Because of unforeseen circumstances in my life, I've gone from being my confident self to someone who didn't have a direction for a while. Although feeling much freer than I had in the past, there was an element of self-respect and something intangible that was much more present before. Here, I'm listing some tips for what I understand about this thing called mojo, and what you can do about it. I'd appreciate any input or additional understanding as I am still in the process of figuring it all out:
Originally, my mojo came from my job, my situation, and the security of the lifestyle I was living. I was a pharmacy intern, but being tall, having a deep voice, and reasonably secure in my abilities led people to believe that I was in charge of the store. This definitely boosted my ego and gave me opportunities to flirt with many of the attractive women who frequented this location. The respect I was getting from other people was intoxicating.
*Status
*Ego validation
*Stability
*Theory: Beginning to believe that, although self-respect and belief in one's abilities and, for lack a a better term, greatness go a long way in enabling and building the foundations for confidence/mojo, it is at least helpful and at most, necessary to have constant positive feedback from others in order to sustain the feedback loop of great self-esteem.
After 2.5 years, I left to pursue paths I believed would be more fulfilling, more fruitful. I wandered around for a while until I moved across the country, where I start up schooling again.
Strangely enough, although I had been signed off by some of my former colleagues, I still found myself to be more bold and certain than many of the guys at my new school (about 3 years ago). Maybe it was ignorance, maybe it was the hate I felt for being undervalued by people who I thought I could find solidarity with had turned into something greater, a kind of dirty ambition. Regardless, I found myself cold approaching high status, attractive women at this new school. I'd go for it in class, when alone in the smoking areas, etc. Although I later changed my tactics to form to the bar and club scene, regular old day-game in an environment where no guys approach works surprisingly well.
*Competition; when it's light, you're good to go. When it's heavy, you have to get better.
*Being lost and not giving a fuck that you are; powerful, but dangerous. People can sense that kind of confidence. Whether it's rightly placed is a different story.
*Doing what you want: Although logically, staying at my old school in my old major would have been the smartest option, I was doing what made me feel good. Approaching women, building a social circle, breathing in life without an overbearing agenda.
(Although it worked, the last two point are products of live for the moment, short term thinking. I'd start to adopt this mindset again if on vacation and maybe on a long weekend. How it could fit into a more regimented, organized lifestyle I have yet to discover.)
One summer day, I met a girl in class with whom I felt the craziest chemistry I'd ever known up until that point. Something in my head snapped, and I was just on point for the next two months while we were seeing each other every day. My mistake here: fatal. I began to fall for her. I did a lot of self-evaluation, and decided I wanted to change some things for her. Don't do this unless you have to! The thing about being lost in life is, even though in some ways you are free, you do
not have certainty or a sense of obligation to yourself. In other words, if you're truly fucking around, you might want to be mature enough to know what's good for yourself. I was 22 then, hadn't even heard of the red pill and hadn't had a lot of social experience at that point.
Once she was gone after a few months, I realized that I was done. The high was over. Whatever DGAF confidence I had was gone, because I had decided to give a fuck, and that wasn't me. I spent the last few semesters trying to get my shit back in to gear, but I was miserable.
*Mojo comes from a lot of sources, hence my signature line: You know the truth by how it feels. You just know it when it's happening.
*Life comes in waves: Of course you can go out and make life what you want it to be, but terms of overall patterns, it's hills and valleys all along this one-way train ride. I say expect it and do some heavy lifting so you are prepared.
*Self-control is paramount, but there is also something to be said about going nuts and living wild if and when you can.
Hopefully that was helpful to you guys. I'm only 25 and don't want to come off as some wise, veteran player here, because the truth is that I am just a guy who is ballsier, funnier, and probably a little dumber than most when it comes to common sense. At least in my area I've found this to be true.
Originally, my mojo came from my job, my situation, and the security of the lifestyle I was living. I was a pharmacy intern, but being tall, having a deep voice, and reasonably secure in my abilities led people to believe that I was in charge of the store. This definitely boosted my ego and gave me opportunities to flirt with many of the attractive women who frequented this location. The respect I was getting from other people was intoxicating.
*Status
*Ego validation
*Stability
*Theory: Beginning to believe that, although self-respect and belief in one's abilities and, for lack a a better term, greatness go a long way in enabling and building the foundations for confidence/mojo, it is at least helpful and at most, necessary to have constant positive feedback from others in order to sustain the feedback loop of great self-esteem.
After 2.5 years, I left to pursue paths I believed would be more fulfilling, more fruitful. I wandered around for a while until I moved across the country, where I start up schooling again.
Strangely enough, although I had been signed off by some of my former colleagues, I still found myself to be more bold and certain than many of the guys at my new school (about 3 years ago). Maybe it was ignorance, maybe it was the hate I felt for being undervalued by people who I thought I could find solidarity with had turned into something greater, a kind of dirty ambition. Regardless, I found myself cold approaching high status, attractive women at this new school. I'd go for it in class, when alone in the smoking areas, etc. Although I later changed my tactics to form to the bar and club scene, regular old day-game in an environment where no guys approach works surprisingly well.
*Competition; when it's light, you're good to go. When it's heavy, you have to get better.
*Being lost and not giving a fuck that you are; powerful, but dangerous. People can sense that kind of confidence. Whether it's rightly placed is a different story.
*Doing what you want: Although logically, staying at my old school in my old major would have been the smartest option, I was doing what made me feel good. Approaching women, building a social circle, breathing in life without an overbearing agenda.
(Although it worked, the last two point are products of live for the moment, short term thinking. I'd start to adopt this mindset again if on vacation and maybe on a long weekend. How it could fit into a more regimented, organized lifestyle I have yet to discover.)
One summer day, I met a girl in class with whom I felt the craziest chemistry I'd ever known up until that point. Something in my head snapped, and I was just on point for the next two months while we were seeing each other every day. My mistake here: fatal. I began to fall for her. I did a lot of self-evaluation, and decided I wanted to change some things for her. Don't do this unless you have to! The thing about being lost in life is, even though in some ways you are free, you do
not have certainty or a sense of obligation to yourself. In other words, if you're truly fucking around, you might want to be mature enough to know what's good for yourself. I was 22 then, hadn't even heard of the red pill and hadn't had a lot of social experience at that point.
Once she was gone after a few months, I realized that I was done. The high was over. Whatever DGAF confidence I had was gone, because I had decided to give a fuck, and that wasn't me. I spent the last few semesters trying to get my shit back in to gear, but I was miserable.
*Mojo comes from a lot of sources, hence my signature line: You know the truth by how it feels. You just know it when it's happening.
*Life comes in waves: Of course you can go out and make life what you want it to be, but terms of overall patterns, it's hills and valleys all along this one-way train ride. I say expect it and do some heavy lifting so you are prepared.
*Self-control is paramount, but there is also something to be said about going nuts and living wild if and when you can.
Hopefully that was helpful to you guys. I'm only 25 and don't want to come off as some wise, veteran player here, because the truth is that I am just a guy who is ballsier, funnier, and probably a little dumber than most when it comes to common sense. At least in my area I've found this to be true.
Carpe Noctem
You'll know the truth by how it feels.
