[WestIndianArchie]

This was the life lesson my Croatian cab driver dropped on me yesterday.

Since it's gotten cold, the LTR threads have been popping up like pumpkin spice lattes.

You guys already know my argument against so called LTR strategy.

recap
- you can't pick right
- you can't see into the future
- past performance is no guarantee of future results
- you can't modify the environment in this modern age
- it's entirely pointless, they all have minds of their own, and not necessarily going to agree with what you want for them.
- what you do have control over is yourself....
- end rant

I think his advice is even more to the point.

The first part is somewhat obvious.
But "Don't Wait" is the part that people gloss over.

Time is precious.

I know we got some married guys and some family guys here.

Now before you blow up your life because some guy on the internet said something, really define for yourself what "good" is. Some things are truly trivial, but other things are not.

If your woman is not honoring you and respecting you, that's not trivial. That includes your sexual needs. That's baseline essential behavior in ANY relationship, husband/wife;employer/employee; friend to friend.

The rest of you, dealing with these pretty faced losers, give them a chance, but cut out when they fail.

WIA

[OneEyedMonk]

LTRs/marriages should be entered into exclusively for the purpose or raising sons/kids.

Dissolving an LTR/marriage comes at the price of the sanity of your sons/kids. Before you pull the trigger, make very sure what the consequences are, and that this is what you are prepared to pay.

There is two very important guiding wisdoms:

1. "A wife is a lover in the younger years, a partner in the middle years, and a nurse in the latter years."

Never confuse the role of your LTR at the different stages of your life. Have your particular expectations right at every particular point of time. It is a moving target.
Won't suck cock in the early years? Next.
Won't suck cock in the middle years, but will administer the homework of the 3 kids? Keep.
You don't think she will change your adult diaper when you're 78? Next.
You don't really think she's on your team when you have hit the 40s, after 10 years of marriage? Next (subject you are at peace putting the kids through this)

2. “Mistresses we have for the sake of our pleasure, prostitutes for the daily care of our bodies, and wives to bear us legitimate children and to be faithful guardians of our households.” - - Apollodorus of Seleucia
Women are supplies of services. Make sure you understand when which one is the supplier of what particular of the 3 service segments. Misjudgment and mishandling will lead to potential disaster.

[TravelerKai]

Quote:

Since it's gotten cold, the LTR threads have been popping up like pumpkin spice lattes.

Brutal.

[straightarrow]

OMG you guys are killin me. Its spot on for sure.

[Remington]

(12-30-2015 10:37 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

Quote:

Since it's gotten cold, the LTR threads have been popping up like pumpkin spice lattes.

Brutal.

Was just about to say something about that line. Hilarious.

My current LTR and I are all about taking it slow and having fun. We can only hang out on the weekends so we try to do one thing fun each time out. That can be going to a bar to watch the game or dicking around at the shooting range.

The sex is great and I get it whenever I want. She cooks for me and always has a smile on her face. We do a lot of stuff I want to do which is cool, but I also give her options of what is available so she thinks she sometimes picks the activity. Kind of like when you want your kid to go to bed. Instead of telling him to go to bed, you give him the option of what PJs he wants to wear.

I genuinely enjoy spending time with her and the time commitment isn't anything crazy. She is completely enamored with me so at this point, the relationship will end if I want it to to end. Nothing has happened (yet) where I would question it, but you never know what could unfold.

[CleanSlate]

So when it gets warmer in a few months, the LTR threads will disappear?

[Kwisatz]

WIA, I'm not sure how to read this. Can you expand on what you mean by "can't pick right"?

(12-30-2015 08:17 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

recap
- you can't pick right
WIA

[RexImperator]

Quote:

So when it gets warmer in a few months, the LTR threads will disappear?

And the "It's Pussy Season" thread will reappear.

[Off The Reservation]

(12-30-2015 10:59 AM)Remington Wrote:  

(12-30-2015 10:37 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

Quote:

Since it's gotten cold, the LTR threads have been popping up like pumpkin spice lattes.

Brutal.

Was just about to say something about that line. Hilarious.

My current LTR and I are all about taking it slow and having fun. We can only hang out on the weekends so we try to do one thing fun each time out. That can be going to a bar to watch the game or dicking around at the shooting range.

The sex is great and I get it whenever I want. She cooks for me and always has a smile on her face. We do a lot of stuff I want to do which is cool, but I also give her options of what is available so she thinks she sometimes picks the activity. Kind of like when you want your kid to go to bed. Instead of telling him to go to bed, you give him the option of what PJs he wants to wear.

I genuinely enjoy spending time with her and the time commitment isn't anything crazy. She is completely enamored with me so at this point, the relationship will end if I want it to to end. Nothing has happened (yet) where I would question it, but you never know what could unfold.

[kaotic]

(12-30-2015 12:07 PM)offthereservation Wrote:  

(12-30-2015 10:59 AM)Remington Wrote:  

(12-30-2015 10:37 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

Quote:

Since it's gotten cold, the LTR threads have been popping up like pumpkin spice lattes.

Brutal.

Was just about to say something about that line. Hilarious.

My current LTR and I are all about taking it slow and having fun. We can only hang out on the weekends so we try to do one thing fun each time out. That can be going to a bar to watch the game or dicking around at the shooting range.

The sex is great and I get it whenever I want. She cooks for me and always has a smile on her face. We do a lot of stuff I want to do which is cool, but I also give her options of what is available so she thinks she sometimes picks the activity. Kind of like when you want your kid to go to bed. Instead of telling him to go to bed, you give him the option of what PJs he wants to wear.

I genuinely enjoy spending time with her and the time commitment isn't anything crazy. She is completely enamored with me so at this point, the relationship will end if I want it to to end. Nothing has happened (yet) where I would question it, but you never know what could unfold.

Hey man I thought the same thing about my LTR I just dumped.

Everything was fine and dandy for the most part (until I had my eyes opened by this forum), you mentioned you're taking it slow, having fun, BUT only see eachother on the weekends.

Sooner or later she won't be "haaapy" just seeing you twice a week and wants more of your time, depending on how long of an LTR you have, she might broach the subject of moving in, futures about marriage and kids, etc.

It's not a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN.

In due time, these things WILL surface.

It's at this point you'll have to decide, if she worth moving forward with ? Or is it time to eject ?

Only you can make that decision and in most cases a girl isn't worth it, so you throw her a parachute and hope she lands safely with minimum pain.

[WestIndianArchie]

@Kwisatz

I want a Polish 8.5 from a second tier city that is religious, domestic, and family oriented.

I am going to meet her, bang her, get into a relationship, and then after full family and friend investigation - marry her with a prenup. We will then move to a sleepy suburb in red state America.

We will have children within a few years of marriage, and I expect that she will follow me to the grave.

Because i have checked off these requirements, i have a better than average chance that I'll have a loving and faithful wife who will be joyous about being ba homemaker.

My screening along with my changes to her environment make a significant difference.

"You cannot pick right" refers to
1) women's ability to be deceptive
2) their propensity to reevaluate the situation and change. Even if objectively their circumstances are better in the current moment and the actual likelihood of better is low.

There is far too much "security" in these prudent measures that betray lack of knowledge about women in general and what happens in an LTR.

WIA

[Remington]

(12-30-2015 12:15 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Hey man I thought the same thing about my LTR I just dumped.

Everything was fine and dandy for the most part (until I had my eyes opened by this forum), you mentioned you're taking it slow, having fun, BUT only see eachother on the weekends.

Sooner or later she won't be "haaapy" just seeing you twice a week and wants more of your time, depending on how long of an LTR you have, she might broach the subject of moving in, futures about marriage and kids, etc.

It's not a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN.

In due time, these things WILL surface.

It's at this point you'll have to decide, if she worth moving forward with ? Or is it time to eject ?

Only you can make that decision and in most cases a girl isn't worth it, so you throw her a parachute and hope she lands safely with minimum pain.

After reading your thread about your LTR, I definitely started looking at things about my relationship in a different perspective. The whole thing about moving in and the future is a ways away. She said she doesn't even want to think about anything like that for a long time or have kids anytime soon.

I'm not to the point yet to think about ejecting because everything is still going well. Of course, my attitude could change over night and make me want to move on to greener pastures.

That's the great thing about the forum. We have a bunch of men looking out for each others interests and providing knowledge and advice using their life experiences. I know that if I ever have any concerns or questions about this situation, there will be those here that can offer insight and support.

Cheers.

[Menace]

WIA I know a more or less suitable Polish girl, but she is 5.5. You sure you need a V8?

[Balkanite]

Listen to your gut. If she's not good or right for you now, she'll never be.

[rudebwoy]

Archie - are you serious about the Polish 8.5 or is that hypothetical?

[Beyond Borders]

(12-30-2015 12:02 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

So when it gets warmer in a few months, the LTR threads will disappear?

I mean, could we honestly expect anything different?

Sidenote: I seized on that line too. That's one for the record books there.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

(12-30-2015 01:07 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Archie - are you serious about the Polish 8.5 or is that hypothetical?

Think he was being tongue in cheek

What he wrote was pretty much verbatim what a lot of analytical guys post when they have their life "all planned out", not taking into account a woman's unpredictability and flightiness.

[rudebwoy]

^ Thanks MDP.

I opened up a Polish 8.5 in Starbucks yesterday!

[Beyond Borders]

I think it's about time we all just accept the fact that we're going to be a bunch of lonely, drunk as shit, grumpy old bastards with some great fucking stories and get on with it.

Even if we're typing one finger at a time and squinting through coke bottle lenses, at least we'll have each other.



Although...if the sky hasn't fallen on Southeast Asia yet, maybe we can still all come here and RVF can pick up some solid backing from a Viagra sponsorship.

[MMM]

WIA is on the money, it's always a crapshoot. That Polish 8.5 will only get older and more than likely fatter. That's all beyond your control, no matter how alpha you are. That's the scary part, that ultimately, your only real option is removing yourself from the long term relationship. No matter how much you try, you can't control or change other people. Throw kids into the mix and it's a recipe for disaster.

Having said that, a long term relationship can be a beautiful thing. But it gets dicey when romance becomes intertwined with finances and children. A wife with children knows she has you by the balls. You've got to keep your options open so at the first sign of unhappiness, you're free to step out of the relationship. Screw the lonely old man myth. I was never so lonely as I was when I was unhappily married.

[kaotic]

(12-30-2015 06:51 PM)MMM Wrote:  

I was never so lonely as I was when I was unhappily married.

This should be a sticky quote, matter of fact, I'm posting this on that thread.

[WestIndianArchie]

(12-30-2015 01:07 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Archie - are you serious about the Polish 8.5 or is that hypothetical?

It's the amped up version of what is being prescribed and NOT CHALLENGED.

WIA

[262]

I agree with the title of the thread. It applies anywhere in the world.

What I would say is what the OP thinks is prescribed by the forum IS in fact regularly challenged. The alternatives proposed:

"Spin plates forever!" Anecdotes from the forum and leading figures such as Roosh suggest this answer is unsatisfactory. While some guys are avoiding any work, which they shouldn't, some guys are bored of women, or don't want to become bored of them.

"Marry a slut!" Most guys here don't want to go with this feminist line. The thinking instead seems to be: "a lock that opens for any key is a bad lock. A key that opens any lock is a good key."

"Find a good girl in the West!" Possible, but for most guys, less probable than finding one in EE/SEA/LatAm. Plenty of anecdotes on this both in and out of the manosphere.

As OP states, there is no 100% solution. But does that mean you give up on what you want?

Do you not approach a 9 in your book because the approach doesn't have a 100% guarantee of success?

At the same time, if that approach fails, do you endlessly plow on that hopeless approach, or do you cut your losses and find another girl to approach?

[pitt]

Most of relationships that worked out, both parties had to endure lots of stuff. If for any small thing, you are willing to walk out, you may never have a life ending relationship.

I assume that relationship advice should be given by people who have been on it for many years and I am sure those people have gone through things that they probably didn't want to go through.

When you have kids and a wife, it's not longer about you and your wife, it is about the whole family.

[WestIndianArchie]

@Pitt

How many women sacrifice their happiness for the good of the family?

There is debate about how many marriages fail, 30%-60%

There is no debate on who initiates divorce proceedings. It's women by a large margin. If she ain't happy she's running to the courthouse. She puts herself first, and euphemistically the children.

The man that stays in a relationship where the woman is openly disrespectful or adulterous is not doing his children any good. At home watching Frozen with the kids while Mommy is having her weekly girls night out.

Part of the weakness of most men is this willingness to sacrifice self for others. It is not natural. It is bred into boys at an early age. Some 15 year old just gave his life for 3 girls. Why?

Men's mental health and emotional welfare are verboten in the mainstream and in the 'Sphere. But game is largely about tapping into those things that have been suppressed.

So even with a family in mind, a man should consider his grievances as equal to those of others. He may decide to stick with the abuse, but it should not be an automatic decision.

WIA