aren't as expensive for Australian citizens as in the US- between 5-9 grand a year depending on what you study, and that just goes on your government debt which doesn't have to be paid off until you're earning over $53,000 a year so it's not as financially crippling and risky either. Plus we get paid benefits to be studying. Money has also never been a big motivator for me. As long as I have enough to do the things I enjoy in life, I don't need the million dollar mansion or the $100,000 sports car.

However, approaching the quarter century I'm conflicted because like you, a few of my friends are starting to get their shit together. One has moved out with his girlfriend, and they will likely own 4 properties collectively in a few years time because of his girlfriends family connections. Another is well on the way to owning a successful business and is obsessed with being rich. Neither of these friends go out anymore, but I find myself more motivated to live a modest but comfortable college lifestyle for the rest of my 20's than to make serous money. On the other hand, maybe I just need to exit my comfort zone and once I get a taste of some real money, I'll find that motivation. Some may call me immature for contemplating whether I want to grow up and enter the real world at 25, but I live by the motto that the only definition of success is living each and every day of your life in the way that you want to live it.

Besides, what am going to do? Don't want a girlfriend/wife, don't want kids, Definitely don't want to work a 9-5 job. At this stage, I'm only living for myself and what makes me happy. Some people may disagree with me but you should do the same OP. Forget what your friends are doing or how "mature" they're becoming and forget about conforming to what society expects of you. If you're actually getting tired of studying, try something new. Get a job or start a business of some kind and see how you like that lifestyle. If you still enjoy university deep down, then stick with that. Go on another exchange program and party with hot college aged girls. We're only 25. There is plenty of time to "grow up" in the future (or not), depending on what you want out of life

You're running yourself straight into a below average life full of issues.

20's are not here to fuck yourself up. It's to set yourself up for life. If you're smart, you can have it both ways. I'm still in my 20's, have a real life and still bang young girls.

It looks like you're going to be one of those guys at the local bar who will tell his tales of how much pussy he got when he was in his 20's. Being broke in your 20's is not so bad. But wait another 5 years and see which kind of girls want to bang a broke 30yo.
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#12

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (01-12-2016 07:39 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

Save yourself the trouble and avoid going for a masters degree unless you can do it for free. I know things are different in europe, but most people I know who are in graduate programs are doing it to delay real life. They're good test takers, but they don't have any other real skills. I savor this because they're unemployable while me the average test taker now has a good job and make real money. These folks are normally elitist pricks anyway and had it coming to them.

It sounds like you need a job or something to start you off on the right path. What do you want to achieve?

In the end I want to end up in a buy side / management role that already exists in my extended family. I need a sell side role for a year or 2 or 3 (already have a prestigious sell side internship, and felt good to work there) which I should be able to get after I finish my current masters. I can start with the Sell side role within 10 months or later if I want. Also started an online business that made its first money (not $1000 yet, but still..). The question is not so much what I will do, but when, but also balanced to whether I sit in the office too early in life or not. Because I have the feeling that free time when young is worth more than free time when older.

I see Adrenaline his point, and at least one extra semester of exchange is maybe always a good idea. Pursuing student life in my own city maybe isn't anymore, and life here should maybe be devoted entirely to a career, just because pursuing student life here doesnt seem to work for me anymore. It seems to work in another country and maybe especially when I'm learning Spanish while partying like I did in Spain.
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#13

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Lime- Yep, got to weigh up the costs and take the good with the bad. There is no doubt that Australian university life has its flaws, mainly the lack of US style campus living, but that can be countered with game. If you can approach girls, the options are still endless, and as I mentioned the free time you have available to improve yourself/gym/party/game/work on an online business, sleep proper hours for good health, along with the numerous breaks to travel, and getting paid to study still make it an unbeatable lifestyle if you can live within means. There's nothing stopping you from working a part-time job you enjoy while studying and earning some extra cash on top of the government allowance. I also have a teaching degree so can earn good cash (^$300 per day) relief teaching on days I don't have class. I haven't 100% decided whether I'm going to go back to the university lifestyle yet for a change of careers, but it's a much more advertising option than finding that full time teaching job I really don't want and slaving away to the man at such a young age.

Quote: (01-12-2016 12:44 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

Wait until you guys get older. Friends will get married, have kids and you don't talk to them as much. When you do talk to them, the whole conversation revolves around their kids. Most don't have anything interesting going on.

This is exactly what I want to avoid becoming and in reference to trainwreck's comment, I would rather be the guy at the bar telling stories about much fun I had in my 20's (and will continue to have into my 30's and 40's) than talking about how my bratty kid just got suspended from school, how much weight my wife has gained, or complaining about a mortgage. I already have some decent savings, so I don't see what the rush is to make stacks of cash IF you're not interested in an extravagant lifestyle in the west later on. Moving to somewhere less expensive is always an option if you want to live like a king for peanuts. Money comes and goes. Life is all about experiences to me.
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#14

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (01-12-2016 08:18 PM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

Lime- Yep, got to weigh up the costs and take the good with the bad. There is no doubt that Australian university life has its flaws, mainly the lack of US style campus living, but that can be countered with game. If you can approach girls, the options are still endless, and as I mentioned the free time you have available to improve yourself/gym/party/game/work on an online business, sleep proper hours for good health, along with the numerous breaks to travel, and getting paid to study still make it an unbeatable lifestyle if you can live within means. There's nothing stopping you from working a part-time job you enjoy while studying and earning some extra cash on top of the government allowance. I also have a teaching degree so can earn good cash (^$300 per day) relief teaching on days I don't have class. I haven't 100% decided whether I'm going to go back to the university lifestyle yet for a change of careers, but it's a much more advertising option than finding that full time teaching job I really don't want and slaving away to the man at such a young age.

Quote: (01-12-2016 12:44 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

Wait until you guys get older. Friends will get married, have kids and you don't talk to them as much. When you do talk to them, the whole conversation revolves around their kids. Most don't have anything interesting going on.

This is exactly what I want to avoid becoming and in reference to trainwreck's comment, I would rather be the guy at the bar telling stories about much fun I had in my 20's (and will continue to have into my 30's and 40's) than talking about how my bratty kid just got suspended from school, how much weight my wife has gained, or complaining about a mortgage. I already have some decent savings, so I don't see what the rush is to make stacks of cash IF you're not interested in an extravagant lifestyle in the west later on. Moving to somewhere less expensive is always an option if you want to live like a king for peanuts. Money comes and goes. Life is all about experiences to me.

The problem with the concept of going to a place where you can live like a king for peanuts is that youll need substantial assets 500k+, a first worldesque income (36k+ usd) or some combination. All of those require sacrifice. Living on 1k in a 3rd world country will not allow you freedom to do many things people enjoy i.e. party hard on saturday, take a gf to a beach resort, dress well etc. A high quality of life is still expensive even in the 3rd world. Ive lived on from 1500-5000/ month while in the 3rd world. The months where I had 3k+ were much more enjoyable.
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#15

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (01-12-2016 08:18 PM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

This is exactly what I want to avoid becoming and in reference to trainwreck's comment, I would rather be the guy at the bar telling stories about much fun I had in my 20's (and will continue to have into my 30's and 40's) than talking about how my bratty kid just got suspended from school, how much weight my wife has gained, or complaining about a mortgage. I already have some decent savings, so I don't see what the rush is to make stacks of cash IF you're not interested in an extravagant lifestyle in the west later on. Moving to somewhere less expensive is always an option if you want to live like a king for peanuts. Money comes and goes. Life is all about experiences to me.

Your life doesn't have to end up like that. Most adults I know with children let themselves go and subsequently have nothing to show for themselves other than their kids.

You can still work out, read, invest, play an instrument, and all around be interesting. People as they age get lazy. However it's easier when you're young to keep up those good habits.

I'm probably just low energy but a good corporate gig where my employees respect me, a wife at home who stands by me, some rugrats, a house, and a gym in the basement sound about as perfect as a future as I could wish for at least for myself. Maybe rock out on a new instrument too. Hit up church. Go home and blaze up after it's all done.
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#16

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (01-13-2016 04:28 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

Quote: (01-12-2016 08:18 PM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

This is exactly what I want to avoid becoming and in reference to trainwreck's comment, I would rather be the guy at the bar telling stories about much fun I had in my 20's (and will continue to have into my 30's and 40's) than talking about how my bratty kid just got suspended from school, how much weight my wife has gained, or complaining about a mortgage. I already have some decent savings, so I don't see what the rush is to make stacks of cash IF you're not interested in an extravagant lifestyle in the west later on. Moving to somewhere less expensive is always an option if you want to live like a king for peanuts. Money comes and goes. Life is all about experiences to me.

Your life doesn't have to end up like that. Most adults I know with children let themselves go and subsequently have nothing to show for themselves other than their kids.

You can still work out, read, invest, play an instrument, and all around be interesting. People as they age get lazy. However it's easier when you're young to keep up those good habits.

I'm probably just low energy but a good corporate gig where my employees respect me, a wife at home who stands by me, some rugrats, a house, and a gym in the basement sound about as perfect as a future as I could wish for at least for myself. Maybe rock out on a new instrument too. Hit up church. Go home and blaze up after it's all done.

I agree. It's as if he's already given up without even trying. Someone who doesn't think he's worthy of a hot, faithful wife while he's ripped and making good money. I believe in self development and that's what sets us all apart from the average people. I don't even mean just in monetary terms but in terms of languages, women, travel, knowledge, fitness. Things you can easily fix and learn if you really want to. But I guess this is not everyone's ultimative goal.

I think a lot of women cheat on their husbands not only because they're whores but also because the guy lets himself totally go or the guy gets tired of fucking her. At my gym there's a lot of guys who are dads and work out daily while growing their wealth and dinasty, at least if their wives cheat, they'll know it was because they were tired of fucking her too.
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#17

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

For those in you mid-20s, a few things (on top of the thread about things you wish you known at 30):

1. Most of the people you feel who are moving ahead in life, who are on the up and up with work/life, settling down, etc....the vast majority will be crashing and burning in their 30s. Divorce rape, layoffs, health problems, horrible marriages and mundane lifestyles. It might SEEM on the surface things are going well. I assure you, they are not in most instances. So don't get hanged up on other peoples image of success. Most of these people are living a lie on credit and borrowed time.

2. Figure out your endgame financially ASAP. Cut every bullshit expense until you have a solid endgame plan and know what needs to be done to get there. The more money you have to start, the quicker you will get to the endgame.

3. Make sure that by 40 when creating the endgame plan you either a) have a skillset that makes you in-demand and non-replaceable or b) have enough income from own/side business to survive on. Unless you have a government job, age discrimination is a real thing. Lots of folks in their 40s/50s hanging by a thread financially praying to God that they don't get fired and employers know this.

4. In most cases, you will have to make real sacrifices to reach your endgame plan. Don't fight it. Accept it and press on to complete the objective. You will waste a lot of time looking for the perfect work/life balance that generally doesn't exist nor is realistic for most folks. Even Roosh, who has a lifestyle many of us envy, has had to make real sacrifices; lost time with friends/family being on the road a lot and hostile attention from the public come to mind for starters.

5. Any "friend", woman, acquaintance that doesn't bring value to your life needs to fuck off immediately. When you were in your teens and early 20s, you had time to indulge fairweather friends and people. Today and going forward, these people become time sinks that take time away from completing your objective. As the years progress, you will have good friends dive hard into blue pill living and attitude. It will become repulsive if you think too much about it. Don't fight or argue with them. Remain cordial but let them go. If they come around to red pill living, they will have to come around on their own accord for the most part.

6. Move in with a woman at your peril. Many friends will be doing it around this time. If you are not planning on having kids with her, under no circumstances should you live with a woman. Whatever money you save will not be worth the bullshit.
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#18

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Blackknight and Teryna are on point. Their wisdom is sound, holds true, and won't steer you wrong. I'm not certain its what you are looking for though.

I'm 28 and am at the tail end of this revelation period. In many ways, it sucks. The rug is being pulled out from underneath you and after twenty some odd years, you have no identity. HS you are horny little goofball getting ready for college and really don't take time to "think" because everything is so new and exciting. College makes it worse as you go further from who you are and enjoy the seemingly endless distractions. Beers? Of course. Madden/Fifa after class? Maybe smoke a bowl? Sure. Go to the gym? DUH! Go out 3-5 times a week? That is your given right. Bond in the morning over dumbshit done the night before? Of course. Lay in bed with a cutie til 1 PM? Sign me up. Go to class? Eh,..I guess. The list goes on and on.

I'm not dumping on these phases in life as so much as I'm highlighting that you'e always had distractions and "this is what we do at this age" activities to bond with others over. Some are life long friends, others are not, and its better that way.

This is what is happening, you are growing up and there is no more head counselor to plan the camps activities for the day. Its scary, its daunting, and many times, lonely. You are almost like a snake shedding its skin but part of you just wants to keep the old skin. You look at your fellow snakes and ask if they want to keep theirs for another year too. No one answers. Time that used to be filled with particular activities such as drinking is no longer so and you question whether you even want it to be. But its familiar and comforting so occasionally you do.

However, there is another part of you that says "I want more and I'd like to be on my way". I liken it to that movie scene where the chick is standing between two cars as they speed down a single lane highway, one foot in the old and another yearning for the new. However, the cars slowly begin to pull apart and your legs can only stretch for so long, its time to make a decision. The old and familiar or the new and unknown.

Its decision time and that, my friend, is a fantastic option to have.

Before you so do, figure out what you value. At 25, if you fully know, you are immensely lucky. I suspect sense you are writing the post that you do not know and that is perfectly normal. They probably aren't far away. Maybe a few hours worth of writing or a months worth of occasional pondering. Do this and the world is your oyster. If you neglect it, well you might end up being on the buyside and discussing alternative investments in a finely decorated conference room with a client while in your head thinking of ways to alternatively numb/kill yourself until you can go home and enjoy your millions.

I will guarantee before you get to 30 that you will come to understand that no "adult" really knows what they are doing. The current state of the world is testament to that.

Mid 20's is a precarious time in life. Nobody prepares you for it. You're a blank slate so go figure it the fuck out. Good luck and have fun.
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#19

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Honestly I cannot relate much. When I turned 25 things got REALLY good. I started making money (started my own business though, I've been lucky to never have a corporate gig), started getting laid more, and travelled a lot. Now I'm 27 and things seem to be getting better each year. I think I'm beginning to enter my prime, as young girls are becoming increasingly more interested in me and easier to bang. My friends are starting to get married though and some even having kids or seriously thinking about it- that's the main weird thing for me. My work load is also increasing pretty significantly but I don't see this as a bad thing. I still feel young but I'm starting to look older and some young girls are starting to think I'm old. It's actually kind of funny for me when girls tell me I'm old. Also as the years go on I care less and less about what people think of me. I'm more focused on what I'm doing. The way I see it, getting older is irrelevant as long as I avoid any serious health issues, stay in good shape, and continue to make more money every year.

Edit: I think going to college in your mid 20's (or any age) is a big mistake and waste of time. You're better off using these years to build up a business so by the time you're 30 you will have enough money to realistically be set for life. Personally if I were still in college I'd feel like I was wasting my time. A degree will never get you rich, it's really just a time consuming way to put yourself into ~$100k of debt.
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#20

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Just like to share that reading from you guys had made me feel better about myself. Reading all these posts made me feel ahead of all of you age wise. I'm only 21 and I'm at my last semester of my undergrad. Though I don't think Business Administration is that good of a major, I think it had pave me a clear road of how my competitive this field is with only $20k of debt. Thank you all for this thread, really some good lesson and advice for a youngling like me to relate to so I will know what to feel when I hit mid 20s.
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#21

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

College/university is cool but especially after the first year of a bachelors, you want to have good grades and that requires a lot of work. It makes one feel like squeezed in a straightjacket. If you work, at least you have your nights and weekends for yourself. I feel like I am doing the same thing every day, including Sundays, Saturdays, it never stops. That is what makes university a slog especially in the later years.

And I also believe that this is true:

https://boldanddetermined.com/how-to-har...al-energy/

In other words, a lot of people on this forum have a lot of undirected sexual energy what makes it VERY DIFFICULT to concentrate on schoolwork.
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#22

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Thanks to OP and lots of other contributors, all good advice.

I asked a similar question here, thread-43942.html, a lot of people chimed in with good advice.

Those of you who are in Europe, where freelancing is much harder to do unless you have a very specific talent, please, stay in college. Unless you have your own business, college is way better than the 9-5. And with all the government aid staying in college is not costly. When you work you pay taxes to support this collapsing system.

Another problem I notice turning 25 and working a corporate gig, is a huge dive in passion. Back in college I would go dancing every night of the week and aikido training every day if I can. Both also serve as a huge hunting ground for hot girls too.

Nowadays I rarely go dancing or training anymore. I thought its because I have less time, but it's simply because I no longer see myself doing it. I don't know why. It seems there was a switch turned off that say "those things aint cool no more".

I dont know what causes this. Maybe because I go to the gym less? In contrast I have good sex much much more regularly now that I have a cute girlfriend.

Anyone feels this or its just in my head?

Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
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#23

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (05-10-2016 04:34 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Nowadays I rarely go dancing or training anymore. I thought its because I have less time, but it's simply because I no longer see myself doing it. I don't know why. It seems there was a switch turned off that say "those things aint cool no more".

I dont know what causes this. Maybe because I go to the gym less? In contrast I have good sex much much more regularly now that I have a cute girlfriend.

Anyone feels this or its just in my head?

Back when I was 20 just 2 years ago I'd be out every weekend. More specifically, at least twice a week, every week. Bars, clubs, student nights, you name it. Even when it was -20 degrees outside.

I got into the nightlife scene big time. Made lots of friends, met insane amounts of girls. It really set up a foundation for me when it comes to game.

Just 3 years later I'm hardly motivated to go out at night. I'd rather wake up early and read a book than stay out late looking to get laid. I still go out from time to time, and I do keep my game skills sharp, but my focus has changed as my motivation is now on other areas. As opposed to just going out to socialize/get laid.
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#24

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

25 here. Moved to Europe at 23. I feel ya man. Shit has become systematic. I've written down everything I want to do/accomplish on printer paper and never look at again. It gives me a sense of control over my life which many people don't have at our age. I've been living an introverts dream doing whatever the fuck I want, to an extent. No boss, teach whatever, make average salary in my country, work at most 5 hours a day. These are positives but of course the questions is always, what's next? But once you discover this "game" you never go back and will always wonder what's next. For the time being, meditate and write to get a clear perspective.
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#25

Changes in 'Quarter Life'

Quote: (05-10-2016 02:43 PM)PragueDude Wrote:  

I've written down everything I want to do/accomplish on printer paper and never look at again.

I did the exact same thing and I can't be bothered looking at it again. I wonder why is that?
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