[styleiconx]

Dear Manosphere,

Something along these has happened to me on more than one occasion and I can't seem to figure out how to counteract this so I need your advice as I feel its going to be the same with this girl:

I met a girl online and after ping-ponging several messages (read: 7 or 8 each) I set up drinks for Saturday at a nice hotel bar. Everything seems good but she comes back saying "sounds good, what time, I'm free whenever but I have another party at 8" - doesn't leave much prospect for evolving into much the same night - what to do? schedule something early for 2 hours and shoot for a second date? or reschedule for another day?

Anyone been in a similar situation where girls have plans to bounce somewhere after a date?

Any advice much appreciated

[styleiconx]

Perhaps the main point I'm trying to figure out is how to maintain a dominant frame in the interaction i.e. re-arranging or going for the date without looking / seeming needy.

[OregonToSoCal]

(01-05-2016 02:19 PM)styleiconx Wrote:  

Dear Manosphere,

Something along these has happened to me on more than one occasion and I can't seem to figure out how to counteract this so I need your advice as I feel its going to be the same with this girl:

I met a girl online and after ping-ponging several messages (read: 7 or 8 each) I set up drinks for Saturday at a nice hotel bar. Everything seems good but she comes back saying "sounds good, what time, I'm free whenever but I have another party at 8" - doesn't leave much prospect for evolving into much the same night - what to do? schedule something early for 2 hours and shoot for a second date? or reschedule for another day?

Anyone been in a similar situation where girls have plans to bounce somewhere after a date?

Any advice much appreciated

You can play it one of two ways. If you're going for the SNL or you're getting a strong feeling that a SNL could be on the table then go for the reschedule using something like "let's reschedule for when you have more time for us to really talk, when are you free next?"

Or if you want to take a two date approach, keep your plans as scheduled, limit it to one drink and about an hour tops and be the first to eject citing your own plans. Then hit her up 3-4 days later for date two unless she reaches out to you before then. In that case set up date two asap.

[WestIndianArchie]

If you showed up looking like Daniel Wu, suddenly she wants to hang out all night and cancel her party plans.

She's giving herself an out, but giving you a shot.

This means you're physically attractive enough to be seen in public with but not such a hottie that she would give you unfettered access and be immediately compliant to.

1. The clueless guy just agrees.

2.The pua response is "Derrr she's controlling the frame, I must win some kinda concession from her to steal back the frame."

3. The Dark Triad is "I must crush this girl, I will respond with k and that will make her hamster spin, muahahaha"

4. Red Pill is "this is hypergamy in action, but since her SMV must be higher than mine, she's only using me for validation.

5. Alpha " I will do the alpha thing and reject her offer and tell her to cancel her plans. My way or the highway"

The player response is to tentatively agree, but make contingency plans.

Whether or not she actually makes it to this "party" is really about your game, your conversations with her, and how you make her feel in the moment.

WIA

[456]

^^ absolutely - it's quite fun to play the "get her to flake" game. Worst case, you send her off after a lot of sexual tension, and then go out dolo all vibed up and sexual.

I chip away -- we're having a blast, loosening up after a drink or two, no acknowledgement of time constraint -- within the first 30 min I'm making jokes about how she's gonna be late, but only as backdrop to the intense connection we're having. (If we're not having a connection, it's moot.) Touching ramping up, etc.

I play like I've got all the time in the world. I've had the girl stay in the zone with me, ignoring the other plans without a mention from either of us, and roll on to a second venue and then home with me.

When I can sense she wants to ditch but feels bad, we make a game of writing her perfect excuse to flake, and deal with her texting for the 15 minutes that might take. Then she's "free", she's invested, and it's on.

If things go well, and we start to bang regularly (or more), it's a great frame how you "stole her" from her plans and were her partner in crime.

Sure, it could be she is so-so about you and wants to hedge. That's a downside of online -- I'd wager girls met in person pull this much less often.

[WestIndianArchie]

(01-05-2016 06:29 PM)456 Wrote:  

^^ absolutely - it's quite fun to play the "get her to flake" game. Worst case, you send her off after a lot of sexual tension, and then go out dolo all vibed up and sexual.

I chip away -- we're having a blast, loosening up after a drink or two, no acknowledgement of time constraint -- within the first 30 min I'm making jokes about how she's gonna be late, but only as backdrop to the intense connection we're having. (If we're not having a connection, it's moot.) Touching ramping up, etc.

I play like I've got all the time in the world. I've had the girl stay in the zone with me, ignoring the other plans without a mention from either of us, and roll on to a second venue and then home with me.

When I can sense she wants to ditch but feels bad, we make a game of writing her perfect excuse to flake, and deal with her texting for the 15 minutes that might take. Then she's "free", she's invested, and it's on.

If things go well, and we start to bang regularly (or more), it's a great frame how you "stole her" from her plans and were her partner in crime.

Sure, it could be she is so-so about you and wants to hedge. That's a downside of online -- I'd wager girls met in person pull this much less often.

This is lovely. Might be a bit advanced for the youngsta, but top notch game here.

I think OP needs to think about his contingencies.

She agrees to
1. pick him up (lol)
2. he picks her up
3. meet at a central place near him
4. meet a central place close to her
5. meet a central place equally annoying for both

{Pro-Tip, 4 is better than 5 because if he can get his game on, he can bang at her place}

It's 4 and 5 that he needs to plan for, because if the party is "legit" she's going to get ready for it, and their date cuts into her getting ready time.

So logistically, he needs to call and confirm. (I've still done that, she said yes and was still a fucking hour late - fucked her and forgot for the record)

Whatever place they meet/activity they choose, he's basically working against the clock to attract, get compliance, get rapport, and escalate.

It helps if he knows the area of the meet because he can seed a "spontaneous" bounce. "Don't worry, it'll take 15 minutes"

But i'm having too much fun with breaking this down.

WIA

[Running Turtles]

I would say that 9 times out of 10, she's just giving herself an out. If you talk to girls who go on dates with guys they meet online, you'll see they do this shit a lot. My current LTR said she'd have a female friend call her around an hour into the date and if she wanted to leave, she'd just pretend it was a call from work telling her to come in.

If she leaves to go to her "event", I'd recommend you to move on to the next girl unless she initiates contact with you afterwards.

[General Stalin]

This actually brings me onto another topic. Apologies for derailing a bit but it is quite relevant:

Say you are already banging a girl so playing a game about whether or not you can get her to bail on supposed other "plans" in favor of spending the night with you is not so much an issue anymore.

You have an activity you want to do on a Friday night that you invite her to. She says she has plans with a girlfriend(s) and won't be able to do it. Now, say she is saying she will see if she can bail on her friend(s) so she join you in your plans.

Do you:

A.) Agree and have her bail on her friends so she can spend the night with you instead.

B.) Tell her don't worry about it she already has plans and bailing on her friends is lame.

If I feel more "secure" about the girl then I personally tend to go for B. I feel like it makes me look more independent and gives off the vibe that I don't mind if she is there or not because I'm doing this activity regardless. It also instills the idea that I don't approve of her bailing on plans with people whether it be me or anyone else.

In the past I have done this and the girl's other "plans" ended up conveniently "falling through." Go figure.

Sometimes I find they will make up that they have "plans" to make it seem like they aren't super available and have other shit going on in their life besides you - in that case I find it helpful to basically say "have fun I'll let you know how [event] goes!"

I will go with A if it's early in the relationship or I feel less confident about her investment in me to see if she will actually prioritize me over other shit she has going on.

[WestIndianArchie]

@GS

It pains me to say this, as I've been the guy to just let her do whatever, just get home safe

You're more invested in her happiness without you, than your happiness with her. If she's happy generally she'll stay.

If it's your main/ltr she should be checking with you to see if you have something for the two of you. Not in a big man sort of way, but she looks to you first before others.

Maybe she doesn't have one heel out the door, but if keeping her is a priority, make her cancel and then take a "6" experience and make it a ten. Doesn't mean over the top planning, or something expensive or elaborate just worth her while.

A chick that's not totally into you can forget all the good and focus on one bad thing that's in line with her feelings to justify her actions.


LTR Game is the hardest

WIA

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

You might find this thread to be helpful:

How to deal with girls flaking in the middle of a date?